Presentation is loading. Please wait.

Presentation is loading. Please wait.

1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/19971 LESSON 6 The Teenagers Language Matches the Language of the People in the Family and the Immediate Community.

Similar presentations


Presentation on theme: "1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/19971 LESSON 6 The Teenagers Language Matches the Language of the People in the Family and the Immediate Community."— Presentation transcript:

1 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/19971 LESSON 6 The Teenagers Language Matches the Language of the People in the Family and the Immediate Community Presented by THE NATURAL SYSTEMS INSTITUTE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

2 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/19972 Table of Contents of Lesson 6

3 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/19973 The Teens Language Matches the Language of Those With Whom They Interact The language of the child and teen is shaped initially and primarily by the language culture of its family and neighborhood. Both vocabulary and style of conversing are shaped. It particularly develops through the interactions with immediate family and household members. As the child moves out into its immediate neighborhood and eventually the wider community, those communities begin to lend their influence to shaping the childs language. Eventually the school and the teens peer group from school play an increasingly prominent role in shaping the teens language patterns. As a result of differences in these successive influences, conflicts arise between the teen and the divergent language patterns of successive levels of influence. The the teen attempts to adapt to these divergent patterns. This results in distinctive, setting specific, language content and style. Some teens do not accommodate to some divergent patterns and suffer varying degrees of rejection wherever they do not accommodate. Later in life, as young adults, when moving into the adult world of work, that new world also begins to shape language patterns in directions that may conflict with the earlier patterns that had been congruent with family, peer groups, and neighborhoods. The young adults who make the transition to this new world may suffer varying degrees of rejection by former groups and family. Upon entering into a long term intimate relationship, partners either shape each others language patterns toward convergence or the relationship suffers. The strength or rigidity of ones language pattern may limit intimate, work, or other social relationship possibilities. Family, peers, school, work, and intimate relations all involve settings and roles that require the accommodation and adaptation that induce differentiation of the youths or persons language. Successfully adopted language patterns may also serve to steer entry into new adult informal or formal social roles. Consequently, coaching teens with respect to their developing language patterns is critical for their eventual adjustment to and success in life.

4 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/19974 TEENS LANGUAGE AND MATURITY COACHES RESPONSE TO IT In institution and outside institution; at home with parents; in public with parents; with extended family; with best same gender friend; with best opposite gender friend; with clique; at social occasions; in school with peers; in school with teachers; Questioning parents knowledge, basis for prohibitions. Questioning reason for requirements, chores. Countering parents assumptions. Comparing to everybody and invalidating parents denial of permission. Attacking word use Asking why; questioning of what use is that to me; how will I ever use that; why should I have to learn that; Ill never use that so why should I have to study it; who cares; look at them, they dont so why should I or they do so why shouldnt I; You know what I am going to be [do] after I graduate? I wish I could; someday Im gonna be; Ill show them; I will never give them the satisfaction; they dont have the faintest idea who I am what I am like, want; they dont care what I want; its always got to there way. I just wish I could get away; Im always the one that catches the blame; accused; they jump on; she-he [sibling] gets away with anything. They want me to be; they expect me to be; they say I have to: grades or activities or sports. They say I have to go to. Why dont they leave me alone? I wish they would stop worrying about me. My parents [dad, mom] drive me crazy; are so unfair; dont understand.

5 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/19975 Who do they think they are; dont listen to them; I dont care what they think; say; how they feel; whether they know or not; who gives a damn. They get away with it; no one ever makes them; they are only concerned with or care about; You dont trust me; dont you trust me; why should I believe you, trust you, do what you say; you dont have the right to tell me; They dont so why should I; they do so why shouldnt I; you dont so why should I; so what; whatever!; why should I have to; What they dont know wont hurt them; whos gonna know; and dont you dare tell. I wont say anything; I wont tell; Who do they think they are; look who is talking; what will everyone think; if you.... then Ill be ruined; You always; you never; Attacking knowledge of stars, heroes, songs, movies, games, sports Questioning courage encouraging daring Counter-criticism with parents Language interaction with types of therapists and therapies.

