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Note: Sexual Intimacy A state of closeness and familiarity between two people characterized by the desire and ability to share one’s feelings with each.

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Presentation on theme: "Note: Sexual Intimacy A state of closeness and familiarity between two people characterized by the desire and ability to share one’s feelings with each."— Presentation transcript:

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2 Note: Sexual Intimacy A state of closeness and familiarity between two people characterized by the desire and ability to share one’s feelings with each other either verbally or non-verbally.

3 Note: Sexuality Human sexuality is the total expression of an individual’s femaleness or maleness through that person’s feelings, beliefs, attitudes, values and behaviours. It is a complex expression of the whole person. Sexuality reinforces and affirms the individual as a human being and allows the role of female and male to develop. One’s sexuality is the integration of a multitude of personal characteristics and factors.

4 Relationships You are at the point right now in your lives where for the first time you may be entering into very intimate relationships with other people. The experiences you may be going through are quite different from the ones you had when you were younger. These relationships can be very exciting and exhilarating and at the same time can be stressful, emotionally trying and confusing.

5 For the first time you are less concerned about yourself and your needs and now are having to think about the needs and concerns of another person

6 Having relationships is an important part of the growth process. It develops us from an emotional and psychological point of view and contributes to our maturing as a person. The interaction and give and take that occurs in a relationship as a young person will have a great impact on how you relate to other people when you are older. The successes and failures you have now in relationships will to a large extent prepare you for other relationships in the future.

7 One early lesson commonly learned in first relationships is what the difference is between love and infatuation. As young people with raging hormones we can sometimes get these terms confused.

8 Note: Relationships Friendship Is a significant relationship between two people based on caring, consideration and trust.

9 Note: Levels of Friendship 1. Casual Friends Are peers with whom you feel socially connected. You may talk with these people at school but their friendship doesn’t fill some of the deeper needs humans have.

10 2. Close Friends Are people you are more likely to share your inner feelings and thoughts with, You may trust these people with your secrets and will seek their advice and help when you are hurting, troubled or confused. Because you are dealing with such difficult issues and because close friends tend to be more honest with you it takes work and understanding for these friendships to stay healthy and grow.

11 3. Platonic Friendships Is a relationship with a member of the opposite gender in which there is affection, but no sexual activity. These types of relationships can be very useful in helping us understand people of the opposite sex as we can get advice from them from their perspective.

12 4. Going steady Is a decision on the part of two people to take a close friendship to the next level. Going steady implies a greater amount of commitment by the partners and can also entail more involved sexual activity. Doing this at too early an age can impair the social development that comes with dating.

13 Relationship Assignment See handout

14 Brainstorm with a partner what you think the top 10 characteristics of a good relationship and a bad relationship should be.

15 The 10 Characteristics of Good Relationship Trust – partners are able to confide in each other openly, knowing their confidences will be respected. Togetherness – in a healthy relationship, two people create a sense of both intimacy and autonomy. They each enjoy each other’s company but also pursue solitary interests. Expressiveness –partners in healthy relationships say what they feel, need and desire

16 Staying Power – couples in committed relationships keep their bond strong through tough times by proving that they will be there for each other. Security – Because a good relationship is strong enough to absorb conflict and anger, partners know that can express their feelings honestly. Laughter- humour keeps things in perspective.

17 Support – partners in good relationships continually offer each other encouragement, comfort and acceptance Physical Affection – sexual desire may fluctuate or diminish over the years, but partners in loving, long term relationships usually retain some physical connection. Personal Growth – in the best relationships, partners are committed to bringing out the best in each other and have the other’s best interest at heart.

18 Respect – caring partners are aware of each others boundaries, need for personal space and vulnerabilities. They do not take each other for their relationship for granted.

19 Eight Characteristics of an Unhealthy Relationship Extreme jealousy or insecurity Constant put-downs Possessiveness or acting like they own you Telling you what to do Explosive anger Making false accusations Isolating you from your friends and family Preventing you from doing the things you want to do.

20 Types of Abuse Domestic abuse is a pattern of abusive behaviour in a dating or domestic relationship. This abuse can be physical, sexual, verbal/emotional or a combination of these. Physical Abuse Is the intentional unwanted contact with the victim’s body by either the abuser or an object within the abuser’s control. Eg) scratching, punching, kicking, burning,etc.

