7/29/91 Lance didn’t show up. But like I said, I had a good time without him, because I met some one else. I feel bad because I don’t want Lance picking up on other girls. I got a guy’s phone number. It was weird. I don’t know how it happened. Heather was talking to him. Then he asked for my number and Heather gave it to him and he gave me his. While we were there he put his arm around me. Once we hugged. Then he left. I came in and 5 minutes later he called. We talked for 2 hours.
7/29/91 His name is Dan and he’s 20 years old. We were just getting to know each other and he said if you do something about your boyfriend we’ll go out Friday. Now I have to do something about Lance. I’m supposed to call Dan in a few minutes. I’ll try to call Lance tonight. I called Dan and we talked for almost an hour. He said he wanted to take me to Magic Mountain. Last night on the phone he kept calling me a sweetheart. He asked me out on a date for Friday. I paged Lance and Dan at the same time and Lance never called back, but I talked to Dan 3 times today. I need to let Lance know it’s over with us, but I can’t tell him if I can’t get a hold of him.
7/30/91 I talked to Dan 3 times today and he is going to call me when he gets home. I’ve talked to Lance 0 times today. I think Dan really likes me. He is going to surprise me on our date. I like him… When Dan called me after work he said, “Hey sexy,” to me.
8/2/91 Friday I talked to Dan last night. He read me poems of slow songs, which made me cry. He said if anything happens we would have a song (which he played for me last night). I’m excited about tonight. I hope he’s not shy. This time when he called me babe.
8/3/91 Our date was really fun. I had to pick him up, but I didn’t mind. First we went to El Torito for dinner. Then we went to Family Fun Center to ride the go-carts. After that we went and got ice cream. During this whole time we never even held hands. Well, next we went to the movies. During the movie he grabbed my hand and held on to it. So now it was my turn to make a move, so I kissed him. After the movie I drove him home. We sat in the car in front of his house for a while. We listened to the radio and our song came on and I kissed him again.
8/3/91 It was time for him to get out so I could go home. So we kissed good-bye. I’ve went out with Lance for almost 4 months and we never French kissed. I go out with Dan on 1 date and we’re all over each other. I didn’t even kiss Lance until we were going out for awhile. Dan didn’t get one peck. Like Lance got. I can’t wait to see him again. I got home at 2 o’clock and my mom was upset. So I don’t know when I can see him again. But I really like him. I can’t believe he likes me too. He’s 20 years old. Damn I’m good. Lance was my 1 st boyfriend, but 2 nd the best.
8/12/91 2 Weeks Later Dan called Heather’s house while I was there. He told her he was coming over. Well, he wasn’t kidding. Shaun came over too. So we sat in her front yard. I sat in Dan’s lap. Once I was sitting across from him and he whispered, “I love you.” I don’t know if I’m ready to tell him I love him. He wants me to come over tomorrow and go swimming. I don’t know.
8/16/91 and 8/18/91 I went out with Dan tonight. We went to play miniature golf. Then we went to his friend’s house, who was having a party. It was boring. So we went to his house. And you know what we did there. He said he can’t wait to get into a fight so we can have fun making up. So we drove to the beach. We looked at the water, and kissed. I told him I love him for the first time.
8/22/91 and 8/23/91 I went to Dan’s house, [but Dan’s grandfather was home] so we drove around. And when we came back he was gone. So we went into his room, and watched T.V. for half an hour. After that we started kissing and touching. He wanted to take my shirt off. (I had another shirt.) Soon after that all my clothes were off. So I worked on getting his clothes off… Then it happened… and we were having sex. I was nervous… I’m not a virgin anymore. Three weeks later, Dan told Bill about us sleeping together last night. I want to tell my friends but I don’t want my mom to know… not yet.
8/28/91 and 8/29/91 I went to Dan’s house, then we went to C.J.’s. At C.J.’s we saw his ex – Kim. I think she’s pretty. While we were there he kept hinting that he wanted to go to his house. Like it was cool tonight. Well we did go to his house, but we didn’t do anything. We were emotional. We hugged a lot and I cried. He tried to cry. We only kissed a little. I went to Dan’s house for the afternoon. We went to his room. He wanted to go to the beach tonight, but I can’t. So I hope I can see him tomorrow night. Lance called 2 times today. I like him still… but I love Danny.
