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Understanding Anti-Bullying Behavior: Creating a Welcoming School Climate Creating a Welcoming School Climate Circle Middle School Benton, Kansas August.

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Presentation on theme: "Understanding Anti-Bullying Behavior: Creating a Welcoming School Climate Creating a Welcoming School Climate Circle Middle School Benton, Kansas August."— Presentation transcript:

1 Understanding Anti-Bullying Behavior: Creating a Welcoming School Climate Creating a Welcoming School Climate Circle Middle School Benton, Kansas August 23-24, 2012 Presenters:Dr. Katherine Sprott & Jessie Myles Kansas State University Midwest Equity Assistance Center 1

2 2 What is an American?

3 3 What do Americans believe?

4 …Preamble to Declaration of Independence “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with inherent and inalienable rights; that among these, are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. 4

5 Establish justice, Establish justice, 5  Insure domestic tranquility,  Provide for the common defense,  Promote the general welfare, and  Secure the blessings of liberty to  ourselves and our posterity,  Do ordain and establish  this

6 What is bullying? How does bullying misrepresent the values of an American? 6

7

8 Definition: Bullying occurs when a “person is exposed repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more persons,” and involves an imbalance of power between the bully and the victim. - Olweus. Blueprints for Violence Prevention, Book Nine: Bullying Prevention Program.

9 TYPES OF BULLYING Direct Bullying Direct Bullying Indirect Bullying Indirect Bullying Verbal Aggression Verbal Aggression Written Aggression Written Aggression Sexual Harassment Sexual Harassment Racial and Cultural Harassment Racial and Cultural Harassment Cyberbullying Cyberbullying

10 Direct Bullying Hitting, kicking, shoving, spitting… Hitting, kicking, shoving, spitting… Taunting, teasing, racial and cultural slurs, verbal and written harassment Taunting, teasing, racial and cultural slurs, verbal and written harassment Threatening, obscene gestures, cyberbullying Threatening, obscene gestures, cyberbullying

11 Indirect Bullying Getting another person to bully someone for you Getting another person to bully someone for you Spreading rumors Spreading rumors Deliberately excluding someone from a group or activity Deliberately excluding someone from a group or activity Cyber-bullying Cyber-bullying

12 Cyberbullying Cyberbullying Definition: “The willful and repeated harm influenced through the use of computers, cell phones, and other electronic devices.” A Troubling Trend…

13 Video How can you stop bullying? 13

14 How to Stop Bullying Refuse to join. Refuse to join. Walk away when bullies are acting up. Walk away when bullies are acting up. Distract the bully so he or she stops the bullying behavior. Distract the bully so he or she stops the bullying behavior. Report any bullying you see. Report any bullying you see. Speak out. Speak out. Stand beside the bully’s target. Stand beside the bully’s target. Work with others to reduce bullying. Work with others to reduce bullying.

15 What to Do If You’re Bullied Look at the kid bullying you and tell him or her to stop in a calm, clear voice. Look at the kid bullying you and tell him or her to stop in a calm, clear voice. You can also try to laugh it off. You can also try to laugh it off. This works best if joking is easy for you. It could catch the kid bullying you off guard. This works best if joking is easy for you. It could catch the kid bullying you off guard. If speaking up seems too hard or not safe, walk away and stay away. If speaking up seems too hard or not safe, walk away and stay away. Don’t fight back. Find an adult to stop the bullying on the spot. Don’t fight back. Find an adult to stop the bullying on the spot. 15

16 What to Do If You’re Bullied Talk to an adult you trust. Talk to an adult you trust. Don’t keep your feelings inside. Don’t keep your feelings inside. Telling someone can help you feel less alone. Telling someone can help you feel less alone. They can help you make a plan to stop the bullying. They can help you make a plan to stop the bullying. Stay away from places where bullying happens. Stay away from places where bullying happens. Stay near adults and other kids. Most bullying happens when adults aren’t around. Stay near adults and other kids. Most bullying happens when adults aren’t around. 16

17 The Bullying Circle

18 Our Human Rights I have a right to be happy and to be treated with respect and compassion in my school: This means that no one will laugh at me, humiliate me, or hurt my feelings.

19 Our Human Rights I have a right to be myself in my school: This means that no one will treat me unfairly because of my skin color, for the choices I make or the beliefs I hold, for being fat or thin, tall or short, male or female, or for the way I look, speak, act, or dress.

