Presentation on theme: "Lift Your Low Self Esteem Week 1 – Introduction to Low Self Esteem"— Presentation transcript:
1 Lift Your Low Self Esteem Week 1 – Introduction to Low Self Esteem LET’S TALKLET’S TALKLift Your Low Self EsteemWeek 1 – Introduction to Low Self EsteemWritten by Rebecca Emmerson, Dec 2010adapted from Melanie Fennell’s book “Overcoming Low Self Esteem”with kind permission from the author
2 WELCOME House keeping: fire exits, toilets, refreshments Introductions, who we areIAPT QuestionnairesRosenberg QuestionnaireKeeping safeCongratulations on making the first steps towards making change!
3 Introduce yourself to the person next to you Ice BreakerIntroduce yourself to the person next to you
4 Group StructureWeekly from pm (with some groups in the day time) but not in any ‘school’ holidaysBased on the Work by Dr Melanie FennellBenefits of CBT effective for self esteemPsycho-educational group not a therapy groupNot here to give you high self esteem, here to provide you with coping strategies to allow you to improve your own self esteem.Weekly tasksWeek one effect!
5 Aims of the Course To provide an understanding of self esteem; To gain knowledge of how low self esteem develops and is maintained;To strengthen positive beliefs about yourself;To encourage self acceptance;To learn to recognise helpful and unhelpful thoughts;To identify our Bottom Line and Rules for Living;To provide encouragement and support in learning different ways of thinking and acting, that will help to improve self esteem;To facilitate a supportive environment in which students may share experiences and learn from the group.Learn various Relaxation exercises
6 What rules would you like the group to agree to over the next 8 weeks? Group RulesWhat rules would you like the group to agree to over the next 8 weeks?
7 What is your favourite food? Ice BreakerWhat is your favourite food?
8 Aims of Today’s Session What is Self Esteem?How does Low Self Esteem develop?How is Low Self Esteem maintained?How does Low Self Esteem effect us?Introducing the CBT modelThe continuum of Self EsteemPositive Notebook ExerciseDiaphragmatic Breathing
9 Group Exercise What do we mean by Self Esteem? What is Low Self Esteem?Can we think of people in the media who have Low Self Esteem?
10 A definition of Self Esteem “The overall opinion we have of ourselves, how we judge or evaluate ourselves, and the value we attach to ourselves as people.”Melanie Fennell (1999), ‘Overcoming low Self Esteem’
11 A definition of Low Self Esteem “(if you) feel your true self to be weak, inadequate, inferior or lacking in some way, if you are troubled by uncertainty and self–doubt, if your thoughts about yourself are often unkind and critical, or if you have any difficulty in feeling that you have any true worth or entitlement to the good things in life, these are signs your self esteem is low”Fennell, 1997
12 How Low Self Esteem develops Negative Early ExperiencesThe Bottom Line (beliefs)Rules for Living (assumptions)Trigger SituationsSituations in which the Rules for Living are (or may be) broken
13 How Low Self Esteem Develops - 1 Negative Early ExperiencesEvents, relationships:Rejection, neglect, abuse, criticism and punishmentLack of praise, interest, warmth or acceptanceBeing the ‘odd’ one out in your family or schoolThe Bottom LineNegative conclusions about yourself, basedon these experiences:‘I am bad’, ‘I am worthless’, ‘I am stupid’,‘I am not good enough’
14 How Low Self Esteem Develops - 2 Rules for LivingWays you think you should behave, because you believe the Bottom Line‘I must always put others first’, ‘If I say what I think, I will be rejected’, ‘Unless I do everything to the highest possible standard, I will achieve nothing’Trigger SituationsSituations in which the Rules for Living are (or may be) brokenBeing rejected, the possibility of failing, feeling that you might lose control
15 Group ExerciseBrainstorm early and later experiences that could contribute to low self esteem
16 Experiences Contributing to Low Self Esteem Early ExperiencesLater ExperiencesPunishment, neglect or abuseFailing to meet parental standardsFailing to meet peer group standardsBeing on the receiving end of other people’s stress or distressBelonging to a family or social group which is a focus for prejudiceAn absence of good things (praise, affection, warmth, interest)Being the “odd one out” at homeBeing the “odd one out” at schoolWork Place intimidation or bullyingAbusive relationshipsBreakdown of relationshipsPersistent stress or hardshipExposure to traumatic events
17 How Low Self Esteem is Maintained Activation of the Bottom Line‘I’m stupid’Negative predictions‘People think I’m stupid’AnxietyConfirmation of the Bottom LinePrediction left unchallenged, bottom line remains intactUnhelpful behaviour‘I’ll avoid the situation’Self-critical thinkingDepressionTrigger situationsSituation which Rules for Living might be broken‘I must not say anything as no one will want to hear it’
19 ‘The Jelly Baby Exercise’ Split into groups and discuss how low self esteem effects:ThoughtsFeelingsBehavioursPhysical(split into 4 groups and take one each to discussWrite on post it notes and place on the jelly baby!)
