3AngerWhat is Anger?Anger is important—large effects on social relationshipsAnger is a strong feeling of displeasureAntagonism and rage are synonymousDifferent from hurt or irritatedMay lead to revenge and/or violenceAnger can sometimes be used constructively
4*Misconceptions We are not capable of controlling destructive anger Uncontrolled and destructive anger expression is naturalUncontrolled and destructive anger expression is a force that must be “released”E.g. “venting,” “letting off steam,” ”blow your top”Others cause our anger
5Anger Most common between close ties More contact More caring about the actions/feelings of the otherGreater interdependenceRelationship success matters moreMore confident that expression is acceptableGreater predictability
6Anger Anger manifestations: 1. One type occurs instantly with no malice or forethoughtEven in people not generally viewed as hostile or aggressive.2. Another form festers away over timeRevenge.3. A third type is attached to one’s personality: trait-likeBeneath the surfaceCan quickly manifest when individuals feel pressured, defensive, attacked, told what to do (control)
7Anger Type 3: trait-like anger: Enduring disposition to experiencing anger more frequently, more intensely, and for a longerOften tuned to anger-related wordsResponds to anger words more quickly than to other emotion wordsPeople who have low-anger trait tend to spontaneously reframe the circumstances in ways that deflect or inhibit their anger
8AngerDifferent sources of anger: loss of control, frustration, fear, insecurity, loss, sadnessMen and women experience it differentlyMen: anger is empowering—they have power and it gives them moreWomen: emerges out of feelings of frustration and powerlessnessAs people age:Less likely to exhibit trait anger.Anger for older adults (~50s and up) is less frequent and less intenseLess overt displays of anger
9AngerManaging Anger:Three Different Ways of Expressing or Not Expressing One’s Anger:“Anger-Ins” (hold it in)“Anger-outs” (express it)“Anger controllers” (manage it)
10Anger Anger-ins: Difficulty in admitting that they are angry Know that they are angry but don’t want to tell the other personTell others about their angerGenerally passive aggressive.
11AngerAnger-outs:Automatic reactions, quick to criticize, blame, and accuseMinor aggressive acts such as bickeringVerbal aggressionPhysical aggression, force
12Anger Anger controllers: Think positively about conflict Use techniques to better manage itCollaborate and work together toward mutually satisfactory solutionsUse the S-TLC systemNegotiate rather than competeManage the conflict climate and stress levelsUse assertive communication behaviorEmploy the steps of the interpersonal confrontation ritual
13Anger Interpersonal confrontation ritual: Identify problem(s)/needs/issuesBe honest, be completeMany people can’t remember what they were fighting aboutSignal the need to talkIn a way that doesn’t threaten face or inflameConfront: talk about your problemBe assertive, not aggressiveListen to feedbackResolve: seek mutual agreementSeek compromise as a last resortFollow up: set a time/place
14Anger What to do before expressing (or withholding) anger *Take time outUse relaxation exercises*Engage in self-talkSeek alternative ways to release anger*Uncover the emotion that is disguised as anger*See your part in the problem*Mentally switch places with the other
15Anger If you must expressing anger: do it effectively Don’t: yell, make threatening gestures, curse or swear, threaten, mock, or use alcohol as a means of courageExpress after cooling downDirect at the targetRestore a sense of justiceRegain controlDon’t invite retaliationAnticipate the effect of your words and actionsTry to keep the other focused on the here and now
16Anger If another is the one in anger: Remain calm Acknowledge the source of angerListen and reflectWalk away if necessaryBut promise to engage later
18Conflict and Face Issues What is it?Impression or “image” people have of themselves*Based on the approval and acceptance of others“Looking glass self”Isn’t necessarily very accurateOne of our most valuable possessionsOften very fragileHeavily guarded; well defendedAll this is “impression management”
19Conflict and Face Issues Fundamental assumption:People are motivated to create and maintain impressions of themselves (core of many conflict situations)Demands of “face”:Create and sustain self-identity; create, protect, and maintain others’ identitiesWhen people lose face: shame (self-focused) and/or guilt (behavior-focused)May also seek retaliation
20Conflict and Face Issues Positive face:A positive and consistent self image that is accepted by the group, peers, othersWe want to feel that others approve and agree with this (somewhat fictional) self imageDesire to be liked and admiredRelates to self-esteem issues
21Conflict and Face Issues Face-threatening act: acts that conflict with the face wants and needsAutonomous face (also “negative face”):I’m in control of my fate, responsible; matureI’m self-sufficient, independent, reliableMay be seen as “silent leaders”“I’m part of the team, but I lead by example”Impose on my freedom to be in control: face threat (respond with defensiveness)Psychological reactance
22Conflict and Face Issues What triggers negative face threats?Threat, order, warning, request, reminder, suggestion, advice, promise, expressions of admiration, envy, hated, lustWe can signal that we have weak negative face:Expressing thanks, accepting thanks, accepting an apology, accepting an excuse, accepting an offer
23Other “Face” Concepts Fellowship face: Competence face Need to be seen as a valued member of the groupFocus on cohesiveness, equal participation, etc.Don’t stand out from the othersCompetence faceOur desire to be identified with a roleE.g. I’m the computer expert. I’m very competentI want to be seen as reliable by my peersThreaten: defensiveness
24Conflict and Face Issues Protecting others’ autonomy face:Ask open-ended questionsListen without judgingExplore optionsDon’t exclude others
25Conflict and Face Issues Facework:Establish/maintain impressions of ourselves to others; support or deny the impressions that others are making"the communicative strategies one uses to enact self-face and to uphold, support, or challenge another person's face" (Masumoto, Oetzel, Takai, Ting-Toomey, & Yokochi, 2000).