20 Our Human Rights I have a right to be safe in my school: This means that no one will hit me, kick me, push me, pinch me, hurt me, or threaten me, my family, or my personal belongings.

21 Our Human Rights I have a right to hear and be heard in my school: This means that no one will yell, scream, shout, make loud noises, or otherwise interfere with my right to learn.

22 Our Human Rights I have a right to learn about myself in this school: This means that I will be free to express my feelings and my opinions, without being interrupted, ridiculed, or punished.

23 Our Human Rights I have a right to learn according to my own ability: This means no one will call me names because of the way I learn.

24 http://stopbullying.challenge.gov/ Message from the Secretary of Education Erne Duncan Message from the Secretary of Education Erne Duncan 24

25 1. WE WILL NOT BULLY OTHERS. 2. WE WILL TRY TO HELP STUDENTS WHO ARE BULLIED. 3. WE WILL TRY TO INCLUDE STUDENTS WHO ARE LEFT OUT. 4. IF WE KNOW THAT SOMEBODY IS BEING BULLIED, WE WILL TELL AN ADULT AT THE SCHOOL OR AT HOME. 25

26 Anti-Bullying Pledge - Students We the students of ______________________________ agree to join together to stamp out bullying at our school. We believe that everybody should enjoy our school equally, and feel safe, secure and accepted regardless of color, race, gender, popularity, athletic ability, intelligence, religion and nationality. Bullying can be pushing, shoving, hitting, and spitting, as well as name calling, picking on, making fun of, laughing at, and excluding someone. Bullying causes pain and stress to victims and is never justified or excusable as "kids being kids," "just teasing" or any other rationalization. The victim is never responsible for being a target of bullying. By signing this pledge, we the students agree to: Value student differences and treat others with respect. Not become involved in bullying incidents or be a bully. Be aware of the school's policies and support system with regard to bullying. Report honestly and immediately all incidents of bullying to a faculty member. Be alert in places around the school where there is less adult supervision such as bathrooms, corridors, and stairwells. Support students who have been or are subjected to bullying. Talk to teachers and parents about concerns and issues regarding bullying. Work with other students and faculty, to help the school deal with bullying effectively. Encourage teachers to discuss bullying issues in the classroom. Provide a good role model for younger students and support them if bullying occurs. Participate fully and contribute to assemblies dealing with bullying. I acknowledge that whether I am being a bully or see someone being bullied, if I don't report or stop the bullying, I am just as guilty. Signed by: _______________________________________ Print name: _______________________________________ Date:__________________

27 Thank You 27

28 Thank You Have a great school! 28

29 What I Think About Race A teen that is White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American finds it easy to… A teen that is White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American finds it easy to… A teen that is White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American finds it hard to… A teen that is White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American finds it hard to… Society expects teens that are White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American to act like… Society expects teens that are White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American to act like… 29

30 What I Think About Race What is the most important thing for others to understand about you? What is the most important thing for others to understand about you? How is a teen that is White Black, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American most similar to you? How is a teen that is White Black, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American most similar to you? How is a teen that is White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American most unlike you? How is a teen that is White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American most unlike you? What can you do to get along with others who seem different from you? What can you do to get along with others who seem different from you? 30

31 Dear Dad, I am really feeling like a total jerk for coming running like this to you. But I have tried everything that I know, and I just don’t know what else to do. You have always said that it is not a cowardly thing to admit when you are beaten. Well, I guess I am. Would you please drive up here to get me on Saturday. There is just no way that I will—or for that matter can—stay here. Maybe I was just expecting too much. I really thought that this camp would be good. I thought that all of us from school were a team and that we would be a great team after we got back from here. That is not the way it has worked out. There are three whites here, and the black students are banded together into a tight unit against the three of us.

32 Dear Dad, con’d At first I thought that it was some kind of joke—just to show us what it felt like to be a minority. But it is no joke. It is more than being called a name once too often. It is more than just one personal foul—like a hard jab into the stomach—too many. It is the feeling of being hated because of the color of my skin that I can’t take anymore. God, Dad they never even gave me a chance. It really stinks. It really does. See you Saturday.Dave P.S. The other two guys I mentioned in the letter will need a ride too. If you can give them a lift to our place, then they can catch the bus home.

