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Make Your Essay Sizzle... ESSAY xamples necdotes entence Train imiles & Figurative Language ou said; they said.

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Presentation on theme: "Make Your Essay Sizzle... ESSAY xamples necdotes entence Train imiles & Figurative Language ou said; they said."— Presentation transcript:

1 Make Your Essay Sizzle... ESSAY xamples necdotes entence Train imiles & Figurative Language ou said; they said.

2 Another reason I would like to be in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. I love talking to people. Although I dont usually talk much in class, I love talking to friends in the hallway. As a cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk. Heres the second body paragraph of a paragraph about the perfect career. This is a standard five- sentence paragraph. Its okay, but it doesnt SIZZLE...

3 Another reason I would like to be in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while talking with customers and coworkers. I love talking to people. Although I dont usually talk much in class, I love talking to friends in the hallway. As a cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk. Examples

4 E xamples Write three examples to support the following topic sentence. Be sure to connect your ideas with transition words. TOPIC SENTENCE: Amusement parks provide fun for the entire family. Now add an example to your paper....

5 Another reason I would like to be in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the never-ending talking, the droning hairdryers, and the business phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdressers shop is as busy as a beehive. I would love this exciting atmosphere. talking to people. Although I dont usually talk much in class, I love talking to friends in the hallway. As a professional cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk. Sentence Train Adjectives Adjectives..... PUT IN Link to Mr. Childers Sentence Train.... Add three adjectives to every body paragraph.

6 Another reason I would like to be pursue a career in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the never-ending talking, the droning hairdryers, and the business phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdressers shop is as busy as a beehive. I would love this exciting atmosphere. talking to people. Although I dont usually gab talk much in class, I love communicating talking with friends in the hallway. As a professional cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk. Vivid Verbs Vivid Verbs..... Sentence Train Find repetitive or boring verbs...change them to a vivid verb. Use thesaurus if needed.

7 S imiles & Figurative Language Try to spot the similes or metaphors in the following sentence. Write them down on your paper and tell whether they are similes or metaphors. Now, Tony, who has been a member of a street gang for five years, is a heartless brutal machine with no regard for human life. From an airplane, people look like a bunch of ants traveling across the land. Her hands were like butterflies fluttering across the keyboard. My mother always takes care of us. The best dog I ever owned was a brown and white beagle that we found in the Smoky Mountains National Park.

8 S imiles & Figurative Language Try to spot the similes or metaphors in the following sentence. Write them down on your paper and tell whether they are similes or metaphors. Now, Tony, who has been a member of a street gang for five years, is a heartless brutal machine with no regard for human life. From an airplane, people look like a bunch of ants traveling across the land. Her hands were like butterflies fluttering across the keyboard. My mother always takes care of us. The best dog I ever owned was a brown and white beagle that we found in the Smoky Mountains National Park. METAPHOR SIMILE SIMILE

9 S imiles & Figurative Language Write a simile or metaphor to complete at least three of the following sentences. I jumped like ______________________ when the doorbell rang. She was as pleased as ________________ when she opened the present. My father is an expert golfer. When he hit the ball it flew away like_____________________________. After his surprise birthday party, Jake was as happy as __________________.

10 S imiles & Figurative Language Other figurative language: Write Onomatopoeia –splash; bark; tap; slam Alliteration-several words that begin with the same letter.

11 Another reason I would like to be in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the talking, the hairdryers, and the phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdressers shop is as busy as a beehive. I love talking to people. Although I dont usually talk much in class, I love talking to friends in the hallway. As a cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk. Similes & Other Figurative Language 1. Add at least one simile or metaphor. 2. Add at least one onomatopoeia or alliteration.

12 Anecdotes Go to Mr. Childers Anecdote Cheat Codes

13 Another reason I would like to be pursue a career in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the never-ending talking, the droning hairdryers, and the business phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdressers shop is as busy as a beehive. I would love this exciting atmosphere. talking to people. Although I dont usually gab talk much in class, I love communicating talking with friends in the hallway. Just last week my best friend, Jessica, actually said, What I hate most about school is you never get to talk in class. I want a job where I can talk all day long. What other job could I get that would honor this wish? I thought about being a secretary, but they would have to type and file papers most days. A dentist, which I thought might be fun, could talk with their customers while she worked, but they couldnt really talk back. As a professional cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. Once I watched my aunt working in her shop. She was highlighting the hair of a friend of hers. In 45 minutes, Aunt Becky discussed the guest list of her daughters wedding and what she was planning to wear. They were laughing and having a great time, and when she finished the hair color, her friend paid her $75. It would be fun to do hair and talk. Anecdotes-It doesnt have to be true.

14 Add at least one anecdote into your essay. Well guess...is it a lie?

15 You said; they said. Quotes & Dialogue Show Mr. Childers Cheat Codes Quotes and Dialogue

16 Another reason I would like to be pursue a career in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the never-ending talking, the droning hairdryers, and the business phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdressers shop is as busy as a beehive. I would love this exciting atmosphere. talking to people. Although I dont usually gab talk much in class, I love communicating talking with friends in the hallway. Just last week my best friend, Jessica, actually said, What I hate most about school is you never get to talk in class. I want a job where I can talk all day long. As a professional cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk. You said; they said. (Quotes and Dialogue) Add dialogue into your anecdote or add a quote into another part of your paper.

17 Another Suggestion Compare your topic to another. Compare Christmas to Easter or Fourth of July to Thanksgiving.

18 Other Good Suggestions.... Compare and Contrast (and a few more examples). Another reason I would like to be pursue a career in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the never-ending talking, the droning hairdryers, and the business phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdressers shop is as busy as a beehive. I would love this exciting atmosphere. talking to people. Although I dont usually gab talk much in class, I love communicating talking with friends in the hallway. Just last week my best friend, Jessica, actually said, What I hate most about school is you never get to talk in class. I want a job where I can talk all day long. What other job could I get that would honor this wish? I thought about being a secretary, but they would have to type and file papers most days. A dentist, which I thought might be fun, could talk with their customers while she worked, but they couldnt really talk back. As a professional cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk.

19 Add interesting ending sentence Another reason I would like to be pursue a career in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the never-ending talking, the droning hairdryers, and the business phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdressers shop is as busy as a beehive. I would love this exciting atmosphere. talking to people. Although I dont usually gab talk much in class, I love communicating talking with friends in the hallway. Just last week my best friend, Jessica, actually said, What I hate most about school is you never get to talk in class. I want a job where I can talk all day long. What other job could I get that would honor this wish? I thought about being a secretary, but they would have to type and file papers most days. A dentist, which I thought might be fun, could talk with their customers while she worked, but they couldnt really talk back. As a professional cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. Once I watched my aunt working in her shop. She was highlighting the hair of a friend of hers. In 45 minutes, Aunt Becky discussed the guest list of her daughters wedding and what she was planning to wear. They were laughing and having a great time, and when she finished the hair color, her friend paid her $75. It would be fun to do hair and talk. Chh...ching. Imagine chatting all day long and getting paid cold hard cash. What could be better?

20 I think I counted 14 sentences... You have to admit, it was much more interesting than the first one...and it was well on its way to getting a six as part of a bigger essay.

21 Now its your turn... Skip your introduction. Well work on it Friday. Find your first body paragraph. Go through your elaboration list step by step...adding each element as you go. If you have to make up an anecdote or dialogue element, its okay. When your first body paragraph has 10 or more sentences, try the next one.

22 Dont zip through it...If you do a good job...it should take you the rest of class or longer to fully elaborate your paragraphs.


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