26Conflict and Face Issues Preventive facework—tacticsSee the situation from the other’s perspectiveHow does the issue affect the other and the other’s self-image?Initially (at least) accept what the other person says at “face” valueAccept the other person’s right to change his or her mindAvoid face-threatening topics; use communication practices that minimize threats to face.
27Conflict and Face Issues Preventive facework—tacticsUse politeness and disclaimersHedging: indicate uncertainty and receptivity to suggestionsCognitive disclaimer: asserting that the behavior is reasonable and under control, despite appearancesCredentialing: indicating you have good reasons and appropriate qualifications for your statementsSin license: indicating that this is an appropriate occasion to violate the rule; not a character defect.Appeal for suspended judgment: asking the other to withhold judgment until it is explained.
28Conflict and Face Issues Supportive Facework helps reinforce the way the other is presenting himself or herself1. Do I try to make the other feel important?2. Do I try to make the other look good to other people?3. Do I try to make the other think that they are winning?4. Do I try to make the other feel secure?5. Do I try to make the other believe that I am honest and trustworthy?
29Conflict and Face Issues Corrective Facework : statements meant to ameliorate the effect of face-threatening messages1. People overestimate their own level of cooperation and underestimate the other person’s2. Scanning: checking out the perceptions createdQuestion the other to confirm3. Explaining: used when we perceive that the other has not taken our message in the way we meant it
30Conflict and Face Issues Repair Sequence (ritual)1. Offending situation: the other’s behavior is perceived as intentional and hurtfulWhether accurate or notFace threatening: hard to continue until addressed2. Reproach: request for an explanation of an offense from the one offendedVerbal, nonverbal, aggressive, passive-aggressiveIf perception (step 1) is inaccurate, this can be a trigger
31Conflict and Face Issues Repair Sequence (continued)3. Remedy (account):Refuse to act or even note (most unsatisfying)Provide an account (explanation: excuse or justification)Concessions admit the offender’s guilt and offer restitutionApologies are admissions of blameworthiness and regret on the part of the offendersupplied by an offender4. Acknowledgment: evaluation of the account supplied by the one offendedWe’re even, we’re OK, I accept your reasonOr, rejection of the remedy
32Image Restoration Remedies ExcuseImpairment, diminished responsibility, scapegoat status, victim of sad circumstances, etc.JustificationNo harm occurred, it was deserved, other people do it, I meant well, I had a responsibility to do itConcessionI admit it, let me make it upApologyI admit it, and I truly regret itWeak restoreStrong restore
33Apologies Admission of blameworthiness AND regret Request for pardon, self-castigation, helpOffender wants to restore positive faceAppearance of a genuine apology can lessen emotional state of those with high trait hostility
34Conflict and Face Issues Conflict And Impression Management In CyberspaceAttractiveness of friends who leave messages on person’s wall in Facebook affects impressions of that person’s attractivenessComments made by others about a person on his or her profile are more influential in creating impressions than self-made statementsFacebook used more by socially adept people to strengthen relationships than by socially anxious people to create them
35Conflict and Face Issues Responding to OthersResults indicate that apologies and/or offering some corrective action were seen as the most appropriate and effective ways to restore one’s image
36Conflict and Face Issues Conflict And Impression Management In CyberspaceIn their study of online conflict, Smith, McLaughlin, and Osborne found that few people replied to reproaches and seldom completed the traditional repair sequenceNegative conflict behaviors were more frequent in CMC than FTFHigher levels of avoidance and lower levels of forcing in computer-mediated negotiation
38ForgivenessIs there an event in your life that you find difficult to forgive?Why?What would it take for you to forgive?What are the consequences of forgiving?What have been the consequences of not forgiving?