9/8/91 and 9/14/91 Then I went to his house today. Then we came to my house for dinner… then we went back to his house and well, he was horny so we had sex… I don’t want to say this but I think he pushes me into having sex. I mean he always wants it. But I love him. Remember I said Dan had something to ask me? Well, last night he asked me to marry him. I think he was serious. But I didn’t take it that way at first. I’m going to his house tonight.
9/30/91 Two months later. Dan left his pager here. So now he pages me all the time. He called after work… something is up. He says he’ll do anything for me. Then he says will you do anything for me? He wants something. He said he would call back. I’m dying to know what’s up with him. I was so worried, but the thing he wanted was to use my car for an interview. So he is going to use it while I’m at school, then he’s going to pick me up. So I get to be with him tomorrow night.
10/1/91 I told Dan I was sick so that I wouldn’t have to come over. But he’s upset. He’s trying to get me to come over. He called and said he needed to know if I was coming. I said, “No.” He was upset and we just hang up. Not even an “I love you.” I don’t know what I’m going to do about him. He’s getting unbearable. I love him, but he’s obsessed. He always had to be with me. I can’t break up with him. I don’t know what I can do.
10/8/91 and 10/28/91 Lance called!! I talked to Dan. I miss him. HE found out I’m writing a diary. So he got mad because I wouldn’t read some to him. We talked about names for baby. Weird conversation. He wants a baby. I do too. Just not so soon. I’m getting nervous. It would be so easy for me to get pregnant because we don’t use any protection. I want a baby but not now.
11/3/91 and 12/01/91 WE had a tiff. We didn’t speak for a while. But we made up. I’m tired of him pressuring me. When I tell [him] I don’t want to. But he’s a horn dog. Sex, sex, sex.” I told Dan I was sick so that I wouldn’t have to come over. But he’s upset. He’s trying to get me to come over. He called and said he needed to know if I was coming. I said no. He was upset. And he just hung up. Not even an I love you. I don’t know what I’m going to do about him. He’s getting unbearable. I love him but he’s obsessed, he always has to be with me. I can’t break up with him. I don’t know what I can do.
12/08/91 I’ve talked to him a few times today. He wanted to come over I won’t get to see him until Saturday. He said he gave me that rose for our 4 month anniversary. He’s so sweet. I wrote him a latter. All about our weekend. I love him. When we were fighting he was crying on my shoulder wanting me to forgive him. 1 fight in 4 months is not bad. He says he’ll change. He realizes I’m not like him. I love him more now than ever. Lance called the other night. He asked my mom what I want for X-mas. She told him a new boyfriend. And he said how about an old one. Sounds like he still likes me. But I’ve got the best boyfriend.
12/17/91 and 12/25/91 I started school late so Dan and Mike came over this morning. When I left for school I found out Dan snooped around in my room and found one of my journals. For X-Mas he made me open my present last. Inside that big box was a lot of little presents. Then at the bottom was a ring.
01/08/92 January 1, 1992!! This was the best New Year’s Eve of my life. We got a motel room. We made love. Then we read my diary... Then we took a shower. We made love as the year changed. It was so wonderful. The night before (12/31) we got into a fight. But to make up, we had sex in my car. Something I said I would never do.
1/29/92 Dan and I are arguing. He’s mad because I can’t or won’t come over. I won’t try to talk to my mom. He said it sounds like I don’t want to see him. I won’t be able to see him tomorrow either. He said he won’t stop trying to see me. And if I don’t try things will get worse. I guess he’s going to come over tomorrow. So he says.
2/8/92 Dan asked me to go to Rock-n-bowl tonight. Well, I didn’t want to. So we argued about that. He came over and I said I thought we’ve been seeing each other too much. He said he hopes he’s not losing me, because the next thing I’’ be wanting to see other people.
2/17/92 and 3/8/92 We had a good weekend. We barely fought… I spent the afternoon with him today. Tomorrow I’m going with him to buy suits. (He took the diary I wrote about Lance). He [Dan] came over at 11 and we did mailing for his job. Then my grandparents came over. Things were fine. Until he asked me to do something and I argued with him. So we got in a BIG fight. It was so big that he almost broke up with me. I even thought he did. This is it, if I screw up again then it’s over.
