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3.2 Express Emotions The Way Healing Through The Word  Copyright Brandy Ann Coffee Marks 1990 Brandy A Coffee Marks, D.R.S.

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Presentation on theme: "3.2 Express Emotions The Way Healing Through The Word  Copyright Brandy Ann Coffee Marks 1990 Brandy A Coffee Marks, D.R.S."— Presentation transcript:

1 3.2 Express Emotions The Way Healing Through The Word  Copyright Brandy Ann Coffee Marks 1990 Brandy A Coffee Marks, D.R.S.

2 Last Week Devoted to Discipline By now, you’ve created a disciplined life and developed a plan for change. Often, when we want to change our life, emotions of fear and doubt may surface and undermine our peace of mind. This section offers ways you can learn to effectively express your emotions.

3 EMOTIONS Here are a few emotions taken from the Scriptures. Grief My heart is heavy with grief Mark AngerThey cannot escape God's anger.“ John3.26 FearI will show you who to fear - God. Luke 12:5 HappyI am happy because God is my Savior. Luke 1.47 AnxiousDo not be anxious about anything, Phil 4.6 Joy Then my joy is fulfilled. John 3.29 Sorrow Your sorrow will be turned into joy. John DespairWhen people sin, forgive and comfort them, so they won't give up in despair. 2Corinthians 2:7

4 On the fifth day, God gave new life to the earth. Birds flew, rabbits raced, and the great cats and kangaroos looked for their place in the world.

5 As we seek our place in the world, and we begin to make changes. safety of the known is replaced by... fear of the unknown Our animal emotions surface!

6 Spiritual Harmony is the key! God is the source of all harmony in our body, mind and soul (emotions). Throughout you have been developing a relationship with God learning to trust. It is your relationship with God that brings you into greater harmony with your self and other people as you learn to trust God.

7 What’s the Big Deal? Emotions control our thinking, actions and speech. Emotions affect your physical bodies as much as your body affects your feelings and how you think. People who ignore, dismiss, repress or ventilate their emotions, set themselves up for physical illness. Emotions that are not felt and released but buried in the body can cause serious illness, including cancer, arthritis, and many types of chronic illnesses. Negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, negativity, frustration and depression cause chemical reactions in your body that are very different from emotions such as happy, content, loved, accepted.

8 How do you usually respond to fear? What have you done in the past? __become angry or tearful? __get loaded, drunk, or? __sleep all the time? __ignore the person? __leave to avoid the situation? __other? (throw the person out; cheat on your marriage; get a divorce)

9 Underlying most of our behavior is our beliefs. Our belief system within filters what we see and hear, affecting how we behave in our daily lives. Other things affect our lives, but our belief system has a major effect on what we think, say and do. Your beliefs affect how you perceive and interpret what you see, hear and feel. For example, a person raised by an angry woman will view people in the future with beliefs that anger is bad or that it is something to fear. It takes a lot of work to identify the beliefs that affect your life in a negative ways. However, knowing and understanding your beliefs will give you a sound basis for emotional freedom.

10 There are two emotions that everyone experiences, love and fear. All other emotions are variations. Whether anxiety, anger, control, sadness, grief, shame, depression, inadequacy, confusion, hurt, loneliness, all are fear-based emotions. Joy, happiness, caring, trust, truth, compassion, truth, contentment, satisfaction are love-based emotions. Fearful emotions release one set of chemicals while love-based emotions release a different set. If the fear-based emotions are long-term or chronic they damage every other system in your body. When our immune system weakens, illness sets in. When God said, choose life or death, and we choose life, we alter our chemical makeup leading to health.

11 Emotions We Feel Our emotions can be broken down into three classes says J. Edmiston, author of Biblical EQ. A Christian handbook for emotional transformation.

