3 You can change the way you think Thoughts that go through your mind will always be thereYou can’t stop your thoughtsYou don’t need to stop the thoughts – you just need to choose which thoughts you should pay attention to, and which thoughts you should let drift on past…The easiest way to change the way you think is to remember one very important thing…
4 Remember one important thing… Thoughts are NOT facts!
5 Your thoughts are not facts! Some of your thoughts may be based on fact – these are not the kind of thoughts we’re looking at here. Thought’s like “I really should do my homework” or “I should tell my Mum I appreciate her” are thoughts worth considering as being “facts” But - many of the thoughts that run through your head are definitely NOT based on fact– many of your thoughts are assumptions / opinions / even other-people’s opinions.The trick is to be real and honest with yourself and make a point of figuring-out which thoughts are “negative” and which thoughts are “positive”.Your thoughts are not facts!
6 These thoughts make you feel happy, love, calm and safe You will have negative thoughts…These thoughts make you feel sad, jealous, angry, and worthlessYou will have positive thoughts…These thoughts make you feel happy, love, calm and safe
7 Your thoughts are not facts… You are allowed to think both kinds of thoughts… both positive and negative. You can’t stop any of your thoughts and you should not even try to stop either kinds of thoughts.You are human! – being human means that you should be having both negative and positive thoughtsYou are also allowed to feel the feelings that your thoughts create.Your thoughts are not facts…
8 Your thoughts are not facts… You should not “beat-yourself-up” when you have lots of negative thoughts – it’s ok to have “those days” where everything seems badIt is not ok to try to block-out your unpleasant thoughts.Your thoughts are not facts…
9 The trick is to be real and honest with yourself. You should try – as best you can – to practise 3 steps:“Notice” the thought and, as best you can, describe it to yourself (or… you could write it down)Decide whether this thought is worth-thinking-about or… is it just another one of your repeated thoughtsAs best you can, let the thought drift away.
10 “my thoughts don’t control me – I control my thoughts!” Your thoughts will keep coming back – but – eventually… if you make a real effort to practise the 3 steps… you will only “dwell” on the thoughts that you know are worth thinking aboutRemember, you can’t stop your thoughts – but you can learn to deal with them – on your terms!The more you try to “stop” destructive thoughts – the more often they’ll keep hassling you!“my thoughts don’t control me – I control my thoughts!”
11 As best you can, allow the thought to drift away. Why don’t you try – as best you can – practise 3 steps:“Notice” the thought and, as best you can, describe it to yourself (or… you could write it down)Decide whether this thought is worth-thinking- about… or is it just another one of your repeated thoughtsAs best you can, allow the thought to drift away.
12 here’s an example…You send an important txt msg to one of your best friends. Your friend always replies quickly to all of your txt msgs.One hour goes by…3 hours go by…A whole day goes by…Still no reply from your friend.This isn’t normal! What’s wrong? A whole lot of thoughts come racing though your mind. You have no idea why your friend hasn’t replied. Your thoughts keep racing around in your mind – you can’t stop them.
13 The more you think about it – the worse you feel The more you think about it – the worse you feel! You start getting angry. You feel let-down. You think your friend has betrayed you somehow. You must have done something terrible. It must be your fault. You must be a terrible person… that must be why your friend wont reply to you! You feel worse and worse now. You almost feel sick!Now… stop…Stop for a minute… and take a deep breathLook at those “thoughts”Look at the thoughts carefully. “Notice” those thoughts that have made you feel so bad.Ask yourself… “are any of those thoughts facts?”
14 None of those thoughts are facts None of those thoughts are facts. They’re just thoughts – they can’t hurt you.You see the negative thoughts. You notice them. You decide that those thoughts are NOT facts – so you let those thoughts drift off.Soon, you get a msg from a phone number that you don’t know. It’s your friend…“… hi… lost my mobile phone yesterday … this is my brother’s phone. Go on fb chat NOW. K. xx”
15 Your mind is like a garden. You can grow flowers…OrYou can grow weeds…You will always have weeds that you need to deal with… and, once you get rid of one kind of weed – another type of weed will show up!One good way to have fewer weeds – is to grow more flowers.The more flowers you grow – the less space for the weeds!