1. Make Your Essay Sizzle... E S A Y xamples entence Train
imiles & Figurative Language
necdotes
ou said; they said.

2. Here’s the second body paragraph of a paragraph about the perfect career.
Another reason I would like to be in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. I love talking to people. Although I don’t usually talk much in class, I love talking to friends in the hallway. As a cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk.
This is a standard five-sentence paragraph. It’s okay, but it doesn’t SIZZLE...

3. Examples
Another reason I would like to be in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while talking with customers and coworkers. I love talking to people. Although I don’t usually talk much in class, I love talking to friends in the hallway. As a cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk.

4. E xamples TOPIC SENTENCE:
Write three examples to support the following topic sentence. Be sure to connect your ideas with transition words.
TOPIC SENTENCE:
Amusement parks provide fun for the entire family.
Now add an example to your paper....

5. Sentence Train Adjectives.....
PUT IN Link to Mr. Childers Sentence Train....
Sentence Train
Another reason I would like to be in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the never-ending talking, the droning hairdryers, and the business phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdresser’s shop is as busy as a beehive. I would love this exciting atmosphere. talking to people. Although I don’t usually talk much in class, I love talking to friends in the hallway. As a professional cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk.
Add three adjectives to every body paragraph.
Adjectives.....

6. Sentence Train Vivid Verbs.....
Another reason I would like to be pursue a career in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the never-ending talking, the droning hairdryers, and the business phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdresser’s shop is as busy as a beehive. I would love this exciting atmosphere. talking to people. Although I don’t usually gab talk much in class, I love communicating talking with friends in the hallway. As a professional cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk.
Find repetitive or boring verbs...change them to a vivid verb. Use thesaurus if needed.
Vivid Verbs.....

7. S imiles & Figurative Language
Try to spot the similes or metaphors in the following sentence. Write them down on your paper and tell whether they are similes or metaphors.
Now, Tony, who has been a member of a street gang for five years, is a heartless brutal machine with no regard for human life.
My mother always takes care of us.
From an airplane, people look like a bunch of ants traveling across the land.
Her hands were like butterflies fluttering across the keyboard.
The best dog I ever owned was a brown and white beagle that we found in the Smoky Mountains National Park.

8. S imiles & Figurative Language
Try to spot the similes or metaphors in the following sentence. Write them down on your paper and tell whether they are similes or metaphors.
Now, Tony, who has been a member of a street gang for five years, is a heartless brutal machine with no regard for human life.
METAPHOR
My mother always takes care of us.
From an airplane, people look like a bunch of ants traveling across the land.
SIMILE
Her hands were like butterflies fluttering across the keyboard.
SIMILE
The best dog I ever owned was a brown and white beagle that we found in the Smoky Mountains National Park.

9. S imiles & Figurative Language
Write a simile or metaphor to complete at least three of the following sentences.
I jumped like ______________________ when the doorbell rang.
After his surprise birthday party, Jake was as happy as __________________.
She was as pleased as ________________ when she opened the present.
My father is an expert golfer. When he hit the ball it flew away like_____________________________.

10. S Write imiles & Figurative Language
Other figurative language:
Onomatopoeia –”splash”; “bark”; “tap”; “slam”
Alliteration-several words that begin with the same letter.

11. Similes & Other Figurative Language
Another reason I would like to be in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the talking, the hairdryers, and the phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdresser’s shop is as busy as a beehive. I love talking to people. Although I don’t usually talk much in class, I love talking to friends in the hallway. As a cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk.
1. Add at least one simile or metaphor.
2. Add at least one onomatopoeia or alliteration.