33 Physical—Harmful actions against another person’s body. BitingTripping KickingPulling Hair PushingHitting Pinching

34 Verbal—Speaking to/about a person in an unkind or hurtful way. SarcasmTeasing Name-CallingPut-Downs Phone CallsHurtful Gossip Spreading Rumors

35 Emotional—Upsetting, excluding or embarrassing a person. Intentional Exclusion Nasty Notes TormentingThreatening Humiliation Social Embarrassment CYBERBULLYING

36 Sexual— Singles out a person because of gender and/or sexual orientation and demonstrates unwarranted/unwelcome sexual behavior. Sexual Comments Abusive Comments Unwanted Physical Contact

37 Racial— Involves rejection or isolation of a person because of ethnicity. GesturesRacial SlursTaunts Name-Calling Making fun of: customs, skin color, accent and/or food choices

38 Bully: One or more persons who intentionally intimidate or harm another person. A bully has power or social support. The harm they cause can be physical, emotional or both.

39 Victim: The person who is being bullied. The victim has less power or social support and often blames him/herself for the abuse.

40 Bystander: One or more people who stand on the sidelines and passively witness acts of bullying—bystanders might also actively provide encouragement and support to the bully. Bystanders may not seek help/intervene because they fear for their safety, may lose friends, become a target or be labeled a tattletale or snitch.

41 Kids Who Observe What do you usually do when you see a student being bullied? 38%Nothing, because it’s none of my business 38%Nothing, because it’s none of my business 27%I don’t do anything, but I think I should help 27%I don’t do anything, but I think I should help 35%I try to help him or her 35%I try to help him or her

42 Bullying… Is aggressive behavior that intends to cause harm or distress. HUMILIATION Is aggressive behavior that intends to cause harm or distress. HUMILIATION Usually is repeated over time. Usually is repeated over time. Occurs in a relationship where there is an imbalance of power or strength. Occurs in a relationship where there is an imbalance of power or strength.

43 Bullying can be related to hostile acts perpetrated against racial and ethnic minorities, gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual youth, and persons with disabilities. This definition is taken from the American Psychological Association

44 Traditional BullyingCyberbullying Witnesses usually limited to those who are actually there. In front of the whole world. Face-to-face with the bully.Usually anonymous. Adults jump in to break things up. Lack of supervision in cyber space. Once home the victim is safe. 24/7 on the internet. No escape. Once victim walks away the bullying ends. Lack of Closure.

45 Cyberbullying examples…  Sending mean texts, e-mails, or instant messages  Posting offensive pictures or messages about others in blogs or on Web sites  Using someone else's user name to spread rumors or lies about someone  Sending repeated notes  Forwarding supposedly private messages, pictures or videos to others  Threatening or harassing others with offensive language Cyberbullying is more difficult to detect and victimization is ongoing!

46 Cyberbullying: Call To Action “Students need to have a better understanding of family, school and legal limits on online speech, negative influences of online behavior and Internet privacy protection.” -Nancy Willard, Educator’s Guide to Cyberbullying -Nancy Willard, Educator’s Guide to Cyberbullying

47 Bullying:Racial/Ethnic Harassment Jokes with racial or ethnic targets Exclusion because of culture /ethnicity Racial or ethnic slurs Insults Public humiliation Destroying property because of race or culture Physical or verbal attacks because of race or culture MildSevere

48 Bullying defined....  A student who is the target of repeated negative actions by a peer or group of peers.  An imbalance of power (Bully perceives self as smarter, stronger, prettier, cooler).  Characterized by unequal levels of affect. The bully typically in control (calm & cool), and victim overly emotional (highly anxious, crying, tantruming)  Between students who are not friends or play together.

49 Friendly TeasingHurtful Teasing Equal power, familiarity, between friends Imbalance of power, not friends Neutral topicSensitive topic Purpose is to be playfulPurpose is to upset the recipient Intent is to include in the groupIntent is to exclude from the group Funny, recipient’s reaction is positiveSarcasm, recipient’s reaction is negative Important Reminders: The target of the teasing decides if the teasing was friendly or hurtful The teaser often wrongly justifies the tease with “it was just a joke” “I’m only kidding” Sarcasm is not a fun form of teasing it is often received as hurtful.

50 Definition of Bullying Bullying occurs when an individual or group, while at school, intentionally assaults, batters, threatens, harasses, stalks, menaces, intimidates, extorts, humiliates, taunts, shuns or maliciously spreads rumors about others or participates in the organizing of others to engage in any of the aforementioned.