39Forgiveness Most important part of conflict management Only way to transform the meaning of the eventOnly way to minimize the likelihood of repeating the eventRepeats become more destructive with each iterationNot needed in every conflict situationDepends on intimacy of relationship, degree of outcome importanceConscious decision to reduce our focus on the eventWe decide not to change the future based on the pastWe decide to move beyond “victimization”
40Forgiveness Reconciliation: The process of restoring a damaged relationship (creating a new one, more accurately)Forgiving and reconciling are not the sameWe can forgive, but choose not to reconcile (or even let them know we forgive)Forgiving and reconciling are not one-time eventsWe tend to return to them cognitively and emotionallyWe deal with different parts over timeCompetent conflict managers use forgiveness and reconciliation strategies effectivelyDevelop a repertoire of responses
41And generate history, feelings, and other effects that persist Without competence in forgiveness and reconciliation skills, relationships will endAnd generate history, feelings, and other effects that persist
42Forgiveness Relational Transgressions Concern core relational rules Expectations about the way we should behave toward others and the way they should behave toward usWe assume a truth bias toward friends and lovers.Deception: deliberately altering information to change a person’s perceptionsWe assume a helping orientation toward friends and loversViolations leave strong emotional residues
43ForgivenessForgiveness: cognitive process; letting go of feelings of revenge and desires to retaliate.Aids in transforming the meaning of the event, or changing the way we view the event and the personReframing is keyUnforgiveness: cognitive process; not letting go of feeling of revenge and retaliationRevenge: “an eye for an eye.”Reconciliation: behavioral process; actions to restore a relationship or create a new oneDistinct from forgiveness.
44Forgiveness Advantages Of Forgiveness Why don’t we forgive? Mental HealthRaises self-esteem and lowers depressionPhysical HealthUnforgiveness creates stress; harsh long-term effectsHigher levels of pain for trait-based unforgivenessWidely demonstrated links to cardiovascular healthWhy don’t we forgive?Other hasn’t admitted wrongdoing, apology insincere, desire to be a victimEmpathy skill leads to higher levels of forgivenessAge—younger (college age study) = harderDon’t know how, no support
45Forgiveness Working through forgiveness Levels of Forgiveness Can be taught: it’s a skillLevels of ForgivenessForgiveness for own sake (it’s healthy, feels better)Forgiveness because of empathy: understanding that the other needs forgiveness, or…Forgiveness for the sake of the relationship (not necessarily the other or self)Higher level of empathy: he/she is “like me” (difficult)Even higher level of empathy: “I am like him/her” (most difficult)I could do this to others, too
46Forgiveness Working Through Reconciliation (optional) Levels of ReconciliationNo reconciliation: repression, victim status, low trust, bitternessPossible reconciliation:Usually after admissionConditional reconciliationAfter expression of regret and apologyProcessual reconciliationSome attempt at a remedyRestoration
47Forgiveness Working Through Reconciliation (cont.) Steps toward Reconciliation1: Account and apology (we usually need these to proceed)2: Acceptance of account and apology or its absenceWe must reframe the other and the event3: Forgiveness may or may not be verbally communicatedWe may simply act as though it’s forgiven4: Transforming the relationship, if desiredLess intimate, more intimate, different type of relationship5: Actions confirm forgiveness and reconciliationBeware negative self-fulfilling prophecies: we can create the behaviors in the other we expect to seeCreate positive self-fulfilling prophecies
48Forgiveness Working Through Reconciliation (cont.) Forgiveness and reconciliation feed each other in ongoing relationships:After forgiving one another, we tell each other that the act is forgiven, which allows us to act without reference to the offenseIn turn, we feel better about our relationship and can talk about our relationship without reference to the offense.In turn, actions confirm words which creates the reality of our forgiveness.
50Forgiveness Moving Beyond Victimization: We tend to want to find someone to blame (not ourselves)Sometimes, we must forgive without communicationWhen reconciliation is not safe, not possible, not desired by you. Not desired by the transgressor, etc.In these cases, any expression of anger, hurt, etc. may make it worse: we can’t risk the vulnerabilityWe learn to “move on”; drop the baggageSeeking revenge hurts us moreWe MUST do this if we want to continue interactionSometimes realize that, like us, the other is doing the best that he/she can
51Forgiveness Seeking forgiveness (offender initiated) Offender experiences feelings of shame and guilt for the offenseOffender makes a decision to seek forgivenessOffender expresses remorse and repentanceVictim should recognize that this is humbling, it puts the offender in a vulnerable positionFinal stage of seeking forgiveness: waitingDifficultTell ourselves that we did all we could
53MediationShift from dealing with our own conflicts to helping others resolve theirsWhen should we (do we) intervene?When people can’t/won’t do it themselvesMediator/mediation is not:Conciliation, ombudsperson, arbitration, and adjudication/litigationMediators are unbiased third parties who facilitate communication between conflicting partiesParties work out their own agreement
54Dispute When those involved cannot work out the conflict by themselves A conflict does not necessarily result in a dispute
55Why Mediation or other ADRs? High case load in the courtsLess expensive than litigationOften compulsoryGreater level of confidentialityGreater level of control of those involved in the process
56Mediation Typical mediation; 1. One or both disputants seek mediation or a mediator talk them into it.2. The mediator brings the disputants together and makes an opening statement.3. Following the opening statement, each person takes a few minutes to describe the dispute from his or her point of view without interruption.4. The mediator finds common ground on which to build agreement.5. The mediator writes up the final agreement.6. The mediator ends the mediation.
