Presentation is loading. Please wait.

Presentation is loading. Please wait.

I Never Knew I Had a Choice - 7th ed.

Similar presentations

Presentation on theme: "I Never Knew I Had a Choice - 7th ed."— Presentation transcript:

1 I Never Knew I Had a Choice - 7th ed.
by Gerald Corey & Marianne Schneider Corey Wadsworth A division of Thomson Learning, Inc.

2 Invitation to Personal Learning and Growth
THE SERENITY PRAYER “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” What are your personal reactions to the Serenity Prayer? I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 1 (1)

3 Balancing Self-Esteem and Other-Esteem
We are social beings and many of our relationships are affected by relationships with others Self-esteem and other-esteem should not be thought of as polar opposites Other-esteem involves respect, acceptance, caring, valuing, and promoting of others Strive to see the world anew by reexamining your present beliefs and values I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 1 (2)

4 Humanistic Approach to Human Growth
Self-actualization is the core of a humanistic view of people Self-actualization is a process you work toward, rather than a final destination at which you arrive Striving for growth implies becoming all you are capable of becoming Abraham Maslow’s model of the self-actualizing person offers a foundation for understanding growth I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 1 (3)

5 Key Figures of the Humanistic Movement
Alfred Adler’s theory stresses self-determination and sees people as creative, active, goal-oriented, and choice-making beings Carl Jung believed that humans are not merely shaped by past events, but strive for growth as well Carl Rogers stressed the importance of nonjudgmental listening and acceptance as a condition for people to feel free enough to change Abraham Maslow emphasized joy, creativity, and self-fulfillment I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 1 (4)

6 Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Once the lower need is satisfied, then the next higher need motivates us 5) Need for self-actualization 4) Esteem needs 3) Love needs 2) Safety needs 1) Physical and survival needs I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 1 (5)

7 Core Characteristics of Self-Actualizing People
Self-awareness Freedom Basic honesty and caring Trust and autonomy I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 1 (6)

8 What Kind of Learner Are You?
Auditory learner Visual learner Kinesthetic learner Emotional learner I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 1 (7)

9 Suggestions for Getting the Most From the Course and Book
Take the time to prepare for class by reading and reflecting Be willing to take risks necessary for change Use the class as a way to explore your beliefs about personal topics Practice new behavior outside of the class Keep a personal journal I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 1 (8)

10 Reviewing Your Childhood and Adolescence
INFANCY Core task: Develop sense of trust in self and others Erikson’s core struggle: trust versus mistrust Critical importance of sense of being loved during infancy Infancy provides the foundation for later development I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 2 (1)

11 Early Childhood Erikson’s core struggle: autonomy versus shame and doubt Central task is to begin the journey toward autonomy A time for learning what it means to be interdependent Importance of developing emotional competence I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 2 (2)

12 The Preschool Years Erikson’s core struggle: Initiative versus Guilt
A time for learning basic attitudes regarding sexuality A time for increasing the capacity to understand and use language Importance of learning to accept the full range of one’s feelings I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 2 (3)

13 Middle Childhood Erikson’s core struggle: Industry versus Inferiority
Increasing understanding of self --- gender, race, culture, abilities Relationships as a major focus during middle childhood A time for developing the self-concept I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 2 (4)

14 Ego-Defense Mechanisms
Psychological strategies we use to protect our self-concept We use ego defenses at various stages of life to soften the blows of reality Ego defenses help us cope with anxiety These defenses have adaptive value if they are not excessively used to avoid facing reality I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 2 (5)

15 Adolescence Erikson’s core struggle: Identity versus Role Confusion
A critical period in the development of personal identity Implications of individuation or psychological separation from parents Psychological moratorium - a time for experimentation with different roles before making major commitments I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 2 (6)

16 Adulthood and Autonomy
THE STRUGGLE TOWARD AUTONOMY Process of autonomy begins in early childhood and continues throughout life Ultimate goal is the development of a mature and interdependent self Autonomy means knowing yourself and having significant connections with others Cultural factors play a key role in determining the kind of relationships that govern one’s life I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 3 (1)

17 Challenging Early Messages (or Parental Injunctions)
Examples of parental injunctions that we incorporate into our lives: Don’t make mistakes Don’t be close Don’t be a child Don’t succeed Don’t be you I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 3 (2)

