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1 Writing Technical Papers in English Marilyn Tremaine.

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1 1 Writing Technical Papers in English Marilyn Tremaine

2 2 Overview of Presentation Overall Paper Organization General Principles of Readability Writing Good Paragraphs -----------Stops Here ----------------- Creating Flow Between Paragraphs Editing

3 3 Overall Paper Organization Title Abstract Introduction Literature Review -----------------Stops Here-------------- Methodology Results Discussion Conclusion

4 4 The Paper Title Good Title Characteristics Examples of Good and Bad Titles Clever Titles

5 5 Good Title Characteristics Says precisely what the paper is about Is short Does not have multiple sub-clauses

6 6 Examples of Good Titles Impact of Information Technology on Agricultural Commodity Auctions in India –Tells readers precisely what paper is about A Review of Component-Based Software Development –Short, to the point

7 7 Examples of Bad Titles Mobilizing Informational Social Capital in Cyber Space: Online Social Networks and Knowledge Sharing –Not clear what will be in paper –Multiple possibilities presented in title Rewrite –Online Social Networks and Knowledge Sharing

8 8 Examples of Bad Titles Knowledge Acquisition Through Computer- Mediated Discussions: Potential of Semantic Network Representations and Effect of Conceptual Facilitation Restrictiveness –Too long –Tries to say everything that is in paper Rewrite –Semantic Network Representations for Knowledge Acquisition in Computer-Mediated Discussions

9 9 Clever Titles Tendency in IS to write clever titles Form –Well-known idiom: real title that translates idiom in new way Bad Examples –“Share and share alike: exploring the user interface affordances of file sharing” –“To have and to hold: exploring the personal archives” Titles are not humorous Initial phrase only adds to length of title Does not provide new information

10 10 Clever Titles However, some titles done well in this fashion immediately “sell” the paper Examples of good “clever” titles –“Alone together?”: exploring the social dynamics of massively multiplayer online games –Pride and prejudice: learning how chronically ill people think about food Initial phrase sets up a context that adds to meaning in title Initial phrase is a surprise

11 11 Clever Titles General Rules of Usage –If you do not feel comfortable enough with idiomatic English, do not use –Can be used in following fashion Higher level theme: sub theme of paper Name of software system: description of the system’s purpose

12 12 Problem: Generate PaperTitles from Abstracts Count number of words –Less is better Count number of clauses –Less is better Does title accurately describe paper? Is title specific?

13 13 Abstract 1 SUGGESTED TITLES – pick best one A Proposal to Measure the Impact of Culturally-Based Perception of Time in Distributed Software Development Teams Software Development in Distant Groups: A Gap-Analysis of Culturally- Based Perceptions of Time Global Software Development: A Proposal to Measure the Impact of Temporal-Cultural Differences A Proposal to Measure the Impact of Temporal Cultural Differences on Team Performance in Distributed Software Development Global Software Development: Modeling Temporal Cultural Differences and their Effect on Team Performance Modeling the Impact of Spatial Separation on Team Performance in the Software Development Groups Cultural Differences in Temporal Perceptions and its Application to Running Efficient Software Teams

14 14 Abstracts 2 and 3 ACTUAL TITLES Where is “it?” Event Synchronization in Gaze-Speech Input Systems Incidental Information Exchange: A Measure for Assessing the Effect of Mediated Communication in Work Relationships

15 15 Overall Paper Organization Title -  Abstract Introduction Literature Review ------------------Stops Here-------------- Methodology Results Discussion Conclusion

16 16 The Abstract Purpose What Should be in an Abstract? Common Problems Difference between Abstract and Introduction Examples –Good abstracts –Poor abstracts

17 17 Purpose of Abstract Get paper accepted –When a reviewer reads your paper they form an image of what it is about from the title and the abstract –The reviewer uses this impression to interpret the rest of the information in the paper –If the abstract is disorganized or incomplete, this will leave reviewer with initial impression of paper that may be hard to change

18 18 Purpose of Abstract Get paper cited by others –Researchers are busy people –Often they do not read entire papers, only the abstract –A good abstract will help a busy researcher to skim your paper, and possibly get you cited –Many search programs do a keyword in context search so that words in abstract help your paper to be found

19 19 Purpose of Abstract Help readers build a good picture of what is in your paper –Useful for individuals reviewing papers they have read –Useful for individuals searching for a particular piece of evidence –Helps with the reading of a complex paper

20 20 What Should be in an Abstract? An abstract should briefly: –Establish the topic of the research –State the research problem or main objective of paper –Indicate the methods used –Present the main research findings –Present the paper’s conclusions

21 21 Topic of Research The long-term performance of various systems was determined and the economic aspects of solar hot water production were investigated in this work. The effect of the collector inclination angle, collector area and storage volume was examined for all systems, and various climatic conditions and their payback period was calculated. It was found that the collector inclination angle does not have a significant effect on system performance. Large collector areas have a diminishing effect on the system’s overall efficiency. The increase in storage volume has a detrimental effect for small daily load volumes, but a beneficial one when there is a large daily consumption. Solar energy was found to be truly competitive when the conventional fuel being substituted is electricity, and it should not replace diesel oil on pure economic grounds. Large daily load volumes and large collector areas are in general associated with shorter payback periods. Overall, the systems are oversized and are economically suitable for large daily hot water load volumes.

22 22 Objective of Paper The long-term performance of various systems was determined and the economic aspects of solar hot water production were investigated in this work. The effect of the collector inclination angle, collector area and storage volume was examined for all systems, and various climatic conditions and their payback period was calculated. It was found that the collector inclination angle does not have a significant effect on system performance. Large collector areas have a diminishing effect on the system’s overall efficiency. The increase in storage volume has a detrimental effect for small daily load volumes, but a beneficial one when there is a large daily consumption. Solar energy was found to be truly competitive when the conventional fuel being substituted is electricity, and it should not replace diesel oil on pure economic grounds. Large daily load volumes and large collector areas are in general associated with shorter payback periods. Overall, the systems are oversized and are economically suitable for large daily hot water load volumes.

