1. Dumb Sh*t Callers Do Or, Things that Make My Job Harder By Sally Gladhand Receptionist, XYZ Company Myrna: Here’s my parody slideshow for the Xmas party Delete this note before showing. --Sally

2. Say “Someone called me from there” and they are returning the call – but they don’t know who called them. Well how the hell should I know? If I were psychic, I’d be picking lottery numbers.

3. Duh? Ask “Is this Greene’s Shoe Shop?” or whatever, after I’ve answered the phone with the company name.

4. Try to sell something useless to a business! “Hello there! Can I interest you in a lifetime subscription to Model Train Nerds Quarterly?”

5. Tell me they will hold...and then hang up. Bzzzzzz….

6. Get mad when someone doesn’t pick up a direct line and then snap at me.

7. Repeatedly call on a cell phone that won’t transmit instead of pulling over and finding a land line. “Hello? Hello? Can you hear me now?”

8. If the person they are calling is on the line, they expect me to cut in instead of leaving a voice mail. (The ONLY person who can do that is the big boss. Not you, Dirk Drake. Shut up. No, I mean it. Shut up.)

9. Try to fax to the phone number 75 times. “Good morning, XYZ Company.” BEEEEEP!!!

10. Tell me an entire 10-minute saga instead of saying what the problem/request is. Blah blah blah blah… *ZZZZZ*

11. Call on their lunch break and ask for someone RIGHT AWAY…then get mad when the person they’re asking for is also at lunch.

12. And last but not least… Call the wrong number and then hang up without saying anything.

13. Remember, I can ruin your day too. And you better believe I will enjoy every second. Mr. Bobberson: Just kidding, boss! I love my job! Merry Christmas! Copyright 2006 by Elizabeth West. No reproduction is permitted without written permission of the author.