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Preteens and Pornography Andrew Hymas, LCSW Upper Valley Resource and Counseling Center.

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Presentation on theme: "Preteens and Pornography Andrew Hymas, LCSW Upper Valley Resource and Counseling Center."— Presentation transcript:

1 Preteens and Pornography Andrew Hymas, LCSW Upper Valley Resource and Counseling Center

2 What we’ll cover ▪ Preventing exposure/interest/addiction ▪ Education ▪ Awareness ▪ Management ▪ Addressing a problem ▪ Support ▪ Treatment ▪ Repentance

3 Some Basics ▪ Emotional Development achieved by approximately age 5. ▪ Cognitive Development is not achieved until early 20’s. ▪ Children can experience full range of emotions and arousal, but don’t have the cognitive filters to manage them. ▪ ations/the-teen-brain-still-under- construction/index.shtml ations/the-teen-brain-still-under- construction/index.shtml ▪ adolescent-brain-a-work-in-progress/

4 Order of brain growth and development: 3 Rational Brain  “Executive Center”  Still under construction in children and teens 2 Emotional Brain  Emotions  Memory  Bonding 1 Old Brain  Basic survival functions  Instinctual behavior  “Fight or flight” response

5 Some basics ▪ Behavior is driven by needs. ▪ Problematic behavior is a result of unmet needs. ▪ In order to address problematic behavior, the unmet need must be addressed. ▪ Meeting higher needs can override lower needs (values and morals).

6 Prevention: Education ▪ Values and Morals ▪ Right vs. wrong AND why ▪ Self-Awareness ▪ Emotional Intelligence ▪ Inner dialogue ▪ Self Control ▪ Initially based on structure created by parents. ▪ Migrates to decisions based on social feedback ▪ Grows into decisions based on values and morals.

7 Prevention: Education ▪ Moral Intelligence ▪ Empathy ▪ Conscience ▪ Self-Control ▪ Respect ▪ Kindness ▪ Tolerance ▪ Fairness ▪ Relationships ▪ Communication ▪ Cooperation ▪ Interaction

8 Prevention: Education ▪ Sexual Development ▪ xuality-child-development ▪ “The Talk” ▪ Age appropriate ▪ Based on morals and values. ▪ Boundaries ▪ What is okay/not okay ▪ Role play (If someone…)

9 Prevention: Awareness ▪ Exposure Risks ▪ First exposure between age 8 and 10. ▪ Often while doing homework ▪ Friends ▪ Library ▪ Mobile devices are the most common way pornography is accessed ▪ Five “W’s” ▪ Who ▪ What ▪ When ▪ Where ▪ Why

10 Prevention: Management ▪ Device Management ▪ Computers in public areas ▪ Mobile devices (where are they) ▪ Smart televisions/internet access devices ▪ Filters/passwords/tracker ▪ Interaction management ▪ Know friends ▪ Know rules at friend’s houses ▪ Restrict as needed (Protection is priority)

11 Prevention: Management ▪ RULES ▪ Home rules ▪ Device use/time frames ▪ Bedroom time/activities ▪ Where friends can/cannot go ▪ Rules for friend’s houses ▪ Ratings ▪ Where it is okay/not okay to be ▪ Ask the w’s ▪ Rules about electronic devices at other’s houses.

12 Addressing a problem: Support ▪ Check your own emotional response. ▪ Gather information and guidance ▪ Develop a plan ▪ Don’t: ▪ Lose your temper ▪ Belittle ▪ Condemn ▪ Punish ▪ Avoid

13 Addressing a problem: Support ▪ With your child: ▪ Discuss the behavior empathetically ▪ Use active listening to assess their feelings ▪ Support your child in developing a plan for change ▪ Include in the plan goals and criteria for regular reporting and check-ins ▪ Give it time, be patient with relapse ▪ Support the child in making change they want to make. Making them change or punishing may lead to rebellion, and will damage your relationship.

14 Addressing a problem: Treatment ▪ Resistance, family conflict, or the behavior is not improving. ▪ Mood problems, significant behavioral issues, suicidal ideation/attempts. ▪ Significant change in behavior, friends, attitude. ▪ Other sexual behavior or concerns, or any history of abuse or neglect. ▪ Feeling overwhelmed, not sure how to proceed or handle the situation.

15 Addressing a problem: Repentance ▪ Bishops must be involved with pornography repentance. ▪ Basics ▪ Prayer ▪ Scripture Study ▪ Church attendance ▪ FASTING ▪ Service ▪ https://www.lds.org/general- conference/2004/10/in-the-strength- of-the-lord?lang=eng


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