23 23 Methods Used The long-term performance of various systems was determined and the economic aspects of solar hot water production were investigated in this work. The effect of the collector inclination angle, collector area and storage volume was examined for all systems, and various climatic conditions and their payback period was calculated. It was found that the collector inclination angle does not have a significant effect on system performance. Large collector areas have a diminishing effect on the system’s overall efficiency. The increase in storage volume has a detrimental effect for small daily load volumes, but a beneficial one when there is a large daily consumption. Solar energy was found to be truly competitive when the conventional fuel being substituted is electricity, and it should not replace diesel oil on pure economic grounds. Large daily load volumes and large collector areas are in general associated with shorter payback periods. Overall, the systems are oversized and are economically suitable for large daily hot water load volumes.

24 24 Main Research Findings The long-term performance of various systems was determined and the economic aspects of solar hot water production were investigated in this work. The effect of the collector inclination angle, collector area and storage volume was examined for all systems, and various climatic conditions and their payback period was calculated. It was found that the collector inclination angle does not have a significant effect on system performance. Large collector areas have a diminishing effect on the system’s overall efficiency. The increase in storage volume has a detrimental effect for small daily load volumes, but a beneficial one when there is a large daily consumption. Solar energy was found to be truly competitive when the conventional fuel being substituted is electricity, and it should not replace diesel oil on pure economic grounds. Large daily load volumes and large collector areas are in general associated with shorter payback periods. Overall, the systems are oversized and are economically suitable for large daily hot water load volumes.

25 25 Conclusions The long-term performance of various systems was determined and the economic aspects of solar hot water production were investigated in this work. The effect of the collector inclination angle, collector area and storage volume was examined for all systems, and various climatic conditions and their payback period was calculated. It was found that the collector inclination angle does not have a significant effect on system performance. Large collector areas have a diminishing effect on the system’s overall efficiency. The increase in storage volume has a detrimental effect for small daily load volumes, but a beneficial one when there is a large daily consumption. Solar energy was found to be truly competitive when the conventional fuel being substituted is electricity, and it should not replace diesel oil on pure economic grounds. Large daily load volumes and large collector areas are in general associated with shorter payback periods. Overall, the systems are oversized and are economically suitable for large daily hot water load volumes.

26 26 Common Problems with Abstracts Too long Too much detail Too short Failure to include important information –Objective of research –Methodology

27 27 Difference Between Abstract and Introduction ABSTRACT –Main purpose of abstract is to summarize paper –Abstracts should be short – should only contain summary information INTRODUCTION –Main purpose of introduction is to present context or background for paper –Introductions are longer – often contain guides to reading paper

28 28 Example of Good Abstract We investigate the use of auditory feedback in pen gesture interfaces in a series of informal and formal experiments. Initial iterative exploration showed that gaining performance on learning advantage with auditory feedback was possible using absolute cues and state feedback after the gesture was produced and recognized….These rules may serve as a foundation for future research and development in pen-gesture interfaces with auditory feedback.

29 29 Example of Poor Abstract Embodiments are visual representations of people in groupware systems. Embodiments normally display only a few types of awareness information (such as presence, location, and movement); in contrast, information-rich embodiments attempt to maximize the number of information variables that are represented. ……. To investigate these issues, we tested people’s ability to remember and interpret fifteen information variables in two types of information-rich embodiments, outside of a groupware system. Our results provide strong evidence for the feasibility of these representations……. Initial results from a second study, in which information-rich embodiments were implemented in a real distributed groupware system, agree with these findings.

30 30 What is Topic of Paper? Embodiments are visual representations of people in groupware systems. Embodiments normally display only a few types of awareness information (such as presence, location, and movement); in contrast, information-rich embodiments attempt to maximize the number of information variables that are represented. –The initial sentence says nothing about what the paper is about. In fact, we never learn this from the abstract

31 31 What are the Conclusions of this Research? Our results provide strong evidence for the feasibility of these representations: we found that people were very successful in remembering variables, were accurate in determining the values encoded by each variable, and were able to successfully select embodiments that matched particular criteria. Initial results from a second study, in which information-rich embodiments were implemented in a real distributed groupware system, agree with these findings.

32 32 Problem: Find the Following in the Abstract Distributed –Topic of research –Research problem or main objective of paper –Methods used –Main research findings –Paper’s conclusions

33 33 Coffee Break!

34 34 Suggested Titles - Abstract 1 The impact of temporal cultural differences on global virtual software development team performance –Impacts of temporal cultural differences on global software development teams A model measuring distributed team effectiveness and satisfaction Temporal attitudes in distributed global software development teams The impact of temporal cultural differences on team performance in global software development Cultural differences in temporal perception among global software teams Big and tall?: Impacts of cultural time perceptions on global software development teams –What time is it?: Impacts of cultural time perceptions on global software development The impact of culturally based perceptions of time on global software development

35 35 Suggested Titles - Abstract 2 Modeling gaze and speech integration patterns to improve the performance of multimodal systems A model for integrating gaze and speech to improve performance of multimodal systems for individuals “Move it there”: Analysis of speech and gaze integration patterns for a simple moving task “Move it again Sam!”: Exploring the relationship between gaze and speech Modeling gaze and speech for moving objects Where is “it?” Event Synchronization in Gaze-Speech Input Systems For your eyes only: Predicting object’s positions visually For your eyes only: Predicting the movement of screen objects using speech and gaze patterns

36 36 Suggested Titles - Abstract 3 The testing and initial application of a measure for incidental information exchange within work groups Capturing incidental information exchange within work groups IIE: the quest to capture social exchanges level within a work group Incidental Information Exchange: Development of a measure to capture social exchanges in work groups Incidental Information Exchange as a measure of social exchanges in work groups Incidental Information Exchange: Measuring social exchanges in work groups Mutual knowledge as an incidental exchange in a work group: A quick method Incidental Information Exchange: A Measure for Assessing the Effect of Mediated Communication in Work Relationships

37 37 Overall Paper Organization Title -  Abstract -  Introduction Literature Review -------------------Stops Here--------------------- Methodology Results Discussion Conclusion

38 38 The Introduction Purpose of the introduction Common problems How to organize introductions Examples of good introductions Examples of bad introductions Problem: Identifying key elements of an introduction Problem: Fixing poor introductions

39 39 Purpose of the Introduction To situate the research in its research field To document why the research being presented is important To state the research problem the paper will solve To present the steps that will be taken to solve the problem

40 40 Why are Introductions Important Introductions create a cognitive structure for the reader which helps this person understand the research being presented –The cognitive structure is then used to store each new item of information presented in the paper Introductions let the reader know if the work presented is relevant – what they are looking for

41 41 What an Introduction Contains Context / background for the research Rationale for conducting the research A description of the problem being solved The steps the researcher will take to solve the problem

42 42 Setting the Context for the Research Design is a fundamental part of the product development process. Conceptually, design is viewed as a structured, multiphased, iterative process which transforms a need into a product. Because modern technology is complex, it is unusual for an individual to tackle a complex product design alone. Often, a small team is gathered at the initial stage of the design process. However, group work often introduces problems of organization, coordination and communication. Communication inadequacies existing among team members is a major impediment to the orderly and effective progression of the design process, especially when they are not meeting face-to-face.

