Presentation on theme: "How To Get Men to Stop Purchasing Commercial Sex The Salvation Army’s National Social Services and Disaster Management Conference Orlando, FL March 25-28."— Presentation transcript:
How To Get Men to Stop Purchasing Commercial Sex The Salvation Army’s National Social Services and Disaster Management Conference Orlando, FL March 25-28 th, 2014 Michael A. Smith, Ph.D., LCSW
The connection between human trafficking and demand Each year more and more victims are entrapped in forms of labor and sex trafficking. Trafficking is a multi-billion dollar business that reaps enormous profits to traffickers with little risk of prosecution. Sex trafficking: Without the insatiable demand for immediate, inexpensive and anonymous sex -primarily by men with female victims- this world wide human rights horror would end. It exists for profits. Domestic sex trafficking: Portland Oregon, has one of the highest rates of domestic sex trafficking in the country. It is estimated more than 200 young girls are forced into prostitution. Who are the johns??
What is the extent of the problem with male involvement in commercial sex? Worldwide a large percentage of men regularly engage in some form of commercial sex. These men are married or in a relationship, single, dads, and sons- from all walks of life and religions. Religion, in itself, does not prevent sexual acting out. For instance, the South and the Midwest, both considered within the Bible belt, have the highest rates of online pornography use. Research suggests that pastors have high rates of pornography addiction.
Men (consumers) Are Victims Too! Most men do not feel good about their involvement with commercial sex and they do not know how to stop. The bulk of them are largely unaware of, or minimize, or deny, the insidious spiritual, relational and emotional damage they inflect on themselves and others. Due to cultural shame and isolation, the significant sexual integrity challenges of men have not been openly discussed, thus effective strategies to reduce demand for commercial sex have yet to be widely developed. What has been tried?? John Schools
John Schools Men who are arrested for the solicitation of a prostituted person can elect to attend a day long educational program on the risks of involvement with commercial sex. Here is the agenda for the John School in Portland OR.
TimeTopicPresenter(s) 8:15-8:45RegisterLWNW 8:45-9:10 Introduction Rules & Expectations Values, Attitude & Behavior LWNW (Kristin) 9:10-10:35 Portland Police Pimping/ trafficking Crimes against women Crimes against purchasers Related crimes & livability Portland Police Bureau PCT Rep’s: Officer Gallagher and Officer Ruppel 10:35-10:50Break 10:50-11:05 Neighborhood Representative Community and Family Impact Neighborhood Representative or Family member 11:05-11:25Healthy RelationshipsLWNW (Kristin) 11:25-12:15 Health Consequences STD Blood borne Pathogens Other health consequences Public Health (TBD) 12:15-1:00Lunch 1:00-1:20Sexual BehaviorLWNW (Kristin) 1:20-2:15 Sexual Assault Resource Center (SARC) Effects on women’s lives Empathy building SARC Representative –Afton 2:15-2:30Break 2:30-3:00Legal Ramifications Multnomah County District Attorney: Kelley 3:00-3:40SAGE Video / SurvivorMelissa or Sage 3:40-4:00Next Steps/ Resources/ Post-testLWNW (Kristin)
Sex abuse One definition of sexual abuse states that sexual abuse is: Any sexual activity or behavior… that results in physical or emotional harm. (www.childsafety.qld.gov.au/practice-manual/appendices/glossary.html)www.childsafety.qld.gov.au/practice-manual/appendices/glossary.html Given this definition, could engaging a sex worker be sexual abuse?
Sexual abuse Many people who suffered sexual abuse develop problems relating to sexual behavior, sexuality, and intimacy. Some may respond by engaging in unhealthy relationships or may become sexually impulsive and have multiple partners.
Sexual assault & rape Rape (forced to submit to sex against his/her will & without permission) Statutory rape (sexual contact with a person who is under the legal age of consent) Sexual battery (Touching a person in a sexual manner without permission) & Certain types of sexual harassment Is it possible to rape / sexually assault a sex worker?
Compulsive sexual behavior Is not a matter of having more sex, but involves: Overpowering sexual compulsions and obsessions A loss of control over sexual behavior Continued sexual behavior despite serious bad consequences, and Distortions in thinking such as what they are doing is wrong.