6 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/19976 Attacking cloths brands and cloths that are not in. Checking on similarities of preferences in music heroes, etc. Checking out opinions of same and opposite sex peers. Checking who likes whom, seeking validation of whom one likes and whether it is returned, reciprocated Way opposite gender is referred to: chicks, babes, dolls----------------------- Slang and curse word use Thats cool; big deal; who says; you better watch out, watch what you say; no sweat; I can dig it; and you know; Sharing incidents at school and on dates. Checking opinions of teachers, coaches, and leaders. Ego comparisons and contests, status adjustments to avoid ridicule or being shot down. Engaging in ego repair. Tearing down to build up self. Teasing and putting each other down. Setting each other up. Ridiculing goofs. Vying for leadership or just to be noticed. Attacking identities. Evaluating skills and abilities.

7 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/19977 Demonstrating knowledge, skill, independence. Let me help – no I can do it myself. Checking out knowledge of proper or cool behavior. Evaluating each others behavior in situations. Checking in-group status and who in which group and who is in with whom. Expressions of extreme emotions, high and low. Anger, resentment, guilt, shame, embarrassment, humiliation, blame, projecting blame or shifting blame, arguing with word games, Secrets, complaining of injustice, accusing, Longing, Response to commands and prohibitions; response to advice from parents and authorities or staff; Bragging about sex and about who is interested in oneself. Suggestive, seductive comments and innuendoes.

8 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/19978 Language and Personality Combine and Become Patterns through Scenarios with Parents and Children Later Seek, Like Two Matching Pieces of a Puzzle, Matching Scenarios in Relationships You have to be XYZ because I want you to be XYZ. I want to be what you want me to be. You just say the word and thats what Ill be. Im just here to please you. So, what do you feel you would really be happy with? It is up to you. Well, I feel like I would really like Z. So, thats what its going to be! By the way, whats your ticket for the day? You were acting like you liked and felt X! Why would you do that? Dont you have any regard for what I feel or what I want? Im sorry, I didnt mean for it to seem like I felt or liked that. Really. It was quite different. I really feel and want the same thing you do. Please dont be hurt, OK! Now I feel awful. Ill make it up to you. The language we use with each other matches and molds each others personalities. The two, language and personality, are inseparably bound and expressed in scenarios we play out with each other. In the beginning, the language parents use with children calls for, shapes, a matching, corresponding, response that becomes a pattern, a habit perpetuated and extended to other relationships. Language patterns between people that dont fit, like the puzzles pieces on the left, eventually result in separation. We are drawn to people whose language patterns fit our patterns. People stay in relationships that destroy them because they do not know how to talk differently, therefore think differently, therefore see, feel, and be different. People want to be different without knowing that it requires learning, really learning in practice, to talk differently. Breaking away from the language match, the Complementarity of language patterns, is extremely difficult and requires CONSCIOUS effort. Three matches of puzzle pieces: 1. 2. 3. PARENTS CHILDREN

9 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/19979 Examples of How Complementary Family Role Patterns Transfer Equipotential Roles to Peer Interactions The Parent Is The Child Becomes The Parent Is Child Is Peer Is Child Is Needy, Seducer Naïve, Helpless, Dependent Needy, Seducer Naïve, Helpless, Dependent Needy, Seducer Natural, Relaxed, Open, Befriender Idealistic Overachiever, Ambitious, Striver, One- up Artist Natural, Relaxed, Open, Befriender Idealistic Overachiever, Ambitious, Striver, One- up Artist Natural, Relaxed, Open, Befriender Idealistic Overachiever, Ambitious, Striver, One- up Artist Natural, Relaxed, Open, Befriender Exploiter, Con-artist, Set-up-artist Submissive, Compliant, Victim Exploiter, Con- artist, Set-up-artist The Child Becomes The Parent Is The Child Becomes The Parent Is The Child Becomes The Parent Is The Child Becomes Peer Is Child Is Peer Is Child Is Peer Is Exploiter, Con-artist, Set-up-artist Submissive, Compliant, Victim One Piece of the Puzzle, The Child, Seeks Its Matching Piece, The Peer