43 43 Giving the Rationale for the Research Design is a fundamental part of the product development process. Conceptually, design is viewed as a structured, multiphased, iterative process which transforms a need into a product. Because modern technology is complex, it is unusual for an individual to tackle a complex product design alone. Often, a small team is gathered at the initial stage of the design process. However, group work often introduces problems of organization, coordination and communication. Communication inadequacies existing among team members is a major impediment to the orderly and effective progression of the design process, especially when they are not meeting face-to-face.

44 44 Giving a Description of the Problem to be Solved As more collaboration occurs across geographically distributed locations, applying technology to support synchronous remote collaboration is being explored (Tang and Minneman, 1990,1991; Minneman and Bly, 1990; Greenberg and Bohnet, 1991; Ishii, 1990). The emergence of computer supported synchronous shared drawing tools has made it possible for designers to collaborate on a design when they are not meeting face-to-face. These tools allow users to draw simultaneously on a shared workspace. Although these tools are exceedingly useful, we believe that the management of multiple inputs remains a significant issue in their design.

45 45 Laying out the Research Steps that will be Taken To understand the group idea management behaviors, we studied videotapes of drawing space activities collected by various researchers and reviewed findings on prior research in group design studies, group communication, engineering design studies, and social psychology. Findings from these studies provided valuable insights to shared drawing activities. These insights allowed us to define requirements of shared drawing tools to support the shared drawing activities. We illustrate the requirements in the design of a prototype, CaveDraw and evaluate its usability through user testing.

46 46 What an Introduction May Contain The scope of the problem – what the research will not address The limitations of the research The methods, models, approaches that will be taken in the research (assumptions)

47 47 Defining the Scope of the Problem Our approach differs in that our goal is to help users navigate to, not detect, recognition errors. This shift in focus is motivated by the following reasons: 1. data confirming that the error detection and navigation can consume as much as one-third of the time experienced users spend creating

48 48 Giving the Limitations of the Research The research described in this paper focuses on one cultural difference, temporal perceptions, and the effect this difference might have on the performance and satisfaction of software teams that are distributed across temporal distances. As such, this work needs to separate out the effects of cultural time perception from the effects of other variables such as time zone differences and general cultural differences.

49 49 Listing the Methods, Models, Approaches Our methodological approach combines requirements-driven iterative design with quantitative and qualitative evaluation of working prototypes. The structure of this article mirrors our method. Section 2 summarizes field studies showing the importance of social reminding and social data mining. It also shows the lack of support current communication applications provide for these tasks, and derives design requirements to support them.

50 50 Common Problems with Introductions Too much detail – introductions should never be longer than 1/10 of the research work Too much repetition – words, phrases, ideas, etc. Unclear problem definition Poor organization

51 51 How to Organize Introductions Set the context Define the research problem Propose a solution

52 52 Setting the Context By claiming centrality – why the field is important –AND / OR By moving from general to specific –AND / OR By reviewing relevant items in prior research

53 53 Example: Claiming Centrality Minimum safe low temperatures (above freezing) and high humidity control are the most important tools for extending shelf life in vegetables." (Barth et al., 1993)(Barth et al., 1993) “most important tools” indicates that these two factors are crucial

54 54 Example: Moving from Central to Specific In recent years, there has been an increased awareness of the potential impact of pollutants such as heavy metals. Moreover, the traditional methods for treating aqueous streams containing metal contaminants are expensive and can have inadequate facilities (1). This is particularly true in developing countries. This has led to the use of alternative technologies. The use of biological materials is one such technology which has received considerable attention. (Ho et al., 1996)(Ho et al., 1996)

55 55 Example: Moving from Central to Specific The first sentence: impact of heavy metals (general).

56 56 Example: Moving from Central to Specific The first sentence: impact of heavy metals (general). The second sentence: expense and shortcomings of methods of removing heavy metals (less general).

57 57 Example: Moving from Central to Specific The first sentence: impact of heavy metals (general). The second sentence: expense and shortcomings of methods of removing heavy metals (less general). The third sentence: expense and shortcomings of methods of removing heavy metals in developing countries (more specific).

58 58 Example: Moving from Central to Specific The fourth sentence: alternative technologies to overcome expense and shortcomings of methods of removing heavy metals (yet more specific).

59 59 Example: Moving from Central to Specific The fourth sentence: alternative technologies to overcome expense and shortcomings of methods of removing heavy metals (yet more specific). The fifth sentence: biological materials as an example of alternative technologies to overcome the expense and shortcomings of methods of removing heavy metals (very specific).

60 60 Example: Reviewing Relevant Items Numerous studies on the utilization of plant proteins as a partial or complete replacement for fish meal in diets have been conducted using various freshwater and marines fishes (Lovell, 1987; Tacon et al., 1983; Murai et al., 1989a; Cowey et al., 1974). (Takii et al., 1989)(Takii et al., 1989)

61 61 How to Organize Introductions Set the context -  Define the research problem Propose a solution

62 62 Defining the Research Problem By indicating a research gap –OR By raising a research question –OR By indicating that the work is part of a previously defined line of inquiry –OR By making a counter claim – disagreeing with what has been already published

63 63 Example: Indicating a Research Gap Numerous studies on the utilization of plant proteins as a partial or complete replacement for fish meal in diets have been conducted using various freshwater and marines fishes (Lovell, 1987; Tacon et al., 1983; Murai et al., 1989a; Cowey et al., 1974). However, very little is known about the feasibility of using soybean meal as a dietary protein source in practical feeds for yellowtail Seriola quinqueradiata. (Takii et al., 1989)(Takii et al., 1989)

