Vey iz meer An expression which closely resembles "Who is Me", and is cried out by Jewish mothers every 15 minutes. An anthem of true suffering.
Goyim People who are Gentile. A polite term for anyone who doesn't love a good bargain, or has extra-skin on his schmeckel.
Tatele An endearing term of love which means "little man". An emasculating term for women to call men, if you think about it. But who has time to think.
Gefilte Fish A tasty mix of congealed fish parts and transparent slime jelly. The only food it is permissible for Jewish children to refuse. In some families, they may even be allowed to gag, but politely.
Jaleria A derogatory term which best refers to a female business associate, or a mother-in-law. The closest English equivalent is "bitch".
Kurve A call-girl, or prostitute. A reference to the Russian Czar's wife at the turn of the 20th Century, and to that flashy shiksa your nephew married. Also known as Nafkeh.
Kugel A yummy blend of overcooked noodles, raisins, and curds of ripe cheese. Not fun to look at. When lathered with sour cream makes an excellent artery hardener.
Borsht A purple soup made from beets and ammonia. Often eaten by elderly Ashkenazic Jews who slurp noisily and have protruding nose hair. Which is helpful, because it stinks to high heaven.
K'neidelach Also referred to as matzoh balls. Made with styrofoam and sponges. ** There isn't a laxative in the world strong enough to counteract them.
Shmendrik A man who messes things up, always loses and feels miserable. Closely related to Schlemazel and Schlemiell. Every Jewish family has at least one, often named Irving.
Shlemil A jerk who can't do anything right. In simple terms, someone who's always spilling his soup.
Shlemazel The poor dumb putz a Shlemil is always spilling soup on.
Tzures A word refering to all problems, trouble, grief, aggravation and heartache. Examples: daughter pregnant with child of an unemployed Catholic bartender, adult son loses job and moves back home. Major Tzures: Daughter and baby "Bridget" move back home too.
Latkes Potato pancakes fried in castor oil and lightly seasoned with balsa wood. Smells like old boxer shorts.
Ken ain-a-jore A gleeful rejoice used when Jewish parents find out their only daughter is going to marry the Jewish surgeon (who is bi-sexual) rather than that poor, unemployed goyishe bartender who is a stud…