2 The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People There is no real excellence in all this world which can be separated from right living
3 Common deep personal & professional problems: How to reach the career goals set without losing personal and family life?How can I keep a promise I make to myself?How can a manager train his employees to be independent and responsible if it happened once that this manager was home sick for a day?How can one really congratulate a friend enthusiastically for achieving some degree of success and recognition without eating his heart out?There’s so much to do and there’s never enough time. How can I manage my life effectively?
4 The Key for Successful Living Personality EthicCharacter EthicFocus on attitude and behavior minor changeTo change the situation first we have to change ourselves and our perceptions significant, quantum changeWorks in short term situation (symptomatic treatment)Has personal worth in the long term relationshipSocial band aids that treats only acute problems temporarilyTreats the underlying chronic problem
5 The Key for Successful Living Primary and secondary greatnessQuit lacking at the leaves of attitude and behavior (secondary greatness)Get to work on the root, the character (primary greatness) from which these attitude and behavior flow.
6 The Power of a Paradigm A paradigm is : A frame of reference, a model A perception, assumptionThe way we perceive, understand & accordingly interpret and judge things. A mental map.
8 Two people can see the same thing, disagree and yet both be right. The more we examine the way we see things, the more we can test them against reality.Listen to others and be open to their perception, to get a far more objective view.
9 Be See Think Feel Behave Being Is SeeingBe See Think Feel BehaveWe cannot change our seeing without changing our beingIf you want to have…. Be….The seven habits paradigm:An “inside-out” approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness
10 Can we create a HABIT? We are what we repeatedly do Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habitHabits are learned and unlearnedWe are not the habits, hence we can change them
12 Effectiveness is defined as p/pc balance p= production = what is produced, the desired results producedpc = production capacity = producing asset. Maintaining, preserving and enhancing the resources that produces the desired resultsMaintain the p/pc balance:Balance short term with long termTake time to invest in a relationshipWin the customer more than the call
13 The Seven Habits Paradigm 1BeproactiveDependenceIndependenceInterdependencePRIVATEVICTORYPUBLICThe Seven Habits Paradigm
14 Principles of Personal Leadership Move yourself from dependence to independence, the foundation for effective interdependenceAchieve private victory, the foundation for public VICTORYAchieve self mastery through self awareness, self confidence and self control.
15 Principles of Personal Leadership Prepare yourself for interpersonal leadershipBuild a changeless inner core, from which your attitude and behavior flowBuild the principle center that gives you the wisdom and power to adapt to change and to take advantage of the opportunities that change creates.
16 The Maturity Continuum InterdependenceIndependenceDependence
17 Character & Personality Although image, techniques and skills can influence your outward success, the weight of real effectiveness lies in good character.
18 Character & Competence Character A person with high character exhibits integrity, maturity and an Abundance Mentality. Competence A person with high competence has knowledge and ability in a given area. As people balance these two elements, they build their personal trustworthiness and their trust with others.
19 Character & Competence TrustTrustworthinessCharacterCompetence
25 Three theories of determinism affecting our response to a certain stimulus Genetic determinism (DNA)Psychic determinism (childhood experience)Environmental determinism (boss, spouse, economic situation, notational policies)
26 Habit One : Be Proactive The Habit of Personal Vision The Four Human Endowments:Self-Awareness – Examining thoughts, moods and behaviorsImagination – Visualizing beyond experience and present reality (work on alternatives)Conscience – Understanding right and wrong and following personal integrityIndependent Will – Acting independent of external influence
27 Happiness is like unhappiness, a proactive choice PROACTIVE MODELFreedomToChooseStimulusResponseSelf-AwarenessImaginationConscienceIndependentWillHappiness is like unhappiness, a proactive choice
28 PROACTIVE MODEL Responsibility = “Response-ability” Proactive people: Behavior in the product of one’s decision based on valuesPersonal leadersTake the initiative and are solutions to problemsSuccessfully handle direct, indirect and no control problems
29 PROACTIVE MODEL Reactive people: Behavior is the product of one’s condition based on feelingsUnhappy people who feel victimized and immobilized, who focus on the weaknesses of other peopleBlame other people and circumstances they feel are responsible for their own stagnant situation.