12 Holy emotions Holy emotions are Gods emotions: compassion, joy, holy indignation and those with life in the Spirit: praise, worship and adoration. These emotions are from the kingdom of light and the Sprit (Ephesians 5:18-21, Colossians 3:16-17, Galatians 5:22,23) and are in agreement with true wisdom (James 3:17,18) They are the emotions of Christ in us and not necessarily religious. Admiring a flower or delighting in beautiful music or focusing on the beautiful and the good can be just as holy as going to church. (Philippians 4:8)

13 Human emotions Human emotions are based in our human situation and the created order and shared by Jesus during His time on earth. This includes: grief, pain, fear, abandonment, sadness and sorrow, anxiety, stress, anguish and vulnerability. These emotions are record in Psalms. For Christians they are temporary and in eternity there will be no more crying or sadness or pain (Revelation 21:4). While these emotions feel bad they are not evil or toxic. They are painful but they are not poisonous.

14 Fleshly emotions Fleshly Emotions are poisonous and destructive and include: malice, envy, selfish ambition, sensuality, bitterness, flesh lusts and murderous hatred. They are closely tied with the works of the flesh and with evil deeds. Their outcome is spiritual death. These emotions were not part of mankind at the Creation and are not “natural human reactions” (For instance grief is a natural human reaction but bitterness is of the flesh.) Rather these emotions are from the darkness and their source is Satan (James 3:14-16).

15 The Carnal Christian The poor control carnal Christians have over their emotional life is due to their lack of co-operation with the Holy Spirit and can be seen in: Poor Impulse Control: Giving in to sexual immorality, drunkenness and even in the disorder of their worship. Poor Anger Management: Most notably the congregation that James wrote to which were murdering each other (James 4:2) and the Galatians which were "biting and devouring" each other. (Galatians 5:15)

16 Disintegrating Relationships: Envying, factions, strife and contentions. ( 1 Cor. 3:3 Low Levels of Personal Motivation: Described as evil beasts and lazy gluttons (Titus 1:12-14), neglectful, dull of hearing, and in danger of drifting.). Instability: Following "the latest" false teachers who are emotionally persuasive (2Cor.11) and are tossed about by every wind of doctrine. Lack Of Basic Empathy and Compassion: Such as saying to a person who was without food or shelter "be warm and filled" and not doing anything! Or dishonoring the poor by making them sit in lowly places in church. (James 2).

17 A Toxic Tongue: Gossip, slander, and the like that proceeds from out of control emotions. (James 3) Poisonous Personality: Such people are described as a "root of bitterness that defiles many" or like the emotionally rigid Diotrephes who put himself first and controlled the church (3 John) Most important in a biblical intelligence is the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of the co-operating and Spirit-filled believer. Those most full of the Spirit are beings of deep emotional authenticity, Christians that grieve the Spirit are emotional wrecks.

18 Identifying Emotions God gave His Son to show us what holy and true emotions should look like He gave us the revelation in the Scriptures and their description of the emotional life He has given His natural revelation to scientists who so seek the truth about emotional growth. Combining these together we will find out how to directly achieve emotional growth That takes us to the next section that deals with how emotions are experienced

19 Sorrow comes with a loss, as when a parent, spouse, a marriage or a career is suddenly gone or we sin. Godly sorrow can bring repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death [from despair]. (2 Corinthians 7:10) Our sins can result in changed behavior. Many are sorry only for the result of their sins or for being caught, “which lacks repentance”. Compare Peter's remorse with Judas's bitterness and suicide. Both denied Christ. One repented and was restored; the other took his own life.

20 We may feel pounding pulse or racing heart, flushed or tingling skin, thoughts are sharp or mixed, racing from one idea to the next. "What sort of new teaching is this?" they asked excitedly. "It has such authority! Even evil spirits obey Him!“ (Mk 1:27) EXCITEMENT is felt as an overall sense of well-being, anxiety, cheerful, delight, happiness, or elation.

21 ANGER can be a blinding fury, resentment, hatred, hostility, annoyance, or irritation. We may have a headache from tension. We obsessively focus on what we believe is the source of our anger. Never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. Scripture says, "I will take revenge; I will pay them back," says the LORD. (Romans 12:19) Our responsibility is to love one another

22 ANXIETY is concern, fear, impatience, unease, troubled, tense, and nervous. We may feel tension, our thoughts are distracted and confused, and we are unable to focus on any one thing. Unable to sleep or relax, we worry, and may obsess on the source of anxiety. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, ask God for help. ---Philippians 4:6

