Presentation on theme: "Preteens and Pornography"— Presentation transcript:
1 Preteens and Pornography Andrew Hymas, LCSWUpper Valley Resource and Counseling Center
2 What we’ll cover Preventing exposure/interest/addiction EducationAwarenessManagementAddressing a problemSupportTreatmentRepentance
3 Some Basics Emotional Development achieved by approximately age 5. Cognitive Development is not achieved until early 20’s.Children can experience full range of emotions and arousal, but don’t have the cognitive filters to manage them.ations/the-teen-brain-still-under- construction/index.shtmladolescent-brain-a-work-in-progress/
4 Order of brain growth and development: 2 Emotional BrainEmotionsMemoryBonding1 Old BrainBasic survival functionsInstinctual behavior“Fight or flight” response3 Rational Brain“Executive Center”Still under construction in children and teens
5 Some basics Behavior is driven by needs. Problematic behavior is a result of unmet needs.In order to address problematic behavior, the unmet need must be addressed.Meeting higher needs can override lower needs (values and morals).
6 Prevention: Education Values and MoralsRight vs. wrong AND whySelf-AwarenessEmotional IntelligenceInner dialogueSelf ControlInitially based on structure created by parents.Migrates to decisions based on social feedbackGrows into decisions based on values and morals.
7 Prevention: Education Moral IntelligenceEmpathyConscienceSelf-ControlRespectKindnessToleranceFairnessRelationshipsCommunicationCooperationInteraction
8 Prevention: Education Sexual Developmentxuality-child-development“The Talk”Age appropriateBased on morals and values.BoundariesWhat is okay/not okayRole play (If someone…)
9 Prevention: Awareness Exposure RisksFirst exposure between age 8 and 10.Often while doing homeworkFriendsLibraryMobile devices are the most common way pornography is accessedFive “W’s”WhoWhatWhenWhereWhy
10 Prevention: Management Device ManagementComputers in public areasMobile devices (where are they)Smart televisions/internet access devicesFilters/passwords/trackerInteraction managementKnow friendsKnow rules at friend’s housesRestrict as needed (Protection is priority)
11 Prevention: Management RULESHome rulesDevice use/time framesBedroom time/activitiesWhere friends can/cannot goRules for friend’s housesRatingsWhere it is okay/not okay to beAsk the w’sRules about electronic devices at other’s houses.
12 Addressing a problem: Support Check your own emotional response.Gather information and guidanceDevelop a planDon’t:Lose your temperBelittleCondemnPunishAvoid
13 Addressing a problem: Support With your child:Discuss the behavior empatheticallyUse active listening to assess their feelingsSupport your child in developing a plan for changeInclude in the plan goals and criteria for regular reporting and check-insGive it time, be patient with relapseSupport the child in making change they want to make. Making them change or punishing may lead to rebellion, and will damage your relationship.
14 Addressing a problem: Treatment Resistance, family conflict, or the behavior is not improving.Mood problems, significant behavioral issues, suicidal ideation/attempts.Significant change in behavior, friends, attitude.Other sexual behavior or concerns, or any history of abuse or neglect.Feeling overwhelmed, not sure how to proceed or handle the situation.
15 Addressing a problem: Repentance Bishops must be involved with pornography repentance.BasicsPrayerScripture StudyChurch attendanceFASTINGServiceconference/2004/10/in-the-strength- of-the-lord?lang=eng