64 64 Example: Raising a Research Question The question we address here is how technological change occurs when it is the overall system that needs to be changed. In particular, how can we begin and sustain a technological transition away from hydrocarbon based technologies? (Street and Miles, 1996)(Street and Miles, 1996)

65 65 Example: Extending Prior Research Taking all these elements and their possible variations into account is often far too complex and tedious for determining efficient gas development patterns with simple back of the envelope calculations. In their survey of these elements, Julius and Mashayeki [8] present a detailed analysis of these different interactions. They suggest that these be taken into account through gas planning models constructed in the same spirit as the planning models developed in the power generation sector. In this paper, we present a gas planning model that fulfils some of the specifications established in Julius and Mashayeki [8]. (Boucher and Smeers, 1996)(Boucher and Smeers, 1996)

66 66 Example: Making a Counterclaim Evaluating the cost effectiveness of distributed generation is a crucial resource planning issue. Many have assessed cost effectiveness by dividing the utility system into many parts and estimating distributed generation's value to each part. When this is done, total value can be composed of ten or more individual components (Hoff and Shugar, 1995), substation transformer (El-Gassier et al., 1993), transmission system, generation system, voltage support (Hoff et al., 1994) reliability, energy savings, electrical loss savings (Hoff and Shugar, 1995) minimum load savings, modularity and flexibility (Morris et al., 1993) and financial risk reduction values (Awerbuch, 1994).

67 67 Example: Making a Counterclaim Although impressive, this list of value components suggests that determining the value of distributed generation requires a team of experts assembled from each department within the utility. This paper describes a simplified evaluation process based on the observation that distributed generation is of value because it reduces variable costs or defers capacity investments. (Hoff et al., 1996) (Hoff et al., 1996)

68 68 How to Organize Introductions Set the context -  Define the research problem -  Propose a solution

69 69 Proposing a Solution By outlining the purpose of the work –AND / OR By describing present research and methods that apply –AND By describing principal findings, results –AND By indicating the structure of the research

70 70 Example: Outlining the Purpose of the Work This work aims to establish the extent of interaction of alginate with calcium and aluminium ions with respect to the influence of algal exudates have on the removal of humic substances by aluminium coagulation during drinking water treatment. (Gregor et al., 1996)(Gregor et al., 1996)

71 71 Example: Describing Present Research This paper examines the use of peat for the removal of two metals, copper and nickel, from both mono-solute and bi- solute solutions. In particular, it reports the effect that a competing ion has on the rates of removal and examines the mechanisms which may affect the uptake of minerals. (Ho et al., 1996)(Ho et al., 1996)

72 72 Example: Describing Principal Findings Different operating modes of the MESFET mixers, gate mixers, drain mixers, and resistive mixers were investigated in this work and the results proved that good conversion characteristics could be achieved.(Angelov, 1991)(Angelov, 1991)

73 73 Example: Indicating the Structure of the Research This paper is organized as follows. Alternative representations of demand and supply are discussed in sections 2 and 3 respectively. The model is described in section 4. Section 5 presents an application of the tool to a gas reserves development timing problem in Indonesia. The full set of equations is given in the appendix and is referred to throughout the text. (Boucher and Smeers, 1996) (Boucher and Smeers, 1996)

74 74 Proposing a Solution (additional items) By indicating directions for further research –AND By stating the expected benefits of the current research

75 75 Example: Directions for Further Research This paper takes a first step in this direction by laying out the rationale for incorporating feedback and feedforward mechanisms in decision support for dynamic tasks such as software project management (Sengupta and Abdel-Hamid, 1993). (Sengupta and Abdel-Hamid, 1993)

76 76 Example: Benefits of Current Research The paper further suggests a multidisciplinary management approach to effect a favorable outcome for the whole fishing community (Lim et al., 1995).(Lim et al., 1995)

77 77 Problem: Find the Following in the Introductions Context of the problem addressed Rationale for research Problem statement Steps that will be taken to solve problem Limitations Assumptions

78 78 Overall Paper Organization Title -  Abstract -  Introduction -  Literature Review -----------Stops Here---------- Methodology Results Discussion Conclusion

79 79 Literature Review Why write a literature review? Common mistakes in literature reviews Questions a literature review should answer Example of a poor literature review Example of a good literature review Frequently asked questions

80 80 Why Write a Literature Review? To evaluate prior work that has been done in your paper’s research area –To show relationships between different existing work –To show relationship between existing work and your work To set the context for your research

81 81 Common Mistakes in Literature Reviews Literature review becomes a summary of existing literature –No relationships are built –No reasons are given for including a citation Article is cited but its content and reason for being cited are not given

82 82 Common Mistakes in Literature Reviews Review is exhaustive citing both bad and good work with no distinctions being made Review has too many general references Review has too few specific references

83 83 Questions a Lit Review Answers 1.What do we already know in the immediate area concerned? 2.What are the characteristics of the key concepts or the main factors or variables? 3.What are the relationships between these key concepts, factors or variables?

84 84 Questions a Lit Review Answers 4.What are the existing theories? 5.Where are the inconsistencies or other shortcomings in our knowledge and understanding? 6.What views need to be (further) tested?

85 85 Questions a Lit Review Answers 7.What evidence is lacking, inconclusive, contradictory or too limited? 8.Why study (further) the research problem? 9.What contribution can the present study be expected to make? 10.What research designs or methods seem unsatisfactory?

86 86 Example: A Poor Literature Review Until recently many researchers have shown interest in the field of coastal erosion and the resulting beach profiles. They have carried out numerous laboratory experiments and field observations to illuminate the darkness of this field. Their findings and suggestions are reviewed here.

87 87 Example: A Poor Literature Review JACHOWSKI (1964) developed a model investigation conducted on the interlocking precast concrete block seawall. After a result of a survey of damages caused by the severe storm at the coast of USA, a new and especially shaped concrete block was developed for use in shore protection. This block was designed to be used in a revetment type seawall that would be both durable and economical as well as reduce wave run-up and overtopping, and scour at its base or toe. It was proved that effective shore protection could be designed utilizing these units.

88 88 Example: A Poor Literature Review HOM-MA and HORIKAWA (1964) studied waves forces acting on the seawall which was located inside the surf zone. On the basis of the experimental results conducted to measure waves forces against a vertical wall, the authors proposed an empirical formula of wave pressure distribution on a seawall. The computed results obtained by using the above formula were compared well with the field data of wave pressure on a vertical wall.