21 Sexual Abuse Is any sexual behaviour which is unwanted and which interferes with the victims right to say “no” to sexual advances. Examples) date rape, unwanted touching, forcing person to do things they are not comfortable doing, etc.

22 Verbal/Emotional Abuse Is anything that the abuser says or does to the victim that causes the victim to be afraid, negatively affects the victim’s self esteem,or manipulates or controls the victim’s emotions or behavior. Examples) name calling, putdowns, yelling, threats, isolating the person, telling them what to do, stalking, etc.

23 How to Avoid Abuse Recognize – Learn to recognize abusive behaviour in its many forms Resist – Should someone use or try to use offensive touching, suggestive talk, or other inappropriate behaviour, resist in any way your can. Be assertive. Report – Get away and tell someone about the incident as soon as you can.

24 Relationships Issues Case Study 1. What types of abuse occur in the story? Give an example of each from the story. 2. Were there any warning signs Becky should have paid attention to? 3. Why might Becky have stayed with Tom after she was slapped? 4. What would you have done in Becky’s situation? 5. What are some of the different options that could have been taken to handle a situation such as this?

25 Riddle A father and his son are involved in a horrific traffic accident. The father is killed but the boy survives. In the operating room the surgeon about to work on the boy exclaims. “I can’t operate on this patient he’s my son!” What is the situation?

26 Answer –The surgeon is the boy’s mother!

27 Note: Gender Role Stereotypes Generalizations about how males and females should express themselves and the characteristics each possess. Men are thought to be independent, aggressive, better in math and science, logical and always in control of their emotions. Women on the other hand are traditionally expected to be passive, nurturing, intuitive, sensitive and emotional

28 Male/Female Differences Traditionally in our society we have tended to force or impose our expectations on males and females in terms of their behaviour and actions. BOYSGIRLS EG) bluepink

29 Sexual Stereotyping Narrowly defines roles for males and females in our society. Assigns particular traits or characteristics to a person based solely on their sex. There are many real and apparent differences between males and females (physical, psychological). The problem exists when we take these differences and use them to control or demean one group. Right to vote Hiring equity Pay equity Because we live in a male dominated society women have had to work hard to overcome obstacles to achieve their goals.

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31 Who we are as men and women 1. Physical Differences Hormonal Females – estrogen - emotional fluctuations, PMS Males – testosterone - larger muscle mass, sex drive, aggressiveness

32 2. Psychological There is a theory that there may be differences based on different parts of the brain. Females – left side –logic and language - express feelings better, argue more expressively Males – right side – shapes and spaces - building projects, spatial concepts in athletics, math related areas

33 3. Cultural Expectations and acceptable behaviour taught to us. Parents – boys play with trucks, wrestle, no crying, learn to supress emotions. - girls play with dolls, taught nourishment roles, non aggressive play. Teachers – unconscious bias Friends – encourage our differences

34 Factors that influence gender roles and sexuality Gender Roles & Sexuality ReligionSociety Educati on MediaFamilyPeersCulture

35 Sexuality and Gender Role Personal Analysis Use this worksheet to reflect on how your sexuality has been affected by various factors.

36 Sexuality can be utilized to exert dominance or power over another individual

37 When sexuality is used in advertising, certain values and attitudes towards sex are being 'sold' to consumers along with the products. The overriding question that must be asked when deconstructing any advertisement, is "what underlying message is being sold by this ad?"

38 Sex in Advertising: Comparison Ads Compare how males and females are depicted in advertising campaigns which use separate ads focusing on men and women. For example, both the Vuitton and Milk campaigns use a man and a woman to sell the same product, but note how the images of women are more sexualized than those of the men!

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40 Deconstruct four advertisements from ads you have found: You are to analyze the ads you have chosen The written responses to the questions on the Task Sheet will also be submitted with your ads.

41 Note: Communication Skills Speaking Skills When speaking, it is important to make statements that are clear and precise. One should also recognize that inflections or changes in pitch or loudness of your voice can also play a large role in how you communicate.

42 Note: cont’d Listening Skills Listening is an important skill as it allows the partner to understand what is being communicated. Body Language Skills It is important for non-verbal communicating to be consistent with what one is saying to ensure the message intended is communicated to the partner. Refusal Skills When one wants to say no, refusal skills provide an effective and direct way for the message to be communicated.