10 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199710 Individual Personality-Language Variations and Matching Patterns: Who Tries to or Is Forced to Form a Communication Dyad with Whom? 1.Naive, Helpless, Dependent 2.Natural, Relaxed, Open, Befriender 3.Pollyanna, Optimistic, Expecting Help, gifts, and love 4.Needy, Seducer 5.Idealistic Over Achiever, Ambitious, Striver, One- up Artist 6.Planner, Organizer, Mediator 7.Anxious, Shy, Withdrawn, Under-Achiever, Self- Effacer 8.Angry, Impulsive, Hyper-sensitive 9.Aggressive, Oppositional, Defiant, Bully 10.Dominant, Manipulative, Demanding 11.Depressed, Pessimist, Unmotivated, Withdrawer 12.Submissive, Compliant, Victim 13.Clown, Put-down Artist, Pest 14.Helper, Nurturer, Comforter, Confidant 15.Exploiter, Con-artist, Set-up-artist 1.Naive, Helpless, Dependent 2. Natural, Relaxed, Open, Befriender 3.Pollyanna, Optimistic, Expecting Help, gifts, and love 4.Needy, Seducer 5.Idealistic Over Achiever, Ambitious, Striver, One-up Artist 6.Planner, Organizer, Mediator 7.Anxious, Shy, Withdrawn, Under-Achiever, Self-Effacer 8.Angry, Impulsive, Hyper-sensitive 9.Aggressive, Oppositional, Defiant, Bully 10.Dominant, Manipulative, Demanding 11.Depressed, Pessimist, Unmotivated, Withdrawer 12.Submissive, Compliant, Victim 13.Clown, Put-down Artist, Pest 14.Helper, Nurturer, Comforter, Confidant 15.Exploiter, Con-artist, Set-up-artist Read through the list below and, as you do, try to imagine each kind of person. Have you known anyone like that? As these types on the right appear on the left, whom do you think they are most likely to try to communicate with? Whom in the list on the right do you think they might likely be forced to communicate with? What causes these pairs match up? What do you think the outcome of their communicating with each other will be?

11 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199711 Word Play and Word Ploys Common To All Teens, Especially For Ages Thirteen To Seventeen

12 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199712 Statement: Straight or Univocal Meaning: There is no LILT in the voice. Deprecate Praise Moderate degrees of LILT or Equivocal Meaning indicators indicate that the stated extreme is really intended to imply neutral or average - or the stated neutral or average is really intended to imply extreme. Statement: Opposite or Equivocal Meaning: Deprecate Praise Words uttered with a LILT to imply insinuation and innuendo during personal attributions are typically intended to mean their opposite. The Art of Verbal Play or Ploys With Respect to Personal Attributions Becomes Prominent in Mid-teens Praise becomes deprecation or neutrality Deprecation becomes praise or neutrality Neutral Backhanded compliment. Backhanded put down.

13 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199713 The Art of Verbal Play or Ploys With Respect to Cogency for Status Ascendance Becomes Prominent in Mid-teens

14 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199714

15 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199715 The Art of Verbal Play or Ploys With Respect to Cogency for Status Ascendance Becomes Prominent in Mid-teens

16 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199716

17 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199717 : Developmental Language Trends From Early Childhood To Late Adolescence Looking Backward and Then Forward Child Is Father to the Man With Expanding Zones of Unsupervised Exploration, Testing, Experimenting, Examining, Proving, and Mastering >> Language Gradually Changes Over the Years: 1.Me 2.Want 3.More 4.No 5.I want 6.Can I do 7.Can I have, I dont want to 8.Me too 9.I didnt do it [denial] He did it [deception] 10.Please 11.Why 12.Where is 13.How do you 14.Why not 15.Why cant I 16.Sorry 17.Innocently saying and doing things that are improper and distasteful to adults and later deliberately 18.Im scared, sad, happy 19.I like, I want because. I dont like, dont want because. 20.I am [with various elementary attributes] 21.You are [with various elementary attributes] 22.When – yesterday - tomorrow 23.Lets play, you better do it my way. You better not or else [elementary consequence] 24.Lets play like- first parental figures then popular heroes 25.You better not, its against the rules 26.Why, why is or does, why not 27.Look at this, what is it called, why 28.Saying and doing things that are improper in public that embarrass parents 29.in order to 30. get what they want -manipulating 31.Later saying and doing the same thing in order to get what they want -manipulating 32.Testing physical skill – let me try or let me do it myself Take the language samples below and use them as examples of the way language develops from around age one through four. Given the opportunity, observe children in various settings such as: small, crowded dwellings that house families with many children; children growing up with minimal supervision and guidance; children growing up with most of their time on the streets; crowded child care facilities with minimal supervision; children in homes with extreme poverty, severe problems and intense conflicts; children in homes where English or Standard English is not spoken. Compare the language of these children with that of children in child care facilities with maximum supervision by well-educated and well-trained staff; children in homes with optimal living conditions, optimal living space, and an absence of domestic conflict. What do you notice about trends in development of sophistication in grammar; of rules of politeness in conversing; of sophistication and content of their vocabulary; of style of conversing such as deception and manipulation; of complexity of expressions; of topics addressed in speech. What role do you think the structures of life conditions play in shaping the differences you observe in language patterns? What structures would create optimal conditions?

