Presentation on theme: "The Emotions Involved in Choosing Long-Term Care Dr. Patrick O'Shea."— Presentation transcript:
The Emotions Involved in Choosing Long-Term Care Dr. Patrick O'Shea
Last year Living Longer, Living Better A walk through the health care system
This year How to know when the time is right to accept Long-Term Care Emotions you will experience when making that decision
"Long-Term Care" Nursing Home, Assisted Living, Personal Care Home Anywhere outside your home
My own experiences plus a book: "Living Well in a Nursing Home" by Lynn Nickerson and Xenia Rosen
WHY DO WE DREAD THE THOUGHT? old memories of "poor houses" poor people, ones with no families most people looked after at home by family
"Good" sons and daughters wouldn't put their parents away
Nursing Homes are institutions easy to criticize not all equal
Why greater need for Long-Term Care? societal changes
People Live Longer In 1900 the life expectancy was 47 Now it is late 80's
Less Deaths from Pneumonia, Fractured Hips, Heart Disease
Families more mobile, not all relatives in same village not as many children
Women's roles have changed not as available for caregiver role
Expectations are that our children will most likely NOT look after us in our own homes
If you live long enough, almost all of us will need Long-Term Care
TWO OVERALL ASSUMPTIONS 1) You are responsible for your OWN level of happiness You are not responsible for the happiness of your spouse, parents or children and they are not responsible for your happiness
2) In your relationships with your loved ones, you would prefer to be a "Love-Giver" and not just a "Care-Giver"
"Care-Giver" - attends to a person's physical and comfort needs "Love-Giver" - attends to emotional and relationship needs
Roles are not mutually exclusive - it can be an act of love to be a care-giver
Danger in exhausting oneself being a "care-giver" and have nothing left for the important task of "love-giving"
Sometimes better to delegate care-giver tasks and use your energy for the love-giver role
DECISION TO ACCEPT LONG-TERM CARE not a lot of planning - sudden change prefer not to think of need we plan for the other significant changes - wedding, buying a house, changing jobs
Change can be stressful How much stress depends on: expect or surprise viewed as "good" or "bad" how much control we have over change how much support we have from others
Shakespeare: "There is no thing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so"
A lot of stress from change is in our minds Positive outlook can help Is the glass half-empty or half-full?
Long-Term Care is big business expansion in last 40 years many new models, more choices
For many, accepting long-term care may be the BEST choice
CAN YOU STAY AT HOME? Depends on: medical condition strain on people at home need for community economics
Medical Condition Diagnosis? Around the clock care? Equipment needed?
Strain on people spouse, children - what support do you have? energy level of people at home
Need for Community Amount of social support each person needs is variable Participation in community gives sense of belonging, importance, meaning No one person can fulfill all social needs of another Many situations at home are akin to solitary confinement
Economics services not covered by MCP or insurance home care workers around the clock? - $16/hr = $384 a day or $2,688 per week nursing home = $3,500 a month
EMOTIONS feelings can be difficult to understand
CONFUSION about what to do - many conflicting options and opinion
DESPAIR if no matter what you do, someone will be unhappy no obvious "best" choice many need to get counseling with someone outside the situation to avoid depression
HELPLESSNESS if offer of help is rejected; common in dementia issues
HURT from rejection of help, lack of appreciation
WORRY can make you depressed, diminish your energy many need counseling, exercise, meditation
ANGER is common - at God, at doctors, at patient, at family needs to be handled carefully - can be destructive