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Increasing Knowledge and Awareness of Child Sexual Abuse Issues Bruce Michael Cappo, Ph.D. Clinical Associates, P.A. St. Benedict’s Abbey June 6 th 2005.

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Presentation on theme: "Increasing Knowledge and Awareness of Child Sexual Abuse Issues Bruce Michael Cappo, Ph.D. Clinical Associates, P.A. St. Benedict’s Abbey June 6 th 2005."— Presentation transcript:

1 Increasing Knowledge and Awareness of Child Sexual Abuse Issues Bruce Michael Cappo, Ph.D. Clinical Associates, P.A. St. Benedict’s Abbey June 6 th 2005

2 Goals Boundaries with Minors Prevalence, Identification and Prevention of Child abuse Self-protection from False Allegations of Sexual Abuse Warning Signs Associated with Preferential and Situational Abuse of Minors Discussion and Interaction - this should be an interactive presentation – discussion is learning

3 Praesidium Accreditation Qualifies as part of the Praesidium Accreditation process Independent team of specialists reviews to make sure organization has met or exceeded all standards

4 Membership Requires Participation in education regarding development of a mature and integrated celibate sexuality Development of the ability to identify and address challenges to maintaining celibacy and healthy intimate relationships

5 Members must NOT continue if.. There is ANY abuse of a minor There is an inability to maintain appropriate boundaries despite guidelines and instruction

6 Vows or Promises of Celibacy DO NOT CAUSE ABUSE OF MINORS Celibacy is an achievable and reasonable promise

7 About Me BA, MA & PhD from Univ. of Kansas Interned at Univ. of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center  7 Hospitals including world’s largest children’s hospital Community Mental Health Private Practice

8 Experience Clinical Associates, P.A.  19 Practitioners  Everything except child custody evals Evaluation  Risk assessment State of KS Sexual Predator Transition Program Treatment

9 Boundaries with Minors Identify behaviors and interactions that are prohibited under all circumstances Identify positive forms of affection and demonstration of ministerial care for minors that are appropriate under most circumstances Familial relationships may be different

10 Prohibited Behaviors Standards of Conduct for Ministry with Minors Code of Ethical Standards for Monastery Persons The following are directly from relevant sections of these documents for discussion

11 1. Prohibited Behaviors a. Using, possessing, or being under the influence of illegal drugs while in the presence of minors. b. Using, possessing, or being under the influence of while supervising minors. c. Providing or allowing minors to consume alcohol or illegal drugs. d. Swearing in the presence of minors.

12 1. Prohibited Behaviors e. Speaking to minors in a way that is or could be construed by any observer as harsh, threatening, intimidating, shaming, derogatory, demeaning, or humiliating. f. Discussing sexual activities with minors unless it is a specific job requirement and the monk is trained to discuss these matters g. Engaging in any sexually oriented conversations with minors unless the conversations are part of a legitimate lesson and discussion for teenagers regarding human sexuality issues. On such occasions, the lessons will convey to youth the Church¹s teachings on these topics. If youth have further questions not answered or addressed by their individual teachers they should be referred to their parents or guardians for clarification or counseling.

13 1. Prohibited Behaviors h. Being nude in the presence of minors. i. Possessing sexually oriented or morally inappropriate printed materials (magazines, cards, videos, films, clothing, etc.). j. Sleeping in the same beds, sleeping bags or small tents with minors. k. Engaging in sexual contact with minors. For the purposes of this policy, sexual contact is defined as vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, oral intercourse or the touching of an erogenous zone of another (including but not limited to the thighs, genitals, buttocks, pubic region or chest) for the purpose of sexually arousing or gratifying either person.

14 2. Off-site events a. Monks are prohibited from transporting minors without written permission of their parent or guardian. b. Monks are prohibited from unnecessary and/or inappropriate physical contact with minors while in vehicles. c. Minors should be transported directly to their destination. No unplanned stops should be made. d. Monks are prohibited from having minors stay at their residence. Requests for exceptions should be submitted to the abbot in writing two weeks prior to the visit. e. Changing and showering facilities or arrangements for monks must be separate from facilities or arrangements for minors.