30 Reactive LanguageProactive LanguageThere's noting I can doLet’s look at our alternationsThat’s just the way I amI can choose a different approachHe makes me so madI control my own feelingsThey won’t allow thatI can create an effective presentationI have to do thatI will choose an appropriate responseI can’tI chooseI mustI preferIf onlyI will
33 PROACTIVE FOCUS REACTIVE FOCUS Circle ofCircle of InfluenceConcernCircle ofCircle of InfluenceConcernPROACTIVE FOCUS(Positive energy enlargesthe Circles of Influences)REACTIVE FOCUS(Negative energy reducesthe Circles of Influences)
34 Habit 2 BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND 1Beproactive2Beginwith theEnd in Mind
35 Start with a clear understanding of your destination Picture deeply what kind of husbands, wife, father or mother would you like to be?What kind of son or daughter or cousin?What kind of friend?What kind of working associate?
36 AssumptionsAssume at your funeral, how would family, colleague, friend, church, etc talk about youAssume today’s the last day in your lifeAssume:Body - Had a heart attack; Mind – Life of your profession is 2 years; Heart – Other person is clairvoyant; Spirit – You met with the Almighty
37 Habit Two Begin with the End in Mind The Habit of Personal Leadership Mental Creation Precedes Physical Creation To start with a clear understanding of your destination. Write your MISSION STATEMENT Choose a Life Center
38 Create a personal mission statements = a personal constitution, a frame of reference Align your daily behavior with your life objectivesBusiness = “busy-ness”Climbing the ladder of success: effectiveness vs. efficiency
39 Our deepest center: Circle of Concern Work Family Spouse/Husband Circle of InfluenceOur deepest center:WorkFamilySpouse/HusbandFriendReligionSelfPleasurePossessionsMoneyEnemy
41 Our four life-supporting factors derive from the very center of our circle of influence SECURITY: Sense of worth, self esteem & personal strengthGUIDANCE: Source of direction in lifeWISDOM: Perspective on lifePOWER: Decision making ability
42 A principle center:Creating a solid changeless core, from which flow the four life-support factors.Correct principles do not changea principle-centered person stands apart from the emotion of the situation and evaluates the options.
43 A principle center:You won’t be acted upon by other people or circumstancesSee change as an exciting adventure and opportunity to make significant contributions.
44 Habit Two Begin with the End in Mind The Habit of Personal Leadership FamilyMoneySpousePossessionsSelfPrinciplesWorkRelegious OrganizationPleasureEnemyFriend
45 Habit Two Begin with the End in Mind The Habit of Personal Leadership Principle-CenteredSomeone who is principle-centered bases decisions onprinciples that govern human effectiveness. Principles arethe ideal core because they allow us to seek the bestalternative through conscious choice, knowledge and values.Principle-centered people try to :Stand apart from the emotion of a situation and from otherfactors that would act on them.Make proactive choices after evaluating options.
46 Habit Two Begin with the End in Mind The Habit of Personal Leadership Mission StatementA powerful document that expresses your personal sense ofPurpose and meaning in life. It acts as a governingConstitution by which you evaluate decisions and choosebehaviors.
47 Define Leadership & Management Leadership deals with Direction (Doing the right things) Management deals with Speed, Co-ordination, Logistics in moving in that direction (Doing the things RIGHT)
48 Habit 3 PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST 1Beproactive3Put FirstThings FirstThings which matter most must never be a the mercy of things which matter least.
50 Two Factors to Define Any Activity Urgency - An activity is urgent if you or others feel that it requires immediate attention.Importance - An activity is importance if you personally find it valuable, and if it contributes to your mission values, and high-priority goals.
