Background: A strong Bible-believing church The Bible has the answers. 2 Cor. 5:17 “He is a new creature…” Witnessing emotional problems in the church. Bible College and Four College degrees 25 years of professional experience. Frustration: Nothing was effective with people with abuse histories, traumas, grief, and intense anger, and it was very difficult to help couples.
Seminar by a Pastoral Counselor Initial skepticism led to Excitement Amazement: People were being set free in ways that I thought were impossible, through prayer! No Advice-giving or sharing my insights I am going to share a portion of what I learned, but this could be life-changing! Every believer needs to know this to experience God’s peace!
I had given it my best for 25 years and I fell short. I knew that I was incapable of causing the kind of changes I was seeing. This change was coming from the Lord. Gave up my job as the Director of CCUSO to begin private practice so I could use this exciting new prayer-based approach full- time. Like finding the cure for cancer! This was revolutionary in my life and in my practice and could revolutionize churches!
17-year-old boy lost his best friend and was seen three weeks afterwards. Belief: “You can never really overcome grief. It just lessens with time.” Belief: “Grieving people need several months to grieve, as a minimum.”
Immediate termination of the emotional pain. Inability to stir up the pain afterwards. Slept well the following night. Ability to talk about the loss and remember the lost person without any emotional pain. Long-term peace and resolution. Complete peace regarding the loss (100%).
1. Be completely honest with God about the reasons for your feelings by making a list of what you miss about the deceased. 2. Give your feelings to the Lord by saying a simple prayer and asking Him to carry your grief for you.
This was just the beginning; I have seen hundreds of similar cases since then. It works not only for those who have recently lost someone but for those who lost someone many years earlier. It is not just the immature who need help with this, but spiritually mature believers.
An elderly Christian woman lost her son/pastor six weeks earlier. She had prayed fervently and still felt such pain that she finally sought help. After praying she felt peace and calm, but had some sadness for her daughter-in-law and her children. She left with a smile and saying, “He can do anything!”
She disliked Christmas and had not celebrated it for 16 years. Her mother was her best friend and died on Christmas. She went out and bought a Christmas tree. She said she had her life back and her husband was happy to have his wife back. A month later she wouldn’t let her husband take down the Christmas lights.
Her husband died recently, leaving her with two young children to raise on her own. She was handling things well but still had some sadness and crying spells… I told her what to do… She said she wrote out her list and then prayed, and was crying…..her crying stopped suddenly. She said “it was like turning off a faucet.”
GRIEF IS NORMAL Symptoms may include deep sadness, intense longings, sleep difficulties, moodiness, depression, feeling like you are going crazy... Grief is not considered a psychological disorder but can lead to depression, behavior problems, etc… Intense feelings will typically last for 6-12 months.
GRIEF CAN BE DEEPLY PAINFUL. Mother-in-law “A tornado inside” “He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled” (John 11:33) David: wept inconsolably (2 Sam. 19:4) Joseph: wept over his father and kissed him and the Egyptians “wept for him seventy days”. Young couple lost their infant child.
GRIEF CAN RESULT FROM FOUR KINDS OF LOSSES 1.Loss of Life 2.Loss of Health 3.Loss of Job 4.Loss of Relationships/ Divorce
GRIEF CAN BECOME DEBILITATING. Complicated Grief: Intense and persistent longings for the deceased, intrusive and troubling thoughts regarding the death, a sense of inner emptiness and hopelessness about the future, trouble accepting the reality of the loss, daily struggles for more than 6 months. 15% of those who experience a loss will develop Complicated Grief/Traumatic Grief/Prolonged Grief. Illustration: Man whose 36-year-old daughter died.
