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Do You Know Someone Who Has Experienced Abuse? If it was happening right now, are you sure you would know? Would they be too ashamed to speak about.

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Presentation on theme: "Do You Know Someone Who Has Experienced Abuse? If it was happening right now, are you sure you would know? Would they be too ashamed to speak about."— Presentation transcript:

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3 Do You Know Someone Who Has Experienced Abuse? If it was happening right now, are you sure you would know? Would they be too ashamed to speak about it? Would they hide it from you? Would they stop taking your calls? Stop attending social events? Would they give you strange explanations for their erratic behavior? Would they stop looking you in the eye when you talked? Would you be afraid to ask what was really going on? Domestic abuse is hidden and dangerous. Take the time to learn more about it. Knowing what to do could help you save a life.

4 Domestic abuse is a pattern of intimidating and coercive behavior that includes the use or threat of violence and other menacing actions for the purpose of gaining power and control over another person. Domestic Abuse: Definition

5 One in every four women and nearly one in seven men in the U.S. have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime. 1 An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. 2 The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $5.8 billion each year, $4.1 billion of which is for direct medical and mental health services. 3 Victims of intimate partner violence lost almost 8 million days of paid work because of the violence perpetrated against them. This loss is the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs. 3 Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States; more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. 4 Domestic Abuse in the U.S.

6 Locally Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police. 5 Even so, more than 12,000 DV arrests were made in Pima County in At least 17 people died in Pima County from domestic abuse in Intimate Partner Violence in the United States, 2010, a publication of the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 2. Costs of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women in the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Centers for Injury Prevention and Control. Atlanta, GA. 3. Costs of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women in the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Centers for Injury Prevention and Control. Atlanta, GA. 4. "Violence Against Women, A Majority Staff Report," Committee on the Judiciary, United States Senate, 102nd Congress, October 1992, p Frieze, I.H., Browne, A. (1989) Violence in Marriage. In L.E. Ohlin & M. H. Tonry (eds.) Family Violence. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press. 6. AZ Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence

7 Children & Domestic Abuse 1. Break the Cycle. (2006). Startling Statistics. 2. Strauss, Gelles, and Smith, “Physical Violence in American Families: Risk Factors and Adaptations to Violence” in 8,145 Families. Transaction Publishers (1990). 3. Edelson, J.L. (1999). “The Overlap Between Child Maltreatment and Woman Battering.” Violence Against Women. 5: Witnessing violence between one’s parents or caretakers is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next. 1 Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults. 2 30% to 60% of perpetrators of intimate partner violence also abuse children in the household. 3

8 Power & Control Power & Control Psychological abuse Minimizing/ denying Intimidation Coercion/ Threats Entitlement Economic abuse Using Children Isolation

9 Tactics an Abuser May Use Isolation Denying Access to Money Physical Abuse Abusing Children Using Weapons Unwanted Touching Ruining Your Credit Blaming Sexual Abuse Criticizing Coercion Name Calling Denying Behavior Biting Shifting Blame Hitting Threats Forced Sex Psychological Abuse Hair Pulling Intimidation Choking Infidelity Critical Remarks Treating You As Inferior Threatening or Cruelty to Pets Monitoring Your Calls or Whereabouts Minimizing

10 Controlling behaviors: Telling partner how to style hair, what to wear, or always deciding where to go/what to do on dates; accompanying partner to appointments; getting inappropriately angry if partner is late or unavailable. Cruelty to animals: Punishing animals harshly and being insensitive to their suffering. Cruelty to children: Having unrealistic expectations of children’s capabilities; bullying or teasing children until they cry. Disrespect: Speaking disrespectfully to partner; being rude to waiters and waitresses; expressing racist or sexist attitudes; being outwardly disrespectful to others of different social background, religion, race, or people with disabilities. Double-standards: Having a different set of rules and expectations for partner and self. Continues on next slide Some of the Warning Signs

11 History of violent behavior: Having a history of violence in past relationships is predictive of violence in future relationships. Many, but not all abusers were victims of domestic abuse in their families while growing up. Isolation: Monopolizing partner’s time; sabotaging partner’s relationships with family and friends; calling or texting frequently to check up on partner. Impulsivity and mood swings: Not thinking through the consequences of actions; having explosive mood swings ie. “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde;” ranting and raving over minor things. Jealousy: Demonstrating excessive possessiveness; expressing ownership of partner; dropping by unexpectedly; having friends “keep an eye” on partner; accusing partner of flirting with others; making excuses for jealous behavior by saying it is out of love. Continues on next slide Warning Signs