57Mediation Terms: ADR: alternatives to dispute resolution Adjudication: neutral judge and jury hear both sides and decide (ADR)Either side can appealArbitration: neutral third party hears both sides and makes the decision (ADR)More binding that adjudication (can’t appeal)Ombudsperson: an ADR where one side has a person that “cuts through the red tape” (usually when dealing with governmental agencies)Caucus: when the mediator talks to one side alone
58MediationConciliation: (ADR) neutral third party practices “shuttle diplomacy” by traveling back and forth between conflicting parties unable to meetMediation: (ADR) neutral third party facilitates communication between the conflicting parties; they work out mutually acceptable agreementMediators have no decision-making power
59Mediation Mediation reduces the BATNA of the disputants Mediators help to restore communication and normalize relationsMediation allows for full participation by the conflicting partiesMediation has a high success rate (80%)Formal versus Informal MediationFormal: satisfactory agreements are often worked out at a single session lasting 1–3 hoursInformal: people can help others without their being formally trained and certified.
60Mediation The Role of the Mediator The “principle of three” effect Two parties: encourages win/lose. Third person signals the public/social attention (face pressure)A mediator has no decision-making power regarding the outcome of the mediationThe mediator should develop a “subjective neutrality”Honors the validity and truth of each person’s story without deciding who is right or wrongMediators must maintain confidentialityMediators must give equal time/treatmentMediators should not be close with either party
61Mediation Mediators must be competent in communication Be descriptive, not judgmental (e.g., “It seems like you are raising your voice,” versus “It sounds like you are angry”)Be specific (e.g., “You say you are bothered you are by your colleague’s work habits. What specific habits?”)Focus only on behaviors that one can changeGive timely feedback when it is requested, as close as possible to the behavior being discussedSpeak only for yourself (e.g., “I understand you to say…” “I take it that you feel…” “I want you both to…” “I prefer to keep my opinions to myself.”)Check what you see or hear with the other parties
62MediationMediators encourage cooperation and discourage competition between the partiesMediators as Communication Rules EnforcersRules are obligations and prohibitions (what we may and may not say in certain situations).In opening statements, mediators define the communication rules for the mediation.They enforce those communication rules.They steer the disputants through the steps of mediation.They manage the tone of the discussion.They ask disputants to change focus when needed; keep them on task
63Typical rules Taking turns to talk without interruptions Talking without expressing hostility to one anotherCreating a positive climate; no put-downsFocusing on the future (what the parties will do) rather than the past (what was done)Striving for a win–win solution (no one feeling dissatisfied or agreeing to something unacceptable)Focus on solving the problem rather than attacking or blaming the other personBeing honest and sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism or publicityAdhering to time constraints/other rules set by mediator
64The Mediation Process: One or both disputants seek mediation, or mediators talk them into it (the intake process).The mediators bring the disputants together and make an opening statement, which includes:Participation in mediation is voluntary and the mediator or conflicting parties may terminate it at any timeThe mediator is unbiasedWhat is said in mediation is confidentialThat the goal is a written agreement with which both parties are satisfied or at least comfortable
65Mediation: opening statements That the mediator is an unbiased facilitator of discussion and does not make decisionsThat the parties should talk to and look at one another rather than at the mediator.That the parties will take turns talking without interruptions (nonverbal either)That the parties must adhere to time constraints set by the mediatorThat the parties strive to solve the problem rather than attack, blame, express hostility
66Mediation: opening statements That a positive climate with no put-downs will be enforcesThat focus will be on the futureThat they can openly share thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism or publicityThat a win–win solution is the target (define as no one feeling dissatisfied or agreeing to something either party finds unacceptable)That the parties agree to abide by additional rules as announced by the mediator during the session.
67MediationFollowing the opening statements, each person to takes a few minutes to describe the dispute without interruptionSometimes it is useful for mediators to caucusTheir may be some information that one disputant doesn’t want to reveal in the presence of the otherCaucus should be offered to the other sideFind common ground (to build agreement on)Use fractionation, framing (posing good questions with no blame language), reframing (mediators restate negatively loaded, biased, or accusatory statements)Helps the disputants look at the issues differently
68Mediation Final Agreement: Ending the Mediation A list of behavioral commitments that enumerates specific observable actions each party needs to take to fulfill the agreementEnding the MediationEach disputant receives a copy of the handwritten, signed agreement. If appropriate, the mediators set up a date for reviewing and evaluating the agreementMediators thank the parties and wish them wellUnlike formal mediation, in informal mediation, no need to file paperwork, have typewritten agreements, etc.
