Presentation on theme: "Good to be Me Identify opportunities and possible challenges in using the material across the school Discuss ideas as to how progress and impact may be."— Presentation transcript:
1Good to be MeIdentify opportunities and possible challenges in using the material across the schoolDiscuss ideas as to how progress and impact may be measuredActivities from the SEAL resourcesDiscussions & questioning:Where could I use this?Why would I use this?How will I know it has made a difference?..or contributed to a change –‘soft measures’Takes timesShapes lives
2Good to be meexplores feelings in the context of the child as an individual,developing self-awarenesshelping the child to realise that it really is ‘Good to be me'The theme is about understanding our feelings as well as considering our strengths and weaknesses as learners. It aims to develop knowledge, understanding and skills in three key social and emotional aspects of learning: self-awareness, managing feelings and empathy.
3Good to be meUnderstanding feelings, and why and how they lead us to behave the way we doparticularly the feelings of being excited, proud, surprised, hopeful, disappointed, worried and anxiousSelf-awarenessfeeling good about myself, taking risks.Managing my feelingsrelaxing, coping with anxietyStanding up for myselfassertiveness, standing up for my viewsAggressivePassiveassertive
4YP @ YoungMinds conference 2007; CSN 2007 “Mental health problems are less valued than physical ones. You don’t break your leg and be told ‘that’s life’ but you do about emotional things. If you break your leg you want it fixed. If I have a really hard time, I want help in how to deal with it.”1 in 10 children suffer from MH problemsYoungMinds conference 2007; CSN 2007
5Good to be me Week 1: Doing something to be proud of Week 2: Responding in an assertive wayWeek 3: Helping someone with a worryWeek 4: Stopping and thinking when they were angry
6Red Moving beyond the day to day norms circle time games – getting it ‘wrong’I feel surprised …I feel angry whenWhen … I feel jealousI feel excited when …Remember..not you made me feel …but … when you did …I felt
7Game In groups Family SEAL how much do you remember about each other? page 4 slim bookGood to be me - Knowing our feelingsTake it in turns to choose a feeling card. You should say one thing that makes the other person feel that way. Check your answer. For example, if you are the parent or carer and you pick a happy card you should say what you think makes your child happy. The child should say whether this is right. If not correct then they should say something what it could be.All members of the family can take it in turns to play this game. They should say one thing that makes each member of the family feel that way.What do you need to know about the families before you give them the game to play?What difference will it make?How could you adapt this for use in a lunch time oasis club?
9Pride, feeling proud …Is it good to feel proud? Can it be good to worry?Is it ever wrong to feel proud?Does pride come before a fall?How does it make you feel when someone has done something they are proud of?
104th January 2008 - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7169429.stm Helicopter parents4th JanuaryThe AgentThe BankerThe White KnightThe BodyguardThe Black HawkThe Agent Having an Agent helicopter parent is like having Max Clifford working for you round the clock-for free. They operate like a footballer's agent: fixing deals, arranging contracts, smoothing out local difficulties. It's the Agent's job to represent his or her client at events which, for whatever reason, the client feels are simply too tedious to attend.The Banker Accessible online, face-to-face or via a personal hotline, the Banker is unique in the world of financial services for charging no APR, asking few if any questions, expecting no collateral, and being psychologically inclined to say "yes" no matter how illogical or poorly articulated the request. The Banker is also resigned to never seeing loans repaid.The White Knight Imbued with an almost semi-mythical status, the White Knight parent appears at little to no notice to resolve awkward situations. Once resolved, the White Knight will fade anonymously into the background. Intervention is accomplished silently and with minimum fuss.The Bodyguard The primary function of the Bodyguard is to protect the client from a range of embarrassing social situations - such as cancelling appointments and soaking up complaints on behalf of their client. Particularly skilled in constructing elaborate excuses. When not protecting life, limb and reputation, doubles up as a chauffeur and personal assistant.The Black Hawk Named after the military helicopter, and dreaded by teachers and educational administrators, the Black Hawk is unique among helicopter parents due to their willingness to go to any lengths - legal or illegal - to give their offspring a positional advantage over any competition. Particularly lethal when elected to parent-teacher associations.So how can I be sure it is good to be me?
