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Wordy Frames 1 Version 1.0 This is one of a series of units available here to help you write sentences well. Please view this unit as a slide show.here.

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Presentation on theme: "Wordy Frames 1 Version 1.0 This is one of a series of units available here to help you write sentences well. Please view this unit as a slide show.here."— Presentation transcript:

1 Wordy Frames 1 Version 1.0 This is one of a series of units available here to help you write sentences well. Please view this unit as a slide show.here This unit includes about 135 slides. Each slide includes three columns. The left column presents editing cues and problematic text. The middle column repeats the text and permits editing. The right column presents model answers and commentary. Examine these three columns now: Press the down arrow to reveal your editing tools. If you are viewing this slide in a slide show, then please press the right arrow on your keyboard and reveal the model column. Way to go! Problem Column Editing Column Model Column Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

2 For editing you can use: the cursor to mark text; the mouse and the keyboard’s arrows to move the cursor; and the four shortcut keys below: Short Cut Function ctrl-ccopy marked text ctrl-xcut marked text ctrl-vpaste marked text To remember the short cut for paste, think of the “v” as the first letter in “Velcro.” Press the down arrow to cut some words. Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

3 In the editing column, use your tools to cut the needless words. Problem Column Editing Column Model Column Contrary to previous reports... # 181 Compare your revision with the model. Is your revision as concise? Do both revisions have about the same meaning as the original (in the problem column)? Press the down arrow to learn more about revising. Press the right arrow to reveal the model revision. Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

4 In the model columns, I’ve provided “professional” revisions, but there is no absolutely right revision for revisions vary across editors. Indeed, one editor may revise many times, over many days. Moreover there is the issue of context. In this unit you usually will be editing text without much context such as a next sentence or the paragraph in which the text could appear. So what should you do? Given the cue, such as wordy, revise as best you can. If you can think of several revisions then enter them. Crafting multiple revisions now sans context, will help you edit later with context. Here you will be asked to edit for a reader with considerable editing experience. As you revise more and more text, your style will become increasingly like that of an experienced editor. In the process, you will be acquiring a basic skill that will help you edit when text appears in context! Press the down arrow for a request for your help. Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

5 You will be using the “first edition” of this unit. So it is very possible that your revisions are better than mine. If so, could you forward them to me here?here Please include the version number of this unit (see the top of Slide 1) and the number of the slide as it appears in the model revision column, for example, “# 102.” If your revision is helpful, then with your consent I will use your revision and add your name to the list of contributors here.here Press the down arrow for advice about skill learning. Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

6 Four Factors that Promote Skill Learning Location instructions or advicesee web page that corresponds to this unit examples see above practicerevising the many texts in this unit constructive feedbackcomparing your revisions with the model revisions Practice is vital. It is best to study for 20 minutes daily and carefully work through the slides, typing revisions, comparing, etc. After each session, store this unit on your computer. Then retrieve the unit the next day as needed to finish the unit. Factors that promote skill learning and their location in these instructional materials are listed in the table below. Please review the table. Press the down arrow for advice about the “next step.” Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

7 When you have finished a unit, the best next step is not to move on to a new unit but to review your revisions. If you have been storing this unit then you have been storing your revisions. So review them! This is what experienced researchers do; sometimes they revise more than ten times. In this regard, consider Lee J. Cronbach’s comments in his "Four Psychological Bulletin Articles in Perspective,” (Psychological Bulletin, 1992, 112, ):Lee J. Cronbach’s In the days before word processors, I found 10 retypings of a manuscript none too many, and that implies many rereadings by me. Pages going back to my typist often carried scribbles in five colors, each new color representing an additional reading. Always, one sees floating pronouns to anchor, sentences to clarify or vivify, paragraphs to move, digressions to delete... I advise the inexperienced writer to leave a near-final draft in a drawer for a few weeks and, returning to it fresh, to read it aloud. Try to listen through the ears of a graduate student new to the paper, indeed, new to the topic. Press the down arrow to reveal another tool. Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

8 As you work through this unit, you will be encountering the slides in a fixed order. So, when you finish this unit and seek to review your work, it may be desirable to present the slides in a new order. Reordering is possible with a module written in Visual Basic for Applications. Below, is an image of the window you must access to run the module.Visual Basic for Applications Press the down arrow to learn about accessing the macro window Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

9 You can access the macro window when not in slide show mode. So, stop the slide show and press Alt-F8. When the window appears, press the run button. An hour-glass icon will appear on your screen. Randomizing the slides may require 50 seconds patiently wait for the icon’s removal. Of course, you must then restart the slide show to begin practicing. Just advance to the slide with the green bar below. There you have it. Practice and learn! --MLD Go for it! Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

10 The participant could not respond. # 24 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

11 Though participants are of the same age, they need not have identical verbal skills. Though participants are of the same age, their verbal skills may differ. # 61 # Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

12 The walls were white. # 182 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

13 A central role of the hippocampus is to consolidate conscious forms of learning and memory. Retrieved November 5, 2012 from rticles/PMC / # 156 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