15 3. Physical contact a. Monks are prohibited from using physical discipline in any way for behavior management of minors. No form of physical discipline is acceptable. This prohibition includes spanking, slapping, pinching, hitting, or any other physical force as retaliation or correction for inappropriate behaviors by minors. b. Appropriate affection between Members and minors constitutes a positive part of Church life and ministry. The following forms of affection are regarded as appropriate examples for monks in ministry roles with minors:

16 Appropriate Examples Hugs. Pats on the shoulder or back. Hand-shakes. “High-fives” and hand slapping. Verbal praise. Touching hands, faces, shoulders and arms of minors. Arms around shoulders.

17 Appropriate Examples Holding hands while walking with small children. Sitting beside small children. Kneeling or bending down for hugs with small children. Holding hands during prayer. Pats on the head when culturally appropriate. (For example, this gesture should typically be avoided in some Asian communities).

18 Inappropriate Examples c. Some forms of physical affection have been used by adults to initiate inappropriate contact with minors. Inappropriate or lengthy embraces. Kissing on the mouth. Holding minors over four years old on the lap. Touching buttocks, chests or genital areas. Showing affection in isolated areas such as bedrooms, closets, staff-only areas or other private rooms.

19 Inappropriate Examples Being in bed with a minor. Touching knees or legs of minors. Wrestling with minors. Tickling minors. Piggyback rides Any type of massage given by minor to adult. Any type of massage given by adult to minor. Any form of unwanted affection. Compliments that relate to physique or body development.

20 4. CONDUCT WITH MINORS Monastery Persons working with minors should use appropriate judgment marked by personal and professional integrity to ensure safe and trusting relationships, avoiding any and all appearances of impropriety 4.1. Monastery Persons must be aware of their own vulnerability and that of any individual minor with whom they may be working. In every instance possible a team approach to ministry with youth should be considered In group settings an appropriate ratio of adults to young people should be maintained Monastery Persons should exercise prudent caution when meeting with minors, especially in a one-on-one encounter. Secluded meeting places must be avoided.

21 4. CONDUCT WITH MINORS 4.4. Any physical contact with minors may be misconstrued by both minors and other adults and should only occur under appropriate public circumstances. Monastery Persons are responsible for maintaining sexual boundaries in a pastoral relationship with minors. Monastery Persons should know and understand the diocesan and abbey policies and procedures concerning allegations of sexual misconduct involving minors and the developmentally disabled Monastery Persons do not supply or condone the use of alcohol, tobacco and/or any other illegal drugs by minors. Further, Monastery Persons are to refrain from the use of alcohol, tobacco and illegal drugs while working with minors.

22 4. CONDUCT WITH MINORS 4.6. Monastery Persons do not provide any sexually explicit, inappropriate, or offensive material to minors, nor do they discuss their own sexual experiences or use sexually explicit or vulgar language Providing overnight accommodations in rectories or other personal residences for parish minors, or other minors with whom the Monastery Person may have other than a close familial relationship, is prohibited Monastery Persons should not go on vacations or overnights alone with minors. It is not appropriate for an adult to share a bed with a minor. Sharing a bedroom, other than a dormitory style room, with a minor(s) is not permitted.

23 What those behaviors have in common Obvious & explicit crossing of boundaries Justified crossing of boundaries Rationalized crossing of boundaries A relaxing of boundaries Pushing the limits of boundaries

24 If he did this…then…. How would such actions be viewed in retrospect? Is this part of a pattern? Does this constitute grooming? Is this someone who disregards rules, polices procedures when convenient? What else has happened that we don’t yet know about?