51 Sign the Resolution of Respect STEP ONE

52 We pledge, from this day forward, to do our best to combat prejudice and to stop those who violate the civil rights of others. We will seek to understand those who are different. We believe that one person can make a difference and that no person should stand by when it comes to opposing hate. We will speak out against prejudice and discrimination. We will reach out to those who are victims of hate. We know that we must all promote harmony, equality and respect. By signing the pledge, we commit ourselves to creating a community that is No Place for Hate®. Resolution of Respect

53

54 Working Together …. …We Can Build a Community of Respect

55 Bullying In Schools Mary Culin Learning Supports Coordinator Learning Supports Coordinatorand TUSD Department of Student Equity

56 Objectives  To raise awareness and increase understanding about the impact of bullying  To provide comprehensive prevention strategies to address the victim, bully and bystander

57 Aligns with ADE “Standards and Rubrics for School Improvement” Bullying prevention addresses Standard Four: School Culture, Climate and Communication

58 TUSD Post-Unitary Status Plan TUSD Department of Student Equity will provide professional development support and training to schools regarding bullying, so that school personnel are able to identify and minimize bullying among students.

59 Restorative Practices to Address Bullying Prevention Aligns with TUSD Post-Unitary Status Plan Goal is to implement a school-wide restorative culture and climate that convey respect, support, and a sense of belonging Goal is to implement a school-wide restorative culture and climate that convey respect, support, and a sense of belonging Build relationships, hold students accountable and repair harm Build relationships, hold students accountable and repair harm

60 TUSD Bullying Prohibition and Prevention Policy Aligns with Arizona anti-bullying law Aligns with Arizona anti-bullying law Definition: The repeated intimidation of students by the real or threatened infliction of physical, verbal, written, electronically transmitted, or emotional abuse, or through acts on the property of another Definition: The repeated intimidation of students by the real or threatened infliction of physical, verbal, written, electronically transmitted, or emotional abuse, or through acts on the property of another

61 Harassment? Intimidation? Lack of Respect? Bullying is a form of violence in our schools today that is widespread and increasing. What is Bullying?

62 Definition: Bullying occurs when a “person is exposed repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more persons,” and involves an imbalance of power between the bully and the victim. - Olweus. Blueprints for Violence Prevention, Book Nine: Bullying Prevention Program.

63 Impact of Bullying 1 out of 4 students reports being bullied 1 out of 4 students reports being bullied Bullying occurs once every 7 minutes Bullying occurs once every 7 minutes 1 out of 5 students report avoiding the bathroom at school because they fear being bullied 1 out of 5 students report avoiding the bathroom at school because they fear being bullied 10% of students dropout due to repeated bullying 10% of students dropout due to repeated bullying U.S. Dept. of Justice & National Assoc. of School Psychologists

64 60% of those boys identified as bullies have a criminal record by the time they are 24 years old. Interpersonal violence is the second leading cause of death ages 15 to 24. In extreme cases, “bullying” has been named as the cause of both student suicide and student homicide. 3% increase in bullying, despite a decrease in assaults, thefts, and other crimes at school. Source: U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention 160,000 students missed school each day due to fear of bullying. Source: US Department of Justice and National School Association of School Psychologists 60% of those boys identified as bullies have a criminal record by the time they are 24 years old. Interpersonal violence is the second leading cause of death ages 15 to 24. In extreme cases, “bullying” has been named as the cause of both student suicide and student homicide. 3% increase in bullying, despite a decrease in assaults, thefts, and other crimes at school. Source: U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention 160,000 students missed school each day due to fear of bullying. Source: US Department of Justice and National School Association of School Psychologists Understanding the Problem

65 TUSD Bullying Statistics School Year 2010-2011 Incidents Documented in Mojave: High School 63 High School 63 Middle School166 Middle School166 Elementary 25 Elementary 25

66 Normal Conflict Versus Bullying Equal power; friendsvs.Imbalance of power; not friends Happens occasionallyvs.Repeated negative actions Accidentalvs.Purposeful Not seriousvs. Serious—threat of physical harm or emotional or psychological hurt Equal emotional reactionvs.Strong emotional reaction on part of the victim Not seeking power or attention vs.Seeking power, control Not trying to get somethingvs.Trying to gain material things or power Remorse—takes responsibility vs.No remorse—blames victim Effort to solve problemvs.No effort to solve problem Marla Bonds, Psy.D, Sally Stoker M.SW, Bully Proofing Your School,Pg 104