12. Go to Mr. Childers Anecdote Cheat Codes
Anecdotes
Go to Mr. Childers Anecdote Cheat Codes

13. Anecdotes-It doesn’t have to be true.
Another reason I would like to be pursue a career in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the never-ending talking, the droning hairdryers, and the business phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdresser’s shop is as busy as a beehive. I would love this exciting atmosphere. talking to people. Although I don’t usually gab talk much in class, I love communicating talking with friends in the hallway. Just last week my best friend, Jessica, actually said, “What I hate most about school is you never get to talk in class. I want a job where I can talk all day long.” What other job could I get that would honor this wish? I thought about being a secretary, but they would have to type and file papers most days. A dentist, which I thought might be fun, could talk with their customers while she worked, but they couldn’t really talk back. As a professional cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. Once I watched my aunt working in her shop. She was highlighting the hair of a friend of hers. In 45 minutes, Aunt Becky discussed the guest list of her daughter’s wedding and what she was planning to wear. They were laughing and having a great time, and when she finished the hair color, her friend paid her $75. It would be fun to do hair and talk.

14. Add at least one anecdote into your essay.
We’ll guess...is it a lie?

15. You said; they said. Quotes & Dialogue
Show Mr. Childers’ Cheat Codes
Quotes and Dialogue

16. You said; they said. (Quotes and Dialogue)
Another reason I would like to be pursue a career in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the never-ending talking, the droning hairdryers, and the business phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdresser’s shop is as busy as a beehive. I would love this exciting atmosphere. talking to people. Although I don’t usually gab talk much in class, I love communicating talking with friends in the hallway. Just last week my best friend, Jessica, actually said, “What I hate most about school is you never get to talk in class. I want a job where I can talk all day long.” As a professional cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk.
Add dialogue into your anecdote or add a quote into another part of your paper.

17. Another Suggestion Compare your topic to another.
Compare Christmas to Easter or Fourth of July to Thanksgiving.

18. Other Good Suggestions....
Compare and Contrast (and a few more examples).
Another reason I would like to be pursue a career in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the never-ending talking, the droning hairdryers, and the business phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdresser’s shop is as busy as a beehive. I would love this exciting atmosphere. talking to people. Although I don’t usually gab talk much in class, I love communicating talking with friends in the hallway. Just last week my best friend, Jessica, actually said, “What I hate most about school is you never get to talk in class. I want a job where I can talk all day long.” What other job could I get that would honor this wish? I thought about being a secretary, but they would have to type and file papers most days. A dentist, which I thought might be fun, could talk with their customers while she worked, but they couldn’t really talk back. As a professional cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk.

19. Add interesting ending sentence
Another reason I would like to be pursue a career in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the never-ending talking, the droning hairdryers, and the business phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdresser’s shop is as busy as a beehive. I would love this exciting atmosphere. talking to people. Although I don’t usually gab talk much in class, I love communicating talking with friends in the hallway. Just last week my best friend, Jessica, actually said, “What I hate most about school is you never get to talk in class. I want a job where I can talk all day long.” What other job could I get that would honor this wish? I thought about being a secretary, but they would have to type and file papers most days. A dentist, which I thought might be fun, could talk with their customers while she worked, but they couldn’t really talk back. As a professional cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. Once I watched my aunt working in her shop. She was highlighting the hair of a friend of hers. In 45 minutes, Aunt Becky discussed the guest list of her daughter’s wedding and what she was planning to wear. They were laughing and having a great time, and when she finished the hair color, her friend paid her $75. It would be fun to do hair and talk. Chh...ching. Imagine chatting all day long and getting paid cold hard cash. What could be better?

20. I think I counted 14 sentences...
You have to admit, it was much more interesting than the first one...and it was well on it’s way to getting a six as part of a bigger essay.

21. Now it’s your turn... Skip your introduction. We’ll work on it Friday.
Find your first body paragraph.
Go through your elaboration list step by step...adding each element as you go.
If you have to make up an anecdote or dialogue element, it’s okay.
When your first body paragraph has 10 or more sentences, try the next one.

22. Don’t zip through it. If you do a good job
Don’t zip through it...If you do a good job...it should take you the rest of class or longer to fully elaborate your paragraphs.