Presentation on theme: "HABITS –Knowledge –Skill –Desire CHARACTER PARADIGMS –Paradigms of Self –Paradigms of Others –Paradigm Shifts Often caused by crisis Experience most."— Presentation transcript:
HABITS –Knowledge –Skill –Desire CHARACTER
PARADIGMS –Paradigms of Self –Paradigms of Others –Paradigm Shifts Often caused by crisis Experience most easily when we are open-minded and willing to risk We affect other people through the paradigms we hold of them Our paradigms may cause problems we blame on others “If you’ll look closely, you’ll find that most of your problems (with relationships, self-image, attitude) are the result of a messed-up paradigm or two.”
THE MATURITY CONTINUUM –Dependence –Independence –Interdependence
DEPENDENCE INDEPENDENCE Private Victory Be Proactive 1 3 Put First Things First 3 2 Begin with the end in mind 2 Think Win-Win 4 Public Victory Seek first to understand then to be understood 5 Synergize 6 Sharpen the Saw 7 INTERDEPENDENCE
At the Center –What is your center?
PRINCIPLE CENTERED Honesty, service, love, hard work, respect, gratitude, moderation, fairness, integrity, loyalty responsibility No consistent sense of direction: security, guidance, wisdom, power What does it mean to be principle centered? What is the problem with fluctuating from center to center?
PRINCIPLE CENTERED PRINCIPLES parent stuff friend money sports hobbies self boyfriend girlfriend work school
Advantages to Being Principle-Centered 1) Stand apart from the emotion of the situation 2) Stand apart from factors that would act on you 3) Evaluate the options instead (look at the balanced whole) 4) Not being acted upon (by other people or circumstances) You proactively determine best alternative Make decision consciously and knowledgeably 5) Know decision is most effective because based on principles with predictable long-term results 6) Your choice contributes to your ultimate values in life 7) Because you are independent you can be effectively interdependent
Inside Out Starting With The Person In The Mirror Private Victories vs. Public Victories DEPENDENCE INDEPENDENCE Private Victory Be Proactive 1 3 Put First Things First 3 2 Begin with the end in mind 2 Think Win-Win 4 Public Victory Seek first to understand then to be understood 5 Synergize 6 Sharpen the Saw 7 INTERDEPENDENCE
CHARACTER ETHIC What does it teach/What is it based on? PERSONALITY ETHIC What is it based on?
Primary & Secondary Greatness Personality vs. Character
“The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”
What Makes Us Tick? Idea: People highly formed at birth Hippocrates (370BC) Galen (190AD) Idea: People born without predispositions Pavlov (Early 20 th century) Idea: People have single, basic motive Freud (Turn of century) Idea: People different in essential ways Jung (1920) Myers & Briggs (1962)
Extraversion vs. Introversion Where do you prefer to focus your attention? Extraversion –Social –Wide expanse, freedom from narrow concentration –External –Interaction –Multiplicity of relationships –Expenditure of energy –Interest in external happenings Introversion –Territorial –Finds the notion of depth attractive –Internal –Concentration –Limited relationships –Conservation of energy –Interest in internal reactions
Sensing vs. Intuition How do you acquire information? Sensing −Use senses −Realistic & Practical −Facts −Experience Intuition −Big Picture −Imagination & Inspiration −Innovative −Future −Lives in anticipation
Thinking vs. Feeling How do you make decisions? Thinking −Objective/Analyze −Choices based on logic −Argumentation −Impersonal basis of choice Feeling −Person-Centered Values −Choices based on personal impact −Persuasive −Personal basis of choice
Judging vs. Perceiving How do you orient toward the outer world? Judging −Structured/Organized −Work Ethic −Make decisions/closure −Outcome oriented Perceiving −Flexible/Spontaneous −Gather information −Keep options open −Process oriented Do you prefer closure and the settling of things or do you prefer to keep options open and fluid?
The Social Mirror What is it? What’s the problem with it?
