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 Why is this necessary?  Statistics  Your duty as a parent  Sex Education vs. Sexual Abuse Prevention Education  Prepare yourself  What to know.

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Presentation on theme: " Why is this necessary?  Statistics  Your duty as a parent  Sex Education vs. Sexual Abuse Prevention Education  Prepare yourself  What to know."— Presentation transcript:

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2  Why is this necessary?  Statistics  Your duty as a parent  Sex Education vs. Sexual Abuse Prevention Education  Prepare yourself  What to know

3  What to Teach › Boundaries › Body parts › Safe touch vs. unsafe touch › Grooming behavior › No secrets › Stranger danger  K-5, middle school, high school  Resources  Q & A

4  Teaching children to protect themselves is part of the mandate of the Charter for Protection of Children & Young People adopted by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. June 2002.

5  1 in 5 girls & 1 in 10 boys will be sexually victimized before adulthood  86 % of sexual assaults perpetrated against children go unreported  In Texas, 1 in 5 women & 1 in 20 men are sexually assaulted-the vast majority before their 18th birthday

6  1 in 7 youth online (10 to 17-years-old) received a sexual solicitation or approach over the Internet  4% received an aggressive sexual solicitation - a solicitor who asked to meet them somewhere; called them on the telephone; or sent them offline mail, money, or gifts

7  34% had an unwanted exposure to sexual material -- pictures of naked people or people having sex  27% of the youth who encountered unwanted sexual material told a parent or guardian  42% told a parent or guardian IF the encounter was defined as distressing - episodes that made them feel very or extremely upset or afraid

8  It is the right of parents to educate, especially in the areas of: › morals › values › sexuality  Parents have the right to opt out of the mandatory teachings  Parents then “have the DUTY to give children adequate formation, appropriate to each child or young person’s state of development.”

9  Sex Education › Teaching children how to live as adults in a loving, chaste, sexual relationship with their marriage partner  Sexual Abuse Prevention Education › Teaching children about Touching Safety › Empowering children to resist the advances of child molesters & the lure of manipulative, controlling people who would exploit children for their own sexual gratification.

10  Know that children, in general, are comfortable learning about Touching Safety  Parents often exhibit more discomfort!  Be prepared!

11  Choose a setting where your child’s attention is focused on YOU!  Select a time where there are no interruptions or distractions  Allow enough time to answer completely all your child’s questions

12  Keep the rules simple & easy to understand › KISS--Keep It Simple Silly!!!!  Take advantage of ‘teachable moments’. › Ex: When a child asks a question that provides the opportunity to discuss Touching Safety  Give specific examples when describing safe touches vs. unsafe touches › When Daddy hugs you goodnight vs. when one child hits another

13  Be careful to avoid training children to fear others › Children & adults must know the difference between having a healthy suspicion vs. being afraid of everyone  Teach respect › A child who respects his or her own body & demands respect from others is more likely to be in control of his or her physical well-being than peers who lack an understanding of respect

14  Children must be able to identify & resist any touch that can harm them-sexual or non-sexual  Children must respect their own health & safety & the health & safety of others

15 Children MUST know:  The anatomically correct names for their private body parts  The difference between safe & unsafe touches  What to do if a child, adolescent, or adult touches them in an unsafe manner  That they cannot keep secrets about unsafe touches

16  Rules: discussing with your child the importance of rules for behavior around others  Respect: explaining why the rules are necessary - your child has a right to feel safe, but so does everyone else  Responsibility: the hard part - teaching your child to follow these rules through reminders and encouragement  Reading: encouraging your child's awareness of their social environment

17  Limits that define one person as separate from another or from others  Promote & preserve personal integrity  Give each person a clear sense of ‘self’ & a framework for how to function in relation to others  Bring order to our lives & empower each of us to determine how others will interact with us

18  Personal boundaries are formed during our early years  As we react to the attention we get from parents & other influential adults  Parents say & do things that model appropriateness of boundaries in relationships

19  Have some flexibility & some defined limits  Move appropriately in response to situations- out for strangers, in for intimates  Distinct enough to keep values & priorities clear  Open enough to communicate priorities to the right people, yet closed enough to withstand assault

20  Children are naturally curious!  Children who are not provided adequate answers from their parents or guardians, are MORE VULNERABLE to abuse  Head, shoulders, knees, & toes, eyes, ears, & mouth & nose! Include it in a game!

