TO THE Conrad BLUCHER INSTITUTE for Surveying and Science
Instigator of the secret cult called the: WHBA (Blucher WorkaHolics Anonymous) It is told that she is an Alien ( she certainly behaves like one at times) But her intensions are good ( or are they?) Her hobbies include jumping out of perfectly well functioning plains and disturbing the local wildlife above and under water….
Keep your eyes pealed: this is the Scene of The crime: workaholic headquarters in Corpus Christi Texas
Worker Distribution Table : This table shows the percentage of workers present on a given day of the week, and at given times of the day, where green is the morning hours, blue is the noon time and orange is the late afternoon time
Your typical well organized office space: Notice the delicate arrangement of the work environment… All shelf space has been perfectly utilized Everything is clearly marked All cables are strategically placed for easy yanking ….aaahhh…access. A place for everything and everything in its place…kinda
Meet the members of the BWHA: Warning: No liability or any kind of responsibility taken by anyone for any reason For anything ever!!!! *Proceed at your own risk*
Meet: The Cable Guy or ET-specialist (or was it IT) Charles White, or the man…. The man fixes almost anything as long as it does not occupy the hand that holds the phone (ET phone home) For those tasks he has his specialty crew consisting of only blonde women-aliens with IQ’s above 10 ( but they do not have to call him Master)
Meet our first Alien from Brazil: Simone the beautiful Totally absorbed into her work and completely paralyzed by the flickering image on the computer screen (Poke’mon) Dreaming about becoming a soccer star (notice the shoes)and her favorite pass time occupation is gossiping on the phone ( but she never ever will tell) A good girl after all
The OTHER Alien from Germany: Lilo FuzzyBrain ( not Lilo and Stitch ) Her mouth is her most valuable and fastest tool, used mostly in conjunction with a much slower thought process. As a side effect: Both feet fit comfortably in her mouth. With fake hair and a fat smile she hopes to get away with it…and mostly does ( at least that is what she thinks).
Meet: Heather ( riddle me this and riddle me that ) Like Mona Lisa, this woman has many secrets and here is shown only one of them. Her hobbies include finding out whose student worker she actually is, big dog tossing ( mainly on weekends) and deep sinking…..ooops….deep thinking of course. She keeps on insisting that her face looks funny on photographs
Meet: Isabel of the thousand fragrances Besides having the greatest smelly candle collection in hero township she has a totally disarming smile Most of the time she can be found buried under packing slips and UPS labels. Secretly she want to be buried under fed-ex labels since the delivery guy is so much cuter…
Meet: Sarah Us Err Y It Meet: Sarah Us Err Y It ( Latin for: to err is human but Sarah does not ) Through the seasons, year in and out inventory comes…and never goes. Steady as a rock She is there to make sure that everybody is sure to ensure that inventory surely does not become an unsure issue around here. Her hair has gotten longer much as her patience has and with her feet up and the alertness of a hedge hog in spring, she can tell… it will be a long summer full of inventory this year. Her TEES are annoying her at times But she will never give up the fight For equal inventory …go Sarah !!!
Meet: Chris the serf-dude ( master of the wave ) Leisure is his middle name and cool accompanies it. His posture makes him recognizable from afar, his expertise of the motion of the ocean is unsurpassed (except maybe by the fish that live in it) What he does nobody really knows but he works very hard at it! Know body knows who that intruding face at the corner of the picture is but it is cute …so…it’s cool!! His electronics-can’t-touch-this-Phobia is the main reason this man does not know what to do with his hands……but like a gunslinger…he is ready to use’em if he has to
Meet: Dan the WAN the Radioman ( Who went to England to marry the Queen ) Vibes and pings and satellites are this man’s greatest delights. He mentioned once that he was about to cross Texas swimming…but really, there is just not enough water around the mid section of this State. His passion is being stranded on an oilrig during summer heat and watch the seagulls deposit their dodo on the solar panels His secret is: he wants to become a belly dancer for the Russian ballet
Meet: Frank [y] ( but he does not go to Hollywood..yet ) A man with a big heart, a big smile and a big file cabinet ( unfortunately it does not accommodate the 200 or so boxes being strategically rotated through the building) Master of the lamp and holder of dreams of golden coins(I think it is called budged)he summons the golden dollar for trade on the sprinkle doughnut market
Meet: Dixie the office vixen and holder of the sacred…ahhm secret knowledge Her patience is only surpassed by the length of the rotation of the earth around the sun (right, we ARE still the center of gravity around here!) Her hobbies include staying late at blucher9 mmhh, I wonder if she has permanently bonded with her office chair?)and lending her ears to anyone ( I wonder where she keeps all those spare ears?)
Meet: Mr. Altoid Dilbert alias John Perez His breath is always minty fresh not quite so the computers he works on. Rumor has it, that the enormous dent on his head (covered by his hair and beard)was the result of all the tin boxes collapsing the shelf and coming tumbling down knocking him out for a few split seconds were he had an epiphany …and so Dilbert came into his life.