14 In the overt condition, participants know... In the overt condition, participants recognize... In the overt condition, participants sense... # 192 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

15 At high concentrations... # 198 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

16 As had Smith and Jones (2010), we manipulated exercise and measured learning. The version above renders “Smith and Jones” important; the version below renders them less important. We manipulated exercise and measured learning (see Smith & Jones, 2010). # Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

17 Before the polygraph was invented... # 111 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

18 As the number of miles walked daily increases, performance improves on memory tasks. Flesh and blood characters: Daily, as people walk more miles, they better perform memory tasks. Rather than describing a mere correlation, this revision suggests that people improve their memory by walking: Daily, as people walk more miles, they improve their memory. #34 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

19 The shock upset the rat. The revision replaces the adjective “upset” with the verb “upset.” Here is another discussion of nominalizations. nominalizations # 175 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

20 The psychologist examined the polygraph records. # 172 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

21 During World War II, only the highly intelligent were selected for training... The revision replaces the noun “selection” with the verb “selected.” With more of a flesh and blood character: During World War II, only highly intelligent persons were trained to... # 22 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

22 The study of composition development vitally depends on memory. # 142 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

23 Memory catches and stores events. # 85 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

24 In a replication, younger adults scored below older adults. The revision replaces the noun “scores” with the verb “scored.” Here is a discussion of nominalizations. nominalizations # 69 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

25 Participants imagined. The revision replaces the noun “images” with the verb “imagine.” Here is a another discussion of nominalizations. nominalizations # 167 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

26 Patience is necessary in... # 171 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

27 Participants can prepare themselves to respond most quickly # 18 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

28 The students preferred beer over wine. # 250 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

29 Among teenagers.... # 200 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

30 Whether food deprived or not, the pigeons... # 211 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

31 The program will work as follows... # 263 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

32 The article discusses... # 180 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

33 Burglary is the most frequent crime. # 242 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

34 The first method could fail... # 112 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

35 Psychoanalytic must explain love... # 237 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

36 A second study (Smith & Klein, 2011), tested if level of exercise affected memory. The revision parenthetically refers to the authors because it is not the authors but their work that is important. Want to emphasize the authors? Look here: In their second study, Smith and Klein (2011) tested if level of exercise affected memory. # 59 # Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

37 To decrease negative thoughts and feelings, researcher have constructed... # 106 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

38 Often physical punishment was avoided because of ethical concerns. # 113 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

39 The client feared... # 232 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

40 Steroids reportedly hamper healing. # 269 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

41 The results substantially support level of processing theory. # 88 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

42 As we come to better understand humor we will... # 238 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

43 The confederate returned to... # 176 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

44 Students quickly learned to... # 195 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

45 Participants sat before a personal computer. # 2 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

46 To further understand the relation between age and verbal skill.... # 28 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

47 The professor demonstrated... # 247 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

48 Teenagers reportedly tend to watch less TV than do younger children. # 215 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

49 Participants reported that they exercised regularly. Participants reported regularly exercising. # 257 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

50 Only recently have professors recognized that student writing must improve. # 255 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

51 Before the participant entered the room, # 23 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

52 People use alcohol... People drink alcohol... # 240 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

53 For all conditions... # 103 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

54 This study explored whether verbal skill increases with age. # 20 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

55 Steroids reportedly increase appetite. # 254 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

56 The schedule continued... # 223 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

57 Learning depends on many factors. Many factors determine learning. #42 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

58 Throughout the children’s free time... # 226 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

59 This project provides... # 262 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

60 The confederate confidently strided into the room. # 219 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

61 Sarah reflected on how her life differed from those of her female ancestors. #268 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

62 The program controls the experiment. # 261 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

63 When the light was on, the lever was unavailable # 228 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

64 Participants were 25 undergraduates. # 67 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

65 Contrary to previous reports... # 181 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

66 Besides being happy, the client was generous. # 234 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

67 These data now support cognitive dissonance theory... # 189 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

68 The analysis of variance presumes that... # 109 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

69 Initially, the child laughed. # 233 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

70 Unlike other studies, this study did not explore skill differences. With flesh and blood characters: Unlike other researchers, we did not explore skill differences. # 48 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

71 The participants were increasing asking for... # 202 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

72 Within ten years, will we understand the biological bases for autism spectrum disorders? Within a decade, will we understand... # 201 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

73 Every student... # 216 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

74 The story angered the children. The story frightened the children. # 256 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

75 When the participant was confused about... # 244 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

76 As age increases, verbal skills increase (e.g., Zaretsky & Archy, 1980). Verbal skills increase with age (e.g., Zaretsky & Archy, 1980). # 43 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

77 Psychologists agree that... # 252 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

78 The Institutional Review Board prohibits removing... # 197 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

79 At six stations, participants... # 208 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

80 They predicted that as age increased so did verbal skill. The revision replaces the noun “prediction” with the verb “predict.” Here are other versions: They predicted that verbal skill increased with age. They predicted that age and verbal skill covaried. # 60 # Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

