Presentation on theme: "Genderlect Styles of Deborah Tannen"— Presentation transcript:
1 Genderlect Styles of Deborah Tannen In Em Griffin’sA First Look at Communication TheoryThird Edition,Chapter 34
2 CLICKER QUESTION #1 (A.)TRUE OR (B.)FALSE Tannen believes that all men speak in a male style and all women speak in a female style.
3 CLICKER QUESTION # 2According to Tannen, men and women ask questions for exactly the same reasons.A = TRUEB = FALSE
4 QUESTION #3: Report Talk Report talk refers to the female style of informing people.A = TRUEB = FALSE
5 “Male-female conversation is cross-cultural communication.” (p. 447) Female and male styles of conversation are equally validMen are not trying to dominate womenWomen are not trying to manipulate menThere are feminine and masculine styles of discourse--like 2 cultural dialects
7 Sally Albright: Why not? Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.Sally Albright: Why not?Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - isthat men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.Harry Burns: No you don't.Sally Albright: Yes I do.
8 Harry Burns: No you don't. Sally Albright: Yes I do.Harry Burns: You only think you do.Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.Sally Albright: They do not!
9 Sally Albright: They do not. Sally Albright: How do you know? Harry Burns: Do too.Sally Albright: They do not.Sally Albright: How do you know?Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
10 Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU? Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship isultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.Harry Burns: I guess not.Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
11 When Harry Met Sally Vs. Two individuals quarreling about sex What sex means to the parties involvedVs.Harry might regard Sally as a resident of Mr. Rogers’ NeighborhoodSally might see Harry as coming from the Planet of the Apes or Animal HouseSally wants intimacyHarry wants independence
12 Feminine Focus/Masculine Focus According to Tannen women seek human connectionmen are concerned mainly with statusboys & men are working hard to preserve their independencegirls and women feel it is crucial to be liked by their peersVs.men are jockeying for position on a hierarchy of competitive accomplishmentsymmetrical connectionsasymmetrical status
14 Report Talk vs. Rapport Talk MALEFEMALEPublic SpeakingPrivate SpeakingVs.Telling a storyTelling a storyListeningListeningAsking Questions= Meaning 2Asking Questions = Meaning 1Conflict=Meaning 2Conflict= Meaning 1
15 Private Speaking [Tannen finds that]“. . . women talk more than men in private conversations ” (p. 451)“. . . Sally’s rapport style of relating doesn’t transfer well to the public arena where men vie for ascendancy and speak much more than women.” (p. 451)
16 LISTENING“Whereas women’s cooperative overlaps frequently annoy men by seeming to co-opt their topic, men frequently annoy women by usurping or switching the topic.”9 (p. 452)
17 Public Speaking“Harry’s lecture style is typical of the way men seek to establish a ‘one up’ position.” (p. 451)“Men’s monologue style of communication is appropriate for report, but not for rapport.” (p. 451)
18 Telling a Story“Men’s humorous stories have a can-you-top-this? Flavor that serves to hold attention and elevate the storyteller above his audience.”452)“On the other hand, women tend to express their desire for community by telling stories about others. On rarer occasions when a woman is a character in her own narrative, she usually describes herself as something foolish rather than acting in a clever manner.” (p. 452)
19 LISTENING“ Woman listening to a story or explanation tends to hold eye contact, to offer head nods, and to react with ‘yeah, uh-huh, mnnn, right” or other responses that indicate ‘I’m listening’ or ‘I’m with you.’” (p. 452)“When a woman who is listening starts to speak before the other person is finished, she usually does so to add a word of agreement, to show support, or to finish a sentence with what she thinks the speaker will say. Tannen labels this ‘cooperative overlap.’ ” (p. 452)
20 Women Asking Questions To establish a connectionTo soften the sting of potential disagreementFor information in a way that validates the other’s expertise
21 Men Asking QuestionsAsking a question whittles away at the image of self-sufficiencyMen ask questions of the expert to engage in verbal sparingPublic face is important to men
22 Men & ConflictSince life is a contest, men are more comfortable with conflict than are womenMen are less likely to hold themselves in checkMen have an early warning system that detects signs that they are being told what to do
23 Women & Conflict in a 2-couple setting p. 453 Conflict is a threat to connectionTo be avoided