20 Thoughts and Feelings Thoughts Self criticism Self blame Self doubt Negative thoughtsDiscounting praise and complimentsFocuses on weaknesses and flawsLack of self acceptanceFeelingsSadnessAnxietyDepressionGuiltWorthlessShameFrustrationAngerDisabling self consciousnessOver sensitivity
21 Behaviour and Physical Symptoms Not asserting needsReduced ability to speak outApologetic stanceAvoiding challenges and opportunitiesBowed posture - bowed headAvoidance of eye contactHushed voice - Hesitancy - ShynessExcessive drinking/smokingExcessive eagerness to pleaseBeing life and soul of the partyExcessive/lack of attention to appearanceAvoidanceChecking behavioursPhysicalFatigue/TirednessTensionLow EnergyUncomfortable body sensationsUnable to concentrateChanges in appetite and weightChanges in sleep pattern
22 Vicious Cycle of Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviours Situation: You have received an invite to go to a partyThought‘I won’t be able to cope everyone will think I’m an idiot’FeelingNervous, worriedBehaviourDecides not to go – avoids the situation
23 Group ExerciseWhat would someone be like if they had high self esteem?Can we think of people in the media who have high self esteem?
24 How would the following be different if we had High Self Esteem? Group ExerciseHow would the following be different if we had High Self Esteem?ThoughtsFeelingsBehavioursPhysical
25 Positive Cycle of Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviours Situation: You have received an invite to go to a partyThought‘’I’m looking forward to meeting new people” “going to have a good time”FeelingExcited, happy,BehaviourGoes to the party
26 Self Esteem Continuum LSE HSE “At home and socially I have low self esteem”“In my job as Sales Manager I have High Self Esteem”Able to move back and forth along the continuumSelf esteem varies according to the situations we are in and the people we are withSelf esteem varies throughout the life span
27 Continuum Course Objectives LSE HSENot here to give you “high self esteem”Not here to rid you of “low self esteem”Here to provide you with skills and techniques to lift your low self esteem!Where ever you are now the aim is to move a few steps forwardThe course will allow you to move forward along the continuum and be less vulnerable to falling backwards!
28 Positive Notebook Exercise Think of our minds as two cabinets. One holds negative information, the other positive information. The negative drawer is probably jammed full!Keep a ‘special’ notebook. Start keeping a log of all the good/positive things that happen in your day.The positive points you record have to be everyday things, things that happen to you or things you do that are positive. Then write down in a second column what each task says about you.You will end up with a store of pleasurable and confidence building memories
29 Positive Notebook Tips Buy yourself a nice notebook!Avoid using scraps of paper as these are easily lost. Start keeping a record of all the positive things that happen to you in a day.Decide on how many positive qualities you would like to record a day. Start small and build up.Record everyday things that are positive. In the second column write down ‘what does this say about me?’Future sessions will refer to this exercise!!!Positive actionWhat does this say about me?Went for a swimKeeping healthyCooked a Thai meal Helping son with homeworkAdventurous cookBeing a good parentBuy flowersCreating welcoming homeRang a friendSociable friendly person
30 Deep Diaphragmatic Breathing RelaxationDeep Diaphragmatic BreathingDiaphragmatic breathing, together with mental and physical relaxation, has been found to reduce high blood pressure and anxiety significantly.Diaphragmatic breathing counteracts all the unfortunate effects of poor breathing and is one of the most useful tools in stress management. Diaphragmatic breathing is completely ‘portable’. You can use it wherever and whenever you feel stressed and no one will know you are trying to relax as all you are doing is breathing correctly.
31 Share with your partner your best achievement to date! Closing ExerciseShare with your partner your best achievement to date!
32 Week 1 - Weekly Tasks Start Positive Notebook Exercise Observation of people with High & Low Self Esteem, note what you think!Diaphragmatic Breathing ExerciseRead Chapters 1, 2 and 3 of ‘Overcoming Low Self Esteem’ by Melanie Fennell for further supportive reading
34 Feedback of Weekly Task Positive NotebooksObservationsFeedback on Week One Effect
35 Aims of Session To explain what anxious predications are To explain how anxious predictions workTo explain link between anxiety and avoidanceGroup to learn how to identify anxious predictions and the precautions they takeGroup to learn how to check out anxious predictions
36 Predictions are okWe all make predictions about things in our environment.“If I turn the light switch off I know the room will go dark!”We learn through this experience and adapt accordingly.
37 What do we mean by Anxious Predictions? Group BrainstormWhat do we mean by Anxious Predictions?
38 Predictions in Low Self Esteem When we have low self esteem we make predictions about ourselves and view them as facts.We are referring to the fear we experience when our bottom line is activated and our rules for living are about to be broken .