89 89 Example: A Poor Literature Review SELEZOV and ZHELEZNYAK (1965) conducted experiments on scour of sea bottom in front of harbor seawalls, basing on the theoretical investigation of solitary wave interaction with a vertical wall using Boussinesque type equation. It showed that the numerical results were in reasonable agreement with laboratory experimental data. and so on.

90 90 Why is the Previous Literature Review Poor? It is only a summary of prior research It does not show the relationships between each of the pieces of research cited It does not show the relationship between prior research and the current research being done It is simply a chronological organization of prior work

91 91 Example: A Good Literature Review On the optimal container size in automated warehousesY. Roll, M.J. Rosenblatt and D. Kadosh, Proceedings of the Ninth ICPR Automated storage and retrieval systems (AS/RS) are being introduced into the industry and warehousing at an increasing rate. Forecasts indicate that this trend will continue for the foreseeable future (see [1]). Research in the area of AS/RS has followed several avenues.

92 92 Example: A Good Literature Review Early work by Hausman, Schwarz and Graves [6, 7] was concerned with storage assignment and interleaving policies, based on turnover rates of the various items. Elsayed [3] and Elsayed and Stern [4] compared algorithms for handling orders in AR/RS. Additional work by Karasawa et al. [9], Azadivar [2] and Parry et al. [11] deals with the design of an AS/RS and the determination of its throughput by simulation and optimization techniques.

93 93 Example: A Good Literature Review Several researchers addressed the problem of the optimal handling unit (pallet or container) size, to be used in material handling and warehousing systems. Steudell [13], Tanchoco and Agee[14], Tanchoco et al. [15] and Grasso and Tanchoco [5] studied various aspects of this subject. The last two references incorporate the size of the pallet, or unit load, in evaluation of the optimal lot sizes for multi-inventory systems with limited storage space.

94 94 Example: A Good Literature Review In a report on a specific case, Normandin [10] has demonstrated that using the 'best-size' container can result in considerable savings. A simulation model combining container size and warehouse capacity considerations, in an AS/RS environment, was developed by Kadosh [8]. The general results, reflecting the stochastic nature of the flow of goods, are similar to those reported by Rosenblatt and Roll [12]. Nevertheless, container size was found to affect strongly overall warehousing costs.

95 95 Example: A Good Literature Review In this paper, we present an analytical framework for approximating the optimal size of a warehouse container. The approximation is based on series of generalizations and specific assumptions. However, these are valid for a wide range of real life situations. The underlying assumptions of the model are presented in the following section.

96 96 Why is This Example a Good Lit Review? The writers have: –grouped similar information: "Steudell [13], Tanchoco and Agee[14], Tanchoco et al. [15] and Grasso and Tanchoco [5] studied various aspects of this subject.“ –shown the relationship between the work of different researchers, showing similarities/differences: "The general results, reflecting the stochastic nature of the flow of goods, are similar to those reported by Rosenblatt and Roll [12]."

97 97 Why is This Example a Good Lit Review? The writers have: –indicated the position of the work in the research area history: "Early work by Hausman, Schwarz and Graves [6, 7]... " –moved from a general discussion of the research in AS/RS to the more specific area (optimal container size) that they themselves are researching i.e. they relate previous work to their own to define it, justify it and explain it.

98 98 Suggestions for Writing a Literature Review Collect your references –Take notes of key points in article / book that may be useful or relevant Put references in appropriate format Write a research argument for your work Cut and paste references in their appropriate places in the research argument Write review

99 99 Frequently Asked Questions Do I have to cite all the relevant literature? There is so much!

100 100 Frequently Asked Questions Do I have to cite all the relevant literature? There is so much! No, you only need to be exhaustive on that literature which is specific to your research problem. More general literature should be used to set the context of the research and need not be exhaustive

101 101 Frequently Asked Questions What if I disagree with the research in an article?

102 102 Frequently Asked Questions What if I disagree with the research in an article? If the article is relevant to your research, you should write your disagreement and say why you are pursuing a different approach

103 103 Frequently Asked Questions What if a reviewer tells me to add a reference that I think is irrelevant?

104 104 Frequently Asked Questions What if a reviewer tells me to add a reference that I think is irrelevant? For a journal paper, you can disagree with the reviewer in your letter to the editor as long as you document why you disagree.

105 105 Frequently Asked Questions What if a reviewer tells me to add a reference that I think is irrelevant? For a conference paper, it is often prudent to include the cite – probably the reviewer’s paper.

106 106 Frequently Asked Questions I see people cite statistics books and other common references. Do I need to do that?

107 107 Frequently Asked Questions I see people cite statistics books and other common references. Do I need to do that? If you are using unusual methods, yes. If you are using methods common to your field, no. You can assume that your readers will have this common background.

108 108 Frequently Asked Questions What format should I use for my reference section?.

109 109 Frequently Asked Questions What format should I use for my reference section? Use the format that is recommended by the journal or conference you are writing your paper for.

110 110 Frequently Asked Questions Can I use web pages as references?

111 111 Frequently Asked Questions Can I use web pages as references? Yes, but it is not recommended if you can find other sources. –Web pages are not trusted, reviewed sources –Web pages are not archival and therefore may disappear even before your research is published

112 112 Lunch Break!

113 113 Overall Paper Organization Title -  Abstract -  Introduction -  Literature Review -  -------------Stops Here------------ Methodology Results Discussion Conclusion

114 114 Overview of Presentation Overall Paper Organization -  General Principles of Readability Writing Good Paragraphs -------------Stops Here-------------- Creating Flow Between Paragraphs Editing

115 115 General Principles of Readability Put the information that is new within a framework of what is already known by the reader

116 116 Negative Example Modern cryptanalysis has attracted some of the most capable mathematical minds. In recent years the growing prospect that postal and diplomatic communication will soon be replaced by other forms of communication has furnished increased incentive for mathematicians and engineers to invent an unbreakable cipher. Messages will be able to be telephoned, delivered, and quickly typed on the other end. But unbreakable codes will be needed to protect senders against snoopers.

117 117 Revised Version Modern cryptanalysis has attracted some of the most capable mathematical minds. In recent years the growing prospect that postal and diplomatic communication will soon be replaced by other forms of electronic communication has furnished increased incentive for mathematicians and engineers to invent an unbreakable cipher. Messages will be able Electronic devices will permit messages to be telephoned, delivered, and quickly typed on the other end. But unbreakable codes will be needed to protect senders against electronic snoopers.

