“Giving Children Choices” Wise parents gain the control they need by giving away the control they don't need.
* What parenting style do you strive for? * What style do you think you utilize most? Helicopter Drill Sergeant Consultant
* How do your answers reflect your parental Beliefs? * How do your answers reflect your parental Actions? * What parenting style do your beliefs and actions yield? High Autocratic Drill Sergeant High Permissive Helicopter/Neglect High Active Consultant
* Does a helicopter parent provide choices for their child? * What types? * What messages do the choices send to the child? * Does a drill sergeant parent provide choices for their child? * What types? * What messages do the choices send to the child?
* What kids believe their magic people believe is what remains with them. Kids will never be fooled by words when those words contradict actions. * Actions convey the most powerful message, a fact that has been recognized for millennia. * God help us if we interact with kids and don’t realize this.
So, why do we often fear giving our children choices?
What parents say … What children believe… “Would you like to put on your PJs now or in 15 minutes?” “Will you be wearing your coat or carrying it?” “Would you like me to help with your math, or would it be better if you got a tutor?” “I have the choice on how I get ready for bed.” “I have the ability to chose the best tools and strategies to help me.” “I know whether I am cold or not.”
“My teacher thinks I am lazy or lying when I say I don’t remember or understand the directions for an assignment. I don’t even say anything to him anymore.” Child’s Action? ? Child says…Parent says….. ? Child thinks…
“The kids were teasing me again at lunch. My teacher said that I kind of started it by annoying some of the other kids.” Child’s Action? ? Child says…Parent says….. ? Child thinks…