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Leading through Conflict Presented by Barry L. Davis, MS, CTC, MCDP - Career Coach | Speaker | Blogger | Minister | Marathoner.

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Presentation on theme: "Leading through Conflict Presented by Barry L. Davis, MS, CTC, MCDP - Career Coach | Speaker | Blogger | Minister | Marathoner."— Presentation transcript:

1 Leading through Conflict Presented by Barry L. Davis, MS, CTC, MCDP - Career Coach | Speaker | Blogger | Minister | Marathoner

2 Conflict is unavoidable... actually necessary, even critical to success catastrophic... a commitment to avoid conflict can be catastrophic

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4 Conflict is unavoidable... actually necessary, even critical to success Bay of Pigs vs. Missiles of October Role of President Present at all meetings Deliberately absent at times Role of Participants Advocates for particular depts. Skeptical generalists Group Norms Defer to experts, protocol Minimize status/rank

5 Conflict is unavoidable... actually necessary, even critical to success Bay of Pigs vs. Missiles of October Involvement of Participants Extreme secrecy, top levelDirect contact, various levels Use of Subgroups One small group, autonomousTwo subgroups, debating Consideration of Alternatives No competing plansAlternatives discussed Institutionalized Dissent No “Devil’s Advocates”Two assigned this “role”

6 Leading through Conflict 3 Basic Approaches... The Demagogue The Manager The Mediator

7 Leading through Conflict The Demagogue Leads through fear, threats, intimidation Turns opponents into scapegoats Uses lies and propaganda to dehumanize the Other Resorts to violence to dominate or destroy the Other

8 Leading through Conflict The Manager Operates on an exclusive, limited definition of “us” Defines purpose in terms of the self-interest of own group Cannot/will not deal with the issues, decisions or conflicts that cross boundaries Is productive and effective only on home turf

9 Leading through Conflict The Mediator Strives to act on behalf of the whole, not just a part Thinks systematically, committed to ongoing learning Builds trust through bridges across dividing lines Seeks innovation and opportunity to transform conflict

10 1. Integral Vision Committing ourselves to holding all sides of the conflict, in all their complexity, in our minds and hearts Check your vision Don’t swap boundaries Watch your language Visit the Balcony Develop a mature mind Learn to see through walls Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools

11 2. Systems Thinking Identifying all (or as many as possible) of the significant elements related to the conflict and understanding the relationship between them Keep it simple Think systematically about your role View from “outside of the box” Ask, “And then what?” Think twice before naming enemies Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools

12 3. Presence Applying all our mental, emotional, and spiritual resources to witnessing ourselves and the conflict of which we are now a part Find your own path Practice presence, even in the face of fear Become a reliable witness Pay attention to energy Clarify your motivation Promote presence at meetings Cultivate quiet presence Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools

13 4. Inquiry Asking questions that unlock essential information about the conflict that is vital to understanding how to transform it Make questions count Interrogation is NOT inquiry Lean questions toward the light Don’t blame, listen more deeply Practice especially with those you hate – and love Take listening tests Learn from Master Mediators Listen especially to those who have no voice Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools

14 5. Conscious Conversation Developing our awareness of the full range of choices about how we speak and listen Go beyond Robert’s Rules Set ground rules beforehand Make rules owned by all Let go of “winning” arguments Replace abstractions with relationships Leave your comfort zone Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools

15 6. Dialogue Communicating in order to catalyze the human capacity for bridging and innovation Seek the Ripple Effect Uncover assumptions Make hidden agendas visible Equalize power relationships When necessary, add action to dialogue Rebuild trust when it runs low Challenge arrogance with dialogue Use respect to dissolve stereotypes Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools

16 7. Bridging Building actual partnerships and alliances that cross the borders that divide an organization or community Build bridges one step at a time Bridge idealism and practicality Build from the middle, not just from the top Think like a minority Raise the level of the game Learn to bridge by doing it Think webs, not walls Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools

17 8. Innovation Catalyze social or entrepreneurial breakthroughs that foster new options for moving through conflicts Don’t seek the limelight Practice collaboration, don’t just preach it Emphasis coleaders and teams, not individuals Fix the process as well as the problem Ensure fair rules Learn to dance Mediating through Conflict – the 8 tools

18 Conflict – Affective vs. Constructive Before Rules established in advance Roles clarified for each individual involved Respect build mutually, considering cognitive styles During Reframe recast in a different light Redescribe present ideas, data in novel ways Revisit basic facts and assumptions at impasses After Reflect evaluate process, learn Repair damaged relationships and hurt feelings Remember and celebrate successes

19 Some excellent resources on the subject... Leadership and Self-Deception The Arbinger Institute, 2002 Leading Through Conflict: How Successful Leaders Transform Differences into Opportunities Gerzon, Mark, Harvard Business School Press, 2006 Why Great Leaders Don’t Take Yes For An Answer Roberto, Michael, A., Wharton School Publishing, 2005 The Wisdom of Crowds Surowiecki, James, Doubleday, 2004 Leading through Conflict

20 Barry L. Davis, MS, CTC, MCDP Gift of Self Career Services, LLC - https://www.facebook.com/GiftofSelf bdavis@giftofself.biz http://www.linkedin.com/in/barrydavismcdp http://twitter.com/bl_davis Blogs for the New Workplace: http://bdavismcdp.wordpress.com/ 717.283.5760 cell


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