23 SECURE is confident, positive attitude, calm, serene, peace of mind, assured. Physically we are relaxed and at ease, able to think rationally but without feeling as if we "have to" think at all. There is a general sense of well-being and of being at peace with the world. Those who fear the LORD are secure; He will be a refuge for their children. (Proverbs 14:26)

24 LOVE There is a general sense of well-being, with a lack of concern and pleasurable thoughts. Feeling loved means feeling secure! Love is patient and kind, is not jealous, boastful, proud or rude. It does not demand its own way, is not irritable, nor keep score of wrongs. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices in truth. Love never gives up; love is always hopeful, and enduring … (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

25 Each day tune in to and identify emotions or feelings in the moment. Consider common emotions you experience then read related Scriptures and pray. We have feelings at every moment. Feelings are not the problem It's how we respond to those feelings that makes the difference. Jesus’ had feelings and responded to them, and was not always calm, cool and collected about it, however, he was always appropriate.

26 Jesus was Angry – Mark 8:33; Matt 11:20-24; 21:12-13; 23:13-36; Mark 3:5 Jesus was angry at injustice; however...  He directed his anger at the right person,  He was never angry inappropriately; and  He never treated a person with violence. There are some questions in this regard when he made a whip to drive people out of the temple. He Cried - Luke 19:41-44; John 11:35-36 He felt Joy –Matt 9:9-10; Luke 19:7; 7:36; 11:37; 14:1; John 12:2; 15:11;

27 Exasperated when misunderstood, he said, “How many times must I explain it to you” Luke 7:31-35; Mark 8:11-13; 14-21; and in Mark 10:14 he was indignant. He felt Pity - Matthew 14:13-14; 15:32-39; 20:29- 34; Mark 6:34; Luke 7:11-17 In pity he encouraged: Matthew 9:2 and showed concern for his disciples Mark 6:31 He was overcome by Fear – in Gethsemane He admitted to his fear (Luke 22:44) He gave his fears to God (Luke 22:44) He replaced fear with courage (Matt 26:46)

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29 Spiritual Healing Our healing process begins with our calling from God. This calling imparts to our minds spiritual understanding previously unavailable to us. God removes our spiritual blinders, enabling us to see ourselves more as we really are. He gives us an understanding of His laws and the recognition of our need to repent and to receive His Spirit. This is a vital in the process of spiritual healing. Jesus said, "Lest they should understand with their hearts and turn, so that I should heal them" (Matthew 13:15).

30 Scripture identifies mental and emotional healing as crucial to Jesus Christ's ministry. (Luke 4:18). In the healing process of the transformation from "the old" to "the new (wo)man" we are urged to "not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2). We are to leave our old self - stop living the evil way as before. That old self gets increasingly worse for we are fooled by the evil we want to do. We must be made new in our hearts and in our thinking [we are to be like God]. (Ephesians 4:22-24). "God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him" (1 John 4:16).

31 Jesus cleansed the temple of wrongdoing, expressed righteous anger, yet was without sin. (John 2:14-17). In contrast to Christ's example, mankind's history is replete with uncontrolled anger resulting in sin. Explosive anger shattered the first human family. Cain's unbridled anger erupted into the murder. Uncontrolled and unresolved anger can prevent us from healing emotionally. When hurt or offended by another, God wants us to forgive, and pray for the offender. Harboring anger makes it difficult, if not impossible, to forgive others. This is especially true when we ruminate on the offenses.

32 The Answer: Forgiveness God's forgiveness of our sins is not unconditional. "Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear" (Isaiah 59:1-2). When we repent, God applies the perfect sacrifice of Jesus on our behalf. Through this process, the penalty for our sin is paid. Our sins are forgiven, and the slate is wiped clean. "As far as the east is from the west He has removed our sins from us" (Psalm 103:12).

33 Jesus Christ has given us specific instruction that helps us to understand that forgiving others is not just a recommended course of action. “… if you have anything against anyone, forgive, so your Father in heaven may forgive your trespasses. If you do not, God will not forgive you" (Mk 11:25-26). Another part of forgiveness that will be covered in the next section is about not remembering as well. “I know that I still have a long way to go. But there is one thing I do: I forget what is in the past and try as hard as I can to reach the goal before me. (Philippians 3:13). Thus, once we’ve forgiven we put the offense out of our mind, we forget it.