118 118 How did the Revision Help? The word “electronic” tied each sentence to the next one The word “electronic” narrowed the possible meanings – from messages to electronic messages Often repetition of a noun or adjective is all that is needed to tell the reader you are still writing about the same thing

119 119 General Principles of Readability Establish topic and purpose at the very start –Do this in the abstract –Repeat it in the introduction –Write the topic and purpose of each section and subsection of the paper –Write a topic and purpose for each paragraph

120 120 General Principles of Readability Use key words prominently –Steffi gave me a paper on Outsourcing –The authors used the word “ONGOINGNESS” throughout –“ONGOINGNESS” is not a real word in English –It’s meaning is clear –something continues to happen –The authors created a keyword for their paper –The advantages they gained were A single keyword tied the work together The keyword stood out because it was NOT English

121 121 General Principles of Readability Explain important concepts when writing for non-specialist readers –Ask yourself who your readers will be? –Then ask if your readers will know a word or a concept? –If not, explain the concept before using it in your writing

122 122 Methods for Explaining Unfamiliar Concepts Visual Aids –Never underestimate the advantages of a good visual aid Examples –Of what the concept is –Of what the concept is not Analogies Definitions Paraphrases

123 123 Example The example in the next set of slides uses a paragraph from a paper on food technology. The paper explains the Remrak Coefficient The analogies, definitions and paraphrases are pointed out in this paper

124 124 The Remrak Coefficient In the production of powdered detergents, spray drying is the technique used to evaporate the solvent from the liquid reaction mixture and physically form the finished powder product. In spray drying, the liquid is sprayed into the top of a tall tower and allowed to fall freely to the bottom of the tower, where it is removed as a dry powder. The solvent evaporates during the course of the fall.

125 125 Analogy Particles dried in this fashion have an unusual shape, like that of a saddle (or a Pringle’s potato chip), and consequently fall through the air in an unusual manner.

126 126 Paraphrase Particles dried in this fashion have an unusual shape, like that of a saddle (or a Pringle’s potato chip), and consequently fall through the air in an unusual manner.

127 127 Definition The shape of the helical path is described by the Remrak coefficient, which is the ratio of the diameter of the helix to the height required for one passage of the particle around the perimeter of the helix.

128 128 Paraphrase The coefficient, which is a function of drying conditions, is sought to be maximized, so that the length of flight of the particle is made much greater than the actual height of the spray-drying tower.

129 129 General Principles of Readability Structure text to emphasize important information –Hierarchical structure From general to detail –List structure Especially when giving instructions –Chronological structure When listing events, e.g., chemical reactions

130 130 General Principles of Readability Emphasize important information by sentence structures –Use simple, short declarative sentences for main points Our visualization is purposefully simple. Our ultimate goal is to determine what makes visualizations difficult. –Short sentences are strong

131 131 A Comparison A sentence that is written in its shortest form provides a stronger presentation. Short, concise and to-the-point sentences are very strong Short sentences are strong.

132 132 General Principles of Readability Use Meta-Statements - liberally –Meta statements are statements at a level above what is actively taking place –For example, The rest of this paragraph will discuss why the erosion happened as quickly as it did. This paper is organized as follows. First, we present….

133 133 General Principles of Readability Use the Active Voice wherever possible –Passive The experiment was conducted in a sound-proofed room –Active We ran the experiment in a sound-proofed room –However, do not use “I” I ran the experiment in a sound-proofed room Some people add their “cat” as an author

134 134 General Principles of Readability Field-test your writing –Select representative users –Select native English speakers Construct well-designed paragraphs –Each paragraph should have one purpose –Each paragraph should have a clear structure –Each paragraph should have a natural connection to its predecessor and follower

135 135 Overview of Presentation Overall Paper Organization -  General Principles of Readability -  Writing Good Paragraphs -----------Stops Here--------- Creating Flow Between Paragraphs Editing

136 136 Writing Paragraphs The Topic Statement Organization of Sentences Writing Sentences Creating Flow Between Sentences Word Choice

137 137 The Topic Statement Each paragraph needs a reason for existence, i.e., a purpose This purpose is stated in the topic statement –First sentence in paragraph –Possibly followed by a 2 nd topic sentence if topic is complicated

138 138 The Topic Statement Contains one or more key words related to topic May indicate how the topic will be developed, e.g., “we develop our case for x by cause and effect analysis.” Can be 3 rd or 4 th sentence if initial sentences used to set context Short simple statements best

139 139 Examples of a Good Topic Statement Some limitations of the activity data provide important context for this study. First interaction with the computer is reported down to the minute – the system reports if the user has been active at any time during a minute…..

140 140 Examples of a Good Topic Statement Unlike gasohol-powered cars, the fuel cell alternative is virtually pollution- free. A methanol fuel cell system works through chemical reactions that leave the air clean. A fuel processor breaks the methanol down into carbon dioxide and….

141 141 Examples of a Poor Topic Statement Though billions of dollars were lost during the Internet bubble, a substantial fraction of the investment made during this period still has social value. Much has been made of the miles laid of “dark fiber.” But it’s just as cheap to lay 128 strands of fiber as a single strand, and the marginal cost of the excess investment was likely rather low.

142 142 Example of a Poor Topic Statement Topic statement does not describe topic of paragraph -Paragraph does not list the social value obtained from the internet investments but rather critiques the argument that dark fiber is an advantage -Very disconcerting to read topic statement and connect ideas

143 143 Rewrite of Poor Topic Statement Although some argue that internet investment provided social value despite the billions lost during the Internet bubble, this is not completely clear. Much has been made of the miles laid of “dark fiber.” But it’s just as cheap to lay 128 strands of fiber as a single strand, and the marginal cost of the excess investment was likely rather low.

144 144 Example of a Poor Topic Statement Utility costs for the argon process are 75% greater than for the proposed hydrogen process. Initial capital cost is $5.4 million, roughly three times the hydrogen process cost. However annual income from the sale of argon, increased…..

145 145 Example of a Poor Topic Statement Paragraph goes on to argue that the hydrogen process is the better investment That is certainly not what the first sentence says –Gives reader wrong interpretation –May or may not be revised with reading

146 146 Rewrite of Poor Topic Statement The argon process is clearly a better investment than the hydrogen process. Although it has higher utility costs (by 75%) and a higher initial capital cost (by 300%), it generates annual income-from the sale of argon, from increased ….