51 Time management matrix I - ProcrastinatorUrgentImportant2-PrioritizerNot UrgentIII – ‘Yes Man’Not ImportantIV - Slacker
52 The Time Management Matrix Urgent & ImportantActivitiesResultsCrisesPressing problemsDeadline-driven projectsStressBurnoutPutting out fires
53 The Time Management Matrix IINot urgent but ImportantActivitiesResultsPrevention, PC activitiesRelationships buildingRecognizing new opportunitiesPlanning recreationVisionBalanceDisciplineControlFew crises
54 The Time Management Matrix IIIUrgent but Not ImportantActivitiesResultsInterruptions, some callsSome mail, some reportsSome meetingsProximate, pressing mattersPopular activitiesShort-term focusCrisis managementFeel victimized, out of controlBroken relationships
55 The Time Management Matrix IVNot Urgent & Not ImportantActivitiesResultsTrivia, busy workSome mailSome phone callsTime wastersPleasant activitiesDependent on othersTotal irresponsibilityFired from jobs
56 I II III IV Urgent Not Urgent Important Not Important . Crisis . Pressing problems. Deadline-driven projects, meetings, preparations. Preparation. Prevention. Values clarification. Planning. Relationship building. True re-creation. EmpowermentImportantIIIIV. Interruptions, somephone calls. Some mail, some reports. Some meetings. Many proximate,pressing matters. Many popular activities. Trivia, busywork. Some phone calls. Time wasters. “Escape” activities. Irrelevant mail. Excessive TVNot Important
57 Habit Three - Put First things First The Habit of Personal Management URGENTNOT URGENTAttach to MissionCrises Management12IMPORTANTDistractionsTime Wasters34NOT IMPORTANT
58 Habit Three - Put First things First The Habit of Personal Management “Effective people have genuine Quadrant 1 crises and emergenciesthat require their immediate attention, but the number iscomparatively small. They keep P and PC in balanceby focusing on the important, but not urgent,activities of Quadrant II”
59 Habit Three - Put First things First The Habit of Personal Management Things which matter most must never be at themercy of things which matter least.The Key is not to prioritize your schedule butto schedule your priorities.
60 Habit Three - Put First things First The Habit of Personal Management Put First things First involves a six-step, QII processThat will help you act on the basis of importance.Importance, in the context of Put first things First, is definedBy your mission statement and confirmed by your conscience.The six steps can be used in weekly planning or as often as needed.Connect to MissionReview RolesIdentify GoalsOrganize WeeklyExercise IntegrityEvaluate
61 Public Victory1Beproactive3Put FirstThings FirstPUBLICVICTORYThere can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity.
62 PRINCIPLES OF INTERPRSONAL LEADERSHIP The p/pc balance in an interdependent realityThe emotional bank accountThe amount of trust built up in a relationshipThe feeling of safeness that makes communication easy, instant and effective
63 PRINCIPLES OF INTERPRSONAL LEADERSHIP Six major depositsUnderstanding the individualUncover the person’s deep interest or needsTreat them all the same by treating them differentlyAttending to the little thingsKindness and courtesies are the big things
64 PRINCIPLES OF INTERPRSONAL LEADERSHIP Six major depositsKeeping commitmentsKeep a promise you have made or explain the situation and ask to be released from it.Clarifying expectationsConflicts arise form ambiguous expectations about roles and goals
65 PRINCIPLES OF INTERPRSONAL LEADERSHIP Six major depositsShowing personal integrityGoes beyond honestyBuild the trust of those who are present by being loyal to those who are not presentApologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawalIt is the weak who are cruel, gentleness can only be expected from the strong
66 P problems are PC opportunities Problems create the opportunity to build a deep relationship – the emotional bank account that empowers us to work together as a strong complementary team.
67 Habits One, Two & ThreeThe first three habits help develop a deep base of character andpersonal security . Once these 3 habits become part of who you areyou are then ready to begin building rich enduring highlyproductive relationships with other people and that’s where habitsfour, five and six come in.
69 Habits Four, Five & SixThese are the habits that lead to interdependent relationships.Habit Four : Think Win-winThe attitude of seeking solutions, so that every one can win.Do this by communicating. This is done by Habit FiveHabit Five : Seek first to understand, then to be understoodHabit Six : This is the habit of creative co-operation - SynergyThis happens when two sides in a dispute work together to come witha solution which is better than what either side initially proposed.