18 Albert Ellis and Uprooting Irrational Beliefs
Your faulty thinking is what leads to your emotional upsets You can best change your feelings and actions by changing your beliefs It is essential to identify and challenge self-defeating beliefs Become aware of your should’s, ought’s, and must’s Learn ways of challenging your internal dialogue and your inner critic I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 3 (3)

19 Early Adulthood There are wide variations in the way in which people experience early adulthood Erikson’s core struggle: Intimacy versus Isolation Emerging adulthood: a distinct period from both adolescence and young adulthood Emerging adulthood offers rich opportunities for exploring personal identity in the areas of love, work, and values I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 3 (4)

20 Middle Adulthood A time of going outside of ourselves
This can be a time of great productivity Erikson’s core struggle: Generativity versus Stagnation When we reach middle age, we come to a crossroads I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 3 (5)

21 Late Middle Age People often think of what they want to do with the rest of their lives There are many positive and creative dimensions of middle age A time to consider new sources of meaning in our lives A time to examine priorities and make new decisions I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 3 (6)

22 Late Adulthood Erikson’s core struggle: Integrity versus Despair
Prevalent themes often include loss, loneliness, dependency, regrets over past events and decisions It is essential to challenge the stereotypes of late adulthood The attitude an older person has about aging may be more important than chronological age I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 3 (7)

Traditional medicine focuses on identifying symptoms of illness and curing disease Holistic health focuses on all facets of human functioning The holistic approach assumes the unity of body and mind I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 4 (1)

24 Wellness Wellness consists of all aspects of functioning: physical, psychological, social, intellectual, and spiritual Wellness involves the integration of body, mind, and spirit Wellness deals with positive health, not the absence of sickness Wellness is a lifestyle choice rather than a one-time decision I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 4 (2)

25 REDS — A Formula For Wellness
Developing sound habits pertaining to sleeping, eating, exercising, and cultivating our spirituality are basic to any wellness program R = Rest allows our physical body to regenerate itself E = Exercise can prolong and enhance life D = Diet is a major factor that affects our long-term health S = Spirituality is a pathway to developing meaning in life I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 4 (3)

26 Suggestions for Getting Better Sleep
Establish a regular sleep routine Don’t take your worries with you to bed Exercise regularly Engage in meditation or relaxation methods prior to retiring Avoid eating heavy meals close to bedtime Maintain realistic self-talk about sleep I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 4 (4)

27 Some Benefits of Exercise
Increasing respiratory capacity Releasing pent-up emotions Increasing feelings of well-being and self-esteem Reducing the risk of illness Reducing body weight Increasing physical strength and endurance Providing you with a source of enjoyment I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 4 (5)

28 Dr. Andrew Weil’s Thoughts on Eating Well for Optimum Health
Dr. Weil, who teaches physicians at the University of Arizona’s Program in Integrative Medicine, believes that: Eating for health and eating for pleasure are not incompatible What and how we eat is key to how we feel and how we age We can make choices about what to eat and what not to eat I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 4 (6)

29 Your Body Image A healthy body and a positive body image allows you to do what you want physically Your view of your body has much to do with choices in other areas of your life Early decisions you have made about your body will likely affect you now Weight is related to body image for many people I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 4 (7)

Stress - an event or series of events that lead to strain, often results in physical and psychological health problems Sources of stress are frustrations, conflicts, pressures, and change Learning to cope with stress is essential to maintain wellness Stress has both positive (eustress) and negative (distress) effects Either we control stress, or stress controls us I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 5 (1)

31 Effects Of Stress If stress is not handled in a constructive way, it often produces adverse physical and psychological effects Under stress our bodies experience the “fight-or-flight” response Chronic stress causes bodily wear and tear resulting in psychophysiological disorders Negative emotional states of anxiety and depression are the result of prolonged stress I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 5 (2)

32 Stress and the Hardy Personality
Some people seem to be especially resilient and are better able to cope with stress Distinguishing characteristics of hardy people are A liking for challenge A strong sense of commitment An internal locus of control I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 5 (3)

33 Some Constructive Paths to Managing Stress
Time management Money management Challenging self-defeating thinking and negative self-talk Developing a sense of humor Learning to relax Mindfulness Meditation I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 5 (4)