18 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199718 Using The Same Format That Was Used On The Preceding Slide, Make The Same Observations And Comparisons For Children Aged Five To Nine. 1.Venturing beyond parents established borders: Can I go; Is it OK if I go; Im going.. 2.I made this 3.With parents: I can do that 4.I can do that myself; no, let me do it myself 5.I cant 6.I dont want to 7.Examining own and others bodies: let me see, look 8.Enacting parents role and speech in play 9.Playing roles, as if, like significant figures: 10.Ill be ______and you be _______ 11.Youre supposed to say: their actions and some dialogue 12.Thats bad 13.Youre bad 14.I hate you 15.You stink 16.Thats not fair 17.Lets play (a simple game); no, you have to do it this way 18.Give me or Ill tell 19.Now you have to be punished 20.Threatening punishment, threatening to hurt or to get some 21.in trouble, to tell their secrets 22.Im better and bigger and stronger 23.I bet I can 24.With peers: I bet you cant 25.I want to be 26.I know how 27.Let me do it 28.Let me do it myself 29.Why does he get to and I dont 30.When can I? 31.Youre not supposed to, thats the rule 32.What if 33.Did you know? I bet you dont know 34.Thats gross, ugly, yuck, what does he do

19 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199719 Using The Same Format That Was Used On The Preceding Slide, Make The Same Observations And Comparisons For Children Aged Ten To Twelve. 1.Showing or doing the yucky things to gross out someone 2.and laugh at them 3.Why did, does, he do that? Poking fun at someones 4. weakness, handicap, failure, etc. 5.Denying to escape blame 6.Rationalizing 7.Blaming others, accusing others 8.Telling others they cant or cant have or cant go or cant do 9.Ordering, saying you better 10.Telling jokes that have no punch line 11.Making up stories and pretending they are true 12.Saying things and acting in ways that make no sense 13.Saying or doing things in mockery 14.Talking gibberish 15.Doing unseemly things at inappropriate times with adult 16.company, then with peers 17.You cant or youre not supposed to because: giving a reason 18.Playing word games to escape blame, get their way, get out of 19.having to do things 20.Finding what embarrasses others, then using it to embarrass them 21.Wearing iconoclastic clothes, comparing possessions: no, 22.I want to wear, I want to wear it this 23.way 24.Comparing possessions and parents possessions 25.Comparing skills 26.Ridiculing 27.Refusing to do home responsibilities 28.Taking what does not belong to them 29.Fudging on what they have done or accomplished 30.Secretly, with peers and sometimes inciting peers, exhibiting 31.defiance and pretending immunity from adult rules 32.and authority in negative activities 33.Venturing and sometimes inciting peers into new territory 34.without parents permission or knowledge

20 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199720 Using The Same Format That Was Used On The Preceding Slide, Make The Same Observations And Comparisons For Youth Aged Thirteen To Fifteen. 1.Pretending they have liberties or prerogatives, habits, 2.or possessions to mislead others into thinking they are more adult 3.Openly flaunting adult rules and displaying adult negative habits 4.and daring parents to try to restrict or restrain them 5.Threatening parents with consequences, often self destructive, 6.as psychological blackmail 7.Simulating adult conversation and tone 8.Claiming to accept outlandish beliefs to be different 9.Playing subtle psychological games to make others look bad 10.and self look good to gain status, friendship, favors, or as a means to get 11.revenge 12.Comparing subtleties of manners, knowledge, social skill and finesse 13.Discounting others for lack of same 14.Implying their superior sophistication, using sophisticated words or 15.concepts 16.beyond their comprehension to impress or embarrass others 17.Debating moral, political, religious, etc., Issues and insisting on the 18.correctness 19.of their 20.position and incorrectness of others positions 21.Pretending their demands are the fashion, norm, majority opinion or way, 22.or that no one does or agrees with parents, depending upon what supports 23.their desire, petition, or opinion 24.Using supernatural explanations as justifications and to make sense of 25.their 26.incomprehensible world and depending upon supernatural occult predictions 27.to guide the uncertain future 28.Making absolute, unequivocal statements and attacking and judging 29.others 30.for not being relative or flexible or tolerant enough 31.Say all or no, everyone or no one to win argument to get their way 32.and switching to reverse when opposing parents depending upon 33.which suits their need and claiming parents do this too 34.Questioning authority, the establishment

