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9/4/2014 MENTORING Barry Gane (Thank You Wayne French)

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Presentation on theme: "9/4/2014 MENTORING Barry Gane (Thank You Wayne French)"— Presentation transcript:

1 9/4/2014 MENTORING Barry Gane (Thank You Wayne French)

2 9/4/2014 Definition of Mentoring Mentoring is a dynamic, intentional relationship of trust where one person enables another to maximise the Grace of God in their life and service.

3 9/4/2014 History of Mentoring n In Homer's Odessey, the Greek warrior Odysseus leaves his wife and his young son, Telemarchus, at home while he journeys to fight in the Trojan War. To ensure that his son is adequately cared for, Odysseus appoints a teacher named Mentor to tutor the boy and act as a guardian and friend while he is way.

4 9/4/2014 n The privilege of having a mentor is to know I do not run alone. Someone is barracking for me n Heb 10:24,25…spur one another on towards love and good deeds…encourage one another

5 9/4/2014 Biblical Models n Jesus and Disciple n Jethro and Moses n Moses and Joshua n Samuel and David n Jonathan and David n Elijah and Elisha n Paul and Barnabus n Paul and Timothy n Eunice and Lois

6 9/4/2014 Need for Mentoring n Of 400 leaders in the Bible only 100 finished well. n 10,000 ex-pastors in Australia! (Rowland Croucher, - John Mark Ministries in Melbourne Research)

7 9/4/2014 Mentor n Who do you look back to? n Finding Forrester

8 9/4/2014 Need for Mentoring n Pressure of Public Life n Compulsive competitive behavior n Irresistible forces of power(pride), wealth(greed), sex(lust). n Few meaningful relationships n Neglect of friends, spouse and family n Cynical spirit of Today’s media and society n Little or no intimacy with Christ n Difficulty in breaking one’s isolation and becoming transparent and vulnerable even within a caring group.

9 9/4/2014 Need for Mentoring Adolescents n Latch-Key kids and Working Parents n Lifestyle Changes n Adolescent Isolation

10 9/4/2014 Mentoring and Adolescents The International Youth Foundation put it this way; " Every young person needs at least one adult who is irrationally committed to their well- being. Millions of children grow up virtually alone - disconnected from adults. No love. No supervision. No positive role models. Yet these people must still find their way - they still grow up to become adults. Children can endure the most miserable conditions - even thrive in the midst of them when - if they have at least one loving adult committed to their success. p66 New Directions

11 9/4/2014 Mentoring and Adolescents n Emmy E Werner's landmark conclusions were the strongest predictor of resilience (of children who grow up in abusive situations and then go on to live productive lives) was "an adult mentor outside the immediate family -- grandmother, a minister for example -who gave them a sense of being loved and important. “Starting Right” p147 n Example – “My Story”

12 9/4/2014 Mentoring and Adolescents n The peer group exerts a powerful influence on millions of kids today, but it's only influence by default. It's influence given to it by a culture that has abandoned its young. n But when parents are there for their kids - and when young people are surrounded by adults who truly care about them - the peer group is virtually de-fanged… n Kids really do want guidance and direction from people who are older and wiser than they are. New Direction p68

13 9/4/2014 Mentoring and Adolescents n What the studies tell us is that teenagers do look first to significant adults in their lives for influence. They look to their parents, then to other family members, then to other adults who are "irrationally committed" to them. p67 New Directions

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15 Mentoring and Adolescents n It is clear that young people grow to maturity in general and to maturity in Christ in particular by being around those people who have such maturity themselves. Margaret Mead, the renowned anthropologist, warned of the dangers of what she called a co-figurative culture - a culture in which all learning is horizontal, and little or no learning comes from an older and wiser generation_”p144 Starting Right

16 9/4/2014 Significant Adult Was there a significant person on any of these memory events that you remember who had an impact on your life? Pre 1994 2001 2002 Peru Summer ’03 n 1. Yes 58% 82% 97% 88% 91% n 2. No 42% 16% 3% 10% 8%

17 9/4/2014 Significant Person

18 9/4/2014 Types of Mentoring Relationships

19 9/4/2014 Biblical Types of Mentoring Relationships

20 9/4/2014 Peer Mentoring n Eccl 4:9-12. n Begin with a friend n Set aside regular times to be together n Maximise your time together n Seek to be transparent with each other n Focus on major areas where we can stray n Ask good questions n Be mutually accountable n Show mutual respect n Pray together n Have fun together n Arrange special times together

21 9/4/2014 Mentor to Mentee n Regular communication is important. n Let the mentee lead the conversation and encourage him or her to think the issue through. n ALL Communication MUST BE strictly confidential.

22 9/4/2014 Mentor to Mentee n Keep your word to your mentee. n Encourage your mentee to keep his or her word to you. n You are not expected to take on the parental role or undermine parental authority. n Gifts are strongly discouraged.