70Managing Conflict from a Theoretical Perspective Chapter 12Managing Conflict from a Theoretical Perspective
71Conflict Theory Understanding theories: Not the same as having the skillsTheories allow us to carry skills from one situation to anotherAllow us to apply them appropriately within situationsA skill is a learnable behavior, a person can improve it
72Intrapersonal Theories of Conflict Psychodynamic TheoryPeople experience conflict because of intrapersonal (internal, psychological, emotional, mental) statesHelps explain:Displaced conflict: acted out over the right issue, but with the wrong person/thingOften a more socially acceptable or weaker target (if the actual target is highly valued or has greater power)Misplaced conflict: acted out with the right person, but over the wrong issueOften over “safe” rather than suppressed issueOverblown conflict: conflict receives more attention than it really deservesOften to release pent-up energy
73Psychodynamic Theory The “id”: Contains the libido: The unconscious aspect that “contains everything that is inherited, present at birth, or fixed in the constitution”Contains the libido:The source of instinctual energy, which demands discharge through various channelsOperates on the “pleasure principle”:Tension-reduction process: tension from a bodily need is translated into a psychological wish to reduce the tensionSeek pleasure and avoid pain: only satisfaction; no regard for the cost of doing so
74Psychodynamic Theory The id is in conflict with the superego Perfects and civilizes behaviorSuppress all unacceptable id urgesTwo components:Ego ideal: the internalized idea of what a person would like to beConscience: morals and other judgments concerning correct and incorrect behavior
75Psychodynamic Theory Ego: mediates between the id and the superego Governed by the “reality principle”: satisfies the id's desires in realistic and socially appropriate waysWeighs the costs and benefits before actingEffects identified by psychodynamic theoryAnxiety: tension when people perceive dangerRepression: another defense mechanism when we try not to think about the situationFrustration: results from the internal battle between the id and superego that often erupts into conflict with othersSources: tension, stress, insecurity, anxiety, hostility, sexual urges, or depression.
76Attribution TheoryPeople act in conflict situations because of inferences they make about others based on their behaviorInternal attributions about another:E.g.: e.g. he hates, she’s stupid, he’s evil, she’s angry, etc.Often results in name-calling (you cheat, idiot, lazy, good for nothing, etc.) and assigning blame (it’s all your fault)External attributions for oneselfA way to avoid blame (it’s my parents’ fault that I am this way, I can’t help that I didn’t go to the right school)Avoid giving credit to others where it is due (e.g. you got the job because you graduated from the right school)
77Attribution TheoryFundamental attribution error: overestimate the internal factors and underestimate the external factors in perceptions in others’ behaviorsE.g.: “Look at what Sue is doing: she’s obviously got no talent talking to customers”Instead of: “Sue having difficulty making a connection with customers today. I wonder is she’s feeling the stress from her recent divorce”Self-serving bias: When we assign our successes to internal factors and our failures to external factorsE.g.: I was really good today with my employees; I have great “people skills.” I had no luck reaching Mike, though; “he’s not a team player”
78Social Exchange Theory We make decisions based on cost/benefit analyses of outcomes of relationshipsBenefits and costs: material, social, emotional, intellectual, etc.Relationship viewed as a positive is more likely to progress towards greater depth/breadthOUTCOME = BENEFITS – COSTSPerception issue, not realityCL = comparison level = threshold of perceived happiness from a relationshipDepends on our/their historySequence matters (when the good/bad event occurs)Trends matter (a perceived increase/decrease of good/bad events)SATISFACTION = OUTCOME - CL
79Social Exchange CLalt = comparison level of alternatives How attractive are other choices?What will be the outcome of continuing?Optimum situation when both parties find that: outcome > CLalt > CLIf so, relationship will become deeperAlternatives: affected by extrinsic and intrinsic factorsExtrinsic (outside influences): e.g. where you go to schoolIntrinsic (internal influences): e.g. you are shyDEPENDENCE = OUTCOME - COMPARISON LEVEL OF ALTERNATIVESPerception issue, not reality
80Conflict Theory Social Exchange applied to conflict management Third party intervention may lead a person to examine the current relationship and perceive inequity in it: creating conflictMediator can reframe issues to “redo the math”
82How Does Group Conflict Differ? Group conflicts are uniqueType of interdependence among the partiesOrganizational in natureWorkplace relationships (boss–employee, colleagues, department heads, employee–public, etc.)*We are better deception-detectors at workFamiliarity, but less truth biasGroup conflicts are distinct from:Formal grievances: must be resolved by third parties (e.g.: human resources specialists)Litigation: lawsuits and issues involving regulatory agencies that oversee an organization.
