Presentation on theme: "Grammar: Run-on Fragment Verb Error Pronoun Error Syntax Error (two sentences run together—add a period) (an incomplete sentence—add a subject or verb)"— Presentation transcript:
Grammar: Run-on Fragment Verb Error Pronoun Error Syntax Error (two sentences run together—add a period) (an incomplete sentence—add a subject or verb) (incorrect conjugation or tense—add “s” or “ed”) (incorrect pronoun: it, you, this, he, etc.) (confusing or incoherent word order and/or word choice)
Music plays an important role in my life. For one thing, she relaxes every part of my body. For example, before any big test, music helps me think more thoroughly. One day, when I couldn’t sleep. It made me imagine things from the good old days. Driving by myself from school makes me feel lonely, but now I feel secure. In addition, music also makes time go by fast. For example, doing household chores make it more fun. I can dance around while mopping and dusting. Also, while doing my homework, it makes it more interesting. It gets my mind and body motivated. For the last couple of years, helping tutor my sister was a drag, now I’m always up and ready to go. I push her into doing her homework fast because it connects with the beat that I listen to. Most importantly, music excitement inside brings of me. When I’m around friends and family at home, sitting, having good lunch, it’s good to know R F V P S
One time that my friend became passionate and motivates about learning was when she enjoyed photo journalism class. She took the class at Glendale College Community college and the class was so fascinated that she loves the class. Her excitement of learning make her realizes how much she could learn from just a class and how a class could teach her so many things in life. In the shorts stories, Prison Studies by Malcolm X, Take this Fish and Look at It by Samuel Scudder and How to mark a Book by Mortimer Adler, the authors show how someone can be passionate and motivates, when someone is adequately encourage toward a condition of learning in life. Three key factors that motivate Malcolm X to become passionate about learning are the feeling to be confident, knowledge, and protection for his people. To begin with, Malcolm X feels confident about learning. For example, he says that “...immensely proud to realize that not only had I written so much at one time, but I’d written words that I never knew were in the world.”(2) Malcolm X had discovered a whole new world of understanding. Vocabulary that was very significant in his life because it change his life forever. He felt like a new world was opening to him with the words that he learned. Second, Freedom of understanding is the second thing that motivates him. For instance, he says, “ I never had been so truly free in my life.”(3) Even though he was imprison he felt free because now he understands many things that he did not understand before. Now he can go to places that make him free by realizing how much he learn from knowing how to read. Finally, the protection of race is the third thing that motivates him to learn. For example, he says, “... in which I’m not studying something I feel that I might be able to help the black man.”(3) Malcolm X feels that he can protect his people by studying and lead his people out of bondage. All the knowledge that he has will be able to overcome and be an example for his people. He strongly feels that studying will open him many doors and motivates his people to go beyond their knowledge. Three key factors that motivate Scudder to become passionate about learning are professor’s behavior, his own initiative, and the internalization of the lesson. In the first place, professor’s behavior motivates him to learn. The professor is a person who is very energetic who is very determined with his student. He tries to look beyond what he can see. His has faith in his students to look beyond and never be content with facts. In addition, his own initiative motivates him to learn. He says, “At last a happy thought struck me- I would draw the fish; and now with surprise I began to discovered new features in the creature.” When he realize that there he needs to do something and look beyond what he can see he comprehend what the teacher says to him. The tracing of the fish make him look what he could not see before. Last, the internalization of the lesson motivates him to learn. He says, “Agassiz’s training in the method of observing facts and their orderly arrangement was ever accompanied by the urgent exhortation not to be content with them.”(10) The lesson that he learns was something that he kept in his life. This lesson makes him realize that he has to be confident and secure about himself and look beyond what he can see. Several key factors that motivate Adler to be passionate about learning are the love of the subjects, determination to look deeper and difficulty challenge. First of all, love for subject matter motivates him to learn. For example, he says, “… marking up a book … an act if mutilation but of love.”(14) When Adler marks the book he feels that he is putting his full potential to the book. A book great book can give a great message and feel passionate about the book. Next, the determination to look deeper motivates him to learn. For instance, he says “arguing that book, too, must be absorbed in your bloodstream to do you any good.”(14) Sometimes we feel that a book must be absorbed to teach us in life and learn from what we read. We need to look deeper and put it in practice of what we gain knowledge from a book. Last, difficulty of the challenge motivates him to learn. One example that he says, “the learner has to question himself and question the teacher.”(16) When we question something is that we are making a challenge to ourselves and we are motivates to learn more. This will bring us interest to find out and seek the truth. In conclusion, Malcolm X, Scudder, and Adler are similar in their passion for learning because they all a feeling of transformation. For example, Malcolm X felt that his life was transformed when he realize the new words that he had learn. These words that Malcolm X learns change his path toward life. Likewise, Scudder he felt that his life change when he realize that his professor told him to look deeper and not to be satisfied with facts. Formatting: 5 paragraphs indent each paragraph double space
Correct Citation of Evidence Lead-in phrase (Adler says…) Parenthetical citation (author’s last name, page number) the poverty in the small southern Sudanese town of Nzara. Both the cotton factory and the hospital have unsanitary conditions, with rats and bats living in close proximity to factory workers and hospital personal using contaminated needles Some of the dying stripped off their clothes and ran out of the hospital, naked and bleeding, and wandered through the streets of the town, seeking their homes, not seeming to know what had happened or how they had gotten into this condition Preston describes (20-21). “ ” (Preston 21).
Comment Codes: E 2 Weak or inappropriate evidence. The evidence you have selected here does not fit the idea you are trying to prove, or the evidence is too weak. Find better evidence to support your key point. E 5 Incorrect citation of evidence. If your evidence is a summary, be sure it has a lead-in phrase. If your evidence is a quotation, be sure that you have quotation marks and that you have quoted precisely. Be sure that the evidence has a parenthetical citation at the end. I 2 Weak or unclear interpretation. Your interpretation simply repeats the idea(s) in the evidence or your point is not clear. You need to take more time here to develop meaningful commentary on the evidence… I 3 Unconnected interpretation. Your interpretation is not clearly connected to the key point or the evidence here. Look at your key point and identify the idea you are trying to support. Look at the evidence and make sure you are commenting on details that support your key point. Remember…