Presentation on theme: "What is Dating Violence?"— Presentation transcript:
1 What is Dating Violence? PowerPoint Slideshow #3What is Dating Violence?A workshop for individuals withdisabilities and low English literacy
2 What are the Ground Rules? Please turn off your cell-phone.No one has to talk if they do not want to.Be respectful. No laughing or put downs.One person talks at a time.No interruptions.Are there any other ground rules that you would like to have here today?
3 1. What healthy, unhealthy and abusive relationships are Unit ?What is Dating Violence?What You Will Learn1. What healthy, unhealthy and abusive relationships are2. What the different kinds of abuse are3. What the cycle of violence is4. Why people might be abusive
4 Unhealthy Relationship Healthy, Unhealthy and Abusive RelationshipsAny relationship you have, be it with your family, friends, support staff, boy-friend or girl-friend can be good or bad.This work-book talks about dating relationships that you have with your boy-friend or girl-friend.Relationships can be healthy, unhealthy, or abusive.Our goal is to always have a healthy relationship. Like healthy eating, a healthy relationship is good for you.Healthy RelationshipBoth partners have equal power and respect each other.Unhealthy RelationshipA relationship that is not abusive, but they have red flags. They make you feel uncomfortable.Abusive RelationshipA relationship where one person holds all the power and control over the other person.
5 Partner Power Respect Another word for boy-friend or girl-friend. A person’s ability to have a say over what happens to them.RespectTo show care or concern for others.A healthy relationship is, a healthy relationship isn’tTake a look at what words can be used to describe a healthy relationship.
6 Healthy Relationships A healthy relationship makes you feel good.A healthy relationship:Has respectHas honesty and trustIs fair and equalHas good communicationIn an unhealthy relationship, some or all of these things could be missing.When these things are missing the relationship may feel unfair or make you feel unhappy or unsafe.A healthy relationship does not have any physical, emotional or sexual abuse.Healthy relationships are built on respect.
7 Communication Communication is a big part of a healthy relationships. In “What is a relationship?” we learned that communication can be broken down into 3 styles:PassiveAggressiveAssertiveCommunication style fill in the blanksFill in the blanks to match the communication style with its description.Communication style role playTake a look at the different scenarios and figure out how you can respond in the 3 communication styles.
8 Unhealthy Relationships Unhealthy relationships are relationships that are no longer healthy.Both partners are not equal in an unhealthy relationship, one person has more power than the other.In an unhealthy relationship you feel uncomfortable.Signs of unhealthy relationships are:Not communicatingNot being supportiveIntimidationJealousyDisagreements that turn into fightsWatch the “Power” video.
9 Abusive Relationships When there is no respect, a relationship can change from a healthy relationship to an unhealthy relationship to an abusive relationship.In an abusive relationship one partner tries to have power and control over the other person.Here are some “red flags” that some-thing could be wrong in a relationship:ControlDependenceDis-respectAggressionIntimidationViolence
10 When you rely on some-one else for help and support. Dating ViolenceDating violence is a kind of domestic violence.Domestic ViolenceWhen some-one in a relationship tries to have power and control over the other person bybeing abusive.Domestic violence is the definition for any kind of violence that happens in a relationship that has intimacy, dependency or trust.IntimacyA strong emotional connection. Intimacy can be in a romantic or other close relationship.DependencyWhen you rely on some-one else for helpand support.
11 Domestic violence could happen between a couple who is dating, a parent and a child or a caregiver and an elderly person.Dating violence is between two people who are in, or were in, a dating relationship.It does not matter if the two people are the same sex or opposite sexes.If the people in the relationship are dating then it could be dating violence.Relationships in the mediaTake a look the table on page 50. Use this table to look at relationships we see in the media and compare them to the 3 types of relationships.
12 Abuse Statistics Domestic and dating violence can happen to any-one. To show how common domestic violence is here are some statistics:1 in 5 teens who have been in a serious relationship said that they have been hit, slapped or pushed by a boy-friend or girl-friend.1 in 4 woman who have been in a relationship say they have done more sexually than they wanted to because they were being pressured.51% of women with disabilities are physically abused in their lifetime.People with disabilities are about 2x more likely to report abuse than some-one with-out a disability.60% of women with a disability experience some kind of abuse.
13 Abuse that happens between 2 people who are dating. Types of AbuseDating violence is a kind of domestic violence.Dating ViolenceAbuse that happens between 2 people whoare dating.The 2 people could be “just dating”, call them-selves “a couple” or even be “broken up” when the abuse happens.There are many different kinds of abuse and not all them leave visible marks.Here are some different kinds of abuse:Emotional AbusePhysical AbuseSexual AbuseMedication AbuseFinancial AbuseCyber Abuse
14 Emotional AbuseEmotional AbuseWhen some-one tries to get power and control by attacking some-one’s self-esteem and self-worth.There are lots of different kinds of emotional abuse.Emotional abuse can look like:Verbal AbuseIsolationIntimidationCan you give some examples of these types of emotional abuse?Emotional abuse can hurt just as much as, or more than, physical or sexual abuse.Even if emotional abuse does not turn into physical abuse it is still is not good and will make you feel bad about your-self and unhappy.Telling RumoursHumiliation
15 Both men and women can be physically abusive in a relationship. Physical AbusePhysical AbuseWhen some-one uses violence or says they will use violence to try to control, intimidate or punish some-one.Can you think of some examples of physical abuse?Both men and women can be physically abusive in a relationship.Physical abuse happens because the abuser is trying to gain power and control over the other person.The abuser thinks that it is ok to act this way and that what they are doing is ok.
