2Chapter 6: Mate Selection Chapter Outline Cultural Aspects of Mate SelectionSociological Factors Operative in Mate SelectionPsychological Factors Operative in Mate SelectionSociobiological Factors Operative in Mate SelectionEngagementFactors which Suggest You Might Delay or Call off the WeddingThe Future of Selecting a Partner
3Chapter 6: Mate Selection Introduction True or False?Persons who participate in a premarital education program show no benefits in relationship quality when compared with nonparticipants.
4Chapter 6: Mate Selection Introduction Answer: FALSEResearch shows that the average participant in a premarital prevention program experienced about a 30% increase in measures of outcome success. They were more likely than nonparticipants to experience immediate and short-term gains in interpersonal skills and overall relationship quality.
5Chapter 6: Mate Selection Introduction Quote: “It really doesn’t matter who you marry since you are sure to find out you married someone else.”Discussion:What do you see as the main criteria when searching for a mate? Why?
6Cultural Aspects of Mate Selection Fewer than 1% of persons marry someone outside their race.Independent of sexual orientation, two forms of cultural pressure operative in mate selection are:Endogamy: Expectation to marry within one’s social group.Exogamy: Expectation to marry outside one’s own family group.
7Sociological Factors Operative in Mate Selection The homogamy theory of mate selection states that we tend to be attracted to and become involved with those who are similar to us in age, race, religion, and social class.The more couples have in common, the higher the reported relationship satisfaction and the more durable the relationship.
9Sociological Factors Operative in Mate Selection Homogamy Homogamy operates almost without awareness.This couple reports, “we love each other”…but they are also of the same race, age, education, social class, and religious background.
10Sociological Factors Operative in Mate Selection Homogamy Although most undergraduates are open to dating outside their race, marrying someone of another race is rare for them.In a sample of 2,922 undergraduates, 35% of females and 30% of males reported that they had dated interracially. But as noted in the national data, only about 10% marry interracially.
12Psychological Factors Operative In Mate Selection Complimentary Needs Theory States that we select mates whose needs are opposite and complementary to our ownQuestions raised about this theory:Can personality needs be met outside the relationship?What is a complementary need as opposed to a similar value?Could a dependent person develop confidence and no longer need to be with a dominant person?
13Psychological Factors Operative In Mate Selection Exchange Theory Mate selection is based on who offers the greatest rewards at the lowest cost:Rewards: Behaviors and resources that influence you to continue the relationshipCost: Unpleasant aspects of the relationshipProfit: When rewards exceed costsLoss: When costs exceed rewardsAlternative: Does another person offer a higher profit margin?
14Psychological Factors Operative In Mate Selection Role Theory and Attachment Theory Role Theory of Mate Selection is a theory that focuses on the social learning of roles. A son or daughter models after the parent of the same sex by selecting a partner similar to the one the parent selected.Attachment Theory of Mate Selection developed early in the reference to one’s parents, the drive toward an intimate, social/emotional connection.
15Psychological Factors Operative In Mate Selection Positive Assortative Personality Mating Positive Assortative Personality Mating refers to individuals who sort each other out on the basis of similar personality characteristics.Desirable Personality Characteristics of a Potential Mate: In a study of 700 undergraduates, both men and women reported that personality characteristics of being warm, kind, and open and having a sense of humor were very important to them in selecting a romantic or sexual partner.
16Undesirable Personality Characteristics of a Potential Mate: Psychological Factors Operative In Mate Selection Positive Assortative Personality MatingUndesirable Personality Characteristics of a Potential Mate:ControllingNarcissisticPoor Impulse ControlHypersensitiveInflated EgoPerfectionisticInsecureControlledSubstance Abuser
17Psychological Factors Operative In Mate Selection Personality Types Problematic in a Potential Partner
18Sociobiological Factors Operative in Mate Selection Men and women select mates on the basis of their concern for producing offspring.Men look for a young, healthy, attractive, sexually conservative woman who will produce healthy children and take care of them.Women look for an ambitious man with good economic capacity who will invest resources in her children.