81 The experiment’s findings can enhance undergraduates’ learning. # 92 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

82 The data records were inspected. The data records were scrutinized. The data were inspected. The data were scrutinized. # 188 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

83 Program administrators at the National Science Foundation increasingly question... # 205 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

84 This project seeks... # 251 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

85 Dissonance theory explains the attitude change in terms of inconsistent cognitions. Dissonance theory attributes the attitude change to inconsistent cognitions. # 236 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

86 In general, people write best when... # 26 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

87 Maslow might assert that... # 225 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

88 For two months, the pups gained weight. # 258 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

89 The teaching assistant read instructions out loud. # 93 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

90 A good theory must have... # 231 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

91 Before modeling correct behavior, # 169 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

92 The solution was... # 183 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

93 Regarding Smith and Jones’s (1945) findings... # Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

94 The data indicate that the best way to increase cooperation is to cooperate. The data indicate that cooperation best increases cooperation. # 224 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

95 Some people believe that... # 222 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

96 The participants in the experimental group fear... # 204 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

97 Many parents feel their children have hurt themselves. # 210 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

98 The advertisement targeted cigarette smokers. # 209 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

99 Most participants were African- Americans. # 235 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

100 Social support energized the resistance. Social support galvanized the resistance. # 220 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

101 When Fendrick and Smith (2012) replicated this study... When Fendrick and Smith (2012) repeated this study... # 190 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

102 The first target appeared before a yellow background. # 174 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

103 The cannula was replaced. # 218 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

104 Many participants were similarly skilled. # 49 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

105 Responses to speech determine behavior. With flesh and blood characters and more words: How others respond to what you say determines what you do. What you do depends on how others respond to what you say. Your behavior depends on how others respond to your speech. #53 # Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

106 These findings replicate previous findings (Baron & Gottlieb, 2001)... The revision parenthetically refers to the authors because it is not the authors but their work that is important. This revision renders the authors important: As did Baron and Gottlieb (2001), we found that... # 27 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

107 To assess response latency... # 33 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

108 Before the injection... # 259 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

109 Participants in the incidental learning condition were unaware that memory was being studied. # 89 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

110 The participants enjoyed meditating. Above the noun phrase “experiencing joy” was replaced with the verb “enjoyed.” Certainly the revision is short but not synonymous with the original sentence. # 227 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

111 The study of compliance continues since the 1950’s. If the next sentence begins this way: Compliance may be understood to have three components.... Then a revision that produces cohesion would be: Since the 1950’s, there have been studies of compliance. # 229 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

112 He is expert on profiling. He expertly profiles. # 217 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

113 Because the solution was not isotonic... # 199 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

114 The professors aim to improve their teaching methods. The professors seek to improve their teaching methods. # 249 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

115 This project examined whether... # 239 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

116 Research methods will be improved. # 230 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

117 The doctor complained that some of his patients missed appointments. # 214 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

118 The researchers depicted... # 191 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

119 In secure marriages, each partner shows recognition of the other's contributions. In secure marriages, each partner acknowledges the other's contributions. # 221 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

120 The researcher demonstrated... # 168 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

121 Scores could range from 20 to 60 ms. It is best to include the unit of measure, here milliseconds. # 76 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

122 To test this hypothesis... # 193 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

123 The puzzles were imaginatively designed. # 179 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

124 The researcher demonstrated... # 170 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

125 Researchers must closely supervise their assistants. # 241 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

126 The participants in the experimental group distrusted.... # 203 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

127 Cognitive dissonance theory ignores.... Cognitive dissonance theory overlooks... # 196 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

128 The confederate announced that he was refusing to cooperate. # 213 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

129 When recall was completed,... # 98 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

130 This study did not examine skill differences. With a flesh and blood character: We did not study skill differences. # 50 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

131 We anticipate participants earning... # 177 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

132 Participants were ten undergraduates. Ten undergraduates participated # 65 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

133 The mice quickly mated. # 248 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

134 Although common a century ago, # 245 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

135 Participants were 25 male and 25 female undergraduates between the ages of 20 and 30. # 5 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

136 Two-frame slides were each presented for 10 s with a 3 sec inter-slide interval. # 75 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

137 To evoke responses... # 173 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

138 Though participants are of the same age, they need not have identical verbal skills. Though participants are of the same age, their verbal skills may differ. Participants of the same age can have different levels of verbal skill. # 63 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

139 Participant 1's diary covered his graduate studies. # 206 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

140 Successful assessment depends on accurately identifying the causes of the misbehavior. # 110 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

141 After the participant fell asleep... # 243 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

142 To reduce contamination... # 194 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

143 Winning the race has encouraged... # 178 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved

144 Exercise has enhanced learning. improved facilitated # 212 Marshall Lev Dermer © 2013 All Rights Reserved


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