2 Create Flee Map Directions: Take out two sheets of lined paper and a notecard. Follow along with me as I demonstrate.
3 PAT the prompt Directions: On the next available page in your notebook, copy the prompt below. Read it carefully. Determine the Purpose, Audience, and Task.Prompt: Discuss the physical and mental impacts of the sinking of the USS Indianapolis.P-A-T-
4 Brainstorm Directions: In the space below the prompt, use a T-Chart or table to brainstorm physical and mental impacts. List as many as you can.Physical ImpactsMental Impacts
5 Organize the Brainstorm Directions: On the next available page in your notebook, draw a tree map with three branches.
6 Organize the Brainstorm Directions: 1. Label each branch with a main topicthese will become your three “prongs”2. Below each topic, list the items from the brainstorm that belong in each paragraph
7 Introduction- Write a Hook Your introduction establishes the direction your writing will take. A well-written introduction grabs your reader's attention and refuses to let go, like a fish on a hook.
8 Introduction- Write a Hook QuotationExample:John F. Kennedy once said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” Today's Americans have forgotten Kennedy's message. We expect our country to take care of us, but we are not taking care of our country.Figurative LanguageTardies have become the pimple on our school’s otherwise clear complexion. (Metaphor)
9 Introduction- Write a Hook DefinitionExample:According to Webster's Dictionary, government is defined as the authority that serves the people and acts on their behalf. The government cannot know what the people want if the people do not vote. If we do not vote, the government may act on its own behalf instead of on the behalf of the people.Statistic/FactEvery year in the United States, deer-car collisions kill more than 200 people.
10 Introduction- Write a Hook Anecdote (a short, relevant story)Example:Yesterday, seven year old Billy Barnes came home at 3:30 and let himself into his house with his key. After fixing himself a snack of five Oreo cookies and a glass of soda, he watched television for two hours. When Billy called his mother at work, she was in a meeting and couldn’t talk to him. Billy represents a growing number of latchkey children who feel neglected, don’t do their homework, and get in trouble when they get older.
11 Introduction- Write a Hook PracticeChoose three strategies you like. Underneath your notes, write three different hook sentences.Which one do you like the best?
12 Introduction- Write a Hook DO NOT WRITE:“In this essay I am going to talk about…”“This essay will be about…”“I am going to tell you about…”“First I will tell you…”QUESTIONS (You will learn to use these effectively as you gain more writing experience. For now, don’t use them.)
13 Introduction- Write the context/background Provide the reader with the information he or she will need to understand your paper.For this essay, you will need 3-5 sentences to cover the background.Who, what, when, where, why, how?
14 Introduction- Write the thesis The thesis must relate back to the prompt.For this essay, it must have THREE “prongs”Use the three branches from your tree map to write a three-prong thesis.
15 Introduction- Example Clouds filled the air, visibility was scarce and it seemed like a typical night to the men aboard the USS Indianapolis. However, that all abruptly changed just past midnight on July 30, 1945 when the Indy was attacked by the Japanese. Torpedoes ripped through the massive battleship causing it to sink in a mere 12 minutes. Countless men were killed, while others were tossed into the ocean where they fought to survive for four long days. As a result of the sinking of the USS Indianapolis, the men suffered numerous physical and mental afflictions including, damage from the sun, trauma from the water, and emotional distress.
16 Introduction- ReviewThe three components of a spectacular introduction are:HookBackground/ContextThesis Statement
17 Body Paragraphs Mapping Inside the body paragraph boxes on your flee map, write the topic of each paragraph.2. On the three lines underneath the boxes, write:ExampleExplanationYour choice (choose an elaboration strategy)*The Elaboration Strategy notes are in your INB*
18 Body Paragraphs Mapping 3. Write a transitional phrase above each box that will help you transition into the next paragraph4. Inside each box, write two quotes that will support your topic.*Example: In the paragraph about the sun, you might choose to focus on hypersensitivity and sunburn, so you will need text evidence for both*
19 Transitions Furthermore For the same reason Moreover Indeed In addition to As noted/mentionedAdditionally ObviouslyBy comparison CertainlyMeanwhile Evidently
20 DEAD WORDS WARM-UPDirections: Make a list of synonyms or replacement words for the list below. List as many as you can for each.SAID:A LOT:THINGS/STUFF:GOOD:COOL:VERY:
21 Conclusion Write a stellar conclusion in THREE steps: REFER to the prompt (do not rewrite it)The men suffered mentally and physically.It is obvious that even the survivors of this tragic event paid a heavy price.
22 Conclusion2. REMIND the reader of the three main topics (do not rewrite your thesis statement)The men mainly suffered from sun exposure, floating in water, and PTSD.Although the sun and water created tremendous difficulties for all of the men, the greatest tragedy is that many of them will suffer from PTSD for the rest of their lives.
23 Conclusion 3. Make CONNECTIONS for the reader Are there any solutions? What is the “big picture?”What can be learned from this?Is there any action that needs to be taken?
24 ConclusionIt is said that a person’s hardships make them stronger. However, it’s also possible for a much larger group of people to be strengthened by the hardships of a few. The men aboard the Indianapolis shall remain icons of courage, strength, and honor and should be remembered for their great sacrifice to their country.*Notice the absence of first and second person*
25 Body ParagraphsNow you will be writing your body paragraphs. This should be easy, since we have already mapped them and selected our text evidence. Just like the introduction and conclusion, the body paragraphs can also be written in three steps.