67 “The In Crowd” With John Stossel 20/20 Exclusive on Bullying

68 CHARACTERISTICS OF A BULLY Arrogance rather than confidence Arrogance rather than confidence Ego Problem rather than healthy self- esteem Ego Problem rather than healthy self- esteem Entitlement rather than achievement Entitlement rather than achievement Lacks Empathy Lacks Empathy

69 Dynamics of Bullying Who is Hurt?  Victim?  Bully?  Bystander?

70 VICTIMS Fear of being bullied may lead to absenteeism, truancy or dropping out Fear of being bullied may lead to absenteeism, truancy or dropping out Grades suffer Grades suffer Decreased self-esteem Decreased self-esteem As adults, victims are hesitant to take risks As adults, victims are hesitant to take risks Violence against self or others Violence against self or others

71 Types of Victims Provocative Provocative Passive Passive Vicarious Vicarious

72 Strategies for Bystanders Refuse to join. Refuse to join. Walk away when bullies are acting up. Walk away when bullies are acting up. Distract the bully so he or she stops the bullying behavior. Distract the bully so he or she stops the bullying behavior. Report any bullying you see. Report any bullying you see. Speak out. Speak out. Stand beside the bully’s target. Stand beside the bully’s target. Work with others to reduce bullying. Work with others to reduce bullying.

73 BULLIES At-risk for long-term negative outcomes At-risk for long-term negative outcomes Attend school less frequently and are more like to drop out Attend school less frequently and are more like to drop out May be a sign of the development of violent tendencies, delinquency and criminal behavior May be a sign of the development of violent tendencies, delinquency and criminal behavior Increased risk of substance abuse Increased risk of substance abuse Lack of respect for law and authority Lack of respect for law and authority

74 BYSTANDERS Who are They? 85% of students are bystanders- neither the victim nor the bully 85% of students are bystanders- neither the victim nor the bully Power to stop bullying lies with the bystanders Power to stop bullying lies with the bystanders May feel guilty or helpless for not standing up to the bully on behalf of the victim May feel guilty or helpless for not standing up to the bully on behalf of the victim Fear reporting bullying incidents because the don’t want to be called a “snitch” Fear reporting bullying incidents because the don’t want to be called a “snitch” May feel unsafe, unable to take action or feel a loss of control May feel unsafe, unable to take action or feel a loss of control

75 Using A Comprehensive Approach to Reduce and Prevent Bullying Main focus on changing school climate that reflects RESPECT Main focus on changing school climate that reflects RESPECT Teach skills and strategies to avoid victimization Teach skills and strategies to avoid victimization Teach skills to enable the “silent majority” to become the “caring majority” Teach skills to enable the “silent majority” to become the “caring majority” Address the bullying on all levels— administrators, teachers, staff, students, parents, and community Address the bullying on all levels— administrators, teachers, staff, students, parents, and community

76 A comprehensive schoolwide approach involves 6 components. Staff Training Staff Training Student Instruction Student Instruction Support For Victims Support For Victims Intervention With the Bullies Intervention With the Bullies Parent Support Parent Support Developing the Caring Community Developing the Caring Community

77 STRATEGIES FOR ADMINISTRATORS Use Restorative Practices to address bullying behavior (hold students accountable and provide opportunity to make things right) Use Restorative Practices to address bullying behavior (hold students accountable and provide opportunity to make things right) Promote a school-wide commitment to non-tolerance for bullying Promote a school-wide commitment to non-tolerance for bullying Develop school-wide policies and procedures Develop school-wide policies and procedures Commit the necessary resources to the project Commit the necessary resources to the project

78 Strategies for Teachers Be aware of the extent of bullying and become involved in changing the situation Be aware of the extent of bullying and become involved in changing the situation Send a clear message that bullying will not be tolerated Send a clear message that bullying will not be tolerated Establish and maintain a classroom in which all students feel respected and valued Establish and maintain a classroom in which all students feel respected and valued Intervene individually with bullies and victims, if you see a situation: stop it. Intervene individually with bullies and victims, if you see a situation: stop it.

79 Strategies for Teachers (continued) Listen sympathetically to students who need support when they are victims of bullying. Listen sympathetically to students who need support when they are victims of bullying. Discuss and teach students social skills necessary to avoid becoming victims of bullies (assertiveness, problem solving and HA HA SO strategies). Discuss and teach students social skills necessary to avoid becoming victims of bullies (assertiveness, problem solving and HA HA SO strategies).