39 We start generating predictions about what is going to go wrong. This triggers anxietyWe take precautions to prevent the worst from happening.Leads to confirmation of our bottom line!
40 The Vicious Cycle Activation of the Bottom Line Negative predictions ‘I’m stupid’Negative predictions‘People will think I’m stupid’AnxietyConfirmation of the Bottom LinePrediction left unchallenged, bottom line remains intactUnhelpful behaviour‘I’ll avoid the situation’Self-critical thinkingDepressionTrigger situationsSituation which Rules for Living might be broken‘I must not say anything as no one will want to hear it’Situation: You have to speak out in front of people in class
41 How Anxious Predictions Work Overestimating the chance that something bad will happenOverestimating how bad it will be if something bad does happenUnderestimating one’s own ability to deal with the worst, if it does happenUnderestimating outside resources
42 Anxious PredictionsMake you at risk to the things you are scared of. So you take precautions to protect yourself. Taking precautions means you never find out what would have happened and reinforces your beliefthat you can’t cope.
43 What keeps anxiety going? The “Fear of Fear” cycle:(or worrying about symptoms)More symptomsFear of fearSymptoms of anxietyMore worry(e.g. shaking, sweating etc.)
44 Longer term: loss of confidence Temporary relief of symptoms The Role of AvoidanceVicious cycle:Longer term: loss of confidenceFearMore avoidanceTemporary relief of symptomsAvoidanceMore fear
45 Anxiety is Normal Natural response to danger or stress Helps us survive by preparing our bodies to deal with threatAnxiety acts as the trigger for our bodies to release adrenalineAdrenaline makes the body work faster and harder so it can cope with danger by either fighting or running away – ‘fight or flight’ response
46 The Anxiety Curve Anxiety levels Time Anxiety reduces naturally over time. If you avoid things you never get to check this outAnxiety levelsTime
47 Exercise – Split into Groups In groups discuss the following questions 1. Identify situations that trigger anxiety.2. What do you notice happens to you when you become anxious, what feelings do you experience?3. What goes through your mind when you begin to feel anxious?4. What precautions do you take to avoid challenging situations?
48 Feedback to the Group your facilitator will write down your points for each question under each columnQ1.TriggerQ2. FeelingsQ3.ThoughtsQ4.Precautions
49 Can you identify your bottom line or rules for living? “I’m stupid” “I’m worthless” “I unlovable”Doesn’t matter at this point if you can’tIf you can, write them down for future sessions
51 PREDICTIONS AND PRECAUTIONS RECORD SHEET Date/TimeSituationWhat were you doing when you began to feel anxious?Emotions and body sensations (e.g. anxious, panicky, tense, heart racing) Rate 0 – 100 for intensityAnxious predictionsWhat exactly was going through your mind when you began to feel anxious? (e.g. thoughts in words, images) Rate 0 – 100% for degree of beliefPrecautionsWhat did you do to stop your predictions coming true? (e.g.avoid the situation, safety-seeking behaviours)Feelings(short term)(Long term)27/11Thinking about meal planned for this evening with old school friendsAnxious 80%Worried 75%Heart racing 80%Nervous 65%I haven’t seen friends for ages, wont know what to say, they will think I am boring, they will all be better than me and doing more interesting things.Made and excuse not to goRelief (ST)Let self down (LT)I am boring I don’t go outLonely (LT)
52 Checking out anxious predictions CHECKING OUT ANXIOUS PREDICTIONS RECORD SHEETDate/TimeSituationEmotions and BodySensations Rateintensity 0-100%Anxious PredictionsRate belief 0-100%AlternativePerspectives(Use the keyquestions on next sheet tofind other views ofthe situation). Ratebelief 0-100%Experiment1) What did you do instead of taking your usual precautions?2) What were the results?27/11Thinking about meal planned for this evening with old school friendsAnxious 80%Worried 75%Heart racing 80%Nervous 65%I haven’t seen friends for ages, wont know what to say, they will think I am boring, they will all be better than me and doing more interesting things. 96%It is my anxiety that makes me think this way. 60% Whenever I have seen them in the past it has been fine and we have all got on well. 65% They are nice people and have known me most of my life. 60%I went to meal. Really enjoyed catching up with friends, felt like no time had passed, like I had only seen them yesterday. They too were a little anxious about meeting up again.
53 Remember: key questions to help you find alternatives to anxious predictions What is the evidence to support what I am predicting?What is the evidence against what I am predicting?What alternative views are there? What evidence is there to support them?What is the worst that can happen?What is the best that can happen?Realistically, what is most likely to happen?If the worst happens, what could be done about it?
54 Week 2 - Weekly Tasks Predictions and Precautions Record Sheet Checking out Anxious Predictions SheetPositive NotebookRead Chapter 4 of ‘Overcoming Low Self Esteem’ by Melanie Fennell for further supportive reading on Anxious Predictions