11Truth, whole truth, nothing but … Where are you on the scale of ‘Good to be me’?Is this constant? When does this change?What about those around us?Is it really worth it?What difference is this going to make?Remember the dice game – accepting compliments, saying something good the cultural more of boastingThis is a long haul for most children – the easy hits are the attendance and other ‘deficit markers’ - …
12The magic box Who is in the box? Look in the box and describe what you seeOR20 questions … with only a Yes or No response
14Last night as I lay thinking here, Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear Last night as I lay thinking here, Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear. And pranced and partied all night long. And sang their same old Whatif song:Whatif I'm dumb in school? Whatif they've closed the swimming pool? Whatif I get beat up? Whatif there's poison in my cup?
15Whatif I start to cry. Whatif I get sick and die Whatif I start to cry? Whatif I get sick and die? Whatif I flunk that test? Whatif green hair grows on my chest?Whatif nobody likes me? Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me? Whatif I don't grow tall? Whatif my head starts getting smaller?Whatif the fish won't bite? Whatif the wind tears up my kite? Whatif they start a war? Whatif my parents get divorced?
16Whatif the bus is late. Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight Whatif the bus is late? Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight? Whatif I tear my pants? Whatif I never learn to dance?Everything seems swell, and then The nighttime Whatifs strike again!Shel Silverstein
18Staffroom ice breaker / Coffee time activity Who could it be?Identify one thing you have achieved, a skill you have that others are unlikely to know aboutOne person collects the skills and circulates the informationNow …match the skill to the individual
19Red How many times a day do you: smile laugh frown get cross / ‘make an angry face’
21Is it a ‘quadrant’ chart? confidentsadhappynervousIs it a ‘quadrant’ chart?
22Blue classroom organisation worry boxI caught ….. being kindsuggestions box
23Blue the difference between us Daphne DinosaurShe is only a little dinosaur so she isn’t very strong. Daphne doesn’t always think about what she does. If something goes wrong she just gets cross – very cross. If someone annoys her she doesn’t stop and think about it. She just hits out at whoever is nearby.If something good happens she gets happy – very happy, and she jumps up and down and sings and shouts.
24Blue the difference between us Olive OwlOlive is an owl. She is a great thinker. Olive thinks about things a lot. If something goes wrong, she stops and thinks about how to make it better.If something good happens she tells people how happy she is. She thinks about how they could be happy too.
25Blue the difference between us How would they react if:Someone accidentally bumped into her in the Playground?She came first in a race?Someone was using the computer when she wanted to use it?Someone was really kind to her?She lost at a game of snakes and ladders?What could you sayWhat should you say…what would you say?Q what strategies do you have in school for your use …what about other adults …what about the children
29Silver KS 1 how I am feeling how I can relax how I can say what I need how I can say when I am proud
30Yellow surprisesAre surprises always good?What makes you surprised?Is it right to surprise someone?What would happen if everything was a surprise?How would you feel if the same thing happened every day?
31Yellow knowing and owning our feelings How do you feel?Why do you feel like thatWhat would you like to happen to put it right / repair the harmPeer mediationRestorative justice
32Good to be me Yellow set resource sheet: year 4 Fight or flightGood to be meYellow set resource sheet: year 4
33Long, long ago life was more dangerous than it is for most people living today. Just imagine you lived then.
34You need to act very quickly. You don’t have time to think. All of a sudden you see …Well I don’t know. I’m just going to take a minute to think about this, should I run? I don’t want to spoil my new bear skin loincloth - and maybe it is a friendly bear anyway … AAAARRRGGG!a ferocious bear.You need to act very quickly. You don’t have time to think.
35You need to be able to spot danger and run away or attack the bear very, very quickly.
36If we live in a dangerous place we need to make sure that our brain tells us to move out of the way pretty quickly! Luckily the feeling part of the brain does this very well. What it does is look out for THREATS and tells the body very, very quickly what to do. The reason it can work so quickly is that it only has a few ideas about what to do.
39The feeling part of your brain gets your body ready for action – ready for ‘fight’ or ‘flight’. If you are not careful it stops your brain from thinking about anything else.