83The Nature of Conflict in Groups Types of ConflictInstrumental/task: disagreement between supervisors and subordinates or among members of a team over how to get a job doneRelationship: power, trust, supportiveness, competition, and IP relationship rulesIncluding those in task-oriented groupsIdentity: when face issues are threatenedProcess: disagreements over the management styleLack of agreement on departmental or organizational process goals
84The Nature of Conflict in Groups Information processing perspective:Assumes that conflict has a curvilinear relationship with cognitive flexibility, creative thinking, and problem-solving abilitiesAt low levels of conflict, groups may not experience enough stress to think actively: may ignore important information.At high levels of conflict, groups are unable to process information well: performance suffers
85Group ConflictConflict acts as a group developer (e.g.: Tuckman’s stages)Forming: confusion over expectations, uncertainties, power, identity, inclusion, boundary-testing. Conflict is withheld or poorly managedNot much gets done (no productive conflict)Storming: conflict between belonging and independence. Confusion about goals and purpose, leadership model. Can be short or longSome groups never leave (minutia-driven): maturity issueCan be very unpleasant to those averse to conflictTolerance of others is key to successfully moving onLeaders must not be too restrictive at this stage
86Group Conflict Tuckman’s stages Norming: all systems operational: productivity emerges. Members accept roles, purposes, normsTrust and structure stageUnity emerges: start acting like a team, not individualsPerforming: rare: Members are very interdependent, yet are very autonomous: little supervision requiredDissent is both allowed and welcomed (provided it is presented in the accepted fashion)Conflict focuses individuals on outcome-driven actionTermination: mandatory or voluntary dissolution of the groupEven the loss of a single member can shift the group into another stage
87When Conflict Creates Poor Outcomes Role ConflictNot just a job assignment: the expected characteristics of the person who fills the role.Formal role: from the assigned position in a group or organizationOrganizational chart or “chain of command” reflects these formal roles; prescribes who is supposed to report to whom.Informal roles in groups and organizations arise from the communication and interactionsBoth cause conflict
88Group Conflict Role conflict: Depends of the type of role Task (usually formal): asking for and giving information, opinionsPromotiveMaintenance (formal or informal) confirming others, supportive messagesDisruptive (informal): self-centered, diverts group off taskCould be task and maintenance roles that do not serve the outcome; they are not promotive, they are disruptive
89Too much cohesiveness: Groupthink “… when concurrence-seeking becomes so dominant in a cohesive in-group that it tends to override realistic appraisals of alternative courses of action” (Janis, 1982, p.9)
90Groupthink Symptoms Illusion of invulnerability (optimism): Relieves us of responsibility to make difficult rational decisions. Also, self-esteem and consistency issuesRationalization (especially negative information)Illusion of moralityStereotyping of outgroup members and leaders (us against them thinking)Peer pressure: dissent against the group members that disagreeSelf-censorshipIllusion of unanimity (silence is approval bias)Mindguarding (usually self-appointed)
91Group Conflict Abilene Paradox Group actions that no one (members) wanted to takeAction anxiety: we often act based on what we believe others expect us to doEven if we disagree, or we’re wrong about the others. Supported by:Negative fantasies (perceived risk): unrealistic visualizations of harmful effects resulting from acting the way we think we should: excuse for not acting.Fear of separation: ostracism is the most powerful punishmentReal risk: operates no differently from perceived riskConfusion of fantasies and reality: we make the fantasy reality (self-fulfilling prophecy): Fantasized risk becomes real
92Group Conflict Lucifer Effect Zimbardo (Stanford Prison Experiment) Usually in unusual, high pressure situationsCircumstances overwhelm the individualThe point where we “cross the line“Often occur when constraints are releasedRules are unquestioned: we obey without thinkingWe cannot separate “me” from the role expected of usRoles we play become so entwined we no longer think about what we are doing or what others expect of us
93Group Conflict Strategies to Resolve Conflict (chapter 3 issues): Contend (compete)CollaborateAvoidCompromiseAccommodateBias toward cooperation leads most people to try to collaborate
94Group Conflict Relationship issue: conflict is best avoided Research: avoiding responses to relationship-oriented conflicts: higher levels of team performanceContending or collaborating responses lowered team performance overallAvoiding responses better for two reasons:Relationship conflict is difficult to settle to mutual satisfactionCooperative and understanding unlikely to solve the problem; makes it bigger and intractableCollaborating and contending responses direct team members away from their tasks and teamworkFocus on interpersonal relations: team functioning and effectiveness suffers
95Group Conflict Best Practices Develop a habit of cooperation; manage (not maximize) group cohesivenessGroups that trust one another handle conflict in more productive terms.Avoid, at least initially, relationship-oriented conflictsBetter resolved over time as team members come to know one another better.Approach process and task-related conflicts in an expedient manner, favor collaborating strategies as a way to explore alternatives for future behavior.
97Managing Organizational Conflict Effects of organizational conflict:Lowered productivityLess creativityLess innovationProlonged, unresolved conflictNegative consequences for team members’ health
98Managing Organizational Conflict Organizational Diversity and Conflict:Diversity-based conflict: when personal characteristics (cultural, ethnic, racial, etc.) are the sourceSocial category characteristics (age, ethnicity, gender, etc.) and informational characteristics (work experience, education, values, beliefs, etc.) contribute to diversity-based conflict.Civility as a Response to conflict:Attitude of respect toward others manifested in our behavior toward them; not predicated on how we feel about them in particularHow we act, not think or feel
99Managing Organizational Conflict Civility:Mindfulness of the dignity of the other person in your sphere at all timesThe sum of the many sacrifices we are called to make for the sake of living togetherRules for civility at work:Best words when caught in an unexpected, emotional-charged situation: no words at all.Use words respectful of the specific listener to whom they are addressed (not some generic “rule”)Respect the reality of the situation: use temperate, accurate, non-inflammatory, words when describing or commenting on ideas, issues, or persons
100Managing Organizational Conflict Civility:Use objective, nondiscriminatory language that respects the uniqueness of all individuals.Respect your listeners by using clean language all the time on the jobCivility is two commitments:(1)Do no harm to others harm; (2) do good for others.When we disagree, civility requires that we be honest about our differences; manage rather than suppress or ignore themCivility requires that we come into the presence of others with a sense of gratitude, rather than duty and obligation.
