Questions Asked by Grandparents Will we have to repeat by raising our great- grandchildren? How much should we help financially? Are we enabling our adult children? Our grandchildren? If so, in what ways? Will our adult children ever get it together and how will we know when?
Questions Con’t How do we make an appropriate transition of the grandchildren back to their parents? How do we get through the stress of one day? What about the stress on my marriage? What about my relationship with my adult child?
Questions Con’t What stress relievers are there? What are my individual stress creators? Why do our children not have the same faith that we do? How do we get our adult children into counseling? What ever happened to absolutes? How do I sit down with my child or grandchild and get them to talk?
In other words, this was a group of caring, concerned, hurting, people.
What We Talked About No distinct answer for their questions Thoughts, feelings, & emotions A + B=C - how beliefs affect consequences Stress management Discussion of undiagnosed addictions or mental health issues-symptoms… Power, control, & adrenaline Reframing
What We Talked About Con’t Change takes courage Recognizing the differences between beliefs, feelings, thoughts, values and are they really changeable Acceptance does not equal approval Discipline techniques Family building blocks
In Other Words Everything that might help answer the “why” questions of “What happened to my life?” Anatomy of forgiveness Take care of yourselves; you are not to blame for your situation.
Handouts Made Available Your rights and learning to say “NO” List of pleasant and unpleasant feelings Time out Pleasant imagery Anger reducers
What I Observed Grandparents used the information as tools to answer some of their “why” questions Grandparents were hungry for more information Grandparents became a support group for each other Those initially hesitant to share personal experiences became more comfortable in the group Several participated in individual counseling