Presentation on theme: "Get it Right Get it Done Get Along Get Attention Task Focus"— Presentation transcript:
1 Get it Right Get it Done Get Along Get Attention Task Focus People FocusPassiveAggressiveIntent:Get it RightGet it DoneGet AlongGet AttentionBrinkman, R. and Kirschner, R. (2004) Dealing With People You Can’t StandNew York, McGraw-Hill
2 Normal Zone Get it Right Get it Done Get Along Get Appreciated When intent is not being met,people will become more…Task FocusPeople FocusPassiveAggressiveIntent:Get it RightGet it DoneGet AlongGet AppreciatedPerfectionistControllingAttention GettingApproval SeekingNormalZoneLess AssertiveMore AssertiveBrinkman, R. and Kirschner, R. (2004)Dealing With People You Can’t Stand New York, McGraw-Hill
3 Some Propositions We have practiced and learned patterns of behaviour Every behaviour has a purpose or intentWe choose behaviours (like we choose clothes to wear) to further our intent.
4 Some OptionsDo nothingWalk awayChange your attitude to themChange your behaviour
5 Skilful Communication Blending - to reduce differencesListen to understand and find things in commonShow you understandPlay back, clarify, summarise and confirm.Redirect - to build rapportListen to identify positive and real intentIdentify criteria that is valuedState your positive intentAppreciate criticism.
6 Some Approaches Behavioural Types Characteristics Approaches Whiner No Unfair worldNothing ever rightHelpless/OverwhelmedForm problem solving allianceListen and interruptGet specificShift focus to solutionsShow the futureDraw the lineNoNegativeNo solutions/way outCan be mild manneredMove to problem solvingGo with flowUse person as resourceLeave the door openAcknowledge good intentNothingSays littleNo feedbackNo reactionGet them to talkPlan enough timeOpen questionsLighten up
7 Some Approaches Behavioural Types Characteristics Approaches Tank ConfrontationalPointed and angryPushy and aggressiveCommand respectHold your groundInterrupt the attackPlay back main pointsAim for bottom linePeace with honourSniperRudeSarcasticScoffingBring out of hidingStop, look, play backUse questioningLook for grievancesSuggest ‘civil’ futureKnow-it-AllDislikes correctionBlack is whiteBlames othersOpen their mindsBe preparedRespectful play backPresent views indirectlyTurn them into a mentor
8 Some Approaches Behavioural Types Characteristics Approaches Grenade Unfocused rantingCalm between ravingTake control of situationGet their attentionAim for the heartReduce intensityTry preventionMaybeIndecisiveProcrastinationDecision makes itselfHelp them learn to think decisivelyEstablish comfort zoneClarify options/conflictsFocus on decision makingReassure and follow-upStrengthen relationshipYesAvoid confrontationPlease peopleOver commitGet commitments to count onMake it safe to be honestHelp plan and prioritiseEnsure commitment