70 Habit 4THINK WIN WIN1Beproactive3Put FirstThings FirstThinkWin/Win4We have committed the Golden Rule to memory; let us now commit it to life”
71 Six Paradigms of human interactions: Win/winWin/loseLose/winLose/LoseWinWin/win or no deal
72 Win/Win Seeks for mutual benefit All parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action planSees life as cooperative, not competitiveThere’s plenty for everybodyBelieves in the third alternativeListens more, stays in communication longer, and communicates with more courage.
73 Habit Four - Think Win-Win The Habit of Interpersonal Leadership Six Paradigms of Human InteractionWin-Lose : People with a win-lose mindset are concerned withthemselves first and last. They want to win, and they want others tolose. They achieve success at the expense or exclusion of another’ssuccess. They are driven by comparison, competition, position, andpower.CharacteristicsIs very common scripting for most peopleIs the authoritarian approach.Uses position, power, credentials, possessions, or personality to getthe “Win”.
74 Habit Four - Think Win-Win The Habit of Interpersonal Leadership Six Paradigms of Human InteractionLose-Win : People who choose to lose and let others win show highconsideration for others, but lack the courage to express and act ontheir feelings and beliefs. They are easily intimidated and borrowstrength from acceptance and popularity.CharacteristicsVoices no standards, no demands, no expectations of anyone else.Is quick to please or appease.Buries a lot of feelings.
75 Habit Four - Think Win-Win The Habit of Interpersonal Leadership Six Paradigms of Human InteractionLose-Lose : People who have a lose-lose paradigm are low oncourage and consideration. They envy and criticize others. Theyput themselves and others down.CharacteristicsIs the mindset of a highly dependent person.Is the same as a “no win” because nobody benefits.Is a long-term result of a win-lose, lose-win, or win.
76 Habit Four - Think Win-Win The Habit of Interpersonal Leadership Six Paradigms of Human InteractionWin : People who hold a win paradigm think only of getting whatthey want. Although they don’t necessarily want others to lose,they are personally set on winning. They think independently ininterdependent situations, without sensitivity or awareness of others.CharacteristicsIs self-centered.Thinks “me first”.Doesn’t really care if the other person wins or loses.Has a Scarcity Mentality”.
77 Habit Four - Think Win-Win The Habit of Interpersonal Leadership Six Paradigms of Human InteractionWin-Win or No Deal : Win-Win or No Deal is the highest form ofwin-win. People who adopt this paradigm seek first for win-win. Ifthey cannot find an acceptable solution, they agree to disagreeagreeably.CharacteristicsAllows each party to say no.Is the most realistic at the beginning of a relationship or businessdeal.Is the highest form of “Win”.
78 Five Dimensions of Win/Win 123Win/WinCharacterRelationshipAgreementsSupportive Systems (4) and Processes (5)
79 Character Three character traits essential to the win/win paradigms: Integrity: make and keep meaningful promises and commitments. People of Integrity are true to their feelings, values and commitments.Maturity:The balance between courage and considerationThe ability to express one’s won feelings and convictions balanced with consideration of the thoughts and feelings of others
81 Abundance MentalityScarcity MentalityAbundance MentalityThere’s only one pieThere is plenty for everybodySense of worth and security comes from being comparedDefine themselves form withinDeep inner sense of worth and securitySomeone else’s success means their failureSomeone else's success is our success – sharing it.
82 (Character Trust, EBA) Agreements Relationships(Character Trust, EBA)Agreements(Relationships performance agreement)Five elements to agree on in a win/win agreementDesired results: Clarify the end in mind, objectives and outcome.Guidelines: Specify boundaries and deadlines for accomplishing the results within which results are to be accomplishedResources: human, financial, technical, support to help accomplish the resultsAccountability: sets up the standards of performance and the time of evaluation. Identify the standards and methods of measurement for progress and accomplishment.Consequences: Determine/Evaluate the result (s) of achieving or not achieving win-win
83 Systems Should be supportive (reward guidelines, available resources) Don't talk cooperation (win/win) and practice competition (win/lose)You can best achieve win-win solutions with win-win systems and processes. But if Changing your systems to win-win feels overwhelming and out of reach, remember to work from the inside out. As you first develop a win-win character and then Win-Win Agreements and relationships, you will expand your Circle of Influence and be Able to work on processes.