40that monsters come out of my wardrobe. that I fail every test. Nobody knows but methat monsters come out of my wardrobe.that I fail every test.that I am scared of someone dying.that I’m not so keen on dogs.that I truly hate water.that I can’t sleep without my teddy.that I don’t like telling lies.Nobody knows but me thatI don’t like being late for school.that I always miss my mum.Nobody knows anything round here, only me.Castle Park County Primary School
41Nobody knows how worrying it is to take a test, And feel bad if you’re not the best.Nobody knows how worrying it is to go to a new school,And the children make you look like a fool.Nobody knows how worrying it is to play a rugby match,And worry about not making the special catch.Nobody knows how worrying it is to see a pet die,And think you see it in the sky.Then you think it’s over and everything’s fantasticAnd the thought comes backlike a catapultmade of elastic.Castle Park County Primary School
44Words, words, words … aggressive passive assertive Q what do these words mean?Q what social connotations do these words carry?TIME TO DISCUSS AND FEED BACK…ag·gres·sive ( -gr s v)adj.1. Characterized by aggression: aggressive behaviour.2. Inclined to behave in an actively hostile fashion: an aggressive regime.3. Assertive, bold, and energetic: an aggressive sales campaign.4. Of or relating to an investment or approach to investing that seeks above-average returns by taking above-average risks.5. Fast growing; tending to spread quickly and invade: an aggressive tumour.6. Characterized by or inclined toward vigorous or intensive medical treatment: an aggressive approach to treating the infection.7. Intense or harsh, as in colourpas·sive (p s v)1. Receiving or subjected to an action without responding or initiating an action in return: the mind viewed as a passive receptacle for sensory experience. See Synonyms at inactive.2. Accepting or submitting without objection or resistance; submissive: a passive acceptance of one's fate.3. Existing, conducted, or experienced without active or concerted effort: "4. Of, relating to, or being certain bonds or shares that do not bear financial interest.5. Of, relating to, or being a solar heating or cooling system that uses no external mechanical power.6. Grammar Of, relating to, or being a verb form or voice used to indicate that the grammatical subject is the object of the action or the effect of the verb. For example, in the sentence They were impressed by his manner, were impressed is in the passive voice.7. Chemistry Unreactive except under special or extreme conditions; inert.8. Electronics Exhibiting no gain or contributing no energy: a passive circuit element.9. Psychology Relating to or characteristic of an inactive or submissive role in a relationship, especially a sexual relationship.Adj.1.assertive - aggressively self-assured; "an energetic assertive boy who was always ready to argue"; "pointing directly at a listener is an assertive act" self-asserting, self-assertiveaggressive - having or showing determination and energetic pursuit of your ends; "an aggressive businessman"; "an aggressive basketball player"; "he was aggressive and imperious; positive in his convictions"; "aggressive drivers"imperative - requiring attention or action; "as nuclear weapons proliferate, preventing war becomes imperative"; "requests that grew more and more imperative"unassertive - inclined to timidity or lack of self-confidence; "a shy unassertive person“VERY LIMITED ON ASSERTIVE – DO WE KNOW WHAT IT MEANS??See also wikipedia:Assertive style of behavior is to interact with people while standing up for your rights. Being assertive is to one's benefit most of the time but it does not mean that one always gets what he/she wants. The result of being assertive is that 1) you feel good about yourself 2) other people know how to deal with you and there is nothing vague about dealing with you.Assertive people have the following characteristics:They feel free to express their feelings, thoughts, and desires.They know their rights.They have control over their anger. It does not mean that they repress this feeling. It means that they control it for a moment and then talk about it later in a logical way.They have a good understanding of feelings of the person they are communicating with.
46How many peopleWhat was the colour of the furnitureHow many windowsWhich pet was asleep on the rugWhat was in the background?Was there a picture on the wallWhat colour was the lady’s jumperHow many people were sitting down?Could everyone have had a chair?
47Silver KS 2 self-aware about their learn some skills to help them manage and cope with uncomfortable feelingscope with or manage uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety and stress and appear unhappy or fearful emotions
48Green the proof of the pudding Words:frustratedboastingproudmixed feelingsQ: What happens when there is a ‘mix’ of feelings?How does the balance of ‘ingredients’ impact on what we say and do?What influences the mix?How do we take into account that which is outside the school gates?
49Green / staff current school practice How do we take into account that which is outside the school gates?
50Green peer pressureWhat is the difference between:a Manchester United kitand a School uniform?
51First, We Picked Captains though usually they had alreadypicked themselves. Sometimes they just said it,‘I’ll be captain,’ and we pretendedour happy agreement.It was easier that way,and dusk was fallingso we needed to get started.
52We stood in a line and the captains picked us. ‘My first pick,’ one would usually say,and the other agreed, because that was easier,and he never wantedthe boy that Billy picked anyway.
