Presentation on theme: "Negotiation Skills for Women"— Presentation transcript:
1Negotiation Skills for Women Knowing what you want and how to go get it!
2Everyday you negotiate! Even if you don’t think about it that way – you still negotiate throughout your dayNo one is born a skilled negotiator – it takes practiceRemember:Everything is negotiableFemale vs Male negotiation styles do differThere are resources to help you learn to negotiate confidentlyYou can overcome the common mistakes made in negotiating
3Why don’t we negotiate? We don’t want to offend We want/need to be friends with everyoneIt upsets the balanceHard to separate personal vs businessWe don’t want to disagreeConcerned what others thinkQuestion our own value; Am I worth it?
4Everything is negotiable Almost everything is life is negotiable if you see it that wayOpportunities to negotiate exist in almost every interactionYou’re probably better at it than you think!Can I have an ice cream mum?Let’s go to the coast for ChristmasI’d rather you had an appleI take it you mean the Gold Coast?
5Female vs Male Negotiation Styles Do any of these sound familiar?Not asking for what you want for fear of damaging a relationshipBeing hesitant about saying no because you’d like to keep everyone happyHaving much greater success at negotiating for someone else than your selfGetting flustered and emotional if a negotiation gets heatedThinking the louder, tougher or smarter you are the better your chance at negotiation success
6Men & Women have different negotiation styles Women value relationships over outcomeMen leverage relationships to achieve goalsWomen make decisions based on what they feel they need rather than what they are worthMen are more likely to ask for what they wantWomen are more likely to wait to be recognisedMen talk for longer and interrupt more often!Men use more direct languageMen tend to display more confidence thanwomen in performance oriented settingsWomen tend to set more modest goals
7Handy female instincts Negotiation is about relationships….and girls are good at relationships!Perception is a stronger natural instinct in females than malesPicking up non-verbal signals (body language)For the first 2 years or so females need to communicate with children who cannot use languageNegotiation is ultimately an exercise in two-way communicationNeeds exist on both sides of the tablePerspectives, ideas and feelings differShared understanding = mutual solutions
8When is it worth it?While everything might be negotiable, you don’t want to negotiate about everythingThe key….. YOU decide what’s worth negotiatingIdentify & clarify your personal & professional goalsIf you’re heart’s not in it, you’re less likely to be successful
9Dissection of a negotiation Negotiation is based on how important something is to two parties: yourself and the other negotiatorResearch is a critical yet hidden componentTwo-way communication processDemands & concessions (give and take)Precedents: what went beforeExperience: how often you’ve done thisPersonality traits and confidenceOther parties: mediators, third-partiesOutcomes: immediate and/or ongoing
1110 steps before the conversation WHATCONTENTStep 1Ascertain the scope of the exchangeStep 2Determine the negotiation objectivesStep 3Examine suppositions of both partiesStep 4Collect relevant dataStep 5Identify issues, sticking points and trade-offsStep 6Calculate preliminary bargaining position & ground rulesPROCESSStep 7Reveal other side’s needs & examine your ownStep 8Produce your overall bargaining strategyStep 9Determine possible negotiating options: BATNA (see next)Step 10Enter into negotiations
12What is BATNA? Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement Draft in advanceThink like the other party – what’s most important to them, where are they most likely to compromiseEqually – what’s more important to you, where would you be willing to compromise to give the other party a ‘win’
13Before the conversation 60% of the negotiation occurs before the conversation starts!The best negotiators do their pre-work meticulously
14Preparation builds confidence Identify what it is you actually wantPrepare your arguments in advance based on objective researchBring your notes in with you or send an agenda outlining your key points in advanceIn a business setting, try to tie your desired outcomes with the objectives of the team or companyNot “ you say as a company that you respect work/life balance so give me a four day week”What would you say instead?
15Think collaboration – Not confrontation Mutual goals or win-win Understand not just your needs but those of the other sideHave pre-prepared your give and takeWhat is a nice to have that you are prepared to compromise on if needed?Getting fired up and emotional can lead to an adverse outcomeChallenges are predictable: anticipate how the other person/party is likely to react and think about specific ways to respond
16Be Yourself! Common mistakes: Adopting a negotiation style that does not reflect who you are (one you are not comfortable with)People see through you if you’re trying to be something you are not (you will look weak)You can be quiet and calm but still be strongYou can disagree politely (no need for aggression)
17Engaging & gaining buy-in The best negotiations are exercises in two-way conversationsActive listening, asking questions, reinforcing your desire for a mutually beneficial outcomeMaking sure the other party is being heard is a sign of respectShow appreciation for differences in perspective“let me clarify that I understand where you are coming from”
18Avoiding clichés & disclaimers Don’t use jargon and clichésTable thumping and aggression rarely work and are just embarrassing“I think…”, “I feel…” are less forceful terms than “It’s clear that…” or “The market shows us that….”
19Stay focused & on target Keep to the point – don’t deviateAsk for more time to consider if you need toYou usually don’t have to make a decision to accept an offer immediatelyOne conversation might not culminate in the final decisionRemember - negotiation is a process
20Seek a mentorLearn from someone who displays outstanding negotiation skillsUse this as an opportunity to practiceRole play your negotiations prior to conducting themAsk your mentor for objective feedbackA little pep talk can do wonders for your confidence!
21Common mistakes Not being willing to say no No is the most powerful word in negotiating!Successful negotiators know when & how to say noPrepare properly, know your options, be flexible and be realisticRemember that saying no isn’t personalYou must be able to disagree rather than give in to something that is contrary to your interests but you can be flexible in how to satisfy your interestsNot negotiating well when it’s for yourselfNegotiate for yourself as if you were negotiating for someone else (your colleagues, your kids, your family)
22Ask for It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want (Linda Babcock & Sara Laschever)