In conclusion… Unhealthy sexual behavior can lead to compulsions or impulses to repeat the behavior. Such behavior may lead to serious: – Biological problems (Health issues) – Psychological problems (thoughts & feelings) – Social problems (family, friends, and legal) – If there is a possibility that you have a problem, seek help.
Other attempts to reduce commercial sex involvement White Ribbon Campaign EKIP- Men’s group effort to reduce demand Sexual Addiction 12 step support groups Sexual Addiction 12 step therapy Sexual Addiction therapy (Relapse Prevention; cognitive-behavioral, trauma) Pure Desire- Christian psychoeducational group- trauma focused, non-shaming, emphasizes God’s forgiveness, accountability partners
Pilot Study Portland ARC program The purpose of the study was to pilot-test a five week class on the topic of reducing the involvement (demand) by men with commercial sex. Since 2000 TSA has been focused on identifying, rescuing, and providing restorative services to human trafficking victims-the supply side. Other federally funded and faith based agencies have done likewise. There has been little attention to the demand side of the human trafficking equation.
Course Core Christian Assumptions Sex outside of a loving, emotionally and sexually exclusive committed and mutually respectful relationship is inherently spiritually, emotionally, and physically damaging. Sex can not be divorced from our God-given spirituality. Hence, the intent of the course was to raise attendees’ awareness that participation in all forms of commercial sex is damaging.
Why the ARC? There is an empirical connection between other addictions and sex addiction. Treat primary addiction first, then sex addiction, or at the same time. Sex addiction and its attendant circumstances can be viewed as a gateway to relapse of primary addiction (more research needed on this) It was anticipated that men at ARC may be more open to addressing secondary addictions (stages of change theory). Sex addiction impacts their recovery and Christian walk
Course Quest for Sexual Integrity A spiritual approach to commercial sex demand reduction for men
Tasks in MI Problem Identification Without a problem there is not a problem; damages associated with involvement in CS Problem severity If the problem is not serious, why address it; serious and cumulative damages associated with involvement in CS Optimism (hopeful expectation of ability to change and experience positive outcomes); skills/resources, identify barriers Commitment Realistic plan of action-non shaming accountability team and support
Two Different Cultures 23
The Explosion of Internet Pornography July 2003, there were 260 million pages of pornography online—an increase of 1,800 percent since 1998. Today: the number of pornographic pages-420 million Pornographic websites- 4.2 million (12% of total websites) (408% 3 three year growth) Daily pornographic search engine requests- 68 million (25% of total search engine requests) Internet users who view porn-42.7%
Who looks at pornography? Men… Women… Teens and children… 71.61 percent of all online pornography consumers were male and 28.39 percent were female.
US Adult Internet User Demographics Age
Reasons Given for Online Sexual Activity 80.5 percent used online sexual activity (OSA) to distract themselves or take a break, 56.5 percent used OSA to deal with stress, 43.0 percent used OSA to engage in sexual activities they would not do in real life 25.3 percent used OSA to educate themselves, 16.1 percent used OSA to meet people with whom to have offline sexual activities, 11.7 percent used OSA to meet people to date, and 9.1 percent used OSA to get support with sexual matters
Lessons Instilled in Pornography Sexual pleasure/ performance is the most important need/activity in life. In relationships it supersedes communication, common interests, commitment, trust, and mutual respect. The more sex the better. More recently, the more intense and aggressive and dehumanizing the sex the better. Objectification of another person sexually is normalized and even glamorized. Degradation of other person sexually is arousing.
The Brain on Pornography Humans are highly addictive creatures. Deep regions of the primitive brain develop patterns for safety and survival. Males in particular are susceptible to visual stimuli. Responding to sexual stimuli is powerfully rewarded with pleasurable chemicals flooding the brain. Brain scans of men during ejaculation reveal the same activation of pleasure neurons as cocaine and other drugs.
Brain Chemistry Changes Masturbation to pornography is a double neurochemical hit: the rush of watching extreme material and therein forcing rush of orgasm, both of which rapidly consolidate learning—i.e., wiring in the synapses. Novel stimulation makes internet pornography extremely addictive (clicking, searching, shock, surprise). Average time on porn site is 3 hours.