25 Takes into consideration the individual characteristics of the minor Certain persons are more vulnerable than others Personality characteristics of minor Possible psychological difficulties Minor may have a history of abuse or neglect Misinterpretation of actions & intent by minor

26 Trivia Snapshot A YoYo can achieve speeds up to 11,000 rpm

27 Prevalence, Identification and Prevention of Child abuse Participation in a minimum of 3 hours of education on child sexual abuse every 3 years Updated information made available on an annual basis

28 Definitions A heterosexual possesses a primary sexual desire toward persons of the opposite gender A homosexual possesses a primary sexual desire toward persons of the same gender A bisexual possesses a primary sexual desire toward persons of both genders A pedophile possesses a primary sexual desire toward children A ephebophile possesses a primary sexual desire toward adolescents (usually male)  A hebephile possesses a primary sexual desire toward pubescent boys ages  An ephebephile possesses a primary sexual desire toward post- pubescent boys ages 14-17

29 The Problem 1 in 8 males will be sexually abused 1 in 4 females will be sexually abused NOT limited to the Catholic Church 2% - 6% of priests have had a sexual experience with a minor 60,000 active and inactive priests and brothers in the U.S to 3000 have engaged sexually with minors

30 The Problem (cont) 2% - 6% consistent with male clergy from other religious traditions Estimates range upwards of 8% for general male adult population Thus, less likely a clergy than others but any abuse is too much, especially to those we trust with our children Nearly all clergy do not abuse children

31 The Problem Only 1% of children are abused by strangers This is where the focus was for years in terms of training our children to be wary of strangers No one said to be wary of friends, family, or trusted adults – but that is who abuses

32 Specifics of those who offend 80% - 90% of clergy engage adolescent boys not prepubescent children Teenage males more at risk than children of any other age and than females Technically, ephebophiles rather than pedophiles (continuing controversy in the field about these terms and so not used as much as you would think)

33 Specifics of those who offend Vast majority offend about a year after ordination – not before Must look at risk factors during screening rather than past history of behaviors Screening out only those who have offended in the past is a tiny amount

34 Risk Factors History of childhood sexual abuse Social isolation Poor social skills Impulse control problems Psychiatric co-morbidity  Substance abuse  Mood disorders  Personality disorders

35 Marriage does not solve the problem Other religious traditions where priests do marry have same problem Non religious have same problem Simply not having access to a sexual partner whether married or not does not turn one toward children as a focus of that sexuality

36 Homosexuality Sexual orientation does not predict sexual abuse of children Homosexual men are not more likely to engage in illegal sexual behavior with children than heterosexual men Joaquin Navarro-Valls (official spokesman for the Vatican) – identified pedophilia with homosexuality and suggested the priesthood become less welcoming to homosexuals – fueled confusion and misinformation

37 Why the focus on Catholics? Defensive when issue arises “Circle the wagons” approach early on Victims not treated with compassion Checks and balances of other organization not in place in the Catholic Church Board of Directors, outside members, performance evaluations do not exist

38 Catholic Hierarchy Catholic priests, brothers answer to one religious superior If he does not manage the situation well then problems persist, proliferate Offenders were tolerated, moved, etc thus potentially creating more victims per offender than other religious A single individual can have more power (Boston) and greater influence

39 The Past in our Present Most cases reported are decades old Average age of offender is 53 Our knowledge of sexual abuse and the damage associated with it has increased Not much research before the 1980s

40 Prevalence in the Past 30 years ago it is estimated that 23% of male psychotherapists were sexually involved with clients Through education, changes in law and ethics requirements this has now changed dramatically

41 Then … 30 years ago there were no psychological evaluations for men entering the religious life Entered from high school No training in sexuality, boundaries, impulse control, etc

42 … And Now Older – often late 20s or even 30s Often had appropriate and satisfying intimate relationships before seminary Psychological evaluation for risk factors Training in sexuality and impulse control

43 Ongoing Discussion / Actions Emphasis on discussing such issues and dealing with them as they occur Do not wait for things to reach a crisis Police analogy – “fitness for duty” This is an illness People deserve treatment People deserve compassion

44 What to do Anyone accused is immediately put on administrative leave Legal authorities notified Evaluation by a trained professional Treatment as appropriate Support

45 Don’t forget the victims Legal issues Treatment Compassion No blaming

46 Trivia Snapshot When you watch a baseball game on TV you actually hear the crack of the bat sooner than the fans at the game because of the placement of the microphone and the speed of sound versus the speed of the electrical transmissions used for broadcasting the signal

