Presentation on theme: "WORKING IT AS A WORKING PARENT Sofia Montes, The University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio “You have brains in your head and feet in your."— Presentation transcript:
WORKING IT AS A WORKING PARENT Sofia Montes, The University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio “You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes; you can steer yourself in any direction you choose!” Dr. Seuss
SETTING THE SCENE…
I’m not perfect. Do as I suggest, not as I do. My situation is as unique as yours… Do more than hear. Be inwardly critical and brutally honest with and about YOURSELF. I’m not perfect.
ROADMAP Working Parents’ Problems... Numbers Tell a Story Solutions Fresh Perspectives
NUMBERS TELL A STORY
WE KNOW A LOT… Girls born in the mid 1970s were > 3 TIMES as likely to pursue their fathers’ careers than women born at the beginning of the 20 th Century. Women continue to pursue high level positions in their industries. More women are seeking more advanced degrees. As a result of the above, more men are playing more prominent parenting roles. More shared responsibilities
WORKING PARENTS’ PROBLEMS
…PROBLEMS Time Technology “Work/Life Balance” Impact on the Innocent Terminology
TIME…THERE ISN’T MUCH LEFT. 220 million adults average an hour and a half a day in their cars. 90 percent of Americans who drive spend an average of 87 minutes a day behind the wheel. For car commuters, it's an average of 100 minutes. For parents with children at home, it’s an average of 104 minutes (compared with 77 minutes for people without kids at home).
TIME…THERE REALLY ISN’T MUCH LEFT. Americans work more than anyone in the industrialized world. Americans take less vacation, work longer days, and retire later. > demands for after-school activities for children with working parents. Americans currently average 6.8 hours of sleep at night poor health; cognitive impairment Four in 10 Americans get less than the recommended amount of nightly sleep Young adults and parents of children under 18 are among the more sleep- deprived groups
TECHNOLOGY Technology = empowering Technology = debilitating ‘…technology was supposed to be liberating, but it ended up being enslaving.’ ~Good Enough is the New Perfect Technology requires limits!
“WORK/LIFE BALANCE” What IS this? What about school? Is it paradise? WHY DO IT!?
IMPACTS ON THE INNOCENT… A.K.A. OUR CHILDREN! Children make 3.5 trips a day on average. Schoolchildren are spending almost 50% more time inside a car on the morning school run today than their parents' generation did. Children now spend an average of 26 hours a year being driven to school (2014).
SOLUTIONS… Really Mean It! Recommit Rediscover Redefine
REDEFINE Work/Life Balance, or rather, “Work/Life Balance” Ongoing Effort Constant Awareness Perfection What is “Perfection?” Working from Home What is this, really? An urban myth? Mirage? Oxymoron?
…WORK-LIFE BALANCE Balance isn’t about having perfect harmony each day. Consider your history when making your choices – but don’t let guilt or other parents’ choices dictate your own. Technology is okay, but like everything, in moderation: Moment (iOS only) Set the example; set limits for kids Don’t obsess over numbers; obsess over quality.
…PERFECTION Perfection is not OSFA There are a lot of “right” ways to be a good parent. “There’s nothing wrong with ‘easy’ – just because something’s hard doesn’t mean it’s more valuable.” The most satisfied mothers are those that (1) create their own definitions of success; (2) delegate; (3) say NO; (4) leave room for imperfection.
…WORKING FROM HOME Be honest. It doesn’t work for every parent, or every job. Set expectations. Set reminders. Be realistic! Be grateful.
REDISCOVER Explore New Things Mixology Dancing Ziplining Painting Revisit Old Hobbies Jogging Writing Yoga Volunteering!
RECOMMIT AND REALLY MEAN IT! The Elusive Family Night Return of Date Night Synch up where you can!
RE-PRIORITIZE!!! Recommit Rediscover Redefine
Jorge – 6 yo Emy – 4 yo Ysa – 8 yo
“I’ve learned to lighten up a bit, and I finally realized I gain more out of doing so. It’s not the end of the world if the kids are not in bed exactly at nine p.m. or if my husband allows them to eat cake for dinner and breakfast. If that is the worst thing that happens, then I’m really lucky.”
…let’s write a letter.
INCLUDE: 1) YOUR new definition of perfection. 2) One thing you will try for the first time AND one activity you will revisit. 3) One new activity you will commit to with your family. Engage.