34 Our willingness and efforts to forgive others are an essential part of emotional healing. If we refuse to forgive, our own emotional healing becomes short-circuited. It is only through forgiving that we begin to heal from the effects of anger, turmoil, pain and grief. We must be willing to deal constructively with our past then move forward with confidence in God. God's solution for us may seem irrational to us. "Therefore if your enemy hungers, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head" (Romans 12:20).

35 EXERCISE Put on some godly music and use sight, sound, and touch to create harmonious movement. Sing and move to the words of Scripture: 1 Make a joyful noise to the L ORD, all you lands. 2 Serve the L ORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing. 3 Know that the L ORD is God: it is he that has made us; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. 4 Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, enter his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. 5 For the L ORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endures to all generations.

36 MANAGING EMOTIONS God made you and placed you at this moment in time, to love the unlovable, be peace in turmoil, and show defiant joy in every situation. This may seem impossible, but you can do this by learning what the Bible says about your natural human emotions and how to manage them. This section covers the ordinary and sometimes extraordinary challenges we each face each day, and offers Biblical references on how to manage your emotions in a Godly way.

37 Emotions How do you use your emotions as a means to move away from people, from God? When did you last move away from the will of God and not walk in the Spirit? What was God asking you to do? How could you use your emotions to move toward closeness with God or others? Talk about my feelings of …. Let other people know I am afraid.

38 Your Emotions What Emotions do you experience and respond to frequently? What action do they prepare you for? When angry, I prepare to (fight; leave; etc.) What do emotions mean to you? It’s not okay to be angry? I’m too embarrassed/vulnerable to cry. How could you use your mind to overcome angry, fearful or anxious emotions?

39 Holy Spirit Leading While the Holy Spirit may be leading us to do some thing our emotions can get in the way When emotions are involved and we get excited about whatever we may see those emotions as confirmation of God's will. This is not necessarily so… That feeling may be nothing more than adrenalin (excitement) or norepinephrine (pleasant feeling) that has us heading in the opposite direction of God’s plan for our life.

40 Holy Spirit Leading Have you been excited about something that you thought was confirmation of God's will? What did you feel? What did you do about it? Was it excitement you felt? Was it just a pleasant feeling? What was the outcome – good or bad?

41 Satan and Emotions The Spirit may lead us to do a certain thing, and our emotions don’t want to do what God has revealed. Confronting clients who live in sin is awkward. Fear or anxiety—tools of Satan--can keep us from moving with the will of God. God challenges us to confront one another in love It can be hard to obey God. Satan uses our emotions - or lack thereof - to keep us out of God's will. By not confronting sin in a person we allowed them to remain in sin and end up in hell, perhaps.

42 To serve - Emotions or? Choose this day whom you will serve [your emotions or God] –Joshua 24:15. What’s it like being a slave to emotion? The wise hear and increase in learning, and the person of understanding acquires skills and attains to sound counsel [so you can steer your course rightly]--Proverbs 1:5 What learning or skills do you need?

43 Enjoy Emotions We can and should enjoy our emotions, however, there are times when they work against us, such as when we listen to the emotion rather God. Jesus knew all about our joys and miseries, and lived them with us; he felt our joy and sorrow. An emotional scene in the OT is Joseph’s when he sees his brother, Benjamin. Genesis 43:30-31 “Joseph hurried out, overcome with emotion for his brother. … He went to an inner room to weep. Then he washed his face and came out. Once composed, he said, ‘Serve the meal.’”

44 HARMFUL EMOTIONS A. Anger 1. Genesis 4:1-8 Cain killed his brother because of uncontrolled anger in his heart. B. Fear 1. Genesis 20:2, 3, 11, Abraham lied to Abimelech about Sarah because he was afraid for his life. 2. Exodus 2:11-15, Moses fled Egypt out of fear. C. Jealousy and Envy 1. 1 Kings 21:1-14 King Ahab caused the death of Naboth because of his jealousy and envy.