Sexual Addiction Patrick CarnesPatrick Carnes believes that people become addicted to sex in the same way they become addicted to alcohol or drugs. Sexual addiction is a maladaptive pattern of sexual behavior, leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by three (or more) of the following, occurring at any time in the same 12-month period:
The Making of a Sex Addict
Sexual addiction (cont.) Tolerance, as defined by either: a. A need for markedly increased amount or intensity of the sexual behavior to achieve the desired effect or b. Markedly diminished effect with continued involvement in the sexual behavior at the same level of intensity.
Sexual Addiction Although not all consumers of pornography struggle with a sexual addiction, the majority of sexual addictions include pornography consumption to some degree, or did at some point in its etiology. 6% of the adult population are estimated to meet the definition of sexual addiction. It is unknown how many adolescents would meet the definition.
Process Addiction While pornography addiction is as powerful as drug addiction, it is also qualitatively different than chemical addiction in several ways: – Internal; always accessible; hidden – Can not be erased- one always will have the memory of pornography imprinted in their brain; permanently alters brain chemistry. – Deals with a natural instinctual function of life – Free and (mostly) legal
Sexual Compulsion Sexual compulsivity is the loss of ability to choose to stop or continue a sexual behavior it is used to lessen anxiety. Such behavior violates some aspect of his or her personal values and ethics and produces deep shame. The behavior is hidden. 17% of the U.S. adult population is struggling with some variation of sexual compulsion. Sexual compulsions can lead to addiction.
Parallels to Drug Addiction There are strong parallels between the withdrawal symptoms of addicts and the withdrawal symptoms of heavy porn users who try to quit: shakes, severe insomnia, persistent headaches, irritability, extreme cravings, despair, brain fog, desire to isolate.
Negative Cycle Evident parallels between drug use and heavy porn use: cycles of escalation, tolerance, impaired decision- making, altered perception. Overwhelming feelings associated with addiction Dissociate and use avoidance as coping skill Reliance on avoidance strategies fails Sexual acting out returns
Final Comment Pornography and all forms of commercial sex are highly misogynic It is a brutal business that exploits vulnerable persons It traumatizes participants and ruins lives Promotes sexual violence, and crime. No one deserves to be treated as an object. Everyone in porn is someone’s daughter, sister, mother, brother, son, father- born with inherent dignity and worth beyond their sexual identity
Sex Addiction and the Church Ted Roberts, a noted researcher and sex therapist suggests over half of fundamental Christian males struggle with sex addiction.
Studies The Johns: Sex For Sale and the Men Who Buy It, Victor Malarek (2009) Investigates the rational men give for going to a brothel in a foreign country (Thailand)
Lara Janson 2013 This study focuses on the exchange of information among men who post on the USA, Sex Guide in Illinois regarding what they call their “great hobby,” buying sex. 1,500 forum pages on the USA Sex Guide, a popular website for men who buy sex throughout the United States.
Larson on John Schools Johns’ posts about demand deterrence efforts, including law enforcement raids that target all men who buy sex, create energetic discussions among johns about whether to continue buying sex. After the implementation of these efforts, some of the men on the forums stated that they will no longer take the risk of buying sex.
Melisa Farley 2001 Comparing Sex Buyers with Men Who Don’t Buy Sex Compared 101 men who buy sex with 100 men who did not. Structured interviews-men‘s history of using women in prostitution, what they looked for when they bought sex, their evaluations and perceptions of women in prostitution and pimp- prostitute relationships, awareness of coercion and trafficking, likelihood to rape, pornography use, hostile masculine identification, first use of women in prostitution, criminal history, how they discussed prostitution with their friends, deterrents to prostitution, sex education, and others.
Farley The common myth that ―any man might buy sex (i.e., that a sex buyer is a random everyman, an anonymous male who deserves the common name, john) was not supported. Sex buyers shared certain attitudes, life experiences, and behavioral tendencies that distinguish them from their non-buying peers in socially and statistically significant ways
Farley Sex buyers engaged in significantly more criminal activity than non-sex buyers. They were far more likely than non-sex buyers to commit felonies, misdemeanors, crimes related to violence against women, substance abuse-related crimes, assaults, crimes with weapons, and crimes against authority
Farley Sex buyers acknowledged having committed significantly more sexually coercive acts against women (non-prostituting as well as prostituting women) than non-sex buyers.