16 When some-one uses sex as a weapon to gain power over another person. Sexual AbuseSexual AbuseWhen some-one uses sex as a weapon to gain power over another person.Sexual abuse is:Being violent and forcing some-one to have sexSexual activity with-out consentSexual comments or touchingIntimidating some-one into sexSexual abuse can happen in a relationship.You must always consent to sexual activity.Consent is very important. It means that both people give permission and want the sexual activity to happen.Sexual abuse is not about sex. It is a way to get power and control over some-one by using sex as a weapon.
17 When medication is used as a way to try and control some-one. Medication AbuseMedication AbuseWhen medication is used as a way to try and control some-one.Medication abuse can be:If they use medication to cause pain or to affect your abilitiesIf they do give not enough medication or none at allIf they do not fill a prescription for youIf they steal your medicationWhat can you do?If you think that you could be at risk of medication abuse you can do these things to try and help protect your-self:Make sure some-one out-side of the relationship that you trust knows about your medical condition and medications.Ask them to visit from time to time to check in on you.
18 When money is used as a way to try to control some-one. Financial AbuseFinancial AbuseWhen money is used as a way to try tocontrol some-one.Financial Abuse can be:Forcing you to give over your moneyMaking sure you do not have access to financial resourcesMaking decisions about money without asking youBuilding up debt on your credit cardWhat can you do?Try to be aware of what is going on with your finances so you can tell if some-thing is wrongMake sure that money being spent can be explainedIf you are worried about what is happening with your money you could get a trustee to help keep your money safe
19 Cyber AbuseCyber AbuseWhen you harass, stalk or abuse some-one by using a cell phone, s or social networking sites.Cyber Abuse can be:If they send s or text messages to harass, threaten or emotionally abuse youThey check in all the time by calling or texting youIf they tell mean gossip or rumours about you by text message or using a social networking site
20 Cyber AbuseYou need to think really hard before you send your own s or text messages because once they are sent you can-not control what happens to them.You also need to be careful if you are online dating.You may think that it is safer to date online because you are not meeting some-one face-to-face, but there are still ways that people can take advantage of you.Do not send money to some-one you have only met online and do not give out your addressWhen you meet some-one for the first time meet them in a public placeDo not give out personal info too soonAlways listen to your gut, if it seems too good to be true, it usually is!Talk about Cyber Abuse
21 The Cycle of ViolenceIn an abusive relationship there is a pattern with the abuse that is called the Cycle of Violence.The cycle has 4 stages:Tension StageViolent EpisodeHoneymoon StageCalm StageCycle of Violence fill-in-the blanksIn your workbook on page 63 match the stage in the cycle of violence to the diagram
22 The Tension StageIn the tension stage there are a lot of insults, put downs, accusations and trying to control the other’s behaviour.There may also be physical abuse.The person being abused tries to calm their partner and is often “walking on eggshells” trying to keep them happy.As the tension gets worse the person being abused feels like they cannot do any-thing to stop things from getting worse.
23 The Violent Episode The tension explodes into violence. Picture shaking up a pop bottle.It is a myth that the violent episode is cause by jealousy, anger, fear or losing control.The abuser uses violence to gain power and control in the relationship.
24 The Honeymoon StageAfter the violence the abuser says they are sorry and promises not to do it again.They might give gifts, pretend the violence was not a big deal, did not happen or even blame the victim.Most of the time they are not doing these things because they are sorry, but instead to avoid the consequences of their abusive behaviour and getting caught.The abuser usually tries to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.They might say some-thing like “If you were not so use-less I would not have to hit you.”
25 The Calm StageThe abusive partner will stop trying to be nice and things return to “normal”.The abusive partner may act like the abuse never happened.They may have kept some of their promises but the tension stage starts again, and the cycle continues.If the cycle continues after a while the calm and honey-moon stages will become much shorter and may even stop completely.Stage of the cycle of violenceWatch the “Cycle of Violence” video. Review and talk about the information from this section.
26 Why are Some People Abusive? People are abusive because they choose to be.They want to have power and control over some-one else.There is no 1 answer to why some-one might be abusive.There are lots of reasons out there that try to explain why some-one might be abusive.None of them can help you point out who will or will not be abusive in a relationship.No matter what excuses they make, violence is still their choice, and it is NEVER ok.Education about healthy relationships can help people under-stand what is and is not ok in a relationship.
27 The Dating Violence Awareness Program was created by Vecova Research Services. This video was made possible with funding from the TELUS community fund and the Canadian Women’s Foundation.