26 Body Paragraphs *See ACE presentation* Follow along as I demonstrate the use of ACE strategies while writing a body paragraph.Use this as a model for your own paragraphs.
27 A: C: E: Question? What were the physical and mental impacts? While in the water, the men experienced many dangerous conditions including freezing cold temperatures and lack of fresh water supply.For example, in the book Left for Dead, the author explains that “the men submerged in the water were subjected to severely cold temperatures which caused a condition known as hypothermia” (Nelson 76).In other words, the men’s body temperature dropped because they were unable to stay dry. As their temperature dropped, their bodies filled up with excess fluids that caused frequent urination. To make matters worse, this quickly led to dehydration, which was also caused by the lack of fresh water.The text states, “Without fresh water to drink, the survivors experienced unimaginable thirst” (Nelson 77).As a result of this dehydration, the men endured dry throats, cracking lips, and rattling lungs. They desperately needed fresh water and the salty ocean around them mocked their thirst.
28 Body ParagraphsUsing your ACE strategies and my example paragraph as a guide, write your first and third body paragraphs onto notecards.Tape the notecards to your flee map.Double-check your work.
29 Title Notes“Paper #1” or “Left for Dead Essay” or (my personal favorite) “Title” are not interesting titles.The title should help the reader become interested in your essay, not make them want to fall asleep
30 Title The three essentials of a spectacular title: It predicts what the paper will be aboutIf your title is “Shark Attack” does that tell me what the ENTIRE paper will be about?2. It catches the reader’s attentionIf your title is “Ship Sinking” will I feel intrigued and excited to read your paper?3. It reflects the tone of the essay (serious, funny, persuasive, etc.)If your title is “Shark Bait” are you being completely appropriate, considering the subject matter?
31 Title Like ALL writing, this takes time. Your title will not magically appear on your page…Most likely it will not be the FIRST thing that pops into your head…You will need to brainstorm, craft, and revise before you have a title that fits just right.
32 Title PracticeDirections: Write “Practice” in your notes and complete each activity below.1. Copy a sentence from one of your paragraphs that could serve as a title (you can shorten it to a phrase).2. Find a phrase in your essay that appeals to the senses- something the reader can hear, see, taste, smell, or feel.3. Write a one-word title—the word you choose needs to make quite an impression.4. Think of a familiar saying, the title of a song, or a quote that might fit your essay (you can shorten it to a phrase)5. Be creative—your choice!
33 MLA Guidelines A proper MLA paper should: Be typed Be double-spaced Use 12 pt. Times New Roman fontBe set to 1-inch margins on all sidesIndent the first line of paragraphsHave a proper headerHave your last name plus a page number located in the upper right-hand corner (EXCEPT FOR the first page)
34 MLA Guidelines A proper header should include: Your Name Isaiah Thomas Teacher Name Miss BartonClass and Period Language Arts Period 2DUE date (day month year) 25 November 2014*There is an example of MLA formatting in the third section of your notebook – use this as a reference tool**I will also demonstrate how to set up your page – you might want to take some notes!*
35 Revision These notes are in the third section of your notebook: ADD – sentences, words, figurative languageREMOVE – unnecessary words, phrases, or sentences and repetitive statementsMOVE – change the order of your sentence or move a word to a different place in the sentenceSUBSTITUTE – find dead or repetitive words and upgrade them
36 Editing These notes are in the third section of your notebook: CAPITALIZATION – names, places, months, titles, IUSAGE – check subject-verb agreement, maintain the same tensePUNCTUATION– periods, quotes, commas, question marks, parenthesis, etc.SPELLING – check all words for correct spelling
37 EditingMLA Guidelines for Numbers– spell out the number if it is one or two words (two, twenty, ninety-nine, six million)When to write a numeral:If the number is a figure (75°, 4.7 liters, $12.56)If the number is a date (November 12th, 2010, in 1945, from the 1960’s-1970’s)If the number is a time (4:00 A.M. or 5:35 P.M.)If the number is part of an address (213 Park Avenue)If the number is used for identification (We slept in Room 8, the game is one Channel 21, I took Interstate 5)If the number refers to a written work (Chapter 7, Act III, Page 30)If the number represents data (25%, 2.7 average,
38 Editing A few technical reminders: The title of the book AND the name of the ship should both be italicizedLeft for DeadUSS IndianapolisTake out contractions (couldn’t, wasn’t, would’ve)Take out first and second person (I, my, we, us, our, you, your)Take out anything that sounds like an opinionDouble check your parenthetical citations (Nelson 78).
39 HomeworkDUE MONDAY:A TYPED rough draft of your essay, as well as your complete flee map.The English department will no longer be printing essays from our computers/printersMr. Large (room 203) will allow you to print in his room if you come BEFORE 8:30You will need to bring your essay on a flash drive, save it in google docs, it to yourself, etc.If you cannot print AND cannot make it to Mr. Large’s room in time, I will accept a hand-written copy accompanied by a parent note. The copy must still be written in MLA format, in black ink.
40 Peer Edit You will receive a paper to peer edit. Use the Revise and Edit sheet in the back of your notebook to provide feedback for your partner.You will have twenty minutes to do this.*We will not have time to verbally rehearse our essays today, but I STRONGLY ADVISE you to read your paper aloud before printing a final draft*