Farley Sex buyers had significantly less empathy for prostituted women than did non-sex buyers. Sex buyers acknowledged fewer harmful effects of prostitution on the women in it and on the community. Non-sex buyers more often saw prostitution as harmful to both the woman herself and to the community as a whole.
Lack of emotional connection Sex buyers expressed ambivalence, guilt and negative thinking about buying sex. They felt just as many negative feelings after buying sex as they did before. Many sex buyers sought sex that lacked emotional connection. They had little objection if the woman they purchased pretended to like them or actively disliked performing the act of prostitution. Sex buyers repeatedly commented that they liked the power relationship in prostitution and that they liked the freedom from any relationship obligation.
Lack of empathy The knowledge that the women have been exploited, coerced, pimped, or trafficked failed to deter sex buyers from buying sex. Many of the sex buyers had used women who were controlled by pimps at the time they used her for sex. Sex buyers in this study seemed to justify their involvement in the sex industry by stating their belief that women in prostitution are essentially different from non-prostituting women.
Farley Johns who reported to interviewers that they saw, and yet at the same time refused to see, the coercion, fear, disgust, and despair in the women they bought
Farley Both sex buyers and non-sex buyers agreed that the most effective deterrent to buying sex would be to be placed on a registry of sex offenders. Other effective deterrents included public exposure techniques such as having their name or photo publicized on a billboard, newspaper, or the Internet. Spending time in jail was considered an effective deterrent by 80% of sex buyers and 83% of non-sex buyers.
Farley Educational programs were considered the least effective deterrent by both groups of men. This study strengthens proposals that educational programs aimed at sex buyers should be implemented subsequent to sentencing, not in lieu of it.
Attitudes and Justifications for Buying Sex: Fantasy, Power, and Control Overt and underlying assumptions about masculinity, femininity, sexuality, and prostituted women, in particular, inform men’s participation in the commercial sex industry.
Rape Myth 47% of interviewees believed that if a woman participates in any sexual activity then the man has the right to rape her; 32% thought that rape occurs because men have strong sex drives, and 47% believed that men rape women when their sex drive gets out of control; 28% stated that women ask for rape if they dress provocatively; 27% thought that if women were drunk or high and got raped, it was the woman’s fault;
Allen, Emmers, Gebhardt, and Giery 1995 meta-analysis of 24 rape myth acceptance studies between 1980 and 1993 -4,268 participants. Experimental investigations of positively correlated exposure to nonviolent or violent pornography with increased acceptance of rape myths compared to a control group.
Why Men Purchase Sex Compulsion/Addiction The impulse for sex and food are powerful biological ingrained ancient survival responses tied to pleasure centers in the brain. Sexual compulsion and sexual addiction- progressively becomes more uncontrollable and deviant. The guy next door.
Why Do Men Purchase Sex? Personality factors Narcissistic - self-absorbed, self-centered, their needs are prioritized over others; difficulty in genuine concern for others, controlling, use others, fake empathy; sexual behavior is objectified to satisfy their need for attention and gratification Inadequate ego development; poor self-esteem and/or impaired mature development- over sexualized as a coping strategy for deeply ingrained sense of inadequacy, limited self- concept; shame
Why Do Men Purchase Sex? Personality factors Criminal thinking and lifestyles (e.g., rapists, sex offenders, exploitation of others is normalized; other crimes) Pathological (lack of empathy, enjoy power and control, exploitation; hurting of others is sexualized)
Why Do Men Purchase Sex? Situational factors Trauma orientation- intimacy challenged- survivors of emotional, physical and sexual trauma, victim becomes victimizer (e.g., pimp; john), isolated, difficult time trusting, being vulnerable, genuine attachment is compromised, limited positive sexual role models or information; deep shame core. Don’t judge you don’t know their histories.
Why Do Men Purchase Sex Personality factors Conditioned responses-, lack of healthy male sexually respectful role models, lack of accurate information about CS, lack of healthy personal relationship skills or clear sexual integrity values; Opportunistic- uses commercial sex when presented an opportunity; Lack of discipline
Why Men Purchase Sex Situational Factors Culture- over sexualized American culture. Male stereotypes- boys will be boys, sex most important need, male privilege and power over women; Role of women, socioeconomic factors which legitimizes control and exploitation of women as sex objects, availably of pornography; Peer support/ pressure- strip club, use of pornography, commercial sex venues. VIDEO
The Negative Aspects Relationships Finances Self-esteem Spirituality Children Violence
Impact on Sexual Behavior Pornographic sexual relationships are not based in reality; what they read and see about people, relationships, and sex is distorted. Many users begin to seek higher levels of excitement, as current experiences result in a lack of gratification; their tolerance levels change and/or they become satiated to particular activities.