19Sociobiological Factors Operative in Mate Selection Criticisms:Women show concern for the earning capacity of men because they have been denied access to similar economic resources.Both women and men think about their partners more as companions than as future parents of their offspring.
20Engagement“A happy wife sometimes has the best husband, but more often makes the best of the husband she has.” -UnknownEngagement: Time in which the romantic partners are sexually monogamous, committed to marry, and focused on wedding preparations.
21Engagement Premarital Counseling Some clergy require one or more sessions of premarital counseling as a prerequisite to agreeing to marry the couple.In addition to seeing a counselor or completing self-help tests, many individuals get advice from friends, parents, and religious leaders.
22Engagement Visiting Your Partner’s Parents If you want to know what your partner may be like in the future, look at his or her parent of the same sex.If you want to know how your partner is likely to treat you in the future, observe the way your partner’s parent of the same sex treats and interacts with his or her spouse.
23Engagement Premarital Education Programs and Counseling Some premarital couples attend the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP).Couples who learn how to communicate and negotiate conflict are less likely than a control group to divorce or separate.They also report greater marital satisfaction, fewer conflicts, and less physical violence.
24Engagement Prenuptial Agreement Designed to specify how property will be divided if the marriage ends in divorce or by the death of one partner.Reasons for a prenuptial agreement:Protecting assets for children from a prior relationshipProtecting business associates
25Engagement Food for thought… Discussion: What are some disadvantages of signing a prenuptial agreement?
26Factors that Suggest You Might Delay or Call off the Wedding Age 18 or YoungerIndividuals who marry in their teens have a greater risk of divorce.Known Partner Less Than Two YearsPartners who date at least two years before getting married report the highest level of marital satisfaction.
27Factors that Suggest You Might Delay or Call off the Wedding Abusive RelationshipPartners who emotionally and/or physically abuse their partners while dating continue this in marriage.High Frequency of Negative Comments/Low Frequency of Positive CommentsIndividuals who criticize each other end up damaging their relationship in a way which does not make it easy for positives to recover.
28Factors that Suggest You Might Delay or Call off the Wedding Numerous Significant DifferencesPersons who report the greatest degree of satisfaction in relationships have a great deal in common.On-and-Off RelationshipCouples who routinely break up and get back together should examine the issues that recur in their relationship.
29Factors that Suggest You Might Delay or Call off the Wedding Dramatic Parental DisapprovalIf the parents of either partner disapprove of their child’s choice of spouse, the partners should try to evaluate these concerns objectively.Low Sexual SatisfactionSexual satisfaction is linked to relationship satisfaction, love, and commitment.
30Marrying for the Wrong Reason Examples include:ReboundEscapeUnplanned pregnancyPsychological blackmailInsurance benefitsPityFilling a void
31Whether to Continue or End a Relationship Rhoades, et al. (2010) identified four factors involved in whether a person continues or ends a relationship.DedicationPerceived constraintsMaterial constraintsFeeling trapped
32Selecting Partners in the Future The future of selecting a lifetime partner will involve the increased use of Internet dating sites.Hence, in addition to meeting the “old-fashioned way,” individuals will be logging on and fishing in the online pool.
33Quick QuizThe cultural expectation to find a mate within one's social group is called:homogamyexogamymonogamyendogamyANS: D
34Quick Quiz Which scenario best describes complementary needs theory? selection of mates with opposite valuesselection of mates with similar looksselection of mates with similar valuesselection of mates with different looksANS: A
35Quick QuizWhich of the following emphasizes that people select partners who offer the greatest benefits at the least cost?profit margincomplimentary needs theoryexchange theoryprinciple of least interestANS: C
36Quick QuizSociobiology:proposes that behavior in selecting mates is reduced to environmental factorsmakes scientific inquiry into the notion that men are attracted to younger women and women are attracted to men with moneydiscredits Charles Darwin's natural selection theorygoes against traditional stereotypes of American cultureANS: B
37Quick QuizIn a comparing couples who have gone through pre-marital counseling versus those who have not, pre-marital counseling has been shown to have which of the following effects on a marriage?either more positive or more negative, depending on the dynamics of the couplenegativepositivenone at allANS: C