THE LORD DOES NOT WANT US TO REMAIN IN GRIEF. “Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning.” Psalms 30:5 “That you may not grieve as those who have no hope.” 1 Thessalonians 4:13 “You will grieve, but your grief will be turned into joy. Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain…but when she gives birth to a child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born.” John 16:20
JESUS UNDERSTANDS OUR GRIEF & WANTS TO REPLACE IT WITH PEACE “Surely He has borne our griefs.” Isaiah 53:4 “Jesus wept.” John 11:35 “We do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses.” Hebrews 4:15 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy- laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 “Peace in all circumstances.” 2 Thess. 3:16
“You can never really overcome grief; it will just lessen with time.” “You need to go through the five stages of grief” (Kubler-Ross) “You need to work through the four tasks of grieving.” “If it lasts more than six months you should see a professional.” Recently I sat in a meeting with mental health professionals…
2003 Report on Bereavement & Grief Research 23 of the top researchers in the field concluded: “For participants experiencing uncomplicated bereavement [normal grief], there was essentially no measurable positive effect on any variable and nearly one in two clients suffered as a result of treatment.” Normal Grief vs. Complicated, Traumatic, or Prolonged Grief.
Grief Therapy: Evidence of Efficacy and Emerging Directions, by Robert Neimeyer and Joseph Currier (Current Directions in Psychological Science, Vol. 18, No. 6, Dec. 2009, p. 352-365). Meta-analysis of 61 outcome studies, making it the most comprehensive summary of research. “Consistent with the majority of smaller-scale reviews, our test of overall effectiveness failed to yield an overly encouraging picture of grief therapies.”
A “break-through” treatment approach was reported by researchers in 2005. The technique involves 16 weeks of therapy involving repeated recall of painful memories. 25% of the participants dropped out. About half of the remaining 75% reported feeling “much better” after 16 weeks of treatment (37%).” In contrast, I am seeing clients with complicated and normal grief being released from their pain after a single session usually.
You have the ability to help people in a way that no doctor or professional counselor can! This is very easy to learn; it is easier than learning to share the gospel. Most pastors do not have time to counsel people extensively. Every believer has the Holy Spirit and the privilege of prayer and can help those with unresolved grief.
Focus: Grief and anger. Every believer needs to know how to deal with grief. Everyone faces death and loss and grief robs many believers of joy and peace. Every church needs to teach their members how to deal with grief so that their message is relevant to their daily needs. Churches must teach these principles regularly so that believers can experience the reality of God’s peace and joy.
“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” “Troubled” means “agitated.” When our hearts are full of grief, anger, sadness, or shame we are not experiencing God’s peace.
“Now may the Lord of Peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance.”
Why spend four hours in a seminar about grief? It is pervasive, inevitable, and has profound impact. 2.5 million die in the U.S.A. yearly and estimates suggest that each death affects an average of 5 people, leaving 12.5 million affected by grief/year. It dramatically affects many people and leads to depression, anger, substance abuse, and marital problems and does not respond to medications or to traditional forms of psychotherapy.
Have you ever lost someone important to you that left deep pain and sadness inside you? Can you still feel this pain today? Have you been told that you will always have this pain and it will never completely go away? It leads to feelings of deep sadness and hopelessness, and leads many believers to doubt God’s word and seek refuge in medications.
Grief plays a significant role in the development of many mental health problems: 1. Adolescent Behavior Disorders 2. Substance Abuse 3. Depression 4. Anger and Marital Problems
Grief and anger destroy marriages. Grief and anger lead to substance abuse. Unresolved grief leads to depression. Our churches are filled with people full of anger and unresolved grief and who take medications to control their emotions. God has equipped you and me to help people with these problems in a way that mental health professionals cannot.
“Conduct Disorder”: Disruptive, disorderly behavior involving behaviors that would be criminal if the child was an adult. “The most serious adolescent psychiatric problem” affecting 9.5 % of children. I was shocked to discover that about 60-70% of cases of conduct disorders are caused by unresolved grief. 17-year-old boy who began skipping school, using drugs, and getting drunk.
“Genes, Environment & Psychopathology” written by Kenneth S. Kendler and Carol A. Prescott. The Virginia Twin Study: 2006 Virginia Adult Twin Study of Psychiatric and Substance Use Disorders (VATSPSUD) included 9,000 twins. Environmental factors such as parental death contributes significantly to the development of Conduct Disorders. Parental divorce is more damaging to the mental stability of adolescents and contributes heavily to the development of mood & anxiety disorders and drug abuse.