84 Processes: A four-step process: 1st see the problem from the other point of view2nd identify the key issues and concerns3rd determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solutions4th identify BATNA to achieve those results
85 SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD Habit 5SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD1Beproactive3Put FirstThings FirstSeek First to UnderstandThen to beUnderstood5The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of.
86 Principles of Empathic Communication Four common levels for listening:Ignoring: Making no effort to listenPractice pretending: Making believe or giving the appearance you are listeningPractice selective listening: Hearing only the parts of the conversation that interest you.Attentive listening: Paying attention and focusing on what the speaker says, and comparing that to your own experiences.
87 Principles of Empathic Communication Seek first to understand: Fifth level: Empathic listening (most effective level):Requires high levels of considerationDeep understanding of the problem firstRequires more than practicing listening techniquesIt’s listening with intent to understand (changing our perceptions)
88 Principles of Empathic Communication Get inside another persons’ frame of reference and see things the way he sees itIncreases our influence-ability (more & accurate information to work with)It ensures people’s psychological survival (psychological air)It is diagnosing before prescribing
89 Principles of Empathic Communication Then seek to be understoodRequires high level of courageEqually critical in reaching win/win solutions.
90 In crucial things unity In all thing generosity. Habit 6SYNERGIZE1Beproactive3Put FirstThings FirstSynergize6Take as a guide:In crucial things unityIn Important thingsdiversityIn all thing generosity.
91 Principles of Creative Cooperation Defensive (Win/Lose or Lose/win)Respectful (Compromise)Synergistic (Win/Win)LowTRUSTHighLEVELS OF COMMUNCIATIONCOOPERATION
92 Deeply understanding each other becomes the stepping stones to synergy Synergy means that the whole is greater than the sum of its partsOne plus one equals three or more.Identifying a third synergistic alternative/solution that will be better for everyone concerned.
93 Habit Six - Synergize The Habit of Creative Cooperation SynergyThe whole is greater than the sum of its parts.Synergy takes place when two or more peopleproduce more together than the sum of whatthey could have produces separately.
94 Habit Six - Synergize The Habit of Creative Cooperation To Synergize isResults-oriented, positive synergyExamining exploring, seeking diverseperspectives openly enough to alter orcomplete your paradigmCooperatingHaving a mutually agreed-upon end in mind.Worth the effort and highly effectiveA process.To Synergize is NotA brainstorming free-for-all.Accepting others’ ideas as full truth.Win-lose competition.Group think (giving in to peer pressure).Always easy.Only a negotiation technique.
95 Habit Six - Synergize The Habit of Creative Cooperation ProblemorOpportunitySynergizeHabits 4,5, & 6The Actionand ProcessThird AlternativeSYNERGYThe Result
96 Habit Six - Synergize The Habit of Creative Cooperation Blocks to SynergyAngerAnxietyJealousyDefensivenessFearFixationEgo
97 Habit Six - Synergize The Habit of Creative Cooperation Valuing The DifferencesThe essence of synergy is valuing the differences. Valuing the differencesdoes not imply that individuals approve of or agree with differences;however it does mean that people respect differences and view themas opportunities for learning. The differing opinions of others and theirviewpoints, perspectives, talents and gifts are valuable when seekingsolutions. These differences enable you to discover and produce thingstogether that you would much less likely discover and produceindividually. At what level do you value the differences ?
98 Habit Six - Synergize The Habit of Creative Cooperation Valuing The DifferencesCelebrateValueAcceptTolerate
99 I am tempted to think.. There are no little things. Habit 7SHARPEN THE SAWPRINCIPLES OF BALANCED SELF-RENEWAL1Beproactive3Put FirstThings FirstSometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things…I am tempted to think.. There are no little things.