101Managing Organizational Conflict Work-life conflictA. Work–life conflict: a balance between one’s personal life and the demands of work. Includes:HoursVacationChildcareWireless technologyTimeRoles at work vs. roles at home
102Workplace bullying: From Playground to Boardroom A frequent, enduring abusive interaction distinguished by targets’ inability to defendBullying has four specific features:IntensityRepetitionDurationPower disparity.Bullying intends to control or harm others through insults, gossip, criticism, ridicule, etc.Bullying is a pattern of abuse that persists;The longer the bullying, the greater the harm (physical, mental, emotional)
103Managing Bullies Reverse discourse Tactics of responding to the bully through communicative means (e.g. turning an insult into a compliment)Use of lawyers, outside expertsFormal or informal grievance against the bullyE.g. the confrontational ritual presented in chapter 2Doesn’t always work, particularly at workSubversive (dis)obedience: passive-aggressive behavior (chapter 3)Retaliation: hostile gossip and/or fantasies for physically harming or killing the bully
104Managing Bullies Psychological detachment Collective voice Creating a sense of being away from workCollective voiceWhen employees talk amongst themselves about their experiences and what they can do about themExodus. works well when one is only in a temporary situationA person can quit, make a threat to quit, put in for a transfer, or aid others in quitting
106Social Conflict Introduction Clash of different and conflicting value systems“Intractable issues”Transcends those involvedClash of social or cultural, religious, political, or economic philosophiesEach party doesn't understand why the other doesn’t “get it”Slogans and simple answers substitute for argumentsCan descend into violent behavior
107@Social Conflict Intractable issues appear like normal conflict: Fail to agree on their goals; see activities as incompatible; feel relational rules have been brokenIntractable issues add a difference:Become entrenched in “right and wrong” issuesThese fundamental assumptions operate below awarenessThis is “pluralism”The “socio-cultural reality of discrepant worldviews, ideologies, and moral frameworks, existing side by side”We characterize people as other, strange, different from ourselvesFueled by distrust and dislike; self-perpetuating; difficult to bring to any kind of resolution.
108Social Conflict Understanding intractable issues When conflicts become too entrenched, participants do not desire communication with the othersResort to static evaluations: name-calling; stereotypingWhen involved in intractable conflict:We addresses “the choir” eloquently, with elaboration and nuanceWhen address “outsiders” in a simplified and defensive wayThey become the aggressor, oppressorViolence is sometimes viewed as necessary for self-protection
109Social Conflict Intractable issues often involve: States or other actors with a long sense of historical grievance, and a strong desire to redress or avengeA long period of timeIntangibles: identity, sovereignty, values, beliefsPolarized perceptions of hostility and enmityBehavior that is violent and destructiveBuffer states that exist between major power blocks or civilizationsResistance to management effortsHistory of failed peacemaking efforts
110Social ConflictSilence—ignoring the needs of the other and the other entirelyGroup-based hatred: when person or group:Seeks to deny person or group their identitySeeks to deny person or group security, or the ability to pursue goalsE.g. the homeless seeking shelter, abortion protestors blocking the entrance of clinicsSeeks to put themselves ahead of others in the social, political, or economic structureSeeks to control resources in a win–lose conflictWhere no expansion of resources is possible (Israel and Palestine example)
111Social Conflict Patriotism and nationalism Patriotism: love of one’s country and a willingness to defend it from invadersNationalism: love of one’s nation as it will be once:It has exterminated all its enemiesBecomes totally unifiedAchieves its “grand purpose” of world-historical destiny
112Theories of social conflict Critical theoryUnderstanding situations by analyzing power relations between participantsUncover oppression, exploitation, and injusticeOppression: one group or set of groups are able to dominate and exploit another group or set of groupsExploitation: economic, physical, or psychologicalInjustice: perpetrated by dominant social classesExploitative wage labor, poverty, homelessness, lack of access to adequate education or health care.
113Theories of social conflict Critical theoryThe primary method of critical theory is praxis. It requires:The conflict mediator to examine his or her own assumptions about the conflictHow do values impact the way the conflict is viewed.The conflict mediator to look for ways in which people are allowed access to the expression of ideas on the conflictIs one group allowed better access than the other?Does one group have more resources than the other?Does one group have more right to define the conflict than the other group?
114Theories of social conflict Ripeness theoryOccurs when conflict participants realize that they are involved in a mutually hurting stalemateNeither can get the advantage, and all actions hurt both self and other)Both recognize a mutually enticing opportunity (both may gain without giving away something of value).Social exchange: emphasize factors that create pain for the participantsThey need to understand that the status quo will continue to increase pain and sufferingLook for factors that can tip the participants toward “ripeness” by making destructive conflict less attractive and peace more so
115Ways of Approaching the Other Demonize the otherTreating individual or group as someone/something to be feared and eliminatedRomanticize the otherConsider the other as far superior to ourselves.Colonize the othersTreating them as inferior, worthy of pity (perhaps) or (more likely) contemptGeneralize the otherTreating people as nonindividuals
116Ways of Approaching the Other Trivialize the otherIgnoring what makes the other differentNot an individualHomogenize the otherClaiming there really is no difference between them and ourselvesVaporize the other:Refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other at all (e.g. ignore those who might hand us a leaflet or ask us for money)Embrace the other (readjust our identities)What kind of “self” do I need to be to live in harmony?