3/11/92 and 3/18/92 I drove to school, and Dan was still there after school. I watched him play basketball. Then I went to his house. Things weren’t like they usually are. He was mad at everything I did or didn’t do. Like I didn’t kiss him, so when I did he didn’t want one. He used my car today. Then I went to the park with him and he came over when he was done. We hadn’t fought in 5 days. Then today we had it out because I won’t wear the shirt he bought me. But we made up.
3/22/92 My mom said I couldn’t go anywhere. That pissed Dan off. I told him not to come over. I told him to [expletive] off and he hung up. Then he called back and said I’d better be there at 15 minutes after 12 or it will be the beginning of the end. I’m not going over there. I won’t take his threats. Let him break up with me. Sometime I wish he would.
5/2/92 and 5/6/92 Last night was hell. I told him I wanted to see other people. Well we broke up. I wanted to still see each other and go out, but he didn’t want that. He rode home at 11. He called me at 12:30 to say he was okay. Then we made up and we decided things will be different. We won’t be seeing each other as much. And if I lie once he said he will never see me again. (I’ve been thinking about Lance a lot lately. I wish I could give him another chance.) 9 months Happy Anniversary. Ya right. All we’ve been doing is fighting. He wants me to take a bus to see him Saturday. I said no. So he got mad.
7/1/92 Lance (old boyfriend) called while I was gone. I hope he calls back. Lance did call back while I was on the phone with Dan. And Dan knew. I’m in deep shit. Dan hates me. He broke my sunglasses. He said a lot of mean things. Now I have to call back tonight and apologize to him. I wish it was easier to get over him. I wish he would get it through his head that I’m not going to go back with him. He tells me I better figure out what I want.
7/92 My mom asked me if I had to make the decision right now, what would I do? I told her I would keep it, and she went off the wall again. Saying how I would ruin my life, because if you went into the marines, we would have to get married and I could forget about taking my car, and our baby wouldn’t have anything… I LOVE YOU! I MISS YOU! I NEED YOU! I WANT YOU! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox Kiss the baby!
8/3/92 and 8/6/92 What a mess. Dan needed me to come over. So I did, but I couldn’t stay. He was going to leave or kill himself. I was worried about him. The next day he was at Julie’s & I went to see him. On Wednesday [8/5] we went out, but we fought. Dan came by and wanted me to go out. I ended up going. He got a motel room and we had a good time.
8/8/92 and 8/9/92 I spent the afternoon with Dan. We went to the movies. Tomorrow we’re going to the beach. The beach was hell. All we did was fight. Now we’re not talking. I think it’s over. He said I’m not worth talking to, so when he called, I hung up. He told my mom I need to grow up. I don’t need him. Lance called. He ships out Tuesday for 3 weeks. I can’t wait until he comes home.
8/10-15/92 and 8/17/92 One day I was supposed to take Dan to look for a job, but the night before we fought. I still went but he ended up driving to Big Bear. Sat. I went to his sister’s all day. In the end we had a huge fight. I slapped him and he took my rings. He burned all my things from Lance. He won’t break up with me & I can’t bring myself to do it. I went to the beach & Dan was really upset because I said I would not go if he couldn’t go. He kept calling and threatened me. Then he came over and told me to break up with him. So I did… but we didn’t.
Nicholas is Born 12/5/93 2/8/94 I decided to start writing in a journal again. I just hope it doesn’t get me into trouble. Things are going good with me and Dan. He has a good job and a car and a place to live. We’ve talked about getting an apartment and getting married. Nicholas, who is
2/8/94 Now 2 months old, and doing great, is growing like a weed. I love him to death. I still can’t believe I have a baby. I’m in college at night. Things are rocky with my parents. I saw Lance last in December. And he calls me once in a while. He told my mom he would take me and the baby back. But his chance was over a long time ago. Because now I am going to try and make things work with Dan.
2/13/94 Baby is two months old. On Friday night I took the baby to Dan’s house and I didn’t feel like making out and he got mad. We got into a huge fight and he wouldn’t let me take the baby home. He hit me. I was hitting him. He threw me out and threw out the baby’s things. Well on Saturday I called to apologize and Saturday night I went to his house. So now things are better. Dan thinks Lance is still in Arizona or Texas. So I’m safe with him not find out about Lance coming over and giving me a Valentine's gift. What Dan doesn’t know won’t hurt him.