43 Communication Dos Listen Look the person in the eyes Ask questions Hear a person out Resist distractions Be open minded Assume responsibility for a two-way dialogue

44 Communication Don’ts Interrupt Raise your voice or yell Call names or label Blame Force or threaten Laugh at people Assume you understand Make snap judgements Say “always” or “never” Offer advice when it’s not asked for

45 Comparison of assertive, aggressive and non-aggressive communication ASSERTIVEAGGRESSIVENON-ASSERTIVE Strong & steady voiceLoud & explosive voiceSoft, uncertain voice Good eye contactIntimidating looksDowncast eyes Strong body languageIntimidating body language Shifting weight back & forth Aware of other feelingsInsensitiveDoesn’t feel comfortable talking about how he/she feels ConfidentDemandingNervous In controlCannot control temperUncertain This is what I thinkThis is what I wantMy thoughts aren’t impt “I” statements“You’d better” If you don’t then look out “ I guess, maybe”

46 Effective Communication “I” messages can be an effective way if communicating. They allow you to express your feelings without provoking resistance or retaliation. You allow the other person the freedom to respond. 1. When you use an effective “I” statement, you are describing the EFFECT of a situation or behaviour on you. You are not making a verbal attack on the other person.

47 2. An effective “I” statement tells the other person that you trust him/her to handle the situation constructively. By allowing the other person to assume responsibility for his/her own behaviour you enable him/her to change. 3. An honest expression of your own feelings will tend to open up communication. Interpersonal relationships and even intimacy can improve.

48 How to compose an effective “I” statement Describe the behaviour or situation that is disturbing you. (non judgementally) eg. “When you….(don’t call to say you will be late)” State your feelings about the effect the behaviour produces for you. Eg) “I feel….(worried, angry, ignored) State the consequences. Eg) “because…(the dinner is ruined)”

49 Aspects of sending effective “I” statements Ensure that you are not giving a disguised “you” statement. Eg) “I feel that YOU are inconsiderate” Do not be afraid to send a strong “I” statement. Use strong words to convey strong emotions…eg. “ I was petrified when you drove through the red light because I felt we would hit someone” rater that “I don’t like it when…”

50 “I” Statements Create an effective I statement that will communicate hoe you feel and open up communication to solve the following conflicts: Your boyfriend wants to go to the movies but you want to stay home. Your parent’s don’t want you going out during the week. You have a friend that always has to have their way. You have a boyfriend that want to spend too much/too little time with you. You have a friend that always gets drunk and acts like an idiot but doesn’t remember the next day. You keep having to help them out of nasty situations. You have a teacher that you think is treating you unfairly.

51 What is conflict? A struggle or disagreement about ideas, values, facts, opinions, etc. Conflict occurs when individuals or groups are unable to resolve a disagreement or internal struggle. Conflict is expressed through behaviours ranging from mental anguish to physical violence. OR Conflict is an emotional state that arises when the behaviour of one person interferes with the behvaiour of another.

52 Positive aspects of conflict No violence Communication improves People listen and respect each other Better ideas are produced to solve the problem Co-operation exits Fairness is achieved

53 Negative aspects of conflict Threats and blame continues Feelings are hurt Relationships are damaged Tempers get out of control People take sides Violence may result Health problems arise

54 Remember the four communication styles? 1. Aggressive 2. Assertive 3. Passive (non-aggressive) 4. Manipulative These styles also relate to the four styles of conflict resolution.

55 Conflict Resolution Approaches 1. Confrontation Eg) I win – You lose 2. Compromise Eg) I win and lose a bit – you win and lose a bit 3. Avoidance Eg) I lose- you win 4) Manipulation Eg) I might win – you lose Complete bottom of handout

56 Compromise Style = Assertive Feelings? Frustrated because you don’t get everything you want, satisfied about what you did get, happy for and still get along with other party Advantages? Get almost everything, problem is solved, good feelings, no grudge Disadvantage? Takes a lot of time and effort

57 Confrontation Style = Aggressive Feelings? Insensitive to other party, hurt feelings, power Advantages? Quick to resolve, you are happy Disadvantage? Violence possible, 2 parties not on good terms

58 Avoidance Style = Non assertive/passive Feelings? Your thoughts aren’t impt, other party feels power, Advantages? Quick to resolve, no violence Disadvantage? Possibly not best outcome, you get nothing

59 Manipulative Style = Manipulation Feelings? Hurt feelings if other party finds out Advantages? 1 party gets what they want, feel more intelligent for outwitting Disadvantage? Can take longer to resolve, outcome not universal, possible violence


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