Presentation on theme: "Sex and Marriage in Islam 1 Serkan Ozturk Dialog Student Association University of Oklahoma."— Presentation transcript:
Sex and Marriage in Islam 1 Serkan Ozturk Dialog Student Association University of Oklahoma
Marriage Islam considers marriage as one of the most virtuous and approved institutions, unlike “celibacy”
Purpose of Marriage Children Pleasure [fulfilling human’s sexual need] In worship aspect, marriage is an act pleasing to Allah because it is in accordance with his commandments that husband and wife love each other and help each other to make efforts to continue the human race and rear and nurse their children to become true servants of Allah
Marriage in Quran “He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts, and this is among His signs. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect (30:21) ”Allah has made for you your mates of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best” (16:72) “And for women are rights over men similar to those of men over women”(2:228)
Prophetic Teaching “Women are the twin halves of men.” “When a man marries, he has completed one half of his religion.” “The best of you are they who behave best to their wives.” “The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is.” O young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty.”
Prophetic Teaching Modesty was regarded as a great virtue by the Prophet. He said, "Modesty is part of faith.” "Marriage is my sunnah. Whosoever keeps away from it is not from me.” "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.” "Whoever has the ability should marry for it is better in lowering the gaze and guarding one's chastity. Whoever is not able, let him fast for it is for him a restraint."
Importance of Motherhood Islam teaches Muslims to respect their mothers and serve them well. Abu Hurairah reported a man came to the Prophet (pbuh) and asked: “O Messenger of Allah, who is the person who has the greatest right on me with regards to kindness and attention?” He replied, “Your mother.” “Then who?” He replied, “Your mother.” “Then who?” “Your mother.” “Then who?” He replied, “Your father.” 7
Obligatory of Marriage Marriage as obligatory for a man (Hanafi): If he is sure that he will commit fornication if he does not marry. If he cannot fast to control his passions or even if he can fast, his fast does not help him to control his passion If he is able to pay the dowry and to earn a lawful livelihood.
Forbidden (Haram) Marriage Marriage is forbidden to a man, if he does not possess the means to maintain his wife and children if he suffers from an illness, serious enough to affect his wife and progeny. It is not desirable for a man who possesses no sexual desire at all or who has no love for children or who is sure to be slackened in his religious obligations as a result of marriage.
Forbidden Marriage with those Prohibited to you [for marriage] are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father's sisters, your mother's sisters, your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters, your [milk] mothers who nursed you, your sisters through nursing, your wives' mothers, and your step-daughters under your guardianship [born] of your wives unto whom you have gone in. And [also prohibited are] the wives of your sons who are from your [own] loins, and that you take [in marriage] two sisters simultaneously, except for what has already occurred. Indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful. (4:23)
Marriage with other religions A Muslim girl cannot marry with a man from any other religion A Muslim boy can marry with Christian girl Jewish girl (Only marry with the [People of the Book] book is given religions)
Marriage types Love marriage Arranged marriage In both marriage, she has liberty to choose her husband
Love Marriage A girl and boy love each other and propose the marriage Ask permission for the families
Arranged marriage Parents suggest a candidate bride for their son If he likes, then they go to bride side to propose marriage
Benefits of Marriage "Anything you spend on your family will be a source of reward [from Allah], even a morsel of food which you raise to your wife's mouth.” "A dinar you spent in Allah's path, a dinar you spent in freeing a slave, a dinar which you gave in charity to a needy person and a dinar which you spent on your family. The greatest of them in reward is the one you spent on your family."
Sex Any non-marriage sex is forbidden Male-to-male or female-to-female sex is banned Anal sex is forbidden Oral sex is depended on person, but husband cannot enforce the wife.
Responsibility of wife A wife has to sexually fulfill/satisfy the husband No other responsibility, such as home, kids, work,.. But she must listen and obey the husband, For example, she cannot go out or work without permission of husband
Responsibility of husband Maintenance: Has to provide living expenses such as food, clothes, home and personal wife expenses [for example, he has emotional and educational responsibilities towards his wife and children] Must please his wife and behaves justly If a person has more than one wife, he will have to treat each one equally. Need to provide education if necessary
Consideration Choosing a wife "Women are married for four: her wealth, her family, her beauty and her religion. So chose the one with religion, you will be happy. “ Her religion. If she does not have good Islam, she will corrupt [negatively influences] her husband. Character. Bad character is harmful to the individual and those around them. Beauty. Virginity. Fertility.
Divorce is allowed in Islam but not encourage nor to be taken lightly is the sole prerogative of the man. If a woman desires to end the marriage but the man is unwilling to do so, she must resort to Islamic law before the imam. A man should not surprise his wife with a divorce without any misdeed on her part. It is not allowed for the woman to force her husband to divorce without any misdeed or corruption on his part.
Divorce "Any woman who asks her husband for divorce without any wrongdoing, forbidden to her is even the scent of Paradise.” If he must divorce, he must adhere to the following: He must divorce her after her period is complete and before they have been together. He should pronounce divorce three times: But suggested to say only one divorce that he may regret to say it and he can easily reverse his decision Do not disclose any of her secrets to anyone else.