45 D. Terror 1. Daniel 5:6-9 King Belshazzar of Babylon couldn’t stop shaking when he saw the hand that wrote. E. Lust 1. 2Samuel 11:1-5 David let the emotion of lust lead him into the sin of adultery with Bathsheba. F. Hatred 1.2Samuel 13:2-20 Amnon lusted for his half- sister, Tamar, which led him to rape her, and afterwards hate her. G. Greed and Covetousness 1. Joshua 7:16-21 Achan brought defeat down on Israel because of his greed and deception.

46 G. Greed and Covetousness 1. Joshua 7:16-21 Achan brought defeat upon Israel because of his greed and deception. H. Depression 1. 1 Samuel 28:15-25 King Saul became depressed when he received God’s message from Samuel that God had rejected him as king for good reason. I. Guilt 1. Matthew 27:3-10 Judas killed himself because of the guilt he felt after betraying Christ. J. Resentment and hatred 1. Saul (later known as apostle Paul) persecuted the Lord’s Church because he resented and hated it. Acts 9:4-9 and Acts 26:9-12

47 K. Pride and arrogance 1. 3 John 9 Diotrephes was a trouble maker in the early church because of pride and arrogance. L. Selfishness 1. Acts 5:1-11 Ananias and Sapphira lied to God because of the selfishness in their hearts. M. Sorrow 1. Mark 10:22 The rich young ruler, out of sorrow for not being willing to give up his riches, walked away from an opportunity to follow Jesus. By contrast the Bible reveals Gods many emotions. A. The heart of God is mentioned in Genesis 6:6 – “The Lord regretted He made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart.”

48 B. Grieved. 1. Psalm 78:40 – “How they rebelled against Him in the wilderness and grieved Him in the desert.” C. Wrath and displeasure 1. Psalm 2:5 – “He speaks to them in His anger and terrifies them in His displeasure.” D. Laughing. 1. Psalm 2:4 – “The One enthroned in heaven laughs; the Lord ridicules them.” E. Anger 1. Jeremiah 7:18-19 The anger of God against the people for bringing shame upon themselves.

49 F. Joy 1. Isaiah 6:2-5 The joy of God is referred to by the prophet Isaiah. G. Love. 1. John 3:16 God loved the world so much that he provided his own son for its salvation. H. Vengeance 1. Deuteronomy 32:35 God brings vengeance upon evil doers. I. Hate 1. Deuteronomy 16:21-22 God hates graven images that are made represent Him or take His place.

50 Emotions of Jesus A. Compassion 1. Matthew 9:362. Jesus was a man of compassion he was moved inwardly with feelings, emotions. B. Anger 1. Mark 3:5 Jesus was angry, but he felt very sad because they were so stubborn. C. Weeping 1. Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus. John 11:32-35 (sympathy and sorrows of others) b. He wept over the city of Jerusalem. Luke 19:41 c. Wept in the garden of Gethsemane. Hebrews 5:7

51 D Agony... anguish 1. Luke 22:44 – “Being in anguish [agony], He prayed more fervently, and His sweat became like drops of blood falling to the ground.” E. Love 1. John 20:2 So she ran to Simon Peter and the other follower (the one Jesus loved very much with a tender affection). F. Groaned 1. John 11:38 Jesus groaned in His spirit. G. Sighed 1. Mark 8:12 Jesus sighed deeply; 7:34 Jesus looked to the sky and with a loud sigh he said, “Open” and the man could speak.

52 H. Cried out 1. Matthew 27:46 It is said that Jesus experienced every form of pain in His death on the cross. Crying out was one way He found relief from His pain. I. Sorrowful & Heavy in spirit 1. Matthew 27:46 Jesus experienced deep emotions. J. Joy 1. John 15:11; 17:13 The Lord wanted to share His joy with His people. K. Loneliness 1. Matthew 26:40-46; John 6:15; Luke 9:18 This was because of the agony that was before Him.

53 L. Control of His emotions Jesus was in complete control of his emotions 1 Peter 2:23 – “When reviled, He did not revile in return; when suffering, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to the One who judges justly. ” Note: Jesus was not a stoic who was above feelings. Isaiah 53:4 – “Yet He Himself bore our sicknesses, and He carried our pains; but we in turn regarded Him stricken, struck down by God, and afflicted.” Jesus was human with emotions just like ours, yet he did not give into the emotion and sin. He clung to what was good out of love for us.