100 It’s preserving and enhancing personal PC. The greatest asset we have It’s preserving and enhancing personal PC. The greatest asset we have. It’s we.PHYSICALExercise, Nutrition, Stress ManagementSOCIALService, Empathy,Synergy, Intrinsic SecuritySPIRITUALValue Clarification & Commitment, Study & MeditationMENTALReading, Visualizing, Planning, Writing
101 Habit Seven - Sharpen the Saw The Habit of Renewal Four Dimensions of RenewalSharpen the Saw is a daily process of renewing for four dimensions ofour nature : Physical, Mental, Spiritual and Social / Emotional.These four dimensions sustain and increase our capacities and help usdiscipline our mind, body and spirit. This daily private victory is avictory over self. Not only does the daily Private victory stimulate growth,but it also helps us to achieve the Public Victory. As we achieve thesevictories through renewal, we cultivate and nurture the other six habits.
102 Habit Seven - Sharpen the Saw The Habit of Renewal Four Dimensions of RenewalWe can sharpen the Saw in Four Areas :Physical (Body):We build physical wellness through proper nutrition, exercise, restAnd stress management.Mental (Mind) :We increase mental capacity through, reading, writing, and thinking.
103 Habit Seven - Sharpen the Saw The Habit of Renewal Four Dimensions of RenewalWe can sharpen the Saw in Four Areas :Spiritual (Spirit):We develop spiritually through reading inspiring literature, throughmeditating and praying and through spending time with nature.Social / Emotional (Other Relationships) :We mature socially and emotionally by making consistent, dailyDeposits in the Emotional Bank Account of our key relationships.
104 It’s exercising the four dimensions of our nature regularly and consistently, in wise and balanced way.
105 The Upward Spiral of Growth Success is a long journey, not a destination“ A thousand-mile journey begins with the first step”. And can only be taken one step at a time.“ How can we remember our ignorance which our growth requires, when we are using our knowledge all the time”.
107 PARADIGM SHIFTS Habit 1 Habit 2 Habit 3 Habit 4 Habit 5 Habit 6 A BREAK FROMTRADITIONAL WISDOMTOWARD7 HABITS PRINCIPLESHabit 1We are a product of our environment and upbringing.We are a product of our choices to our environment and upbringing.Habit 2Society is the source of our values.Values are self-chosen and provide foundation for decision making. Values flow out of principles.Habit 3Reactive to the tyranny of the urgent. Acted upon by the environment.Actions flow from that which is important.Habit 4Win-lose.One-sided benefit.Win-win.Mutual benefit.Habit 5Fight, flight, or compromise when faced with conflict.Communication solves problems.Habit 6Differences are threats. Independence is the highest value. Unity means sameness.Differences are values and are opportunities for synergy.Habit 7Entropy.Burnout on one track - typically work.Continuous self-renewal and self-improvement.
108 I can forgive, forget, and let BE PROACTIVEI can forgive, forget, and letgo of past injusticesI choose my attitude,emotions, and moodsI’m the creative force of my lifeI’m aware that I’m responsible
112 HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE SEVEN HABITS OFHIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLEEFFECTIVE PEOPLEINEFFECTIVE PEOPLEHABIT 1Be Proactive. Proactive people take responsibility for their own lives. They determine the agendas they will follow and choose their response to what happens around them.Be Reactive. Reactive people don’t take responsibility for their own lives. They feel victimized, a product of circumstances, their past, and other people. They do not see as the creative force of their lives.
113 HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE SEVEN HABITS OFHIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLEEFFECTIVE PEOPLEINEFFECTIVE PEOPLEHABIT 2Begin with the End in Mind. These people use personal vision, correct principles, and their deep sense of personal meaning to accomplish tasks in a positive and effective way. They live life based on self-chosen values and are guided by their personal mission statement.Begin with No End in Mind. These people lack personal vision and have not developed a deep sense of personal meaning and purpose. They have not paid the price to develop a mission statement and thus live life based on society’s values instead of self-chosen values.
114 HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE SEVEN HABITS OFHIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLEEFFECTIVE PEOPLEINEFFECTIVE PEOPLEHABIT 3Put First Things First. These people exercise discipline, and they plan and execute according to priorities. They also “walk their talk” and spend significant time in Quadrant II.Put Second Things First. These people are crisis managers who are unable to stay focused on high-leverage tasks because of their preoccupation with circumstances, their past, or other people. They are caught up in the “thick of thin things” and are driven by the urgent.
