1. Day at mall with Dana 2. Started shopping 4.Dana & I had to wash dishes 3. Rising Action Power shopped until we were exhausted 5. As we were leaving, clerk chased us with billfold. 6. Everything was in billfold. 7. We finished the day with a pedicure since we saved money from our lunch Ate at TGIF, could not find billfold. Manager threatened to call police.
Honking the horn on her bright blue minivan, Dana Dillard waited impatiently as her friend, Janet Shaw gathered her things and locked her front door. As antsy as a cat on a hot tin roof, Dana was excited about their shopping trip to the Orange Park Mall. The two teachers were exhausted after enduring a long week of teaching excited elementary students the week before Halloween.
Screeching into the mall’s parking lot, Dana and Janet jumped out of their vehicle almost before it had come to a complete stop. “Get a move on, Jan!” Dana shouted as they rushed into J.C. Penny’s. Grabbing dresses left and right, the two ladies scooped up as much as they could and headed for the dressing room. “How does this look?” Janet queried as she sashayed out of her room wearing a bizarre looking dress. As Dana gawked at her friend’s choice of a hideous chartreuse outfit, she was left speechless.
After shopping for three hours, Dana and Janet were absolutely pooped! “Let’s grab some grub,” Dana suggested, and the two tired shoppers headed for TGI Fridays. Dumping their immense pile of bags under their booth, they perused the delicious array of menu items. Succulent steaks, creamy macaroni and cheese, and tender chicken: Dana and Janet couldn’t decide on just one. “Let’s order all three and share,” suggested Janet. “It’s on me today.”
To be honest, Dana and Janet made absolute pigs of themselves. Stuffing their faces with forkfuls of food, they even ordered dessert: a chocolate brownie overload. Every last bite disappeared down their gullets. “Whew!” Janet declared. “That was delish! Its time to pay the piper now. Waiter, check please.” After clearing away some of the myriad empty plates on the table, the waiter brought the check. “Seventy- five dollars!” exclaimed Dana. “I am glad you are paying!” As Janet reached for her billfold, her face turned as white as a sheet. “My wallet is gone,” she gasped.
Overhearing her comment, the waiter’s face was stone cold. Running into the kitchen, he brought back the store manager, who was livid with anger at the free loading teachers. The unsympathetic manager, Mr. Crumpet, told Dana and Janet that they would have to do all of the dishes, clean the bathrooms, and mop the floors to pay for their exorbitant dinner, or he would have them arrested for food theft. The tired shoppers had no choice but to obey and spent the next three hours toiling over dirty dishes and toilets.
Their day ruined, the melancholy ladies trudged out of TGI Fridays. At that moment, a store clerk ran after them yelling for them to stop. “What now?” muttered Dana. “Excuse me ladies,” the nice clerk apologized. I believe you left this in the dressing rooms. Smiling, he handed Janet her billfold. Her heart leapt in relief as she counted her money and credits cards. Nothing was missing! As they drove out of the Mall parking lot, Dana remarked, “I don’t know about you, but my dogs are barking. Let’s get a pedicure!”
“That is a great idea,” Janet answered. “Besides, we saved all that money from lunch by working it off. I will even swing for a foot massage.” Even though their day had been full of drudgery and misfortune, the two teachers ended their day on a relaxed and happy note.
Narratives should have a beginning that “grabs” the reader, and an ending that leaves them feeling satisfied.