147 147 Problem: Find the Best Topic Statement For the paragraphs distributed, three topic sentences are suggested Select the one that best meets the criteria of a good topic sentence

148 148 Organization of Paragraph Sentences Topic Statement Possible Sub-Topic Statement Supporting Statements –Follow naturally from the topic statement –Either elaborate or support topic statement

149 149 Supporting Statement Forms Chronological Description Cause-and-Effect Analysis Comparison and Contrast Listing General-to-Particular Details Combination of above patterns

150 150 Chronological Description Time frame used to tie sentences together Types of Phrasings Used –Time adverbs In 1990 last week at 20:15 first, second, finally, soon

151 151 Chronological Description Types of Phrasings Used –Verb tense sequencing Originally, we wanted, More recently, we have… Now we are trying to In the future, the goal will be to…

152 152 Chronological Description Types of Phrasings Used –Grammatical parallelism Mount the grating near the end Locate a rider on the sale Adjust the grating Read the distances from…

153 153 Example: Chronological Description Paragraph Total U.S. research and development spending is projected to reach a current-dollar level of $66.7 billion in 1981. This is an increase of 105 over the 1980 projected level and nearly double the amount spent on these activities in 1975.

154 154 Example: Poor Chronological Description Paragraph Pictorial images of dog guides date back to ancient civilizations. Specific details of usage in those times are mostly unknown; systematic training was not known to be performed until after the World War I. Dog guides were trained after WWI in France and Germany for blinded war veterans. In 1929 the first U.S. dog guide school, The Seeing Eye, was founded in Nashville Tennessee. As of 1994, at least ten dog guide schools are known to be in operation (Blasch, Wiener & Welsh, 1997, p260, p570). continued

155 155 Example: Poor Chronological Description Paragraph As recently as 1997, Blasch, Wiener & Welsh cites an older study finding only 1-2% adoption of dog guides by blind users (references a 1960 study by Finestone, Luoff and Whiteman with no subsequent up-to-date information available) [Blasch, Wiener & Welsh p270]. Robin Leonard (2005) states that 7,000 Americans use Guide dogs (p28). Leonard also references the 1994-95 National Health Interview Study on Disability which indicates that 1.3 million Americans are legally blind, suggesting an estimate of <1% for guide Dog usage in the U.S.

156 156 What is this Paragraph About? Is it a history of seeing-eye dogs? Is it a claim that seeing-eye dogs are not used by many blind people Is it about the growth of systematic training of guide dogs? –What is the topic sentence? –How is the topic sentence developed?

157 157 Cause-and-Effect Analysis Common in scientific and technical writing Used to: –Make a logical argument –Explain a process –Explain why something happened Best to explain causes BEFORE effects

158 158 Cause-and-Effect Analysis Characteristic Signals of Cause-and- Effect Analysis –Connective words and phrases Therefore Thus Consequently As a result So Accordingly

159 159 Cause-and-Effect Analysis Characteristic Signals of Cause-and- Effect Analysis –Subordinate clauses Since Because (of) Due to

160 160 Cause-and-Effect Analysis Characteristic Signals of Cause-and- Effect Analysis –Causative verbs Causes Results in Gives rise to Affects Requires Produces

161 161 Cause-and-Effect Analysis Characteristic Signals of Cause-and- Effect Analysis –Conditional constructions When Where Given If, then –Chronological sequencing also used

162 162 Example: Cause-and-Effect Analysis Paragraph One of the most important properties of a liquid is that its surface behaves like an elastic covering that is continually trying to decrease its area. A result of this tendency for the surface to contract is the formation of the liquids into droplets as spherical as possible considering the constraint of the ever-present gravity force.

163 163 Example: Cause-and-Effect Analysis Paragraph Surface tension arises because the elastic attractive forces between molecules inside a liquid are symmetrical; molecules situated near the surface are attracted from the inside but not the outside. The surface molecules experience a net inward force; and consequently, moving a surface molecule out of the surface requires energy. The energy E required to remove all surface molecules out of the range of forces of the remaining liquid is proportional to the surface area; therefore

164 164 Example: Cause-and- Effect Analysis Keywords in paragraph also link sentences –Surface…tension molecules …. –The surface molecule…requires energy –The energy E required…is proportional to… –the proportionality factor…

165 165 Example: Poor Cause and Effect Paragraph Since the goal of the study was to evaluate how effective Nuketris was at engaging blind players, the task was unstructured. The challenge in designing an appropriate task structure for a game is that failure is part of the design and appropriate and desirable to a point. However, when attempting to study game play, challenge, skill development, etc., a player must play the game long enough to acquire enough skills to advance in the game.

166 166 What is this Paragraph About? It’s topic sentence says that the game tasks are unstructured because this is the only way we can measure if the game is engaging The rest of the paragraph explains how failure is a part of the design –It uses a cause and effect analysis to show this but this does not really carry on the main theme of the topic sentence – that is, how unstructured tasks make the game engaging

167 167 How Can this Paragraph be Fixed? A key problem is the lack of the linking sentence that says that the failure element of the game is what is meant by the task being unstructured –This link can be built through use of keywords –This link can also be built by a connecting sentence

168 168 The Fixed Paragraph Since the goal of the study was to evaluate how effective Nuketris was at engaging blind players, the task was unstructured. This unstructured- ness is reflected in the chance for a player to fail in the game. Such failure is a desirable and natural part of the game design. This leads to a tricky situation. The player must succeed enough at the game to acquire game skills and thus be study-able. However, the player must fail enough at the game so that the game is challenging and thus, engaging.

