3 Core of Carried Shame Children are sponges They are egocentric Emotion is energyShameless behavior is induced into children.They are vulnerableThey are collecting dataThey develop a shame core that is not their own.
5 What I make up about it… Communication Feedback Loop When you – state the behaviorWhat I made up about it – describe your thinking, or what you are making up about itHow I felt about it is …What I need from you is …
9 Feelings Chart Rage ANGER Terror FEAR Despair PAIN Mania JOY Carried FeelingsAdult FeelingsGifts from FeelingsRageANGERAssertiveness Strength EnergyTerrorFEARPreservation Wisdom ProtectionDespairPAINHealing Growth AwarenessManiaJOYAbundance Happiness GratitudeHopelessnessLONLEYConnection Intimacy SpiritualityWorthlessnessSHAMEHumility Containment HumanityShameGUILTValues Amends Containment
10 Shame BindsA shame bind happens whenever a codependent begins to have a feeling and immediately has shaming messages go through the mind about how bad or wrong having that feeling is. This stops the original feeling and a shame attack takes over as the predominant feeling.
11 Learn to practice the 3 step Get your history straight – have your feelings about it.Nurture the child ego states that are stuck in you. Affirm and protect.Meetings, step work, service work, sponsorship to strengthen the healthy adult self that is being formed.