115 HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE SEVEN HABITS OFHIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLEEFFECTIVE PEOPLEINEFFECTIVE PEOPLEHABIT 4Think Win-Win.These people have an abundance mentality and the spirit of cooperation. They achieve effective communication and high trust levels in their Emotional Bank Accounts with others, resulting in rewarding relationships and greater power to influence.Think Win-Lose or Lose-Win. These people have a scarcity mentality and see life as a zero-sum game. They have ineffective communication skills and low trust levels in their Emotional Bank Accounts with others, resulting in a defensive mentality and adversarial feelings.
116 HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE SEVEN HABITS OFHIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLEEFFECTIVE PEOPLEINEFFECTIVE PEOPLEHABIT 5Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. Through perceptive observation and empathic listening, these non-judgmental people are intent on learning the needs, interests, and concerns of others. They are then able to courageously state their own needs and wants.Seek First to Be Understood. These people put forth their point of view based solely on their auto-biography and motives, without attempting to understand others first. They blindly prescribe without first diagnosing the problem.
117 HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE SEVEN HABITS OFHIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLEEFFECTIVE PEOPLEINEFFECTIVE PEOPLEHABIT 6Synergize. Effective people know that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. They value and benefit from differences in others, which results in creative cooperation and team-work.Compromise, Fight, or Flight. Ineffective people believe the whole is less than the sum of the parts. They try to “clone” other people in their own image. Differences in others are looked upon as threats.
118 HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE SEVEN HABITS OFHIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLEEFFECTIVE PEOPLEINEFFECTIVE PEOPLEHABIT 7Sharpen the Saw. Effective people are involved in self-renewal and self-improvement in the physical, mental, spiritual, and social-emotional areas, which enhance all areas off their life and nurture the other six habits.Wear Out the Saw. Ineffective people fall back, lose their interest, and get disordered. They lack a program of self-renewal and self-improvement and eventually lose the cutting edge they once had.
121 WHICH THE SEVEN HABITS ARE BASED SEVEN PRINCIPLES UPONWHICH THE SEVEN HABITS ARE BASEDThe Seven Habits center on timeless and universal principles of personal, interpersonal, managerial, and organizational effectiveness. Listed below are the seven principles upon which the Seven Habits are based-principles which are in our circle of influence.
122 WHICH THE SEVEN HABITS ARE BASED SEVEN PRINCIPLES UPONWHICH THE SEVEN HABITS ARE BASED1. The principle of continuous learning, of self- reeducation - the discipline that drives us toward the values we believe in. Such constant learning is required in today’s world, in light of the fact that many of us can expect to work in up to five radically different fields before we retire.2. The principle of service, of giving oneself to others, of helping to facilitate other people’s work.
123 WHICH THE SEVEN HABITS ARE BASED SEVEN PRINCIPLES UPONWHICH THE SEVEN HABITS ARE BASED3. The principle of staying positive and optimistic, radiating positive energy - including avoiding the four emotional cancers (criticizing, complaining, comparing, and competing).4. The principle of affirmation of others - treating people as proactive individuals who have great potential.5. The principle of balance - the ability to identify our various roles and to spend appropriate amounts of time in, and focus on, all the important roles and dimensions of our life. Success in one area of our life cannot compensate for neglect or failure in other areas of our life.
124 WHICH THE SEVEN HABITS ARE BASED SEVEN PRINCIPLES UPONWHICH THE SEVEN HABITS ARE BASED6. The balance of spontaneity and serendipity - the ability to experience life with a sense of adventure, excitement, and fresh rediscovery, instead of trying to find a serious side to things that have no serious side.7. The principle of consistent self-renewal and self- improvement in the four dimensions of one’s life: physical, mental, spiritual, and social emotional.
125 PYRAMID OF INFLUENCETEACHINGRELATIONSHIPEXAMPLE
128 PUBLIC LIFE PRIVATE LIFE SECRET LIFE FOUR UNIQUE HUMAN ENDOWMENTS 1. Self-awareness2. Conscience3. Imagination4. Willpower
129 FOUR UNIQUE HUMAN ENDOWMENTS 1. Self-AwarenessWe begin to become self-aware and explore the programs we are living out. We come to realize that we stand apart from our programming and can even examine it. We also realize that between stimulus and response, we have the freedom to choose. This self-awareness then leads to the ability to look at other unique endowments in our secret life.