54 Romans 12 instruct us that “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” (V9) But what is sincere love? “Rejoice with those who rejoice;” he says. “Mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another.” (Vv15, 16). It would seem that part of genuine love means we are willing to express and share in, or experience, one other’s emotional experiences. To love someone in their joy is to share that joy, to feel it. To love someone in their suffering and misery is to feel it; thus, for us to stand apart and intellectually observe, simply isn’t enough.

55 Walled Emotions When a person has been badly hurt, they tend to develop a hardness of heart and build walls to protect themselves. Everyone has feelings, but some people choose not to reveal theirs and become callous so as not feel anything. Breaking down the walls by the Word is needed - through a spiritual mind. Building a trusting relationship with God is the most important step in that process.

56 Broken Walls When have you been badly hurt? Have you ever had a hardness of heart and built walls to protect yourself? Describe. Have you chosen not to reveal feelings and kept silent when someone was hurting? How could you strengthen your spiritual mind and break down your walls?

57 A Spiritual Mind “Establish the righteous; for You, Who try the hearts and minds” Psalm 7:9 Now the mind of the flesh is death. But the mind of the Spirit is life and peace--Romans 8:6. If we follow our emotions - we pay a price for the carnal mind is hostile to God and does not submit to His Law. Romans 8:7 What price have you paid for being carnal and hostile to God’s will? Daily we must consciously choose to center our life on God and strive to do His will.

58 Carnal Impulses … as long as there is envy, jealousy, arguing and division among you, you are not being spiritual but of the flesh, behaving like mere men -- 1Corinthians 3:3. The unspiritual behave this way, because they live by human nature, controlled by "impulses," and not the Spirit of God. They need to change their habits and respond with fruits of the Spirit being patient, kind, generous, and well disciplined.

59 Impulses Where is your envy and jealousy? With whom do you argue divisively? What does your behavior look like? How do your impulses control you? Have you been led by the Spirit? What habits do you need to change?

60 Breaking Habits Breaking any habit is a struggle; it’s a fight within that requires God, "Lord, help me"; And knowing that the Holy Spirit is always with us to help at all times. However, we must make the choice to do what is right in God’s sight. What choices/changes do you need to make?

61 Choices Ask; it will be given; seek, you will find; knock and the door will open (Luke 11.9) God expects us to do our part too, while asking Him for what we need, seeking and looking for the doors he will open. God gives us the ability to do whatever is needed, but we must choose wisely.

62 Wisdom The beginning of Wisdom is: get Wisdom! With all you have, get understanding (Proverbs 4:7.) To get wisdom, you must decide to go after it. This takes a determination not to abandon the search once you begin, no matter how difficult the road may become. Thus we see through the lies Satan speaks and past the feelings he stirs within us. We keep our eyes on the Word of God and do what it says, not what we feel like doing. Therefore, we have become wise.

63 Commit Your Way As such, commit your way to the Lord and be led by the Spirit - not by your emotions. When an emotion rises, test it to see if it is of God. If it is not, resist it. Thus we struggle against our emotions - by using our free will to make a decision. We turn to Jesus who understood, having been tempted and overcame.

64 Committed So, commit your way to the Lord and be led by the Spirit - not by your emotions. What emotions often rise to tempt you? Anger, sadness, anxiety, grief, fear How do you experience them? Your attitude toward others or situations? How can your freewill help you do what is right in God’s sight?

65 Jesus and Emotions Jesus was touched with the feelings of our infirmities, and was in all ways tempted just as we are, yet he was without sin. Do you feel hope, knowing that, as a man, if Jesus managed, you can too? How was Jesus tempted just as you are? Imagine coming boldly to the throne and finding mercy and grace to help in your time of need?

66 Rely and Refuse Jesus experienced every emotion as do you and I, He did not give in to His feelings. He relied on the Word of God and refused to be tempted to sin. It is not a matter of thinking, "I shouldn't feel this way"; But a matter of knowing you have a choice; You can cry out to God and allow the fruit of the Holy Spirit to lend self-discipline and control to your emotions. (Gal. 5:23.)