21  The names a doctor would use to describe body parts  Private body parts are ‘private’ for a reason  Private body parts are ‘off limits’ to almost everyone  Nobody has the right to touch or see a child’s private body parts except for keeping the child clean & healthy.

22  Teaching children about their private body parts, IS teaching them that it’s okay to ask questions about their body  Children who know they can ask their parents ANYTHING, are more likely to speak up if someone is inappropriate towards them

23  Teaching children the proper names for their body parts is giving your child the ability to accurately communicate  A child MUST communicate to parents, medical personnel, or even police if the child is ever harmed

24  Explain safe touch with a child’s own experiences: › Mom or Dad kisses you goodnight › Dad hugs you after he comes home from work › The ‘high five’ you gave Tommy when he made a basket at the ball game › Shaking hands with someone › A pat on the back  Why are these touches safe? › Have a good purpose › Not intended to hurt › Are familiar & safe

25  Any touch that is meant to hurt or scare someone › Hitting › Kicking › Punching › Tripping › Spitting › Touching private body parts (any place that a bathing suit covers)

26  Not all safe touches feel good › Ex: Doctor giving a shot  Not all unsafe touches hurt › Ex: Being shown affection by someone you don’t know well TEACH CHILDREN TO TRUST THEIR OWN INSTINCTS & TO SPEAK UP WHEN SOMETHING MAKES THEM UNCOMFORTABLE

27  A child molester grooms a child using techniques: 1. Choose the most vulnerable child 2. Engage the child in peer-like activities (playing with the children, playing games, etc.) 3. Desensitization of the child to touching 4. Isolating the child 5. Making the child feel responsible & thus less likely to disclose the abuse

28  It’s important to choose your words wisely. Don’t ask children to keep secrets  Use the word ‘surprise’ instead of secret in regards to Christmas presents, birthday plans, etc  There are NO secrets when it comes to personal & physical safety

29  Stranger Danger is important for children to understand but it doesn’t stop there  It’s not enough to just know what to do if a stranger approaches Most children are harmed by people they know, trust, & care about

30  How to send a clear message that unwanted behavior will not be tolerated  It’s okay and they are encouraged to yell NO!!!!!  They will NOT be in trouble for saying NO!!! Even if it’s uncle…  It is NOT safe to keep secrets about unsafe touches…even if the person apologizes or said it was an accident

31  3-5 Year Olds- › Teach children how to say NO!!!!! to someone who makes sexual advances or requests that causes a child to feel uncomfortable. Give your child direct answers to questions about sex  5-8 Year Olds- › Talk about safety away from home, scary experiences, & the difference between safe & unsafe touch

32  8-12 year olds- › Teach & focus on personal safety issues  year olds- › Discuss personal safety issues › Rape › Date rape › HIV & STD’s › Unintended Pregnancy

33  Counseling Institute of Irving › Dr. Craig Spillman, PhD-Parishioner  Coppell Counseling Center › Dr. Theresa Vo, PhD-Parishioner  Texas Woman’s University Counseling Center  University of North Texas Counseling Center      Department of Family & Protective Services

34  D. Finkelhor. (1994).“Current Information on the Scope and Nature of Child Sexual Abuse.” The Future of Children: Sexual Abuse of Children, 4, pg 37.  D. Finkelhor. (2002). Protecting God’s Children: A Time to Protect God’s Children. The National Catholic Risk Retention Group, Inc.  D. Finkelhor, K. J. Mitchell, & J. Wolak. (2006). Online Victimization of Youth: Five Years Later. Alexandria, Virginia: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, pgs 7-8, 33.  The United States' Stop It Now! Foundation


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