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YOU LOVE YOUR FAMILY - BUT SOMETIMES IT’S HARD TO WORK WITH THEM! Copyright: www.valerieredman.com.

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Presentation on theme: "YOU LOVE YOUR FAMILY - BUT SOMETIMES IT’S HARD TO WORK WITH THEM! Copyright: www.valerieredman.com."— Presentation transcript:

1 YOU LOVE YOUR FAMILY - BUT SOMETIMES IT’S HARD TO WORK WITH THEM! Copyright:

2 Ownership BusinessFamily From Davis and Taguiri FBFB FOFOBOBO FBOFBO Family Business: the Three Circle Model FBO – family members who work in the business and own shares in it FB – family members who work in the business, but don’t own a share in it FO – family members who own shares in the business, but don’t work in it BO – non-family employees who own shares in the business

3 Copyright: please “copy it right” and add to my webpage and let me know that you have used it 1. We’ve never done it that way 2. It won’t work here 3. We’ve tried it before 4. There isn’t enough money 5. I won’t be allowed to do that 6. Too expensive 7. We’re not ready for it yet 8. Good idea, in practice it’s different 9. I’m a great ideas person but…. 10. I’m not capable of doing the job 11. Too complicated, no-one understands 12. My family won’t allow it 13. No-one else is doing this 14. Too much research needed 15. My ideas are always too early 16. Someone else is doing it Sayings Valerie has heard and collected in Family Businesses 17.It’s not clear enough 18.I’m sure there are better ways than that 19.The husband won’t like it 20.The wife won’t like it 21.The parents won’t like it 22.The family won’t like it 23.The competition won’t like it 24.It goes against the rules 25.It’s against my religion 26.We haven’t considered it sufficiently 27. If it was that good someone would already be doing it 28. Let’s not step on their toes 29. Outside the box 30. Outdated 31. I haven’t time to look into it now 32. You don’t understand the full picture 33. Why start anything now 34. We’re too old for that 35. You’re too young 36. It won’t be used 37. We have too much on now 38. We need to think this through carefully 39. Has anyone else tried it? 40. I can’t see how it could work 41. If it’s not broken don’t fix it 42. We just don’t do that sort of thing 43. What idiot thought that up? 44. I just know it won’t work 45. We must be practical 46. It needs more study 47. I’ll think it over for a bit 48. It’s not really my problem 49. We don’t really need to do it now 50. I’ll shelve it for the time being

4 I can’t accept the way you did this job. If you actually did what you said……. You fail to see what I mean You misinterpreted my intention You neglected to get the information I asked you to get You were wrong in thinking that You did do this right…..but Copyright: please “copy it right” and add to my webpage and let me know that you have used it

5 ANGER EXPLOSIONS – letting off steam – but hurting others OVERWORKING – risks your wellbeing, family and others OVER-CONTROLLING – rigid mastery over things and people DOMINATING OTHERS – especially family members in the workplace TAKING ON OTHERS’ BURDENS – leads to being a martyr and making others dependant MAKING MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHILLS - Creates unnecessary distress to you and others DEFENSIVENESS – lash-out reactions (stems from feeling insecure) FOOLISH RISK TAKING – push things beyond reasonable limits, risk – threaten life, limb, business and/or finance AGGRESSION – abuse of others verbal, mental or physical ANGER-PASSION – comes out indirectly and often dishonestly through putdowns and sabotage Copyright: please “copy it right” and add to my webpage and let me know that you have used it

6 Self Actualisation Self Fulfilment Being all that you can be Fully creating your potential Self Esteem Self-respect Achieve success Be recognised Belonging & Social Needs Friends and Family “Connected” self and others Loved and Loving Accepted Safety Needs Safe, secure environment No threats No harm Basic Needs Food Air Water Shelter......Sex Copyright: please “copy it right” and add to my webpage and let me know that you have used it

7 Copyright:

8 Condescending Aloof Secretive Evasive Eager Relentless Annoying Caring Approachable Sharing Engaged Eased Relaxed Appealing Copyright: please “copy it right” and add to my webpage and let me know that you have used it

9 Discomfort Incident Misunderstanding Tension CRISIS X X X X Copyright: please “copy it right” and add to my webpage and let me know that you have used it

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11 PastFuture Stuck Build on - challenging experiences Project - what you would like to happen! Copyright: please “copy it right” and add to my webpage and let me know that you have used it Here and now “in” the present

12 Stop talking, storm off, get depressed, cold shoulder, business level only Withdrawal / Punish Bottle up feelings, berate self for being upset, scheme for later Suppression / Keeping the Peace Prove them wrong, shout, threaten, lay down law, outsmart, get allies Win / Lose What’s fair, keep friendship, give in a bit, avoid being dictatorial Compromise Everyone’s needs recognised Best solution for all Win / Win Copyright: please “copy it right” and add to my webpage and let me know that you have used it

13 DON’T Be overwhelmed Rescue Get into a power struggle RetaliateNag to criticise DO ListenUse “I” messagesBe tolerant Reward behaviour you want Stick to the issue Copyright: please “copy it right” and add to my webpage and let me know that you have used it

14 . Ask a Question Use humour Ask them to positively rephrase Reframe hostile remarks Fly the white flag Change tack Let some hostile remarks pass “Please tell me what you heard me say” Can it be dealt with privately? Speak calmly Agree to discuss later Call time- out Restate what you believe you heard and check Breathe and stay with the issue Easy ways Valerie finds useful

15 YOU LOVE YOUR FAMILY - BUT SOMETIMES IT’S HARD TO WORK WITH THEM! Copyright:


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