Presentation on theme: "Assertiveness Chapter 15 Q=on Quiz. Assertiveness in Principle and Practice Assertiveness is a way of life that influences our interactions with others."— Presentation transcript:
Becoming Assertive Where do you fit? To determine if you are responding assertively in a particular situation, ask yourself if you are part of the problem, or the solution. If we are unable to manage our affect, we are more likely to behave passively or aggressively. If we are unable to manage our behavior, we are more likely to behave passively or aggressively. If we are unable to manage our cognitions, we are more likely to behave passively or aggressively.
Changing Affect to become Assertive We need to identify and change the thoughts that underlie negative emotions. When negative emotions interfere with assertive behavior, we need to learn how to turn on positive emotions. Change techniques: relaxation, exercise, change techniques in chapter 9
Changing Behavior to Become Assertive (Q) Change techniques from chapter 10, specifically behavior mod, and imagined rehearsal Use Assertive Communicationa method of speaking and listening that is respectful of oneself and others that keeps the lines of communication open. Three examples are: I Messagesa clear and specific statement of the problem from the speakers perspective with a suggested resolutionas opposed to the You Message that can turn into an argument. See Steps for I messages on pp. 195-6.
Changing Behavior to Become Assertive (Q) Example 2Active Listening When I Messages are reacted to aggressively by another, communication can end. Active listening is a way of dialoguing that attempts to understand and reflect anothers feelings and attitudes while staying in control. See steps and example on pp. 196-7 Example 3Verbal Defenses Sometimes our assertiveness is responded to negatively, so we need defense mechanisms to stay in control: broken record, content-to-process shift, assertive delay, assertive inquiry, cloudingp. 198
Changing Cognition to Become Assertive We must have the skill to stop thoughts about ourselves, and others in order to change aggressive/passive situations. Visualizing positive outcomes of being assertive can help us act assertively. See change techniques in chapter 11.
So, Why are People Aggressive? Aggressive behavior seems to work by intimidating others Aggression feels good temporarily. Aggression is promoted by society. Aggression is easier than assertiveness. Aggression allows us to be comfortable with our own prejudices. Aggression is motivated behavior.
So, Why be Assertive? (Q) The societal price of aggression The personal price of aggression The payoffs of assertiveness Assertiveness is a choice Weigh the outcomessee Arnie, p. 202