Virginia Twin Study found that 13% of people report abusing alcohol and 8% report abusing drugs at some time in their lifetime (21% total). When I worked in a substance abuse program I collected data for a year and found that 68% of those admitted into the program had a history of traumatic loss that pre-dated their substance abuse. One man in his 40s began drinking at age 17 after his father died from cirrhosis of the liver.
Depression: the No. 1 disorder in adults with approximately 20% of females and 13% of males reporting a depressive episode at some time in their life. “Bereavement-related Depression” 50-year-old woman with depression after the loss of her mother, referred by a counselor. 55-year-old woman with bereavement-related depression who was unemployed.
Perhaps you’ve heard that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance; that’s what the pharmaceutical industry wants us to believe. “Stressful Life Events” cause depression, not chemical imbalances or brain disorders. Virginia Twin Study revealed that 87.4% of all depression is caused by “Stressful Life Events” involving loss of a loved one, job, health, or other relationships. Only 12.6% of all depressive episodes were not “apparently” precipitated by some type of loss. Endogenous depression vs. Reactive Depression
“The road to understanding depression runs through bereavement.” Jonathan Rottenberg, Ph.D. (Psychology Today, 2010). Bereavement-related depression can only be treated by healing the grief. Believers who know this can help those with depression by helping them with their grief. Try to help them with their grief, if they are receptive, and refer them if they are not.
Data collected from the same mental health clinic revealed that 51% of the clients had unresolved grief that contributed to their mental health issues. This is a conservative figure because many people do not recognize their unresolved grief because they suppress it. Unresolved grief leads to many mental health problems & the world has no real solution.
National Co-morbidity Study: A $20-million study of U.S. adults estimated that 48% of all Americans will experience some form of mental illness in their lifetime and ¾ of them will do so by age 24, using their broad definition of “mental disorders.” The solution recommended for these disorders is early screening and “treatment” (medication). Some believe that the purpose of the study was to market psychiatric drugs for the pharmaceutical industry.
Thomas Insel, M.D. was disappointed to learn from the study that about 1/3 of people rely solely on nonprofessional sources and spiritual advisers. “You wouldn’t rely on your priest for treatment if you had breast cancer. Why would you go to your priest for a major depressive disorder? These are real medical and brain disorders, and they need to be treated that way.”
Author of “Medication Madness” and “Brain- Disabling Treatments in Psychiatry” (2008). He says that many psychiatric medications cause brain injury, depression, suicidality, hallucinations, delusions, panic attacks and severe mania. He recommends that doctors never use these drugs. He cites research that indicates that antidepressants do not work any better than placebos and often cause depression and other serious problems. Illustration: Woman with anxieties who took Lorazepam and became delusional.
Psychiatric drugs correct chemical imbalances. Psychiatric drugs don’t damage the brain. Psychiatric drugs in small doses are harmless. Psychiatric drugs are needed to prevent suicide. Psychiatric disorders are diseases like diabetes. “You’ll have to take them the rest of your life.” Your psychiatrist is a brain expert. Your doctor knows what’s best for you.
Pastor became deeply depressed after his wife committed suicide. His doctor medicated him and it did not help. He was placed in a psychiatric hospital and given shock treatments (these treatments are now known to cause permanent brain damage). He responded to prayer-based sessions and after a series of sessions he reported no depression.
Mark 5:24-34 She had this condition for 12 years. She spent all that she had on treatment. She was not helped at all. She had grown worse. Man’s way is slow, partial, and temporary but God’s way is immediate, complete, & permanent. God wants to use the church to set people free and to bring glory to His name.
Elisha and the Healing of Naaman – 2 Kings 5:1-14 “Then his servants came near and spoke to him and said, ‘My father, had the prophet told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much more then, when he says to you, ‘Wash, and be clean’?” Woman whose husband died three months earlier and left her with two grandchildren. She said later, “I didn’t really think it would work because it was so simple.”
Young woman whose friend died while she held her hand. The woman who died was terrified and uncertain of her salvation. It was a traumatic experience. She left behind a husband with two small children. We focused first on her grief and prayed. The grief was resolved but she still had sadness. After the sadness was gone, she felt peace. A year later she confirmed that she still had peace.
