1. Feelings aren’t Facts
They’re Feelings!

2. Thinking – Feeling - Behavior

3. Core of Carried Shame Children are sponges They are egocentric
Emotion is energy
Shameless behavior is induced into children.
They are vulnerable
They are collecting data
They develop a shame core that is not their own.

4. Exercise – pick a partner

5. What I make up about it… Communication Feedback Loop
When you – state the behavior
What I made up about it – describe your thinking, or what you are making up about it
How I felt about it is …
What I need from you is …

6. Addictions Alcohol Drugs – Illegal Drugs - Prescriptions Gambling
Spending
Debting
Eating disorders
Nicotine
Caffeine
Sugar
Work
Busyness
Sexual acting out
Pornography
Love addiction
Internet surfing

7. Shame Core Circle

8. Normal Development

9. Feelings Chart Rage ANGER Terror FEAR Despair PAIN Mania JOY
Carried Feelings
Adult Feelings
Gifts from Feelings
Rage
ANGER
Assertiveness Strength Energy
Terror
FEAR
Preservation Wisdom Protection
Despair
PAIN
Healing Growth Awareness
Mania
JOY
Abundance Happiness Gratitude
Hopelessness
LONLEY
Connection Intimacy Spirituality
Worthlessness
SHAME
Humility Containment Humanity
Shame
GUILT
Values Amends Containment

10. Shame Binds
A shame bind happens whenever a codependent begins to have a feeling and immediately has shaming messages go through the mind about how bad or wrong having that feeling is. This stops the original feeling and a shame attack takes over as the predominant feeling.

11. Learn to practice the 3 step
Get your history straight – have your feelings about it.
Nurture the child ego states that are stuck in you. Affirm and protect.
Meetings, step work, service work, sponsorship to strengthen the healthy adult self that is being formed.

12. THE BEGINNING – ENJOY THE JOURNEY