34 Suggestions for Managing Stress
Think of ways to simplify your life Learn and practice a variety of relaxation exercises During the day – pause and remember to breathe Make the time each day to do what you really enjoy doing Keep your mind focused on what you are experiencing in the present Make the time to be alone on a regular basis Be kind to yourself --- and to others I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 5 (5)

35 Some Hints on Time Management
Time management can be a route to helping you set priorities and accomplishing your goals Actions you can take to remain in charge of your time: Establish clear and attainable goals Decide what you can accomplish in a given period of time Keep a schedule book and organize your time Before accepting a new project consider if you have a full plate Be comfortable with what you do accomplish Reward yourself I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 5 (6)

36 Recognizing and Dealing with Burnout
Burnout is a state of physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual exhaustion Striving for unrealistically high goals can lead to burnout The key is to recognize subtle sign of burnout Changing the way in which you approach school or work can prevent burnout Prevention is better than remediation Don’t forget to take good care of yourself I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 5 (7)

Love implies constant closeness We fall in and out of love Love is exclusive True love is selfless Love and anger are incompatible I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 6 (1)

38 Fears of Loving and Being Loved
Fear of isolation Fear of being discovered Uncertainty of love no guarantees I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 6 (2)

39 Characteristics of Inauthentic Love
Pseudo-love may look like authentic love, but it stifles growth One whose love is inauthentic --- Attaches strings to loving and loves conditionally Is possessive Depends on the other person to fill a void in life Needs to be in charge and make decisions for the other person Lacks commitment I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 6 (3)

40 Meanings of Authentic Love – A Personal Perspective
LOVE MEANS Knowing the person Caring about the person Having a responsibility toward the person Having respect and dignity for the person Accepting imperfection Growth for both people in the relationship I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 6 (4)

Each person in the relationship has a separate identity Both actively work at keeping the relationship alive Each person is growing and changing Each person is moving in a direction in life that is personally meaningful They encourage each other to become all they are capable of becoming Each has a commitment to the other I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 7 (1)

42 Anger in Relationships
There is value in recognizing and expressing anger Express anger in a way that does not assassinate another’s character Don’t hold on to anger or nurse grudges Recognize danger signs when anger gets in the way of relationships Talk more about yourself than about what is wrong with the other person Decide when it is better not to express anger I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 7 (2)

43 Guidelines for Dealing Effectively with Conflict and Confrontation
Conflict can be a healthy sign of individual differences If you confront a person, know why View confrontation as a caring act Accept responsibility for your own feelings Tell others how you are struggling with them Don’t walk away from conflict Be open to forgiving others who have hurt you Be willing to forgive yourself I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 7 (3)

44 Barriers to Effective Communication
Recognizing communication blocks is the first step toward opening the channels to dialogue Some barriers are Hearing only what you want to hear Being overly concerned about getting your point across Silently rehearsing what you will say as you are “listening” Becoming overly defensive Making assumptions about the other person without checking them out I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 7 (4)

45 Hints for Coping with Termination of a Meaningful Relationship
Allow yourself the time to grieve Express your anger without violence Take responsibility for your own part in the relationship Find a support network Make use of writing in your journal Be willing to forgive — both yourself and the other person Seek closure I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 7 (5)

46 Becoming the Woman or Man You Want to Be
SOME KEY POINTS ON GENDER-ROLE IDENTITY The gender-role standard encourages a static notion of “clear roles into which all women and men must fit” Examine the experiences you have had that influence your gender-role identity Reflect on your models that have influenced your views of what it means to be a woman or a man Be patient with yourself in challenging and changing your attitudes Decide for yourself what kind of person you want to be, based on what you truly value I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 8 (1)

47 Portrait of Traditional Male Roles
Some stereotypes associated with the traditional male role include a man’s Emotional unavailability Power and aggressiveness Denial of fears Protection of his inner self Denial of “feminine” qualities Being driven to succeed Lack of bodily awareness I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 8 (2)

48 Portrait of Traditional Female Roles
Some stereotypes associated with the traditional female role include Women are warm, expressive, and nurturing Women are not aggressive or independent Women are emotional and intuitive Women are passive and submissive Women are more interested in relationships than in professional accomplishments I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 8 (3)