80 HA HA SO Strategies H Help: Seek assistance from an adult, friend, or peer when a potentially threatening situation arises. Seek help also if other strategies aren’t working. Brainstorm all sources of help at your school—counselors, teachers, administrators Stress the different ways to get help—anonymously, in a group, hotline A Assert Yourself: Make assertive statements to the bully addressing your feelings about the bully’s behavior. Should not be used with severe bullying. Not as effective with group bullying. Victim should look bully straight in the eye. Use “I” statements. Example: “I don’t like it when you pull on my backpack. Stop it.” Make assertive statement and walk away. Example: “Stop talking about me behind my back.” H Humor: Use humor to de-escalate a situation.Use humor in a positive way. Make the joke about what the bully said, not about the bully. Make humorous statement and then leave the situation. Example: When insulted about hairstyle, say “Gee I didn’t know you cared enough to notice.” A Avoid: Walk away or avoid certain places in order to avoid a bullying situation. Best for situations when victim is alone. Avoid places where the bully hangs out. Join with others rather than be alone. S Self-talk: Use positive self-talk to maintain positive self- esteem during a bullying situation. Use as a means to keep feeling good about self. Think positive statements about self and accomplishments. Rehearse mental statements to avoid being hooked by the bully. Examples: “It’s his problem,” “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” “I know I’m smart.” O Own It: “Own” the put-down or belittling comment in order to diffuse it. Agree with the bully and leave the situation. Combine with humor strategies such as, “Yeah, this IS a bad haircut. The lawn mower got out of control.” Combine with assertive strategies such as, “Yes I did fail the test and I don’t appreciate you looking at my paper.” Important Reminders: 1. Practice these strategies in any order, in any combination, or numerous times. 2. The Caring Majority can remind each other of the strategies. 3. The Caring Majority can help support the victim in using the strategies. 4. If the strategies aren’t working, leave or disengage from the situation.

81 Strategies to Use with Bullies Use a no-nonsense style. De direct. Use a no-nonsense style. De direct. Give brief, clear descriptions of unacceptable behavior and consequences. Give brief, clear descriptions of unacceptable behavior and consequences. Do not have a long discussion of the situation. Do not have a long discussion of the situation. Help the bully to identify the victim’s emotions and build empathy for the victim. Help the bully to identify the victim’s emotions and build empathy for the victim. Re-channel power in a positive direction—do not try to suppress. Re-channel power in a positive direction—do not try to suppress. Se the culture for your school through the caring majority. Se the culture for your school through the caring majority.

82 Faculty Lounge Scenario-Creative Problem Solving Strategies for Bystanders Directions: Read the scenario below and discuss with others creative ways to solve the problem. Talk about low, medium, and high risk solutions. Scenario: You’re in the faculty lounge eating lunch. You overhear a staff member at another table making negative and sarcastic statements about a colleague who is not in the room. This has been happening periodically since the first of the year. You’re worried that the statements he/she is making are starting to circulate throughout the building, and you have noticed that this kind of negative talk is spreading.

83 Developing a Caring Community Strategies for Bystanders C – Creative Problem Solving A – Adult Help R- Relate and Join E- Empathy S- Stand Up and Speak Out

84 Where is the Power to Stop Bullying? Victims Bullies Bystanders

85 Expectations for School Sites Middle and high school: 1 Staff training before May 25, 2011 Middle and high school: 1 Staff training before May 25, 2011 Elementary school: 1 Staff training before December 15, 2011 Elementary school: 1 Staff training before December 15, 2011

86 BULLYING Lisa Serrao 86

87 Myth or Fact? Bullying is just a part of growing up. The effects of bullying on victims are short-term and minor. Bullying is just a part of growing up. The effects of bullying on victims are short-term and minor. MYTH: In addition to the social, emotional, and physical torment of the actual bullying experience, victims are also more likely than non- victims to suffer from physical illnesses, academic troubles, and enduring mental health problems. MYTH: In addition to the social, emotional, and physical torment of the actual bullying experience, victims are also more likely than non- victims to suffer from physical illnesses, academic troubles, and enduring mental health problems. Bullies are usually insecure loners with low self-esteem. Bullies are usually insecure loners with low self-esteem. MYTH: Bullies are likely to have both friends and followers in fact, they tend to be rather popular in the early school years. Research also indicates that bullies typically have average or above average self-esteem and self-confidence. MYTH: Bullies are likely to have both friends and followers in fact, they tend to be rather popular in the early school years. Research also indicates that bullies typically have average or above average self-esteem and self-confidence. 87