67 Brotherly Love Love without hypocrisy, avoid evil, cleave to good; love one another, love fervently Be diligent not slothful, fervent in spirit, serve the Lord; rejoice in hope, patient in misery, and steadfast in prayer, give to the saints needs Bless those who persecute you and do not curse. Rejoice with rejoicing ones, and weep with those who weep; mind the same toward one another, not the high things, but yielding to the lowly. Do not be wise within yourselves. Repay no one evil for evil. Provide things honest to all men.

68 Now we Rejoice Consider how can you apply each of these? Rejoice with rejoicing ones. When someone is happy be happy not resentful toward them. Weep with the weeping ones. Give comfort mind the same thing toward one another and do not mind high things, but yield to lowly Do not be wise within yourselves Repay no one evil for evil Provide things honest in the sight of all men

69 If it is possible, As far as is in you, be in peace with all (wo)men. Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but put away your anger; it is written, “Revenge is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord." Therefore if your enemy hungers, feed him/her. If s/he thirsts, give them something to drink. For in doing you heap coals of fire on their head (you let their own guilt eat away at them). Do not behave as evil people, but overcome evil by doing good toward those who are evil.

70 Make it Happen How could you be in peace? How can you avoid revenge? As a metaphor… What could you feed your enemy? What could you give her/him drink? How does this heap coals of fire on him. How can you overcome evil with good?

71 Get Understanding All wisdom comes from the LORD, as does … understanding. Proverbs 2:6 Jesus showed understanding toward people How can you give this message to others, no matter your past or present feelings? Satan wants us to be hard and callous so we cannot feel or be sensitive to others. Imagine you are being sensitive to even your enemies and showing them love.

72 Sensitivity God wants us to be sensitive to the feelings and needs of others and less so to our own. We are not to be led by our feelings, but be moved in compassion and understanding, So we may be able to comfort those who are in all minds of trouble, in the same comfort we ourselves were comforted by God. (2 Corinthians 1:4). How does God comfort you?

73 Not About You Jesus did not feel like going to the cross [in an agony He prayed more earnestly], yet subjected His self to the will of God. He knelt down and prayed: “Father, if You will [he knew God’s will], remove this cup from Me.” Jesus wanted out of the situation he faced, yet at the same time he knew his sacrifice was the only way. Thus he was able to follow through and complete his life journey. Imagine how he might have felt if he had given up and ran from his destiny. How would you feel?

74 Blood, Sweat & Tears Yet not My will, but Yours be done. And an angel appeared, strengthening Him. … His sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground. (Luke 22:41-44) Jesus knew about emotions!

75 Fires of Affliction “Establish the righteous; for You, Who try the hearts and minds” Psalm 7:9 In this Psalm and Revelation 2:23 God searches minds (thoughts and purposes) and [emotions] heart, and tries or tests us until purified. If God searched your mind and emotions, what would he likely find? How have you been tried and tested?

76 Discipline and Control How are you going to learn discipline of your thoughts or emotions unless God allows you some trying times? God never allows us more than we can bear. (1 Corinthians 10:13.) If the Lord does not allow such testing times then we will never learn to deal with Satans’ when he brings them upon us.

77 Trying Times Trying times are learning times. Much like athletes endurance trials train them for the big race, so God train us to fulfill His purpose and run the race for our lives. Looking back, can you see how God has trained you for some purpose? What? Certain emotional conditions also provide trying times to manage. How do you manage trials of endurance?

78 Bi-Polar Disorder “Manic depressive,” also Bi-Polar disorder, is disordered emotions that fluctuate from one polar extreme to the next. Anyone can learn to resist the depressed and the high emotions, if they choose to. There will always be days when a person is up and days when they are down. The key is to balance the emotions, not accept the highs and reject the lows.

79 Stability is Important Being honest with our self and with others is crucial to our stability. People close to us can sense our struggles and if we are honest with them about what we are going through they can offer assistance. Whether anger, depression, or any emotion, our family or friends have the opportunity to encourage and support us in our need.

80 Stability is Important Can you be honest with people about your emotions and struggles? If not, why not? When you have been honest with others and have they offered support? Which of your family or friends have been there to encourage and support you? If no one, how do you manage?

