1. Or Why your first draft should suck

2.  What do we do with Feedback?  What NOT to do  Why Should I Rewrite?  What Tools are in my Toolbox?  None of this matters. They didn’t get it.  Cool stuff from Hampl  Actual Exercises

3.  Read it closely and summarize it for yourself.  Develop questions that could elicit more clarity of the feedback.  Ask for feedback for areas that were missed (specific places in the essay, or specific areas of the essay)  Move the feedback into actionable items for your rewriting stage.

4.  Ignore or belittle it  Cry  Get angry or emotional (this is hard, I know)  Explain to the writer what they didn’t get but should have

5.  Revision is actually REWRITING something  Rewriting can reshape a piece to clarity  It’s actually GOOD to have a really terrible first draft and to NOT be tied to any “outcomes” for the draft  You want to communicate your idea  It’s fun. (You’re a writer—this stuff is supposed to be fun.)

6. Top Story ToolsBottom Story Tools  Do you have a top story? If not, you need to add one.  Rearrange for clarity and to highlight observation  Move from general to specific with your commentary  Focus on one aspect of top story—scene/setting, character, dialogue  Eliminate places where you’re imparting important lessons to the reader  Delete, cut, tighten, at the sentence level  Develop even more CONCRETE Description and Detail  Use figurative language

7. The first draft is an opportunity for “Look and See”

8.  What didn’t they get? ◦ Observation ◦ Reflection ◦ Deep/Hungry Voice (the dragon!) When you identify what you’re wanting the reader to get, often you’ll see that you were so focused on getting there that you forgot to write.

9.  “if I approach writing from memory with the assumption that I know what I wish to say, I assume that intentionality is running the show.”  “The piece remains a first draft because I haven’t yet gotten to know it.”  “The truth of many circumstances and episodes in the past emerges for the [writer] through details”

10.  “Invention is inevitable.”  “The beauty of memory rests in its talent for rendering detail, for paying homage to the senses.”  “Memoir is the intersection of narration and reflection, of storytelling and essay writing.”  “Locating touchstones...”  “Memoir is no guidebook.”

11.  Rewrite the opening 3 ways  Cross out everything that is reflection and write out the spine of your story  Cross out everything that is observation and see what kind of iceberg is lurking under the surface  Write it all in simple sentences  Write it all in Complex sentences.  Write it in rotating sentence types.

12.  Uhm, do this now?