Frequent Visitors of BWHA They strive to greatness but have not yet achieved WH -State (in no particular order or disorder)
Meet: Monica Fairy Queen of the DNR Her name is German, her nationality is American and her looks are oriental. She lingers at times in Dixie’s office and exchanges interplanetary secrets in a low mumbling voice. She mysteriously wonders through the corridors and hallways and her smile makes you wonder what she might be thinking about
Meet: Sam the earthbound and she is nobody’s uncle! Contradictory to the rumors of any hut construction and that she is not related to uncle tom Sam is a wonderful distraction when she comes visiting the all powerful Dixi Her hobbies include dry salt water aquariums and imaginary tropical fish Her fear of strangers reading her lips is clearly visible in this snapshot, but otherwise her smiles brighten up everybody’s day
Welcome to the DNR Dynamic Neurotic Researchers The DNR is a interconnected part of BWHA in some mysterious way, or maybe the other way around. But in any which way, it has been established through extensive research over the last decade that Neurosis is a precondition to Workaholicsism. Researchus Uninteruptus Glorious Complexus This makes it a necessity to introduce the candidates as well as the individuals that have developed the ultimate neurosis: Researchus Uninteruptus Glorious Complexus. Note: this condition is not infectious and can only be developed through exposure to the existing environment of Blucherism and NRCism for a prolonged and continuous time span. You can exhale now !!
Meet: John Adams and Eaves The man that coordinates the down under Diveology Topology of when and where and the Syncronology of thought and task assignments and then wonders…were did I last leave my divers ? Did I leave the stove on or was I supposed to put gas in the car? He blesses us with a good sense of humor and his energetic bouncy ball exterior it is always fun in the sun.
Meet: Rizzo, James, James Bond 007-11 is his secret extension and he is the man that lives on excitement, adrenaline and goes nowhere without his famous gadgets. Coordinating the plans for secret deployment of the Dive-Squadron with the John James Double Bond – Adams. You can see the gears in his head moving steadily, never resting, deep thinking, always alert and ready….is that sound the cutting of trees somewhere nearby…?
Meet: the Dive boat we always wanted Here it is: our pride and joy. So beautiful so like a princess, so unreachable.. But then there were some budget cuts… First we had to reconsider the size. Then we had to deal with what engine we could afford. Then we had to make a slight change in the material used and add certain hurricane safety measures since insurance was out of the question..and this is what we got:
Meet: Eaves with Adams She has been here before, She is here now, and She will be here again !!! Kristi in Corpus Christi and what a corpus Kristy has….woauhh John Getting his shoulders into the freezer (seems like the procedure has not been worked out to satisfaction yet) but his head keeps on getting in the way….. ……while the famous She is taking notes (very important in research) in order to later recall exactly how one shows a cold shoulder. This shows again that when it comes to the conviction of our scientists not even the universe is the limit.
Meet: Jessica Touchesmack the Pearls of Pearls The Girl that Perls like no other. The woman that types faster then the wind, programs like Narcissus loves himself and then gets stuck on a light house issue. Her syndrome started when hordes of people stormed into her office every time a web page was done and insisted that: The light house wasn’t light enough… The current arrows weren’t currenty currently enough… the writing should be more right and rite and left and more up then down but not quite even when under it could be more and then less was not bad either…....maybe it was best the way it was and then…well…
Meet: Toni Mnemonic This man is unstoppable one he gets into the groove. His ideas come poring out like the rain on hurricane day. The bleeps and the greeps and the blinks and winks of HF- Radar put the groovy in his groove Emerged into programming, changing registries and loosing workable components of his computer he still has a smile left in him to great his co-workers. This is why we are proud to announce the additional installment of the switch that pauses the groove.
Meet: Scott Vi-Vip Between computer parts and fuzzy round things in various colors the VI-Vip whips up Vi-Editors to do his Vip work with vicious vengeance ( say that 3 times fast) When Vi-Viping becomes to vicious he relaxes his fingers by juggling his fuzzy round various colored things while thought of how to take over the world preoccupy his mind. Another genius with crystal clear logic and understanding of the intricate workings of the language of penguins. He is the Master of solving the insolvent, the authority on matters of fuzzy round logic ( even if it comes in various colors)
Meet: the Animal Lover He is cute, he is cuddly and he loves Penguins. Leaving behind the Gates of ignorance he ventured out, to boldly go were no penguin has gone before with a Red Hat as his trademark Without him there would not be such interconnectivity between the BWHA and the DNR ( Dynamic Neurotic Researchers). Expanding his vision above and beyond the mere view out of Windows and Gateways, a great mind behind a skirmish smile, the genius, the philosopher, the wheel that turns and greases BWHA & DNR Your chance to win 3 Billion $: How many penguins can you find in the picture ? Send you answer to: Insomniac Inc, 666 Peevely Chills, CA 90210. Have to be present in person to collect. Drawing held on 29.Feb. 2023. All rights reserved.
Meet our Exchange Student Alex Alexia He came to us to Math lab his way into manly hood He left us wearing a dress Size 8. His career wish to join NASA was cut short….will we ever find out why? After the extended stay of 6 month we had to send him back to Germany with our best wishes and 30 $ ( he was supposed to do something with that but he forgot), where he plunged into the underground and has not been heard of ever since…