130 FOUR UNIQUE HUMAN ENDOWMENTS 2. Conscience Our conscience is our internal sense of right and wrong, our “moral nature.” It is the “greater harmonizer” and “balance wheel” of all the principles that govern our behavior. Our conscience gives us a sense of the degree to which our thoughts and actions are in harmony with our principles.
131 FOUR UNIQUE HUMAN ENDOWMENTS 3. Power of Imagination We can visit the power of the mind to create or to imagine that which does not exist now. In that imagination lie our faith and our hope for the future. We look at what is possible, what we can envision.
132 FOUR UNIQUE HUMAN ENDOWMENTS 4. Willpower or Independent Will Willpower refers to our determination, our resoluteness - our ability to act based solely on our self-awareness. We ask ourselves, “Am I really willing to to the distance on my mission statement?” “Am I willing to walk my talk?” “Am I really willing to put first things first in spite of external distractions and pressures?” “Am I going to live a life of total integrity?”
133 BASIC CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD MISSION STATEMENTS Developing a mission statement is foundational to Habit 2, Begin with the End in Mind. It sets general guidelines for our life based on our values and our roles and goals. There are four basic characteristics of good mission statements, whether they be personal, family, or organizational mission statements.
134 BASIC CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD MISSION STATEMENTS 1. A mission statement should be timeless and changeless. Because goals are not timeless, they should not be included. Mission statements should be based upon unchanging core principles that operate regardless of present realities or situations. This changeless core will enable us to live with changes inside other people and inside the environment. As our consciousness grows and we mature, we will gradually strengthen, deepen, and improve our mission statement. Nevertheless, we should always initially write our mission statement as if it will never change - as if it were timeless.
135 BASIC CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD MISSION STATEMENTS 2. A mission statement should deal with both ends and means. Ends have to do with what we are about. Means have to do with how we go about achieving those ends. Principles are what we implements to achieve those ends. Ends and means are inseparable. In truth, ends preexist in the means. “You’ll never achieve a worthy end through unworthy means.”
136 BASIC CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD MISSION STATEMENTS 3. A mission statement should deal with all four of our basic needs: a. To live (our physical and economic needs) b. To love and to be loved (our cultural and social ends) c. To learn (our needs to grow, develop, be recognized, and be useful) d. To leave a legacy (our spiritual need for meaning, for feeling that life matters, that we add value and make a difference.
137 BASIC CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD MISSION STATEMENTS A mission statement should deal with all the significant roles of our life, such as a parent, teacher, manager, neighbor, and so forth.“Internalizing” our mission statement will also help us get a clear understanding of what is truly important. Goethe once said, “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” This means that we learn how to say no at appropriate times. Every time we say yes to something that is of little or no importance, we are saying no to something that is more important. Almost every day, most of us are caught in circumstances where we should say no but don’t. We often lack the ability to utter a firm but gracious no.
138 SIX LEVELS OF INITIATIVE 6Use own judgement, not necessary to report5Use own judgement, report routinely4Use own judgement, report immediately3Bring recommendations2Ask for instructions1Wait for instructions
139 PERSONAL IMMUNE SYSTEM Time wastersLive the Seven HabitsSpend timein Quadrant IIFollow correctprinciplesControl own lifeMaintain highEmotional BankAccount with selfand othersMaintain reservecapacityBe resilientEmpower andserve othersCommunicateEmpathicallySynergize withothers using awin-win approachDuplicityInterruptionsUnkindnessPressingproblemsViolatedexpectationsCrisesOutside stressand pressures
140 EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT KEEP PROMISESAPOLOGIZEUNDERSTAND OTHERSCLARIFY EXPECTATIONSTREAT OTHER KINDLYLOYALITY TO THE ABSENTEMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT
141 The 7 habits of highly effective people is a holistic, integrated, principle centered approach for solving our personal and professional problemsPrinciples that give us the security to adapt to change and the wisdom and power to take advantage of the opportunities that change creates.