How many of you have ever been actively involved in a major negotiation? Let’s see some hands….
None of none of the above So I’ll assume that the rest of you have never……. Ask for a raise Been asked for a raise Bought a car Planned a vacation with a spouse Been a parent of a five year old child Been a five year old child
You are about to begin an important negotiation. Your objective is to ______?
Traditional negotiations continuum: Competitive Collaborative Cooperative
Negotiations Continuum Competitive Collaborative Cooperative “I win – You lose” “Let’s work together to create a bigger pie” “We’ll divide the pie fairly”
Even in a traditional negotiation your objectives should be twofold: Collaborative Cooperative Achieve immediate objective Elevate the relationship Competitive
Learning outcomes for this session 1.Focus on elevating the relationship 2. 3. 4.
Negotiation Persuasion or Communication Now that we will all be focusing on elevating relationships….
Persuasion begins by identifying where your relationship is on the continuum. Competitive Collaborative Cooperative
Where is this on the continuum? Ben Stiller & Hank Azaria – Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
Aristotle described three devices that classified a speaker’s persuasive appeal: 1.Ethos (authority) – qualified to speak 2.Pathos (emotion) – ability to connect with the other party 3.Logos ( logic) - the clarity of the claim, the effectiveness of supporting evidence Interest in approving one’s persuasion skills dates back to the 4 th century B.C.
There are certain behaviors that tend to trigger automatic responses in others. In negotiations theory these behaviors are called tactics. Whether intentional or unintentional, tactics advance immediate objectives. Tactics usually do not elevate relationships. A key take-away from the literature….
A first group of tactics focus on basic emotions…… Confrontation Threat Tease Position
Something as simple as where you sit during a conversation is important. Chevy Chase & Brian Doyle – National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
A first group of tactics focus on basic emotions…… Confrontation Threat Tease Position Flinch
Is there any doubt about who is in charge? Michael Kaufman & Brian Doyle – National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
Create a neutral environment Ask first for input from others before sharing your ideas Specifically state that you value the other person’s opinion When you are in a position of authority how might you minimize emotional factors to elevate the relationship ?
A second group of tactics attempt to cast the speaker as powerless…. Confrontation Position Flinch Tease Threat Messenger Never get approved Third-party pressure Violins Deadline
How many tactics do you recognize here? Elliott Gould – Devil and Max Devlin
A third group of tactics rely more on the appearance of being reasonable or logical. Confrontation Position Flinch Tease Threat Messenger Never get approved Third-party pressure Violins Deadline Foggy memory Fair & reasonable Expert information
Michael Douglas & Charlie Sheen – Wall Street One of the most commonly used tactics is...
Learning outcomes for this session 1.Focus on elevating the relationship. 2.Tactics only work if the receiving party is not aware of them. 3.
Tactics as Counter-tactics Never get approved Deadline Competition Limited authority Brackets Third-party pressure Fair and reasonable
But remember our goal: Elevate the relationship Achieve immediate objective
More Effective Countermeasures Disclose feelings Legitimacy Cesura
Disclose personal feelings, then ask for help understanding Disclose Feelings
Scenario: It is 4:00 pm on Friday afternoon and a colleague comes into your office to ask if you could help them build a PowerPoint presentation for a recycling initiative that they have been working on for months. The presentation is due on Monday. You have promised your significant other that you will take them to the beach this weekend. Disclose Feelings
Depersonalize the issue Strengthen your position with Reputation Expertise Data Legitimacy
Scenario: The Dean of Engineering stops by your office with drawings for her new academic resources center. The plan requires that you relocate a recycling station that you have been working on for two years. You have no other space available for this station. The Dean indicates that she wants to begin construction by the end of the week. Legitimacy
Cesura Scenario: A direct report asks you for permission to take a sick day tomorrow but you already overheard her making plans to go to a baseball game. When you explain that you really need her at work she gets angry and accuses you of being tougher on her than other co-workers.
Learning outcomes for this session 1.Focus on elevating the relationship. 2.Tactics only work if the receiving party is not aware of them. 3.Practice positive countermeasures
A little practice….. Scenario: You are the Sustainability Director for a mid-sized university. You have been working on your budget for months and do not believe that it is possible to fulfill your responsibilities without a 2% increase in your budget for the following year. In a private meeting with the Chair of the Faculty Senate, she advises you, “the faculty voted last night to recommend cutting funding for sustainability initiatives by 50% to fund an increase of 4 to 6% for faculty salaries this year. ”
Now the fourth session outcome and perhaps the greatest ah-ah.
There are only two acceptable responses to a demand. Non- concession with explanation Conditional concession with counter demand and explanation.
It’s all very simple Request/demand Listen & Acknowledge Clarify/ Test YesNo Conditional acceptance with counterdemand Non-acceptance with explanation Confirm and restate agreement YesNo Agreement?
Learning outcomes for this session 1.Focus on elevating the relationship. 2.Tactics only work if the receiving party is not aware of them. 3.Practice positive countermeasures. 4.There are only two acceptable responses to a demand.
How does this differ from the first film clip in this session? Dennis Quaid – The Rookie
Learning outcomes for this session 1.Focus on elevating the relationship. 2.Tactics only work if you are not aware of them. 3.Practice positive countermeasures. 4.There are only two acceptable responses to a demand. 5.Most successful relationships begin with caring more about the other party.
The Fifth Takeaway Matthew McConaughey – Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Learning outcomes for this session 1.Commit to elevating your relationship. 2.Recognize when tactics are influencing your behavior. 3.Practice positive countermeasures. 4.Consider a conditional response. 5.Care.
There are countless publications regarding negotiation and persuasion. Negotiating Skills, Tim Hindle, DK Publishing, ISBN 0-7894-2448-7, 1998, $7.00. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert B. Cialdini, Collins Business Essentials, ISBN 978-0-06- 124189-5, 2007, $12.23
Thank you for spending this time with me. I sincerely hope you takeaway at least one memorable thought from this session. I welcome questions, comments, feedback, suggestions for improvements, anecdotes, movie clips, office visits and e-mails if you’d ever like to talk further. firstname.lastname@example.org