47 Self-protection from False Allegations of Sexual Abuse Understand the potential of high risk situations Discuss with leadership situations of concern regarding the possibility of false allegations

48 Top 3 things to know about False Allegations Very Rare

49 That’s not very comforting …. Thus, ALL allegations taken seriously Person is realistically in a position of proving innocence rather than prosecutor proving guilt “Guilty until proven innocent” Even the allegation alone does extensive damage

50 But…False allegations do happen Child custody issues “Therapists gone wild”  McMartin daycare “Prosecutors/Social Services gone Wild”  Washington state – 60 people – no convictions Repressed Memories  NO research support

51 Circle the wagons - WRONG Blame the victims Deny, Deny, Deny Only makes people angry Results in increased suspicion and mistrust

52 Take positive action Tylenol example of handing business crises – still taught in business schools Quick response No secrecy Involve authorities Builds trust Facilitates forgiveness

53 High Risk situations Seemingly Unimportant Decisions (SUDs) Vulnerable individuals Persons with psychological disorders Borderline personality disorder Histrionic personality disorder Perception IS Reality

54 Hey, Didn’t you just say…. Don’t blame the victim YES This is not blame This is not walking in the bad part of town, alone, after dark, waving dollar bills in the air and whistling “I’m in the money” It is avoiding high risk situations

55 Personality Disorders Only diagnosable at age 18 or more Developing characteristics clearly present in teenage years These two are more likely found in females than males but can be diagnosed in either gender

56 Borderline Personality Disorder Intense bouts of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last only hours, or at most a day Episodes of impulsive aggression, self-injury, and drug or alcohol abuse Distortions in cognition and sense of self Frequent changes in long-term goals, career plans, jobs, friendships, gender identity, and values

57 Borderline Personality Disorder Sometimes view themselves as fundamentally bad, unworthy They feel unfairly misunderstood or mistreated, bored, empty, and have little idea who they are Such symptoms are most acute when people feel isolated and lacking in social support This may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone

58 Borderline Personality Disorder Highly unstable patterns of social relationships Intense but stormy attachments Attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike) They may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all. Even with family members

59 Borderline Personality Disorder Highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to such mild separations as a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans. These fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual feeling lost perhaps worthless. Suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments.

60 Borderline Personality Disorder The may exhibit other impulsive behaviors, such as excessive spending, binge eating and risky sex Often occurs together with other psychiatric problems, particularly bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and other personality disorders.

61 Histrionic Personality Disorder A pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention Interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior

62 Histrionic Personality Disorder Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail

63 Histrionic Personality Disorder Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion Is suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are

64 Vulnerable Persons Lack of adult supervision Chaotic & dysfunctional home life May not know or understand proper boundaries from their upbringing May have learned to confuse sex and love May be past victim with unresolved / untreated issues

65 The Teen Brain – It really IS Different Teens don’t think like adults because they can’t yet Greatest brain growth occurs by 18 months Brain growth complete by age 3 Nope – brain not developed fully even at 18 Prefrontal Cortex develops till age 25

66 Maturing ages 5 through 20 years


68 What to do Identify what is going on Discuss Take action – refer for treatment Don’t get in past your level of expertise Take total responsibility for setting all boundaries independent of the actions of others – acknowledge power difference People may not make best choices at specific times of crisis in their lives

69 Avoiding the Perception of Impropriety Found in many codes of ethics Just because you aren’t doing anything wrong doesn’t mean you are doing things right As a psychologist I tell people I don’t care about reality, I deal in the perception of reality Geraldo Rivera - It doesn’t matter what’s in the vault –we can still base a TV show on what people think might be in the vault

70 Things are often true but irrelevant 60 Minutes test - KC STAR test If what you are about to do ended up on the news would that be OK? Do not always live your life by what might happen – but neglecting to consider the possible implications of your actions is dangerous

71 But I didn’t do anything wrong ! Psychologist specialized in working with victims of sexual trauma His relative dies and leaves him part interest in a legal and legitimate strip club business He does not divest himself of the holding and word eventually gets out that he is part owner A complaint is made to the licensing board