88 Myth or Fact? More bullying occurs in elementary and middle school than in high school. More bullying occurs in elementary and middle school than in high school. FACT: Some studies indicate that bullying is most prevalent during the elementary school years, other studies indicate that it increases and peaks during middle school. However, it’s clear that bullying though certainly present in high school is more prevalent among younger students. FACT: Some studies indicate that bullying is most prevalent during the elementary school years, other studies indicate that it increases and peaks during middle school. However, it’s clear that bullying though certainly present in high school is more prevalent among younger students. If you tell someone about being bullied, it will just make it worse. If you tell someone about being bullied, it will just make it worse. MYTH: Research shows that bullying will stop when adults in authority and peers get involved. MYTH: Research shows that bullying will stop when adults in authority and peers get involved. Bullying is done by both boys and girls. Bullying is done by both boys and girls. FACT: Both boys and girls bully, just in different ways. Male bullies are more likely than female bullies to engage in physical bullying; female bullies typically use verbal and emotional tactics. FACT: Both boys and girls bully, just in different ways. Male bullies are more likely than female bullies to engage in physical bullying; female bullies typically use verbal and emotional tactics. 88

89 What is Bullying? Bullying is when someone repeatedly and on purpose says or does mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time defending himself or herself. Bullying is when someone repeatedly and on purpose says or does mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time defending himself or herself. 89

90 Types of Bullying Physical: Acts that hurt others Physical: Acts that hurt others physically physically Verbal: Use of words to hurt and Verbal: Use of words to hurt and humiliate others humiliate others 90

91 Types of Bullying Social: Actions that exclude others or Social: Actions that exclude others or cause damage to their cause damage to their reputations reputations Cyberbullying: Using computers, the Cyberbullying: Using computers, the Internet, mobile phones, Internet, mobile phones, etc. to bully others etc. to bully others 91

92 How to Tell If You Bully Others… There's a boy or a girl (or maybe more than one) whom you've repeatedly shoved, or punched or physically pushed around in a mean way just because you felt like it. There's a boy or a girl (or maybe more than one) whom you've repeatedly shoved, or punched or physically pushed around in a mean way just because you felt like it. You had someone else hurt someone you don't like. You had someone else hurt someone you don't like. You've spread a nasty rumor about someone. You've spread a nasty rumor about someone. 92

93 How to Tell If You Bully Others… You and your friends have regularly kept one or more kids from hanging out or playing with you. You and your friends have regularly kept one or more kids from hanging out or playing with you. You've teased people in a mean way. You've teased people in a mean way. You've been part of a group that did any of these things. You've been part of a group that did any of these things. 93

94 How Bullying Hurts It can mess up a kid's future. Young people who bully are more likely than those who don't bully to skip school and drop out of school. It can mess up a kid's future. Young people who bully are more likely than those who don't bully to skip school and drop out of school. It scares some people so much that they skip school. As many as 160,000 students may stay home on any given day. It scares some people so much that they skip school. As many as 160,000 students may stay home on any given day. It can lead to huge problems later in life. Children who bully are more likely to get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school. It can lead to huge problems later in life. Children who bully are more likely to get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school. 94

95 What You Can Do About Bullying… If you are a BYSTANDER If you are a BYSTANDER → Report the bullying to an adult → Support someone who is being bullied → Stand up to the person doing the bullying → Don’t join in → Don’t try to fight the bully 95

96 What You Can Do About Bullying… If you are a VICTIM If you are a VICTIM → Always tell an adult → Stay in a group → If it feels safe, try to stand up to the person who is bullying you → If you are being bullied on-line, don't reply → Join clubs or take part in activities where you'll meet other kids. → Don’t think it’s your fault 96

97 What You Can Do About Bullying… If you are a BULLY If you are a BULLY → Think about what you're doing... and how it affects others. o put yourself in their shoes o think about how it must make them feel o and just don't do it → Talk to an adult 97