21 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199721 Using The Same Format That Was Used On The Preceding Slide, Make The Same Observations And Comparisons For Youth Aged Sixteen To Nineteen. 1.Imagining changing the world to fit the way they wish it were 2.Imagining changing the system to justify their deficiencies or childish and irrational desires 3.Unwillingness, refusing, to assume adult responsibility 4.Projecting an unrealistic vision of their grand future 5.Invoking philosophical arguments to bolster their position 6.Using or exaggerating probability of occurrence to justify irrational fears or high risk requests 7.Using ad hominem arguments, exaggerating the extremity and logical absurdity of the others position, discounting the source 8.Appealing to some other inviolate authority 9.Using past inequities or indiscretions of others against them in order to gain concessions or leniency as a matter of evening things out or as moral blackmail 10.Applying very strict and fine interpretations of rules and morals to judging parents and beating them at their own game 11.Extrapolating from a single incident to a general condition to prove why they should get to or get out of or gain permission 12.Reducing the others argument to an absurd caricature so as to win an argument and get ones way. 13.Many of the above result from authoritarian or arbitrary parenting, 14.Allowing the child to engage in manipulation, 15.Overprotecting, Catastrophizing, 16.Being overly solicitous, over indulgent, overly discounting, infantilizing, 17.Being overly rigid or punitive, being overly permissive, imposing adult mentality, knowledge and judgment, on child prematurely, being overly analytical, critical or disputatious, as opposed to teaching and allowing child to increasingly use their own judgment and cope with consequences objectively without blame or guilt. What do adolescents use to assume the appearance of adulthood? What is their ticket to a semblance of adulthood with adult prerogatives?

22 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199722 Teen Language Patterns 1.Who do they think they are; dont listen to them; 2.I dont care what they think; say; how they feel; whether they know or not; who gives a damn. 3.They get away with it; no one ever makes them; they are only concerned with or care about; 4.You dont trust me; dont you trust me; why should I believe you, trust you, do what you say; you dont have the right to tell me; 5.They dont so why should I; they do so why shouldnt I; you dont so why should I; so what; whatever!; why should I have to; 6.What they dont know wont hurt them; whos gonna know; and dont you dare tell. I wont say anything; I wont tell; 7.Who do they think they are; look who is talking; what will everyone think; if you.... then Ill be ruined; 8.You always; you never; 9.Attacking knowledge of stars, heroes, songs, movies, games, sports 10.Questioning courage encouraging daring 11.Counter-criticism with parents 12.Language interaction with types of therapists and therapies.

23 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199723 Teen Language Patterns Attacking cloths brands and cloths that are not in. Checking on similarities of preferences in music heroes, etc. Checking out opinions of same and opposite sex peers. Checking who likes whom, seeking validation of whom one likes and whether it is returned, reciprocated Way opposite gender is referred to: chicks, babes, dolls----------------------- Slang and curse word use Thats cool; big deal; who says; you better watch out, watch what you say; no sweat; I can dig it; and you know; Sharing incidents at school and on dates. Checking opinions of teachers, coaches, and leaders. Ego comparisons and contests, status adjustments to avoid ridicule or being shot down. Engaging in ego repair. Tearing down to build up self. Teasing and putting each other down. Setting each other up. Ridiculing goofs. Vying for leadership or just to be noticed. Attacking identities. Evaluating skills and abilities.

24 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199724 Teen Language Patterns Demonstrating knowledge, skill, independence. Let me help – no I can do it myself. Demonstrating knowledge of the teenage slang and terms du jour. Demonstrating knowledge of distinct peer-group-specific swear words. Talk involving checking out knowledge of proper or cool behavior. Evaluating each others behavior in situations. Checking in-group status and who is in which group and who is in with whom. Secrets, complaining of injustice, accusing, Longing, Response to commands and prohibitions; response to advice from parents and authorities or staff; Bragging about sex and about who is interested in oneself. Suggestive, seductive comments and innuendoes.

