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YOU NEED IT (and were about to tell you why ) Nosy Matchmakers Alliance are proud to introduce JASON PORATH (LX edition boyfriend, 07-08) Nosy Matchmakers.

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Presentation on theme: "YOU NEED IT (and were about to tell you why ) Nosy Matchmakers Alliance are proud to introduce JASON PORATH (LX edition boyfriend, 07-08) Nosy Matchmakers."— Presentation transcript:

1 YOU NEED IT (and were about to tell you why ) Nosy Matchmakers Alliance are proud to introduce JASON PORATH (LX edition boyfriend, 07-08) Nosy Matchmakers Alliance are proud to introduce JASON PORATH (LX edition boyfriend, 07-08)

2 Overview Market research: opening for dating Scientific tests*: compatible! Telltale signs youre in the market: Of marriageable age! Not barefoot and pregnant! Spotted regularly outside of kitchen! CONCLUSION: WE MUST FIX YOU Market research: opening for dating Scientific tests*: compatible! Telltale signs youre in the market: Of marriageable age! Not barefoot and pregnant! Spotted regularly outside of kitchen! CONCLUSION: WE MUST FIX YOU *: OKCupid: not actually scientific

3 Recent study on single women Dont let this be you!

4 Introducing Jason: Convenient! Located nearby: gas-efficient! 24/7 roadside assistance! Fast internet with just your phone! Located nearby: gas-efficient! 24/7 roadside assistance! Fast internet with just your phone!

5 Convenience (ctd) Proxy shopper! Chauffeur! Kills spiders dead! Proxy shopper! Chauffeur! Kills spiders dead! BUT WAIT -- THERES MORE!!

6 Fashion Cold? Take his jacket! Hot? Hell help you disrobe! Never out of season Cold? Take his jacket! Hot? Hell help you disrobe! Never out of season

7 Fashion (ctd) Comes with closet space, perfect for: Handbags Skeletons Hiding from the po-po Comes with closet space, perfect for: Handbags Skeletons Hiding from the po-po

8 Manual labor Bury those corpses down low! Get that peanut butter up high! Bendable legs = ADAPTABLE! Bury those corpses down low! Get that peanut butter up high! Bendable legs = ADAPTABLE!

9 Manual labor (ctd) Picks up heavy things! Tired? Piggyback ride! Too bumpy? Rickshaw! Picks up heavy things! Tired? Piggyback ride! Too bumpy? Rickshaw!

10 Furnishings Pillow! Footrest! Blanket! Folds up for easy storage! Pillow! Footrest! Blanket! Folds up for easy storage! PLEASE NOTE: Due to liability issues, the Jason doormat functionality has removed from 07-08 version.

11 Testimonials I beta-tested Jason for several years in college -- high marks! College sweetheart A++++ WOULD DO AGAIN Sexxxydude6969, Ebay seller Hes really a very special boy. Jasons mom Disease-free and housebroken. Jasons college diploma I beta-tested Jason for several years in college -- high marks! College sweetheart A++++ WOULD DO AGAIN Sexxxydude6969, Ebay seller Hes really a very special boy. Jasons mom Disease-free and housebroken. Jasons college diploma

12 Security Human shield! Emergency rations! Patsy for over 50 felonies! Human shield! Emergency rations! Patsy for over 50 felonies!

13 Conclusion Pretty please with sugar on top And a cherry Ill be your best friend You can even read my comics Aw, cmon I really need this sale Cant you just help me out here? Id do it for you Pretty please with sugar on top And a cherry Ill be your best friend You can even read my comics Aw, cmon I really need this sale Cant you just help me out here? Id do it for you


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