98 Stop Bullying Now 98 “K.B.’s First Day”

99 Stop Bullying Now 99 “K.B.’s Day”

100 Discussion Questions How would you have felt if you were K.B. and this had been your first day of school? How would you have felt if you were K.B. and this had been your first day of school? When K.B. went to the wrong classroom and bumped into Cassandra on the way out and Cassandra called her a freak. What are some ways K.B. could have handled Cassandra's rude comments? When K.B. went to the wrong classroom and bumped into Cassandra on the way out and Cassandra called her a freak. What are some ways K.B. could have handled Cassandra's rude comments? At lunch time when Cassandra made K.B. sit in ketchup one of the girls, Melanie didn’t seem to think this was funny. What could Melanie have done to help K.B. in this situation? At lunch time when Cassandra made K.B. sit in ketchup one of the girls, Melanie didn’t seem to think this was funny. What could Melanie have done to help K.B. in this situation? When K.B. went to the library two of the girls took a picture of the ketchup stain on her pants and posted it on the computer for everyone to see. What type of bullying is this? When K.B. went to the library two of the girls took a picture of the ketchup stain on her pants and posted it on the computer for everyone to see. What type of bullying is this? 100

101 Discussion Questions Do you think that this type of bullying was more hurtful, less hurtful, or just as hurtful as the other types of bullying that happened to K.B. that day? Why? Do you think that this type of bullying was more hurtful, less hurtful, or just as hurtful as the other types of bullying that happened to K.B. that day? Why? When K.B.’s mom asked her how her first day of school was she told her it was great and didn’t tell her about being bullied. Why should K.B. have told her mom about what had happened? How could her mom have helped her? When K.B.’s mom asked her how her first day of school was she told her it was great and didn’t tell her about being bullied. Why should K.B. have told her mom about what had happened? How could her mom have helped her? Who else could K.B. have gone to for help? Who else could K.B. have gone to for help? 101

102 What Have You Learned About Bullying? 102

103 References Bullying.org. (2003). Bullying basics. Retrieved November 23, 2007 from http://www.bullying.org/public/frameset.cfm. http://www.bullying.org/public/frameset.cfm Bullying.org. (2003). Bullying information. Retrieved November 23, 2007 from http://www.bullying.org/external/documents/Bullying_Information.pdf. http://www.bullying.org/external/documents/Bullying_Information.pdf Bullying.org (2003). Bullying myths and facts. Retrieved November 23, 2007 from http://www.bullying.org/external/documents/Bullying.org_Bullying_Myths-Facts%20Pamphlet.pdf. http://www.bullying.org/external/documents/Bullying.org_Bullying_Myths-Facts%20Pamphlet.pdf Hazeldon Foundation (2007). What is bullying?. Retrieved November 23, 2007 from http://www.hazelden.org/web/go/olweusparent. http://www.hazelden.org/web/go/olweusparent Health Resources and Services Administration. (n.d.). Are you being bullied?. Retrieved November 25, 2007 from http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=areyou. http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=areyou Health Resources and Services Administration. (n.d.).Do you bully others?. Retrieved November 25, 2007 from http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=others. http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=others Health Resources and Services Administration. (n.d.). Do you witness bullying? Are you a bystander?. Retrieved November 25, 2007 from http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=witness. http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=witness 103

104 References Health Resources and Services Administration. (n.d.). Effects of bullying. Retrieved November 25, 2007 from http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=effects. http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=effects Health Resources and Services Administration. (n.d.). Signs that you bully others. Retrieved November 25, 2007 from http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=signs. http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=signs Health Resources and Services Administration. (n.d.). Questions for Stop Bullying Now! Webisodes. Retrieved November 25, 2007 from http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/PDFs/Webisode_Questions.pdf. Health Resources and Services Administration. (n.d.). Questions for Stop Bullying Now! Webisodes. Retrieved November 25, 2007 from http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/PDFs/Webisode_Questions.pdf. http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/PDFs/Webisode_Questions.pdf Health Resources and Services Administration. (n.d.). Webisodes (1&5). Retrieved November 25, 2007 from http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?Area=webisodes&webisodes. http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?Area=webisodes&webisodes Smokowski, P. R. & Kopasz, K. H. (2005). Bullying in school: An overview of types, effects, family characteristics, and intervention strategies. Children & Schools 27(2), 101-110. Retrieved October 26, 2007, from EBSCOhost. U.S. Department of Education. (2007). Bullying quiz. Exploring the Nature and Prevention of Bullying. Retrieved November 23, 2007 from http://www.ed.gov/admins/lead/safety/training/bullying/bullying_pg7.html#quiz. http://www.ed.gov/admins/lead/safety/training/bullying/bullying_pg7.html#quiz Whitted, K. S. & Dupper, D. R. (2005). Best practices for preventing or reducing bullying in schools. Children & Schools, 27(3), 167-175. Retrieved October 26, 2007, fromEBSCOhost. 104

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