169 169 Comparison and Contrast One or more items are compared Common in business, e.g, cost/benefit analyses Avoid jumping from one alternative to another –Describe properties of A first –Then describe properties of B

170 170 Comparison and Contrast Characteristic features of comparison and contrast paragraphs –Connective words and phrases However On the other hand Conversely Similarly Likewise In contrast to

171 171 Comparison and Contrast Characteristic features of comparison and contrast paragraphs –Comparative constructions More than -er, than Less than As….as Rather than Is different from

172 172 Comparison and Contrast Characteristic features of comparison and contrast paragraphs –Verb tense differences Program X will be easy to implement whereas Program Y would entail a number of complications

173 173 Comparison and Contrast Characteristic features of comparison and contrast paragraphs –Subordinate clauses While Whereas But

174 174 Comparison and Contrast Characteristic features of comparison and contrast paragraphs –Parallelism Model X is reliable and efficient, whereas Model Y is unreliable and relatively inefficient

175 175 Comparison and Contrast Don’t be neutral in your comparisons NOT –Item A weighs 3.2 kilos, and item B weighs 2.7 kilos BUT RATHER –Item A weighs 3.2 kilos, whereas item B weighs 2.7 kilos

176 176 Example: Comparison and Contrast Paragraph A one-million-fold increase in speed characterizes the development of machine computation over the past thirty years. The increase results from improvements in computer hardware. In the 1940’s ENIAC, an early electronic computer, filled a room with its banks of vacuum tubes and miles of wiring. Today one can hold in the hand a computing device costing about $200 that is twenty times faster than ENIAC, has more components and a larger memory, is thousands of times more reliable, costs 1/10,000 the price, and consumes power of a light bulb rather than that of a locomotive.

177 177 Example: Poor Comparison and Contrast Paragraph To start, Blount and Janick discuss that time has value because it is a perishable, non-renewable resource and that as people we vary in how we are aware of the passage of time. Some people can more accurately estimate times passage and those people tend to exhibit traits associated with Type A personalities, such things as adherence to schedules, lists and deadlines, but in general we note the passage of time by clocks, calendars and the sun. continued

178 178 Example: Poor Comparison and Contrast Paragraph But this passage of time and its value is usually organized around social conventions such as birthdays, holidays and within the organizations, the work week, fiscal years, school years, etc. called markers or reference points (Blount et al. 2001). They argue that a person sets when they want or expect an outcome to happen based on three factors; (1) their own temporal preferences, (their time urgency and need for closure), (2) non-work influences, including cultural and family demands, and (3) the surrounding work context. These three determine how and individual will allocate their time.

179 179 What is this Paragraph About? Is it about the value of time? –If so, what is the difference evidence given for this value Is it about how people note time passage? –If so, what are the comparisons for this? Keywords suggest a comparison and contrast but of what? –What is the topic sentence? –How is the topic sentence developed?

180 180 Listing Scientific and technical writing frequently uses lists –Equipment used in an experiment May be formatted or unformatted (in text) Should have parallel grammatical form Require an information lead-in Should be from most to least important item

181 181 Listing Non-parallel list –The principal processes are; Coagulation and flocculation Removing the solids Nitrogen-removal Disinfection This list is very hard to comprehend

182 182 Listing List converted to parallel structure –The principal processes are: Coagulation and flocculation Removal of solids Removal of nitrogen Disinfection All of the items are now noun forms

183 183 Example: Listing Paragraph In addition to coal and nuclear energy, a wide variety of other power sources are frequently discussed in the news and in scientific literature, unfortunately, most are not yet ready for practical use. Geothermal energy is one of the more practical of proposed new sources. It is already in use in Italy, Iceland, and northern California but is not yet meeting all expectations for it. Solar energy seems an elegant idea because it I inexhaustible and adds no net heat or carbon dioxide to the global environment. reason.

184 184 Example: Listing Paragraph Yet present methods of exploiting it make solar energy hopelessly inadequate as a major power source in the next few decades. Sophisticated windmills to generate electricity are also under study by some. Biomass conversion is also getting under way. Some of these sources of energy, which we now generally regard as esoteric, may well prove themselves and make a substantial contribution over the long run if their costs can be brought within

185 185 Listing Note how each new element of energy is written in the same parallel form. –Geothermal energy…. –Solar energy…. –Sophisticated windmills…. –Biomass conversions…..

186 186 Example: Poor Listing Paragraph Technology developments in many areas provide the basis for significant improvement opportunities. These include : (1) inexpensive, highly capable mobile computing devices; (2) network bandwidth; (3) the availability of networks; (4) the affordability of networks; (5) location sensing and location based services; (6) Graphical Information Systems (GIS) databases; (6) the fusion of disparate location reporting systems; (7) high quality text to speech rendering systems and (8) obstacle detection.

187 187 The List in this Paragraph is NOT Parallel inexpensive, highly capable mobile computing devices network bandwidth the availability of networks  network availability the affordability of networks  network affordability location sensing and location based services Graphical Information Systems (GIS) Databases the fusion of disparate location reporting systems high quality text to speech rendering systems obstacle detection  obstacle detection systems

188 188 General-to-Particular Details Probably one of the most common types of scientific paragraphs Each sentence focuses on a smaller frame of reference than the prior one

189 189 Example: General-to- Particular Details Paragraph To effectively manage time, people select and utilize a large variety of different tools. Among those tools, paper-based calendars are the basic time management tools and have been regarded as an extremely valuable and important aid in people’s professional lives (Kincaid, Dupont and Kaye 1985). Because of increasingly complex schedules, more and more professionals are adopting electronic time management tools to support their professional lives. A recent study (Wu 2004) found that knowledge workers prefer electronic time management tools because of key features that make them more efficient to use.. continued

190 190 Example: General-to- Particular Details Paragraph These include (1) the ability to quickly search for items, (2) the ability to get better overviews of time usage, especially by switching between multiple possible views or by using a larger display, (3) the ability to share scheduling information either through “beaming” on a mobile device or through a public online calendar, (4) the ability to make changes to a complex temporal structure by changing one instantiation of that structure and (5) the ability to create more complex temporal structures by selecting from a set of pre-defined parameters (e.g. repeat until ). continued

191 191 Example: General-to- Particular Details Paragraph Those users, in the study, who did not use electronic calendars complained mostly about the visibility of the small screen size of the mobile devices, the lack of portability of the desktop devices and the difficulty with data entry either because of the interface design or the input tools available (tiny keyboard on mobile devices

192 192 Dissection of Paragraph People select many tools to manage time –Paper based calendars common –Electronic calendars becoming common Lots of reasons for using electronic calendars Reasons for not using electronic calendars

193 193 Overview of Presentation Overall Paper Organization -  General Principles of Readability -  Writing Good Paragraphs -  -----------Stops Here----------- Creating Flow Between Paragraphs Editing

194 194 Thank you for your Kind Attention Questions?


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