2/14/94 and 2/19/94 Lance called to say Happy Valentine’s Day. I didn’t even get to see Dan today. He said he would make it up to me. (How many times has he told me that?) Besides his way of making up is having sex. Anyway it won’t be the same – Valentine’s Day is over. At least I wasn’t totally forgotten. I still got a gift from Lance. I wonder what is going on with [Dan]. The other day he told me he stays up at night thinking. I guess he doesn’t like his job. And who knows what else is wrong. I want to call him, but I don’t know what to say to him. I’ll wait until tomorrow. I got lucky. Dan almost saw the card from Lance. I would be dead if he saw it. He thinks I haven’t talk to [Lance] in a long time.
2/23/94 I called Dan because he was supposed to get paid and he owes me money. He didn’t answer his phone or my page. I was calling all night and I was getting worried… So I went over there. When I saw him still in bed this morning, I knew he had lost his job. He wouldn’t tell me what happened. I’m going back over there when my mom gets home. I can’t believe this is happening again. I don’t know if I can take it. I will go crazy if he loses anything. I can’t stand by and watch him lose all he has worked hard to get back. I won’t be able to stand it if he lives on the street again (his rent is due… I hope he can pay it).
2/23/94 and 3/2/94 He has to get another job soon because now he has a baby to support. It’s a good thing I get welfare of we would be really bad off. HOW COULD HE LET THIS HAPPEN ??? Dan hasn’t had any luck finding a job. He hasn’t been trying that hard. I guess my plans to go to Magic Mountain for my birthday are shot. I won’t even get a present from him this year. ( I would if he had a job. )
3/4/94 I can’t believe what happened. Well first Lance called and he asked me what I was doing tonight. I told him nothing. Then he asked if he could rent a movie and watch it with me. I told him I had to call him back. I tried to get ahold of Dan all day. When he finally called he was an asshole. So I called Lance back and said it was okay. He came over at about 7:15. We started the movie at about 8 o’clock and my mom and Jesse left so it was just me and Lance. We just sat next to each other for a while. He played with Nicholas and he walked with him. When the baby went to bed he got me involved. He started tickling me. (I said if you keep doing that I’ll have to find where you’re ticklish. He kept on doing it.)
He rubbed my feet and gave me a back rub. He stayed even after the movie was over. He left at 11:00 and I walked him out to his car. We stood there and talked. Then we hugged. Not like we’ve hugged before. This time it was more intimate. Then we held hands for a second and hugged again. He said he would call and see what I was doing tomorrow. Unfortunately I have to see Dan. I don’t feel bad about seeing Lance behind Dan’s back. I guess I should. It’s kind of fun sneaking around. Dan will never know.
3/5/94 and 3/16/94 Dan came over (to get money). He got pissed when I told him I don’t have any. Then he called and said he doesn’t like liars. Well I’m not lying. I don’t have to put up with this shit with Lance. (I don’t know why I put up with it with Dan.) I love Nicholas, but now I am stuck with Dan. Who I don’t want to be with right now. Dan was an asshole today. What else is new. I haven’t got my check so I have no money and Dan takes all my change. What a jerk. Next time I see Lance I am doing it (Kiss him). [Lance came over] I was so nervous standing outside. I was afraid Dan would drive by. Lance kissed me on the head. (I couldn’t do it). But it will happen. I just hope this doesn’t blow up in my face. If Dan ever found out he would be furious.
3/18/94 and 3/20/94 Lance came over. We watched T.V. He held me more affectionately than you would even a close friend. My mom said I light up when he calls. I used to do that with Dan. Lance treats me so much better than Dan. Outside we hugged a lot and he kissed me on the cheek. (We’re getting closer). I like being with him. With Dan I can’t wait until he leaves. Today is Dan’s birthday. He called this morning being a jerk and then he wanted me to come over. I’m sick of his attitude. Lance doesn’t do this shit to me. Dan can spend his birthday the same way I spent mine [alone]. I haven’t heard from Lance today.
4/4/94 and 4/8/94 Dan was such an asshole last night because I wouldn’t go to the motel. He kept calling and he wouldn’t let me go to sleep. I cried my eyes out. Then today he tries to be nice. Well I won’t forgive him. I’m sick of the way he treats me. I can’t wait until Lance comes home. I won’t be able to stand it if he stays longer than a week. Dan is an asshole again today. And he let me know that I’m a bitch.