12 Minimization and blaming: Avoiding taking responsibility for actions; blaming others for problems and feelings; denying or minimizing past history of abuse or violence. Quick involvement: Pushing a partner to commit to a serious relationship very quickly; wanting partner to move in, get married, or have children in a short period of time or before they are ready. Threats of violence: “I’ll kill myself if you leave me” or “I’ll kill you if you leave me,” and/or dismissing threats with comments like, “I was just joking,” or “I really didn’t mean it.” Unrealistic expectations: Expecting partner to be perfect and meet all of their needs; expecting partner to conform to rigid gender roles; demanding that their needs come before partner’s needs. Use of force or coercion during sex: Guilt-tripping partner into having sex; showing little concern over whether partner wants or does not want sex. Warning Signs

13 Love Hope the relationship will get better Fear Financial dependence Guilt/Feelings of obligation Feeling responsible for what is happening Barriers to Leaving an Abusive Relationship Self-esteem Cultural/Religious values Children Isolation/Lack of support Emotional dependence Immigration status

14 Our response to domestic abuse as a society is slowly changing, and we need your help to keep up the momentum. Be a loud public voice that let’s your family, friends, co- workers and social groups know that you do not condone abusive behavior against anyone When others make uneducated comments about abuse or those who are being abused, coach them about the barriers to leaving abuse, and how dangerous it really is—they probably don’t realize how their negative comments might impact others Know how to reach out if someone you know is being abused, how you respond could be the very thing that inspires them to find help Pass this presentation on, you may never need to use this information—but someone you know definitely will need it at some point Take an Active Role

15 Your response to what they tell you may determine whether they seek the help they need. Speak somewhere private Be concerned for their safety and say so If they deny abuse – express concern and state your availability to talk in the future If they disclose abuse – believe them and say so Tell them it’s not their fault Respect their choices – they are the expert in what is and is not safe for them Don’t confront the abuser – this will put both you and the victim in additional danger Give them hope that there is help Know the Signs & Respond

16 Do You or Does Someone You Know Need Help? Don’t Go It Alone! The hotline is for everyone, from people in abusive relationships to friends, loved ones, or even employers who need more information and support. 24-Hour Bilingual Hotline Local: Toll-free:

17 Emerge!’s role is not to take control of the situation. Our objective is to have the participant regain their sense of control and find their own path to a safer life. We are a 501(c)(3) non-profit agency. We rely on government funding and private donations from people like you. About Emerge! Center Against Domestic Abuse About Emerge! Center Against Domestic Abuse

18 24-Hour Bilingual Hotline Local: Toll Free: Emergency Shelter Facility Confidential location Staffed 24-hours Emerge! Emergency Services

19 One-on-one Support: Crisis Counseling Safety Planning Information & Referral Support Groups—Day & Evening Domestic Abuse & Life Skills Education Lay Legal Services: Orders of Protection Court Accompaniment Victim’s Rights Information Lawyer Referrals & General Information VAWA/U-Visa Support/Referrals Related to Divorce & Child Custody Information About Legal Rights Related to Breaking Leases Due to Domestic Violence Comprehensive Services Child & Family Services: Individual & Group Sessions for Children Sessions that Help Children form Trusting Bonds with their Non- abusing Parent & Siblings Age-appropriate interventions & education Family Sessions & Groups Family Support Expressive Art & Writing Pet Therapy Help Setting Up Abuse-Free Homes: Transitional & Permanent Housing

20 Safety plans are intended to help increase safety and decrease risk. They are the first step toward a new life. The professionals at the Emerge! hotline are able to assist in developing safety plans for each individual’s unique situation. If the abused person chooses not to call Emerge!, family or friends can call to find out the best way to help based on the specifics of that person’s circumstances. Safety Planning

21 Get Involved You Can Make a Difference with this Issue! Volunteer Raise Awareness Donate Learn more at: or call www.emergecenter.org

22 24-Hour Bilingual Crisis Line: Local: Toll-free:


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