49 Challenging Traditional Gender-Role Expectations
Both women and men often pay a price for staying within the limited boundaries defined for them by their culture Becoming aware of the process of gender-role socialization is the first step toward making choices about assuming expected role behavior Men and women are challenging the societal conditioning that results in rigid role behavior I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 8 (4)

50 Alternatives to Rigid Gender-Role Expectations
The challenge is for women and men to work together in deciding how they want to be Androgyny is the flexible integration of both feminine and masculine traits Androgynous people can adjust their behavior to what the situation requires in integrated and flexible ways Gender-role transcendence involves moving beyond gender roles I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 8 (5)

Women are not as sexually desirable when they initiate sex As people get older, they are bound to lose interest in sex By their very nature, men are sexually aggressive The more physically attractive a person is, the more sexually exiting he or she is Being attracted to someone of the same gender is abnormal I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 9 (1)

52 Some Concerns About Sexuality
A few concerns that many people have about sexuality Worrying about performance standards Contracting sexually transmitted diseases Being preoccupied with one’s body Feeling responsible for a partner’s dissatisfaction Experiencing guilt over sexual feelings or behavior Worrying if one is normal I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 9 (2)

53 Guidelines on Making Responsible Choices
In making responsible, inner-directed choices about whether to act on sexual feelings, you might consider Will my actions hurt another person or myself? Will my actions limit another’s freedom? Will my actions exploit another’s rights? Are my actions consistent with my values and commitments? I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 9 (3)

54 Basic Facts About AIDS AIDS affects a wide population and continues to be a major health problem There is much ignorance and fears of AIDS AIDS weakens the body’s immune system and that allows other diseases to prey on the body AIDS is considered an “equal opportunity disease” because it is found among people of all ages, genders, races, and sexual orientations I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 9 (4)

55 Transmission of HIV Much is known about the transmission of HIV and how it can be avoided Most people with HIV infection will eventually develop AIDS With early treatment HIV can be retarded and the onset of AIDS can be delayed Common forms of HIV transmission are unprotected sex with, or sharing intravenous needles with, a person infected with the virus I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 9 (5)

56 Prevention of HIV/AIDS and STD’s
Educate yourself about HIV/AIDS and about sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) Engaging in sex with multiple partners is high-risk behavior Effective and consistent use of safer sex methods is a key to prevention Consider abstinence as an alternative Make responsible choices I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 9 (6)

57 Suggestions for Reducing Date Rape
Recognize that date rape is a betrayal of trust Realize that using alcohol and drugs at parties can cloud your judgment Listen carefully to each other and respect each other’s values and boundaries Clarify your values and attitudes about sex before you are in situations where you have to make decisions about sexual behavior Be prepared to act forcefully if assertive refusals don’t stop unwanted sexual advances I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 9 (7)

58 Facts About Sexual Harassment
Sexual harassment is repeated and unwanted sexually oriented behavior in the form of comments, gestures, or physical contact Sexual harassment is abuse of the power differential between two people It diminishes choice and is not flattering If you are a recipient of harassment, realize you are not powerless and you have a right to break the pattern I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 9 (8)

Motivation and achievement Attitudes about occupations Abilities Interests Values Self-concept I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 10 (1)

60 John Holland’s Six Worker Personality Types
Realistic Investigative Artistic Social Enterprising Conventional I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 10 (2)

61 Steps in the Process of Deciding on a Career
Begin by focusing on yourself Generate alternative solutions Gather and assess information Weigh and prioritize your alternatives Make the decision and formulate a plan Carry out the decision Get feedback I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 10 (3)

62 Balancing Work and Recreation
Work alone does not generally lead to a rich existence Recreation involves creating ourselves anew and is a path to vitality Recreation requires the ability to let go and experience life The appropriate balance between work and recreation depends on the needs of the individual I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 10 (4)

63 Loneliness and Solitude
Loneliness often results from certain events in life such as: Death of someone we love The decision to leave a secure job for an unknown one Moving to a new city A long stay in a hospital Loneliness is an experience of feeling set apart from others Loneliness can indicate that we’ve failed to listen to our inner voice I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 11 (1)