53After they picked us, we lined up behind them, always knowing who should be last.But sometimes it happenedthe usual last hadn’t come to play,had the bellyache, or was looking afterhis little sister,and someone else stood not wanting to bethe one not chosen, the one left over –who never even got in the line with the captainbecause already the rest were pilingtheir goalpost jackets and spreading for ‘centre’
56What risks might children take? at home at school at ‘play’ What risks do you take?at homeat workHow to we move from a risk averse culture, an apparently litigious society to one where we and our children can make informed choices
57RisksWhat is an acceptable risk?How to we enable our children to be risk takers and to manage risk?
58Staff PDM In your school … What are the threats that your children perceive or experienceHow might these be reduced?What could you try tomorrow to reduce this? (in your classroom, across the school?)
59Maggie was asleep in bed. She was warm and cosy. Her mum shouted up to her. ‘Time to get up! I am off to work.’But Maggie turned over and went back to sleep.She was dreaming a lovely dream. She dreamt she was with her friend on holiday.Just then her older sister pulled off the bed covers and shouted, ‘You're late and stupid!’Maggie’s brain started to feel a bit stressed and angry. She didn’t even notice.
60Maggie got out of bed and went downstairs Maggie got out of bed and went downstairs. Her sister was waiting for her.She had Maggie's homework in her hand. ‘This is rubbish. Why are you sooooh stupid?’Maggie felt like crying but she didn’t. She just swallowed and went to get her breakfast.Maggie’s brain was a little bit more stressed and angry. But she still didn’t notice.Maggie took down the cereal packet and a bowl, but when she tried to pour some out she found it had all gone.Her sister had eaten it all.Maggie’s brain was a little bit more stressed and angry. But still she didn’t notice.
61She went to the shed.She was late and she wanted to ride to school but her bicycle wasn’t in the shed.Her sister had taken it. Now she had to walk to school.Maggie’s brain was a little bit more stressed and angry. But still she didn’t notice.When Maggie got to school she saw her friends over the other side of the playground.They were laughing and playing together.Maggie felt very alone and just at that minute a small boy came past and accidentally trod on her toe.…what happened next?
62Maggie burst into tears, screamed and hit the boy. She couldn’t understand why!When she thought about it later, she knew it was an accident.Her toe didn’t even hurt very much.
63What worries you?What worries can you do something about?Why do we worry about something we cannot influence?
65Don’t let your worries get out of hand. If you think you are beginning to worry,do something now.Catch that worry!Have a good look and check that it is a Useless Worryand not a Useful Thought.If it is a Useful Thought take it by the hand and do something with it.If it is a Useless Worry, take it by the throat and say,‘You Useless Worry, go away and leave me be!’But worries don’t go that easily. They often fight back.So relax – a Useless Worry can’t stand a calm and relaxed mind.But some worries are fighters. They won’t go away.Try challenging it! Say,‘Useless Worry, you are lying!’Then tell it all the things that show the worry isn’t true.Things like: Last time things were okay … That isn’t true because…That is really rare … You don’t get …But sometimes worries won’t go away, or are very important or dangerous, and you need to TALK ABOUT THEM to someone who will listen.Green page 25Old Wormwart’s cure for worrying
66Staff PDM Emotional resilience Feelings of self worth Feelings of competenceLearned optimismFeelings of autonomyThe ability to bounce back in the event of failureThe ability to take sensible risks
67agree or disagreeHow do YOU persuade another person to change their mind?How can other people try to persuade you to change your mind?Were any ways more successful than others?Were there any things people did or said that made you more convinced of your opinion?Can you recall a time when anything that people said or did was used as a form of ‘peer pressure’ to get someone to do something they don’t want to do?Have your choices ever been affected by peer pressure?
68agree or disagreeHow do you feel when very few people, or nobody agrees, with your belief?Is it easy to say what you believe when you know that other people do not share your view? What can you or other people do in this situation?Why do you think that sometimes people ‘go along with the crowd’ and do things they would not usually do?When can peer pressure affect our judgements and the risks we are prepared to take? Is there always a choice?How can we create an atmosphere in which everyone feels comfortable expressing their own beliefs (even if others don’t agree with them)?
69Self assessment Ladder / washing line Quadrant Chart Mood board Masks Weather / water pictures…Q
70Still a useful document – and yours to take away … Beware any focus on a deficit model - …what do we think when we hear ‘behaviour strategy’….
71Sharing practice 20 minute slots what is working what you are working onlessons learnedChallengesConsider:How am I different since we increased our focus on social and emotional aspects of learning?½ supply cover available to those presenting at the session
72National Strategy site ForumsNational Strategy site