Get them to talk about the loss and ask them how they feel. Ask how often they think about the deceased. Observe their reactions closely and watch for evidence of emotions. Ask the person to rate their feelings on a 10- point scale. Test: If they can talk about the person and think about them without any negative emotions, then it is resolved.
Normalize their grief: Tell them it is normal. Assess their willingness: Ask if they’d want to get rid of those feelings if they could (See John 5:6). Instill hope: Share personal experiences or give examples of how others have found healing of their grief. Challenge the myths they believe. Explain the process to reduce anxiety. Offer to pray with them in order to find peace.
Lead them in a prayer in which they do two things: 1) They must make a list and be completely honest with God about their feelings, telling Him what they miss about the deceased. 2) They must give their feelings to God and ask Him to carry them.
“Lord, when I think about ____________ it makes me sad and I miss them very much. It makes sad when I remember __________. But Lord, I’m tired of feeling this grief and sadness and so I ask you now to take this grief and sadness from me and to carry it for me. I give it to you now and ask you to please take it from me and replace it with your peace. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen”
Tell them you are going to say a brief prayer for them. The prayer allows them time to be quiet and listen to the Lord. Sample Prayer: “Lord, I pray that you will, indeed, take her feelings of grief and loss right now and carry them for her, and replace them with your peace. And I ask if there is anything that you want her to know right now.” Tell her to be quiet and report to you any thoughts that come into her mind. Use your discernment to determine if the Lord speaks to her.
Ask them how they feel now and to rate their grief on a 10-point scale. If they report no grief, ask them to try to stir up the feelings they had by thinking about their loved one. If they still have some grief, ask them to identify where it is coming from and pray again if there was some aspect of their loss that they failed to mention the first time. Listen closely for other feelings like sadness.
“Casting all your cares upon Him, for He careth for you” (1 Peter 5:7). “Cast thy burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you” (Psalms 55:22). This simple principle is very effective for dealing with truth-based/ fact-based feelings including Grief, Sadness, Disappointment, and Legitimate Anger.
Other emotions commonly connected to grief: Sadness, Anger, and Shame. Dealing with the sadness of the young lady. Grief, Sadness and Anger are Fact-based emotions that can be dealt with in the same way. Pray about one emotion at a time until they are all resolved. Shame is a belief-based emotion that we will look at which is sometimes connected to grief.
Sadness: A feeling of compassion and empathy for individuals who suffer or who experience very difficult circumstances. Jesus Experienced Sadness: He wept over Jerusalem as He approached the city and thought about its coming destruction. Examples: Seeing a young person die, losing a child, a child losing a parent, violent death, slow painful death, never knowing parents…
Anger: Anger is very common in divorce. Grief: Divorce is a loss of dreams and loss of a relationship. Shame: Divorcee often blames him/herself and feels like a failure. Sadness: It is sad when a child loses a parent.
Fact-based Emotions: Grief, sadness, legitimate anger, disappointment & guilt Jesus felt these emotions (except guilt) Emotions that are based upon factual events and not upon misinterpretations and distortions. Cognitive Therapy does not recognize this distinction between fact-based emotions and belief-base emotions. But the example of Jesus proves that some emotions are fact-based.
Grief: Isaiah 53:3-4 “He was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” John 11:33 “Jesus wept.” Anger: Mark 3:5 “Looking around at them with anger…He said to the man ‘stretch out your hand.’” Sadness: Luke 13:34 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem…” Luke 19:41 “When he approached, He saw the city and wept over it.” Disappointment: Mark 16:14 “He reproached them for their unbelief and hardness of heart.”
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Legitimate anger is one of the fact-based emotions. Anger can be removed by using Peter’s Principle of giving the emotions to God. When there is both grief and anger from loss of a loved one, the anger can be dealt with directly. Sometimes anger is rooted in past experiences so you must pray for the Lord to take the person to its source and origin. 17-year-old boy abandoned by mother.
Middle-aged man who lost his job 5 years earlier. He attended a Baptist church and taught a Sunday School class. He said that he needed to get rid of his resentment and anger. Others had told him to give it to God. He was so excited afterwards that he immediately began telling others what had just happened.