81 I’ve Got the Power Whatever we hide has power over us. We must bring everything out of darkness into the light of honesty, then they lose their grip on us immediately. John 8:32 says that the truth will set us free and James 5:16 encourages the confession of faults to one another so that we may be healed and restored to spiritual health.

82 Where’s your Power? What is hidden that has power over you? Could you bring it out of the darkness into the light of honesty and openness? If you have already done this, how did it feel to have that grip on you loosened? How has the truth set you free? Have you confessed faults to another? In what way were you healed/ restored?

83 Respect: Give to Receive We respect people who are open, honest and straightforward just as they respect us if we are the honest with them. The trick is not to cater to our emotions, giving into fear and doubt. God helps if we continually trust Him and follow the lead of the Holy Spirit.

84 Catering to Emotions Part of the price we may pay is not living the Spirit-filled life God wants for us. In what way do you cater to your desires? Everyone who is ruled by the Holy Spirit thinks about spiritual things--Ro 8:5. How different does this feel from catering to your desires, yourself or emotions?

85 Vice Versa We sigh and look within; Jesus sighed and looked without. We sigh and look down; Jesus sighed and looked up. We sigh and look to earth. Jesus sighed and looked to heaven. We sigh and look to man. Jesus sighed, and looked to GOD! --Octavius Winslow He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk as He walked John 2:6

86 I Will Never Leave You "He who sent Me is with Me. The Father has not left Me alone, for I always do what pleases Him” -- John 8:29 "..be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." -- Heb 13:5 (VW) How does that feel, knowing that God will always be there with you?

87 A Weakness Some people see emotions as a weakness, and feel guilty when experiencing emotions of anger or sorrow. Many Christians believe that Jesus was detached from his emotions, and that is how we should be. Yet, the gospels reveal that Jesus was very emotional. He wept. He felt anger, and in the Garden of Gethsemane shortly before His arrest... Mark 14:32-42

88 A Man of Sorrows 32. They came to a place which was named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, "Sit here while I pray." 33. And He took Peter, James and John with Him, and He began to be troubled and deeply distressed. 34. He said to them, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay and watch.“

89 Fearful and Frustrated He fell on the ground, … He said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will." Jesus knew God’s will from the start! Then He came and found the disciples sleeping, and said to Peter, "Simon, are you sleeping? Could you not watch one hour? “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak.“ Jesus subjected his weak flesh to the will of God. How many of us can say this?

90 Time and Again Again He went away and prayed, and spoke the same words. And when He returned, He found them asleep again, for their eyes were heavy; and they did not know what to answer Him. He came the third time, "Are you still sleeping, and resting?”. It is enough! The hour has come; behold, the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. When stressed and we don’t know what to do, often, a person will sleep.

91 The Betrayal Rise. Let us be going. My betrayer is at hand.“ see Luke 22:44 No matter what the emotions that we feel, Jesus knew and understood. However, He chose to respond different from the way many of us do. While frustrated that they slept on, he did not berate them but endured with patience. He knew that they did not understand the full impact of what was about to happen to him.

92 Doctrine of the Cross  Anyone who desires to come after me, must deny their self, pick up their cross daily and come follow me—Luke 9:23 To express emotion as Jesus did means to deny our desire for emotional displays or our denial of emotion, and Instead respond thoughtfully and with love and honesty toward others. How hard or easy would that be for you?

93 HOMEWORK Success Strategies

94 EMOTIONS Pay attention to situations, people or places that trigger emotions and your response. What helps you to relax and be at peace? What feelings are you aware of in yourself? What feelings are you aware of in others? Where do you "feel" feelings? (body, mind) o Body becomes tense; mind is chaotic/anxious Consider how Jesus responded and what you can do different with your feelings. Write about what or how you feel about an event.

95 JOURNAL Pay attention to situations, people or places and journal about emotional issues.  What happened? Do not interpret events.  Who was present? The person’s name only  Where were you? Some places are triggers  How did you respond? Feelings and actions Rate your response from 1 (+) – 10 (-) What would you like to change/do different?

96 NEXT 3.3 Forgiveness


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