23 9/4/2014 Qualities of a Mentor n Christ centered n Passionate n Relational n Affirming n Trusting and Trustworthy

24 9/4/2014 Qualities of a Mentor n Available n Open and Transparent n Prayerful n Self Aware

25 9/4/2014 Youth’s Description of a Mentor n Someone who regularly keeps in touch with me. n Someone to do a lot of things with. n Someone who cares. n Someone who is always there and can make me feel secure. n Someone who fosters open communication with me: discussing more than school, work, or church. n Someone who is like a Big Brother or Big Sister and can give me advice. n Someone who listens to my problems.

26 9/4/2014 Youth’s Description of a Mentor (contd) n Someone who can be a role model in many things. n Someone who is willing to share some personal information about what it was like for them growing up. n Someone to have fun with. n Someone who follows through on their promises. n Someone who doesn't try to change me. n Someone who feels comfortable with me and with whom I feel comfortable.

27 9/4/2014 Self Awareness n Draw a horizontal line 0______10 n Place an x on how open you are to feedback from others n Draw vertical line 0______10 n Place x on how easily you share info about yourself

28 9/4/2014 Self Awareness 0 X10 0 X 10

29 9/4/2014 JOHARI WINDOW OPENBLIND HIDDENUNKNOWN Known to Me Not known to me Known by Others Not Known by Others

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32 Mentoring and Adolescents n Mentoring happens when adults commit themselves to young people, not because they have to, but because they want to. n Urie Boronfenbrenner of Cornell University describes this as having an "irrational emotional attachment" to a young person... It is, in Boronfenbrenner's words, "the illusion that comes with love." New Directions p66

33 9/4/2014 Mentoring and Adolescents n Adolescents need oases - places where they can go and make mistakes and be imperfect - places where they can test themselves in the presence of safe, caring, and accepting adults and peers. An adolescent who is given the zip-it silencing treatment, learns quickly not to experiment or trust himself Starting Right.308

34 9/4/2014 Mentoring and Adolescents “ But suppose that they look at the model and find a person with whom they can truly identify. Suppose they find a warm, loving, accepting, compassionate heart. Suppose they find high personal standards coupled with a great understanding of human weakness in others. Suppose they find one who has purpose in life, who knows where he is going, and who journeys on his way with a song on his lips and a radiance on his face because God is with him. Will they not say, " That's what I want let me follow you. Teach me how to find the richness of life that you have found.”

35 9/4/2014 "Youth Ministry is a good idea. But there is a better idea... It's called church… Not youth church, or contemporary church, or postmodern church. Just plain, boring, ordinary church. Yes, that's right. Church. The place where people who don't know each other get to know each other; where people who normally don't associate with each other, associate; where people who are different learn how to be one.... Mostly, church is the place where we can grow old together. And it turns out that growing. old together is still the best way to bring lasting results with students. Growing old together is where we teach (and learn from) each other what discipleship means in the everyday world... Somehow, being with a group of diverse people week after week caused a bond to be formed-a family was created, and community happened. The mystery of community became a reality. Community isn't complicated. It's just a group of people who grow old together. They stick with each other through the teenage years, marriage, children, getting old, sick, and finally dying-all the while teaching each other how to follow Christ through the rugged terrain of life.... Maybe the body of Christ is the place where youth ministry was supposed to happen all along.... [Real] youth ministry would happen when all of the adults decided to connect with all of the kids and do church together.” 1 Mike Yaconelli, "A Better Idea Than Youth Ministry", Youthworker (Sept/Oct 2002).

36 9/4/2014 Some Resources n Jean E. Rhodes, A Critical View of Youth Mentoring: New Directions for Youth Development, Jean E. Rhodes n Carol A. Mullen, Dale Lick, New Directions in Mentoring: Creating a Culture of Synergy Carol A. MullenDale Lick n Randy D. Reese, Keith R. Anderson, Spiritual Mentoring: A Guide for Seeking and Giving Direction Randy D. ReeseKeith R. Anderson n Cathi Basler, New Directions for Youth Ministry Cathi Basler n “Intensive Caring: Practical ways to Mentor Youth” by Group Publishing n “Successful Youth Mentoring” Group Publishing n “One Kid at a Time” Wayne Rice and Miles Mc Pherson

37 9/4/2014 Some Resources n Charles Kishpaugh & Barbara Bruce, Friends in Faith: Mentoring Youth in the Church, 1993 Discipleship Resources, Nashville n Sharon Reed (ed.), Guides to Youth Ministry - Pastoral Care, 1993 Don Bosco Multimedia, New Rochelle n Sondra Higgins Matthaei, Faith Matters: Faith- Mentoring in the Faith Community, 1996,Trinity Press International, Valley Forge

38 9/4/2014 Mentor Programs n Cheryl Lawrie, (ed.), The Belonging Kit, 1998 Uniting Education, Melbourne n Devo'Zine Small Group an Mentor's Guide, Upper Room, Nashville n John A Vitek, A Companion Way Mentoring Youth in Searching Faith, 1992 Saint Mary's Press, Winona n William H. Willimon, Makin Disciples - a new approach to confirmation, 1990 Logos Productions

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