“Be angry and yet do not sin; do not let sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.” Ephesians 4:26 Anger is not wrong most of the time. It is a normal response usually, and can be “ righteous” as when Jesus became angry.Mark 3:5 Two Cautions: Do not sin and do not let the sun go down on your anger.
1. Affirm their right to be angry: “You have a right to be angry. If I was in your place I’d be angry too.” 2. Validate their anger as okay: “There is nothing wrong with being angry. It is a normal reaction to wrong things that happen.” 3. Warn them about the dangers of remaining angry: “The Bible says “Be angry and yet do not sin; and do not let the sun go down on your anger.” 4. Ask them “if you could get rid of your anger would you want to?” If they want to release it, tell them you can show them how to do it.
There is a reason why they want to hold onto it. They believe the lie that they must hold onto it to avoid being hurt again, or it is their job to hold the person responsible. Ask them if they would be willing to ask the Lord about that belief. If they ARE willing, pray for them, “Lord, is that true that Joe needs to hold this person responsible, or that Sue will be hurt again if she releases her anger?”
1. Identify the original source of the anger. 2. Be completely honest with God about the reasons for your anger by making a list of your resentments toward a specific person. 3. Give your resentments to God and ask Him to carry them for you.
There is no such a thing as an “angry person” or someone whose anger is part of their personality. Anger is rooted in past abuse, trauma, or loss. Ask the person when was the first time that they can remember being angry. Ask the person if they would like to get rid of their anger if that were possible. If they give permission and say they are willing, pray and ask the Lord to take them to the source and origin of their anger.
All couples get angry at times but overreactions lead to marital problems. Overreactions by both partners lead to an escalation of conflicts. Overreactions are caused by unresolved past experiences that are triggered off by the present conflict. Once the individuals resolve their own past issues, they are able to get along and communicate well.
1.Missed Details. Important memories, losses or resentments were omitted. 2.Additional Emotions. When grief is removed there may still be anger, sadness or shame. 3.Previous Losses or Anger Ask about previous losses or pray and ask the Lord to take them to the source and origin.
Elijah challenged the prophets of Baal on Mt. Carmel – 1 Kings 18:21-39. “Then the fire of the Lord fell, and consumed the burnt offering and the wood and the stones and the dust, and licked up the water that was in the trench. And when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces; and they said, “The Lord, He is God; the Lord, He is God.” 1 Kings 18:38-39
Helplessness: I am powerless, weak, and unable to do anything. Hopelessness: There is no way out of this, it will never change, it will never end, I am trapped. Hurt: I am unacceptable, unloved, unwanted, or I do not measure up. Aloneness: I’m all alone, unprotected, abandoned. Fear: Something terrible is going to happen. Shame: It is my fault, I failed, I’m a bad person.
James 1:5 = Principle No. 2 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” Wisdom: “Insight into the true nature of things” (W.E. Vine, The Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words) Pray for God to bring Truth to them; ask Him what He wants them to know.
17-year-old boy whose cousin died. Asked if he had ever felt this way before. He lived with his grandmother awhile and loved her. When his father was released from prison he went to live with him. His grandmother died and his family blamed him. I prayed: “Lord, is that true that it was Richard’s fault that his grandmother died. What do you want him to know about that?”
Unbelievers: Explain how to be forgiven for all their sins through Jesus (John 3:16). Believers: Explain 1John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Secular counselors have no way to help people find release from feelings of guilt.
A sincere, new believer was reading his Bible every day and going to church. He said that he felt badly about something he had done and he disclosed it to me. I asked him if he had confessed this to God, and he said he had. He believed that God was a forgiving God and had forgiven him. I asked him, “Do you feel forgiven?”
I asked the Lord what he wanted this man to know about his belief that he was bad, dirty, and shameful. He burst into tears at the following thoughts: “You are my son; everything is going to be alright.” I prayed again and asked the Lord if there was anything else He wanted him to know. He burst into tears at the thought that “You are already cleansed, whiter than snow.” Using your spiritual discernment, where do you think those thought came from?