64 Solitude Solitude is typically something we choose for ourselves
In solitude, we make time to be with ourselves and to discover who we are Solitude provides an opportunity for renewal Through solitude we are able to examine our lives and gain a sense of perspective I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 11 (2)

65 Ways People Attempt to Escape from Facing Loneliness
Living an overscheduled life Striving for perfect control of the environment Surrounding ourselves with people Becoming a slave to routine Numbing ourselves with alcohol or drugs I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 11 (3)

66 Some Consequences of Shyness
Shyness can make it difficult to communicate effectively Shyness often holds people back from meeting new people Shyness may prevent people from expressing themselves Shyness often results in feelings of depression, anxiety, and loneliness I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 11 (4)

Some of the aspects of death we may fear are --- Ceasing to be Leaving behind those we love Losing ourselves Encountering the unknown Coping with the indignity of a painful and long dying process Growing distant in the memories of others I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 12 (1)

68 Death and the Meaning of Life
Life and death are two facets of the same reality Realization of death can revitalize our goals Acceptance of death can lead to discovery of meaning and purpose in life Because time on earth is limited, there is an urgency about living Ancient Greek dictum — “Contemplate death if you would learn how to live.” I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 12 (2)

69 Some Common Myths About Suicide
There are no warning signs People who are suicidal want to die People who talk about suicide will not do it Suicide is genetic Young people are more likely than old people to commit suicide I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 12 (3)

70 Some Warning Signs Indicating Suicidal Potential
Previous suicidal threats or comments Giving away prized possessions Talking about specific ways and a time plan for committing suicide Chronic depression and feelings of hopelessness Extreme changes of behavior and sudden personality shifts Getting one’s life in order I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 12 (4)

71 Stages of Dying Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance
I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 12 (5)

72 Being “Dead” Psychologically and Socially
Are you caught up in deadening roles? Are you alive to your senses and your body? Can you be spontaneous and playful? Are you alive to your feelings? Are your relationships alive? Are you alive intellectually? Are you alive spiritually? I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 12 (6)

73 How Well Are You Living Life?
Consider writing three eulogies for yourself Write an actual eulogy — one you would give at your own funeral Write a feared eulogy — one that you fear someone might say Write the eulogy you would hope for I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 12 (7)

74 Meaning and Values THREE EXISTENTIAL QUESTIONS Who am I?
Where am I going? Why? I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 13 (1)

75 Our Quest for Identity Identifying core values is a part of the quest for identity An identity is not achieved once and for all We need to listen to our inner selves and trust what we hear We may decide to go against our cultural upbringing to create an identity that is congruent with our values I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 13 (2)

76 Examining Your Values Where did I develop my values?
Are my values open to challenge and modification? How do my values affect my behavior? Am I able to accept others — even if they think, feel, or act in different ways from me? I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 13 (3)

77 Embracing Diversity Meaning in life can be found by paying attention to the common ground we are sharing and by becoming aware of universal themes that unite us Create a philosophy of life that embraces under-standing and acceptance of diverse world views Prejudice and discrimination are paths toward an empty existence Becoming aware of our own subtle prejudice is the first step toward change I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 13 (4)

78 Ways of Breaking Down Barriers and Building Connections
Acknowledge and challenge your biases and prejudices Avoid judging differences — view diversity as a strength Be respectful of those who differ from you Learn about cultures that differ from your own Be willing to test, adapt, and change your perceptions I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 13 (5)

79 Where to Go From Here: Pathways to Growth
PATHWAYS FOR CONTINUED SELF-EXPLORATION Develop a reading program Continue your writing program Engage in self-directed behavior change Get involved in a support group I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 14 (1)

80 Counseling as a Way to Understand Yourself
You might consider seeking counseling when — You feel out of control of your life You are stuck You are involved in an unsatisfying relationship You are experiencing a spiritual crisis You are experiencing a significant loss You are the victim of discrimination or oppression You fear using your potential I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 14 (2)

81 Understanding Your Dreams
The messages we receive in dreams are related to our hopes, fears, concerns of daily life Dreams can reveal significant clues to events that have meaning for us Dreams are messages that deserve to be listened to and respected Dreams can provide a pathway to better understanding of yourself I Never Knew I Had a Choice - Chapter 14 (3)

Download ppt "I Never Knew I Had a Choice - 7th ed."

Similar presentations

Ads by Google