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Published byKyra Hueston
Modified over 2 years ago
Wisdom according to Geo Carlin
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila,
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Atheism is a
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
The main reason Santa is so jolly
The main reason Santa is so jolly he knows where all the bad girls live.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self—help section?”
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self—help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets are not going as ghosts
but as mattresses?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and his wife isn’t around to hear him...
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and his wife isn’t around to hear him... is he still wrong?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do
Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
One nice thing about egotists:
they don’t talk about other people.
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an Endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued,
can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?
Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell,
is he homeless or naked?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime,
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns
because they taste funny?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
One nice thing about egotists:
they don’t talk about other people.
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If one synchronized swimmer were to drown
do the rest have to drown also?
If you ate pasta and antipasta,
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed,
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp”
to have a “sp” in it?
Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids”
Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”?
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
Modern Europe…Ancient Rome. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
Philosophy Terminology and Background This PPT is on jsnape.com. Click on “Philosophy.”
Points to Ponder Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Come. and down a away big blue can help.
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
The Monkey and the Pig. Once upon a time in Japan, a man had a monkey. People paid to see the monkey dance.
Help me out. who is he even before we go but come again.
Where Did We Go Wrong? Genesis 3:1-24. The entire creative effort by God culminates in the creation of humanity who have been specially engineered.
It was a cold morning, and a lion was sleeping in his cave. He was the ruler of the forest and everyone was afraid of him. Everyday he would have an.
Jesus was tired and thirsty. He sat down by a well and rested while his helpers went into town to buy food. They were all hungry after walking a long way.
She. up had has the my did its puts but make.
wildlife: animals or plants which live or grow in natural conditions wild animal.
Dolch Sight Word List Pre - Primer. a and away.
Frequency Words. a about after again all always.
First Grade Sight Words a in I and is it for.
The. of and a to in is you that it he for.
Gen 3:1 The snake was sneakier than any of the other animals that the LORD God had made. One day it asked the woman "Did God tell you not to eat fruit.
List 1 Sight Words the to and he a I you it.
A. as is a couldn’t does could has wouldn’t.
By Angelo Harmsworth. In the forest there was a sleepy monkey who liked playing in the forest with his friends. He loves staying up late but he always.
The Turtle Story. This is a story about a young turtle who did not like to go to school. His name was Little Turtle. Little Turtle was very upset about.
Sight Words. the and to see it you like me.
Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey. Jesus got angry when people were not using the temple properly.
Can you guess what these idioms mean?
Do You Want to Get Well? Part 18. Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV) 28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke.
By: Ryan.A. Glasser. Mama Mama I'm Mad at MY Llama By: Ryan.A. Glasser.
© Copyright _ Bro’s Place 2003 Billy the Kid was born in New York City, 1859?
1.Why is he late? Please tell me________. Please tell me why he is late. 2. Would you please tell me ? When will you come? Would you please tell me when.
Over. them give every live after old oldest.
What kind of story is it? It’s a fairy tales. When does the story take place? A long time ago./
A. and away big blue can come down find for.
Second Grade Dolch Words egreay. a and away big.
The. to and he a I you it of in was said.
Sight Words Complete Dolch Sight Word List Preprimer through Third.
List 1. the List 1 to List 1 and List 1 he List 1.
m/ 10-Minute Timer © Morgan Madison & Company / MG Rush Performance Learning / 10 Don't sweat.
Teach the Children about Jesus. - Know the story - Decide what the children will learn about Jesus - Tell the story creatively Link the story to Jesus.
The. to and a I you it in said for up look.
Sight Words and are a I can for go have he.
Giant Panda Milu Deer South China tiger antelope.
220 Dolch Words. a because this pull after far.
Dolch 220 Sharks! a is it am to an red up.
BLT # go help look at run.
JESUS FEEDS 5000 PEOPLE Bible for Children presents.
Click on the wolf to begin the wolf’s side of the story. Click on the pig to begin the pigs’ side of the story.
1 st 100 sight words a About after again All.
What is a pronoun? List five pronouns.. Pronouns A pronoun takes the place of a noun.
I. am no the see you me to and at yes it.
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