Determinism Genetic Determinism –Your grandparents did it to you Psychic Determinism –Your parents did it to you Environmental Determinism –Your environment is doing it to you STIMULUSRESPONSE WHAT CAN HAPPEN BETWEEN STIMULUS & RESPONSE?
PROACTIVE vs. REACTIVE Reactive –defined Proactive –defined –based on “No one can hurt you without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt “They cannot take away our self- respect if we don’t give it to them.” -Gandhi
FREEDOM TO CHOOSE Independent Will ConscienceImagination Self Awareness RESPONSE STIMULUS
There’s nothing I can do, that’s just the way I am He makes me so mad I have to / I can’t / I must Let’s look at our alternatives, I can choose a different approach I can control my own feelings I choose / I prefer / I will
1)Direct Control problems involving our own behavior problems solved by working on habits 1,2,3 2)Indirect Control problems involving other people’s behavior problems solved by changing our method of influence (habits 4,5,6) 3)No Control Problems we can do nothing about (ie our past) problems solved by changing the line on the bottom of our face (genuinely accept these problems and learn to live with them)
I’ll be happy when I have my house paid off If only I had a teacher that wasn’t so demanding If only I had my high school diploma and could get out of this place If I could just have more time to get this done Be different Be more resourceful Be more diligent Be more creative Be more cooperative
Take Initiative to make it happen Think about solutions and options Act Wait for something to happen to them Think about problems and barriers Are acted upon
1. Take responsibility for your life 2. Have a “can-do” attitude Elaine Maxwell
Chapter One I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost…I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It Takes forever to find a way out. Chapter Two I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But, it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.. Chapter Three I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately Chapter Four I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. Chapter Five I walk down another street. By Portia Nelson
Reflection Questions 1.What things are wrong right now and what can you proactively do about them? 2.What new possibilities will graduating from Cathedral and moving onto something else bring you? (use your imagination) 3.In what areas of your life do you need to have a “can do” attitude 4.In what areas of your life do you need to take more responsibility? What can you proactively do to become more responsible in these areas? 5.Name 3 examples of where you should have hit the pause button this week, and why you should have hit it.
Based On Imagination
–To start with a clear understanding of your destination –All things are created twice First Creation Second Creation
MENTAL Measure Twice Cut Once
College Marriage Children Graduate from CHS Graduate from College Career Bad Choice ????? Party Animal
Mission Statements: –A philosophy or creed –Gives expression to: What you want to be (character) What you want to do (contributions and achievements) –Includes the expression of your vision and values –Becomes the criterion by which you measure everything else in your life
The Five Keys To Goal Setting 1.Count the Cost 2.Put It In Pen 3.Just Do It 4.Use Momentous Moments 5.Rope Up
Based on Independent Will and Conscience
Habit 3 – is the personal fruit of… Habits 1 and 2 Habit 1 = you are the creator, you are in charge Habit 2 = the first creation (mental creation) Habit 3 = the second creation (physical creation)
You can’t become principle-centered without: –Awareness –Understanding –Vision and focus
Self-Management Independent Will Discipline
UrgentNot Urgent Important QUADRANT I crises, pressing problems, deadline- driven projects QUADRANT II prevention, PC activities, relationship building, recognizing new opportunities, planning, recreation Not important QUADRANT III interruptions, some calls, some mail, some reports, some meetings, popular activities QUADRANT IV trivia, busy work, some mail, some phone calls time wasters, pleasant activities
Exam tomorrow Late for school Project due today Flat tire
Unimportant phone calls Interruptions Other people’s small problems Peer pressure
Too much TV Endless phone calls Time wasters Parked on the couch
Planning Goal setting Essay due in a week Relationships Relaxation
Identify Big Rocks Block Out Time Schedule Misc.
Identify your biggest time wasters Identify your biggest goals for the next five months Identify a fear that is holding you back from accomplishing any or all of your goals How much impact does peer pressure have on you