117Managing conflict through nonviolent communication (NVC) NVC: more than just “civil”; desire to helpNVC: make observations (not evaluations), state needs, make requests (that allow for a “no”)No judgments, force, or demands)NVC driven by both language AND thinkingCompassionate giving (like a spiritual practice: a desire to help others AND ourselves)
118Effective Compliments Even saying, “you’re great” is a judgmentOften not very effective (may sound like an auto-response)Worthwhile compliments should be very specific and behavioralThey identify:The cause: the specific actions that led to the effectsThe effects:The particular needs of ours that have been fulfilledThe good feelings engendered by the fulfillment of those needsSometimes, a “thank you” is fine, but people appreciate the specifics more
119Compliments Compare: “Wow, thanks a lot!” “Wow, I’m so glad you took time out of your day to walk me through that customer issue. As the new hire, I sure needed some insight from an expert. I feel much less overwhelmed by the job now”
120Importance of our worldviews Composite of values, beliefs, and attitudes we hold toward the worldTaken-for-granted natureThey underlie most intractable issuesThey blind the participants to alternative viewsEffect what we observe, how we explain and describe what we observe, and what we believe we should doWhat is normal, right, wrong?What are people, what is the nature of nature?What is time?How should we live, get what we need?How important are our groups, and in what way?Is there a God? If so, how does that change things?
121Creativity and Conflict Chapter 16Creativity and Conflict
122Creativity and conflict Creativity: a process of making sense of some problem in a new wayFour stages of the creative process:The preparation stage: all previous learning and any information you gather to address the problemThe incubation stage: period of thinking about the problem—giving it time to take shape and formThe illumination stage: when a particular idea appears in response to the problemThe verification stage: testing the creative response to substantiate the new idea
123Creativity and conflict Traits of Creative PeopleVery few innate differencesCourage: willing to risk failureAllowing for multiple attempts as normalExpressiveness: be ourselves, not fear what (we think) others think of usHumor: helps us put incongruous ideas together and see new relationshipsIntuition: having faith in what we think is a good idea and how we feel about those ideas.Listening to our “inner voices”
124Creativity and conflict Traits of Creative PeopleLearning from successes, mistakes, and failuresNot hiding failures from our perceptionHaving fun doing what we doInvolves finding fun: a perception, not an objective realityWilling to ask others for helpNot restricted by our prideConfidently implementing decisionsWithout second-guessing ourselves
125Creativity and conflict Why is creativity important?More likely to develop mutually satisfying outcomes in conflict situationsHealth issuesEffective, creative decisions requireSearching for threats and opportunities in situationsIdentifying the causes of situationsEvaluating the risks of the situationApplying intuition and emotionTaking multiple perspectives (genuinely)Considering the time frame for making the decisionWorking to solve the problem
126Creativity and conflict Misassumptions prevent creativity:Too success orientated due to fear of failureValuing peer pressure and conformity to muchYielding to sanctions against critical explorationToo much curiosity is disruptiveOveremphasis on sex roleAssuming “divergent behavior” is “abnormal”Like the genius/madness assumptionThe work/play dichotomy—work is a burden; play is an end in itself, unrelated to work
127Creativity and conflict Creativity can be learnedBest if not domain-specific (e.g.: very general approach, like brainstorming)Barriers to CreativityTrained incapacities: when existing talents (good ones) and abilities limit our thinkingToo task oriented/goal centered: when it blinds us to the implications of the outcome: give them space to decideRedefinition: if we rely only on what “sounds good”Critical thinking: when seen as an attack, or as “argumentative” (or when it is argumentative)Using objective standards: when it mitigates flexibility, or when we think of them as the “one right way”
128Creativity as Thinking Differently Vertical thinking: series of steps, completing one before the nextLateral thinking: restructuring patterns (insights) and provoking new ones (creativity)Reversal: allow the outcome to drive the processEntry vs. attention area: shift the attention area from entry point (usually the initiation stage) to other areas (e.g. the triggers, the history, etc.)Different perspectives at each attention areaSix Hats approach: requires one to ask questions from different vantage points
129Creativity and conflict White Hat: information known or neededWho is involved, why, what are the issues, etc.Red Hat: feelings, hunches, and intuitionFocus on feelings about the conflict.Yellow Hat: focus on values and beliefsIs solution consistent with the person you believe you are (is it something to be proud of)?Black Hat: the devil’s advocateGreen Hat: focus on creativity of viewpointsBlue Hat: macro approachAre all angles conidered? Are there other ways of achieving the same goal? Is the goal worthwhile?
130Creativity and conflict Consider mind-mapping processMind-mapping: like brainstormingNon-linear: no start pointBrainstorm conflict concepts, then connect themThe visual “map” can lead to new insightConsider visual journaling processLike a visual mind map, but more expressiveImage-based response to conflict in our lifeAllow the free expression to reveal hidden meaning