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships Characteristics: (a)investment in the well-being of the beloved, (b) respect, (c) admiration, (d) sexual desire, (e) intimacy, (f) commitment, (g) exclusivity, and (h) understanding. The researchers found that when these characteristics are present in a romantic relationship, people tend to feel fully loved.
Indicators of Healthy and Addictive Sexual Behaviors Healthy Sexual Behavior Mutual consent (free will) Behavior is a want or desire Fulfilling, enhancing, mood stabilizing Personal interchange of emotion Rare negative consequences Enhanced self-worth Sexual behavior is fulfilling, satiating Balanced sexual behavior Addictive Sexual Behavior Coercion, victimization, and Force Behavior is a compulsion for instant gratification Associated with severe mood shifts Impersonal & emotional detachment Negative consequences Negative self-worth, shame, guilt Lack of satiation, tolerance Erratic sexual behaviors (excessive/ anorexic)
Impact of Relationships (1) online sexual pursuits as a predictor of marital distress, separation, and divorce; (2) decreased sexual satisfaction; (3) decreased sexual intimacy; and (4) infidelity.
Impact on Relationships The porn user blames the partner for their sexual problems. The porn user wants the partner to participate in sexual activities that she or he finds objectionable. 18.1% of the relationships surveyed, both partners had decreased interest in sex.
Impact on Relationships Married women are significantly more distressed by a partner’s online pornography consumption than women in dating relationships. Internet pornography consumption is viewed as a threat to the relationship.
American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers Survey 2002 68 % of the divorce cases involved one party meeting a new love interest over the Internet. 56 % of the divorce cases involved one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites. 47 % of the divorce cases involved one party spending excessive time on the computer. 33 % of the divorce cases cited excessive time communicating in chat rooms (a commonly sexualized forum).
Decreased Sexual Interest Two-thirds (68%) of the respondents experienced decreased sexual intimacy with their partner that corresponded with their increase in cyber sexual activity. The user makes excuses to avoid sexual intimacy with the partner (e.g., not in the mood or too tired). The partner feels hurt, angry, sexually rejected, inadequate, and unable to compete with computer images and sexy online women (or men) who are willing to do “anything.”
A Course on Sexual Integrity for Males in Recovery When one decides to live a clean and sober life, such efforts extend to all aspects of one’s life, including sexual behavior. The shame and guilt often associated with compulsive involvement with pornography, commercial sex, or sexual exploitative relationships are common challenges for men in recovery and can lead to relapses, isolation, damage to self and others, and thwarts Christian growth. Yet, most men do not have the support or resources to end such damaging sexual behavior on their own.
Demand Reduction Curriculum What should be included in curriculum? Curriculum Ideas: Educate about the damaging impact of purchasing CS on their lives. Involvement in commercial sex by purchasers is increasingly recognized as contributing to their intimacy and sexual dysfunctions, increase in divorces, high rates of sexual addictions, damage to self esteems, depression and guilt, and other addictions. NO SHAME; reserve judgment; Christian love \
Demand Reduction Core Principles There are universal God-given ethical and moral sexual standards. If we are honest and reflective, we know inherently when we have violated these universal sexual ethics, as evidenced by feelings of shame, guilt, and self loathing. Such feelings fuel sexual adductions/compulsions.
Demand Reduction All faith traditions embrace mutually loving sexual expressions within the context of commitment relationship (e.g., a marital relationship). No faith tradition supports sexual behavior that is exploitive, compulsive, illegal, damaging to one’s self concept or hurtful and degrading to others. No faith tradition supports persons being treated as sexual commodities. All faith endorse the spiritual value of life over the physical being. Our sexuality is one piece of our spiritual nature- not the whole.
Demand Reduction The course identify your spiritual ethics as they relate to involvement in commercial sex activities. Recovery behaviors embrace principles of justice in providing restitution (making amends) for those you have harmed, and integrity, which require one to live fully in accordance with core values of honesty, fairness, openness, and helpful compassion towards others principles.