4/17/94 Things are really bad. Dan and I went to get ice cream. And then we parked to talk. He told me he had to let me go. I think he’s giving up on looking for a job. And me. We sat in the car for a long time and I wanted to go in. I got out and he told me to wait a minute, but I started walking towards the house. So he hit his windshield with his fist and cracked it a few times. I don’t know if I’ll see him again. He doesn’t have anywhere to go but he can be so stubborn. I never wanted this to happen. But I still want him and his situation anymore. But I still want him around for Nicholas. I’ll just have to wait and see if he comes over today.
5/30/94 I had quite a night last night. I was wrong about Lance [not really caring about me]. He called and asked if I wanted company. Well a minute later he was at the door. He called me from a pay phone by my house. We watch t.v. and he held me a lot. He held Nicholas. Then he was kissing my neck and chewing on my ear. Dan called while he was here, but he hung up on me and never called back. Lance stayed for 3 hours then I walked him outside where we talked and hugged for ½ an hour. I told him I wasn’t going out with Dan. He said he doesn’t like playing games. Like sneaking around. Well I’m sorry but we have to. Dan would kill me and Lance if he knew. Before Lance left (we hesitated for a while) we kissed... He said he’d been waiting for that. This is a mess. I have to be very careful.
6/10/94 and 6/18/94 It was another one of those days. Dan came over to get the baby and he went in my room to try and find “Brad’s” number. He looked everywhere. Then he starts digging in my trash. He gets to the bottom and he found an envelope to Lance and then a letter that I never sent. So he get raged…. Dan took me to Magic Mountain. We had a good time. We left early and went to his house and made love. We actually got along.
6/24/94 Last night was hell. Dan had the baby for the night… Being with Lance was the only good part about last night… The hell started when I got home. Dan was pissed because I didn’t call when I got home, plus he knew I wasn’t babysitting… I’m so tired of Dan doing this to me. I wish he would leave me alone. I want to go on, but I’ll never be able to. I’ll always have to sneak around. Now I did it! Dan knew I didn’t babysit. I told him I saw Lance. He flew off the wall. We were in my car and he cracked my windshield and broke my radio, but the worst is he was telling me he was going to get Nicholas taken away. He scares me when he does that.
6/30/94 and 7/3/94 Heather drove by and Dan remembered when I told him I went over there. He would have talked to her so I told him I didn’t go over there. He got pissed. I didn’t tell him I took the baby to Lance’s. He would of killed me. Tonight he [Dan] got mad because he doesn’t think I care about his feelings. I can’t help him. So he was talking crazy. Saying he’ll show everyone who hurt him. I can’t deal with this again.
7/6/94 Dan is serious about going out with a sign to get a job. Guess who has to take him? He got all of his things out today, so he’ll probably sleep in my car tonight (and every other night).
7/14/94 and 7/24/94 Dan and I took Nicky to Disneyland. Then we went back with Jesse and his friend. We even argued at Disneyland. I was getting mad because he wouldn’t keep his hands off of me. I can’t take this much longer. If it weren’t for Nicholas, Dan would be history. Dan and I are having all these problems and I’m always thinking about Lance. He’s a dork, but he treats me so nice.
8/1/94 Dan took a baby for a walk. When he came back no one was here. He came into my room and pushed redial on my phone. While he was gone I called Lance. Dan hung up on him and Lance called back. Dan picked up the phone and said, “If you talk to Megan again I’ll kill you.” Then he grabbed the baby and walked off. He took my wallet and told me to come pick him up. He got in to drive and started driving to the beach. Well, I whined and cried to take me home. Anyway, he forgave me. I wish he would stay mad. Maybe then he would leave me alone.
8/2/94 and 8/3/94 I took Dan to the welfare office. He was supposed to get his food stamps but he didn’t. Now I’m screwed. Dan was here early. I was calling Legal Aid to file custody papers. Dan was outside my window and he pulled the screen open and pulled the phone out. So he was all pissed about that. Then the phone was for me about a trade school and Dan comes in and hangs up the phone. I scream at him and slap him.
8/20/94 Dan said when he gets his food stamps he’s going to Washington or Oceanside. When have I heard this before? I’ll have to wait and see. I doubt it will happen. Not with my luck.