Sexually abused children are devastated by shame. Shame leads to self-abuse, anger, depression, substance abuse, and marital problems. Man who burned down his house… Shame that is rooted in early-life experiences is difficult to remove, but through prayer the Lord is able to remove it easily and replace it with truth to set us free (John 8:32).
There is a fountain filled with blood, Drawn from Immanuel’s veins, And sinners plunged beneath that flood, Lose all their guilty stains. Lose all their guilty stains, Lose all their guilty stains. And sinners plunged beneath that flood, Lose all their guilty stains.
Isaiah 1:18 “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” Isaiah 1:18
LEARNING TO ENGAGE OTHERS IN HEALING CONVERSATIONS
Begin by praying about your own grief and loss issues. Once you get resolution and peace, you can use this experience to share with others: “I always heard that you could never get rid of grief, but I found something recently that helped me get rid of my own grief.” Use it with family members also.
Look for opportunities to speak with others and be genuinely interested in their feelings. Avoid being intrusive but be willing to listen. Probe deeper, if they are receptive, to identify the emotional reasons for their distress. Remember that there are many lonely, hurting people that need peace in their lives. Give them a tract or book if their needs are beyond your abilities or time limitations.
Airport conversation with a UN peacekeeper. Soldier from Philippines returning home because his father had died. I asked him how he was handling it and if it was painful to think about. I asked him if he would like to get rid of the pain, if he could. We prayed and he said that a load was lifted from him afterwards and he felt peaceful.
Sitting in a restaurant reading my Bible when a man approached me and shared a poem he had written about Christmas. I asked him where he was from and he said he was from California and left after his mother died. I asked him if it still bothered him to think about his mother and if he would like to get rid of the pain. We prayed and he reported that the pain was gone. He was able to talk about her without any tears.
I spoke with a housekeeper from Taiwan and asked about her Thanksgiving. She said she had a good Thanksgiving but was not looking forward to Christmas. I asked why and she stated that her mother died 18 years earlier just before Christmas and it still upsets her to think about her. I asked her if she would like to get rid of that pain if she could…
I was at a seminar in Dallas recently when I met this woman who casually mentioned that her husband had died recently… Rather than ignore her comment I told her that I was sorry to hear that and asked her when it happened and how she was doing. I was able to pray with her after lunch and saw her face light up with a newfound peace. I gave her a copy of my book to read.
The Lord wants to use you and me to show people how they can be set free. You now have the ability to help people get rid of their destructive feelings of anger, grief, and shame. The last time I taught this workshop, one of the participants called me in the evening… “It works!” The Lord wants us to teach others these simple truths so that believers will be set free, unbelievers will see the power of God, and so that He will be glorified!
Undeniable evidence of the power of God and a new openness to the Lord (drug abusers). Increased confidence in prayer (1 Kings 18:37-39). Increased love for the Lord by believers as they experience His loving healing. Increased unity and love for other believers as they begin bearing one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2) and praying for one another (James 5:16). Increased boldness in sharing the gospel as the Lord removes our fears.
Emotional healing of believers so that they will be more fruitful (unemployed woman). Deliverance from sins that give temporary relief from painful emotions. Drawing others to the Lord as they see evidence of His love for them; it’s a great evangelistic tool (the Lord is willing to heal unbelievers). The church will become relevant to people’s emotional needs. Excitement about the Lord and Church growth!
Imagine how it would impact your church fellowship and the marriages in your church if everyone in your church released their anger and their grief! Imagine what would happen if the word got out that people in your church know how to help others resolve their grief, release their anger and recover from a divorce!
If you have been touched by the Lord today and feel that He has been speaking to you, please commit yourself to doing two things: 1. Let the Lord carry your grief and anger. 2. Purpose to become a “Peacemaker” and begin showing others how to release their grief and anger. You can do an unspeakable amount of good for others if you will share what you’ve learned today with others.
“Now may the Lord of peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance.”
What a friend we have in Jesus, All our sins and griefs to bear, What a privilege to carry, Everything to God in prayer. Oh, what peace we often forfeit, Oh, what needless pain we bear, All because we do not carry, Everything to God in prayer.