72 True Story Board decides that he cannot BOTH treat victims of trauma and own the club They restrict his license and tell him to divest himself of the club They acknowledge that he is doing nothing illegal They focus on the public perception and potential damage to the individuals he has/would treat and the profession

73 Mr. Mooney & Lucy He has a dream about a horse winning Sends Lucy to the track for him Cannot go himself because he is acutely aware of what people might think if they see their banker at the track Why this story – because it emphasizes that such thinking is part of our culture and has been for decades

74 Trivia Snapshot A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second

75 Warning Signs Associated with Preferential and Situational Abuse of Minors Discussion of preferential and situational offenders Description of frequently occurring warning signs associated with abuse

76 About the offender “I love children” “I could never harm a child” No set demographics or descriptions Expert at gaining trust Expert at manipulation Create a persona of goodness beyond reproach – those that question their sincerity or motives are the bad ones

77 About the offender Power differential Rarely use direct force - but can happen Manipulation Testing limits – each touch only slightly more than before – pushes boundaries Plant seeds of ideas that grow  I’ll tell them for you – they will believe me  Implies child may not be believed

78 About the offender – no set pattern Educationally Vocationally Socio-economically Religiously Other variant sexual behaviors

79 What to notice Games Wrestling Tickling Taking a “sex survey” Courting – grooming behaviors  Buying gifts  Special treatment  Trips, movies, treats, etc

80 What to notice Gives special meaning to children because of their lack of power and dominance Children fulfill a particular need Tendency to gravitate to specific physical characteristics – preferential attraction  Always blond hair or blue eyes

81 What to notice Lack of authentic, appropriate and intimate relationships in his life Use of alcohol or other inhibition lowering substances around minors Invitations to lake houses, special retreats, etc with limited supervision

82 Life challenges Situational factors Alcoholism Unavailability of other relationships Financial hardships Relocation – loss of support factors

83 Grooming Relationships resemble “courting” Rarely violent or aggressive in a direct fashion More of an adult “love affair” quality “Gentle and rational” in their approach These persons may think through their actions over long periods of time

84 Facts vs Myths If there are feelings of attraction towards minors then they will act on it  Just because there is an attraction to minors does not mean he always acts on it If there is no access to adult females then he will switch to males or minors (if there’s no cake then he’ll eat pie)  While there is some evidence of cross- offending, it is not widely believed that this occurs in the majority of cases (not all men in prison become homosexual)

85 Facts vs Myths People who fixate in their maturity level as adolescents are always attracted to teens  Evidence does not support this.  Idea of fixated vs regressed offender is not considered consistent with current research

86 Facts vs Myths There is a test to see if someone is a sex offender  There is no test that will say this for sure  We rate risk based on historical and psychological factors known to be statistically associated with those who do or do not offend  PPG measures arousal but not whether someone will offend

87 Trivia Snapshot Colgate claims "Tooth Fairy" as a registered trademark.

88 Acknowledgements Thomas Plante, Ph.D. ABPP  Santa Clara University  Stanford University School of Medicine Praesidium Religious Services Christian Brothers Risk Management Services

89 Trivia Snapshot The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr. Potato Head®. Introduced in 1952.

90 Time for Your Questions

91 Trivia Snapshot Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt

92 Trivia Snapshot The first product to have a UPC bar code on its packaging was Wrigley's gum.

93 Trivia Snapshot On average women say 7,000 words per day. Men manage just over 2,000.

94 Trivia Snapshot A hedgehog's heart beats 190 times a minute on average and drops to only 20 beats per minute during hibernation

95 Trivia Snapshot The metal instrument used in shoe stores to measure feet is called the Brannock device.

96 Trivia Snapshot Nearly 50% of all bank robberies take place on Friday.

97 Trivia Snapshot Average length of a coat hanger when straightened: ?? 44 inches.

98 Trivia Snapshot An ear of corn averages 800 kernels in 16 rows

99 Trivia Snapshot It is actually the tomato sauce that burns your mouth when pizza is too hot - NOT the cheese

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