12/5/94 Nicholas’ Birthday!! I can’t believe he is already a year old. Dan is off on a trip. Now he’s saying that he’s going to kill himself. And if I want to keep Nicholas, the I’d better be nice to him until then. I would be sad if he did, but I would get over it, because he is ruining my life and if that is the only way he’ll leave me alone---then---I don’t think he’ll actually do it. He said this before.
12/12/94 Dan was supposed to go to Eddie’s, but he didn’t. He said if nothing happens by January 1 st then he would ‘leave.’ I don’t know what he means by that. But I do think I would be happier if I didn’t have to deal with him.
12/26/94 The Day After X-Mas I told Dan 1 week and if he doesn’t have a job then that’s it. I can’t take it anymore. I know he won’t have a job. My mom is trying hard to get papers so that I will have custody of Nicholas. One of these days I will be away from Dan.
Christmas sucked. I got good gifts but Dan made it suck because he was an asshole on X-mas Eve. He was mad because he had to sleep in the car… We went to his Grandma’s house. All of his family was there. They were nice to me, Dan was being an asshole. Then he didn’t get any presents so he was upset. Then I found out he took money from me, he said because I lied about it, so he took it to teach me a lesson. I’ve had it with Dan. He had the baby outside and he was walking off with him & I was grabbing the baby. He gave him to me & I brought him back in. Dan comes in the house & goes to my phone, I called Lance last.
I told him to get his stuff out, not to sleep in my car. It’s over. I hate him, I don’t want anything to do with him. He made me give him money so he could leave & he took the cordless phone. Lance called shortly after. He is so sweet. He always makes me feel better… He is still waiting for me. He has never called me a name or put me down.
12/29/94 and 12/31/94 I hate Dan for what he is doing to me. I wish he would leave me and the baby alone. Nothing has changed. Dan still comes over every day at 8:30 and he still sleeps in my car. He still has to know everything I do. It’s New Year’s Eve and I have no plans. The only good thing about this year was Nicholas. Things between me and Dan were terrible the whole year and now it’s over. Maybe in 1995 I can have something good happen with Lance.
1/3/95 Dan was here all day. He drove me crazy. Nothing has changed. We took Nicky to get some test done. Turns out that there is nothing wrong with him. Dan says he’ll probably have a job in a day or so and then he said I’ll never want to leave him. Yea right. Even if he had a good job and a place to stay, I still don’t want to be with him. I don’t know what I can do to get that through his head. I don’t love him anymore.
1/9/95 - Last Entry I know we will have a big argument about this tomorrow… When I got to Lance’s he was still in the shower. We went and got ice cream. Then we watched TV. He didn’t try anything. Outside we hugged. He asked me what I wanted. I told him I didn’t know. But that I wanted Dan out of my live. Then I kissed him (peck) to let him know I care…When I got home I thought I was free, but as soon as I got in the door, Dan called me. He said I hope you had a good time and I walked in. I know he’ll be an asshole tomorrow.
1/10/95 [Megan’s Death Certificate] Time of death: 12:50 p.m. Immediate cause of death: Asphyxiation due to strangulation
1/11/95 Danny’s Arrest Report Subj. [Danny Stewart] killed his girlfriend, vict. Megan W., at her residence in Orange. Subj. fled the residence, taking his and Megan’s 13 month old son, Nicholas Stewart and Megan’s vehicle. Subj. drove to an area on the Ortega Highway in Riverside County and Deliberately drove the veh. Off an approx. 300’ cliff in an effort to kill himself and the child, Nicholas. Subj. Stewart survived the crash and was transported to Riverside General Hospital. I contact the subj. Arrested him and then interviewed him. Subj. was booked in the Riverside County Jail Ward at the hospital on 1-11-95 at 2340 hrs., booking number 9501242.
1/12/95 Criminal Complaint On or about January 10, 1995, DANNY EUGENE STEWART, in violation of Section 187(a) of the Penal Code (MURDER), a FELONY, did willfully and unlawfully and with malice aforethought murder [Megan], a human being. On or about January 10, 1995, DANNY EUGENE STEWART, in violation of Section 187(a) of the Penal Code (MURDER), a FELONY, did willfully and unlawfully and with malice aforethought murder [Nicholas], a human being.