Demand Reduction What is integrity? The Random House dictionary defines integrity as follows: 1. Adherence to moral and ethical principles; honesty, 2. A sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition. Based on the above definition to be a person of integrity, one must act in alignment with one’s moral and ethical principles. This course also builds on the Christian principles of integrity and justice. Appeal to a sense of fairness and his higher spiritual nature.
Demand Reduction It is up to you to define for yourself what is sexual immorality. What is your line of immorality? Some of you may determine your boundary is not viewing any soft or hard core pornography. Others may decide they will not allow the habit of sexual fantasying when they see an attractive woman (as this leads to compulsive impulses to act out sexually). Your sexual boundary line is between you and your God.
Demand Reduction Curriculum Address motivations for engaging in CS. Examine myths on prostitution and work to change attitudes E.g. – paying for sex is Inevitable, normal, necessary, – provides a means of support to vulnerable and poor women – If I don’t buy them, someone else will – Male privilege and entitlement – Prostituted persons are hyper sexual, drug addicted
Demand Reduction Curriculum Action Plan Educate about sexual addiction and stages of denial and relapse prevention (create plans) Teach non-exploitive relationship skills Teach healthy sexuality & how to get their needs met other than CS Teach how to develop and maintain sexual integrity as an integral piece of their spiritual recovery. Build sexual accountability support systems that change dominant male privilege attitudes
Demand Reduction Curriculum Educate about damaging and exploitive impact on victims (involve survivors). Empathy building Track outcomes
Sexual Integrity Class one- Introduction and Purpose The SEX culture Those maps in our heads Points of reference Integrity in our sexuality Rules of participation
Sexual Integrity Class two: Value Clarification Ethics- personal, community, worldwide, universal laws? Boundaries What merry-go-round am I on? Consequences
Sexual Integrity Class Three- Commercial Sex Who are the victims? From yin to yang; why do we consume The power and control of sexual addictions False assumptions and myths My part in the puzzle
Sexual Integrity Class four: Breaking the grip; Choice Theory Why change How do I stop (Stop It) Replacing behaviors: Roads traveled vs Roads on Wrong thinking patterns: Shame, hiding, isolation, etc. Trauma
Sexual Integrity Class Five- Accountability: Road to Sanity Why is this important? Transparency & Honesty Take-a-ways from the class What is my plan Accountability
Evaluations (Ratings)1-strongly disagree to 5 strongly agree 1.The class helped me to better understand the impact of participation in commercial sex on my recovery. (3.4) 2.The class helped me to clarity my personal values as they relate to participation in commercial sex. 3.6 3.The class changed my attitudes towards involvement in any form of commercial sex. 3.6
Evaluations 4. The class had little impact on me personally and my sexual behavior in the future. 3.72 5. Given few opportunities for me to honestly discuss sexual values, this class was an important addition to my ARC recovery work. 6. The class instructor engaged us in meaningful discussions. 4.3 7. I would recommend this class to others in recovery. 4
Comments What I liked most about the class: Everything; laughter at among the group; We had a good time, some of the curriculum- not all; the laughter we engaged in; There were good topics brought up; It was funny to hear others responses; the understanding of what sexual integrity is all about and the dangers of commercial sex; the instructor’s honesty and forwardness; being honest and open; sharing of information; it’s over.
Comments Ways to improve the class: Nothing, it was great Talking more about moral values in relationships and not so much about the porn industry or commercial sex; movies, more spirituality; having a group of men who choose to be in it- I believe it would help them; screening for those who qualify with volunteer information; to help themselves, not be forced into it this class; a pre-questionnaire to have people in the class who really need it; practical; more participation, I would personally recommend that the book, “Every Man’s Battle” be part of the curriculum; screen the participants before they take the class to make sure the curriculum would apply to them.
Final Comments Thanks for the time and effort Thank you Good job The class has been helpful Teacher was a great guy that believed in the topic of discussion
Lessons learned Don’t call it a Demand Reduction Course Pre-screen; do an informational session, men apply to be enrolled in the class, More focus on healthy relationships More focus on connection to spirituality Commercial sex victim speak to the class More an accountability plans Intro to a longer more in-depth course