25 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199725 Teen Language Patterns with Respect to Emotions Expressions of extreme emotions, high and low. Anger, resentment, guilt, shame, embarrassment, humiliation, blame, projecting blame or shifting blame, arguing with word games,

26 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199726 Young Adult Language Patterns the Transition from Teenage to Adult

27 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199727 Changing Trends in Content Areas and Styles of Conversing With Peers versus Adults From Middle Through Late Adolescence 1.Expressing general desires and dealing with others desires. 2.Romance expressions and seduction and describing romance encounters. 3.Declaring, confirming, and developing consensual interests, and preferences. 4.Securing, validating, and conferring affiliations. 5.Language of personal goal setting, planning, and goals. 6.Language of strategies for: 1.helping and being helped 2.dealing with conflict 3.complying and securing compliance. 7.Declaring and exercising conscience. 8.Defining self estimation and esteem for self and other. 9.Language adapting to time, schedules, and temporality. 10.Expressing own and relating to others feelings and emotions. 11.Attributing traits and characteristics to self and other. 12. Defining self-concept and identity of self and others. 13.Declaring, confirming, and developing consensual beliefs. 14. Seeking and declaring causal explanations. 15.Seeking, declaring, disputing, and corroborating knowledge. 1.Some teens are extremely vocal about their desires. Other teens have difficulty talking about any of their desires. 2.Some teens freely use romantic or seductive language with the opposite sex. Some are awkward and some simply unable to express themselves romantically or seductively. 3.Almost all teens talk to a great extent about the preferences in products, entertainment, and recreation. 4.In and out groups 5.What am I going to do with my like? 6.Let me do it for you. Leave me alone I can do it myself. Hey, Ill do it but only if you… Come on, dont be chicken. 7.I know I shouldnt but.. Youre bad. Youre a hypocrite. 1.A 2.b Individual Language PatternsComparing with Age-Group Peers Comparing to Adult Reference Groups

28 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199728 Settings, Roles, Situations, and Occasions Where Language Coaching May be Appropriate and Even Necessary 1.In institution and outside institution; at home with parents; in public with parents; with extended family; with best same gender friend; with best opposite gender friend; with clique; at social occasions; in school with peers; in school with teachers; 2.With parents questioning their knowledge, basis for prohibitions. Questioning reason for requirements, chores. Countering parents assumptions. Comparing to everybody and invalidating parents denial of permission. 3.At parties attacking word use and in class. 4.In Class with teachers and with Parents discussing homework: Asking why; questioning of what use is that to me; how will I ever use that; why should I have to learn that; Ill never use that so why should I have to study it; who cares; look at them, they dont so why should I or they do so why shouldnt I; 5.With Peers you know what I am going to be [do] after I graduate? I wish I could; someday Im gonna be; Ill show them; I will never give them the satisfaction; they dont have the faintest idea who I am what I am like, want; they dont care what I want; its always got to there way. 6.With best friends I just wish I could get away; 7.Together with parents and siblings Im always the one that catches the blame; accused; they jump on; she-he [sibling] gets away with anything. 8.With counselors or adult confidants They want me to be; they expect me to be; they say I have to: grades or activities or sports. They say I have to go to. Why dont they leave me alone? I wish they would stop worrying about me. My parents [dad, mom] drive me crazy; are so unfair; dont understand.

29 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199729 Coach and Teen Developing New Matching Patterns

30 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199730 Coach Facilitating Teen in Developing New Matching Patterns With Other Teens

31 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199731 Coach Facilitating Teen in Developing New Matching Patterns With Family Members

32 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199732

33 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199733 The Art of Verbal Play or Ploys Involving Insider-Information for Securing Inclusion Becomes Prominent in Mid-teens

34 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199734 The Art of Verbal Play or Ploys Involving Non-Conformity and Defiance Becomes Prominent in Mid-teens

35 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199735 Summary

36 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199736 EXCERSIZES TO FACILITATE COACHING IN THE RECOGNITION AND CHANGE OF TEENAGERS LANGUAGE PATTERNS

37 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199737 Movies to Be Used with Lesson 5

38 1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/199738 Movie Plot Summaries


Download ppt "1/7/2014Copyright by Edwin L. Young, PhD, 7/19971 LESSON 6 The Teenagers Language Matches the Language of the People in the Family and the Immediate Community."

Similar presentations


Ads by Google