5 Guiding Principles Master the Courage to Interrogate Reality Come out from Behind Yourself Into the Conversation and Make it RealBe here…prepared to be nowhere elseTackle Your Toughest Challenge TodayObey Your InstinctsTake Responsibility for Your Emotional WakeLet Silence do the Heavy LiftingSeven principles from book
6 Conversation=Relationship=Leadership Conversations are our leadership.Choices:Interrogate reality or pretend not to know what we knowConfront performance issues or avoid the risky discomfort of putting our vision out thereWe effect change and help people grow by engaging in robust conversations with ourselves and othersDifficult and vitally importantIt’s not easy. People find it difficult. It IS a choice.Some people choose not to do it. Have you ever known anyone who fit that description? What kind of leader do you think that would make them? (Michael Scott?)If the conversation stagnates or never gets into the real issues, little to no real leadership is taking place. If we lower the standard of how often or what we talk about the conversation diminishes or disappears. So goes the leadership. Keep it real.Jack Welsh, former CEO of GE talks about candor and states that the biggest dirty little secret in an organization is a lack of candor. He says it blocks progress, inhibits fast action, smart ideas, and good people contributing all they have got.I would pose that these fierce conversations are difficult and people do avoid them. Why?(not to prevent someone else’s pain, but to avoid our own discomfort and risk unpopularity. Self-interested.)As a leader, you get what you tolerate.
7 Purpose of the Conversation People need to know what their leader expects of themProvoke learningEnrich relationshipsSuccessWhile it may be the real conversation that we are afraid of, it is the unreal conversation that should scare us to death.People need to know what their leader expects of them… they can have that need met through the conversations their leader has with them or their leader can leave them to fill that void on their own.People have a need to understand their job and the expectations of them. It should not be guess work. If there is such a void in their perceptions it will get filled. Where will it get filled? With what will it get filled?Stronger relationships. Subsequent conversations are easier.Sharper focus on success.
8 The Anatomy of the Conversation Three phases: Opening statement: Homework – Practice – 60 Seconds 1. Name the issue “I’d like to talk with you about time on task for students in your classroom.” 2. Select an illustrative example “I’ve noticed during a some recent visits to your classroom that students do not seem to know what to do when they enter your classroom or finish a task early.” 3. Describe your emotions “I’m concerned that there is a significant amount of time lost which could be used for instruction.”Three phases:You should prepare your thoughts, practice. Delivery should be about 60 seconds.Most people want to hear the truth even if it is unpalatable.
9 The Anatomy of the Conversation Three phases continued: 4. Clarify what is at stake “You have a high needs student population whose performance on common assessments and Terra Nova has not been good Soon they will be taking the MEAP.” 5. Identify your contribution to the problem “I’ve contributed to this problem by not saying something sooner. For that, I apologize.” 6. Indicate your desire to resolve the issue “I want to maximize time-on-task for all of your students.” 7. Invite your partner to respond “I need to understand your thinking about transitions.”Remember that the conversation is the relationship which is your leadershipImproving employee performance……one conversation at a time.
10 The Anatomy of the Conversation Three phases: Interaction: The bulk of the conversation happens here 8. Inquire into your partner’s view Ask questions and dig for understanding. Resolution 9. What have we learned? “How can we move forward form here given our new reality or our new understanding? 10. Make an agreement Determine how you will hold one another accountable to keep it.This is the interactive dialogue phase-seek to understand, not a debate, not an argument.and resolution phase:-how can we move forward from here? An agreement about what happens next.If you know something must change… know that it is you who must change it.