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Feelings aren’t Facts They’re Feelings!.

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Presentation on theme: "Feelings aren’t Facts They’re Feelings!."— Presentation transcript:

1 Feelings aren’t Facts They’re Feelings!

2 Thinking – Feeling - Behavior

3 Core of Carried Shame Children are sponges They are egocentric
Emotion is energy Shameless behavior is induced into children. They are vulnerable They are collecting data They develop a shame core that is not their own.

4 Exercise – pick a partner

5 What I make up about it… Communication Feedback Loop
When you – state the behavior What I made up about it – describe your thinking, or what you are making up about it How I felt about it is … What I need from you is …

6 Addictions Alcohol Drugs – Illegal Drugs - Prescriptions Gambling
Spending Debting Eating disorders Nicotine Caffeine Sugar Work Busyness Sexual acting out Pornography Love addiction Internet surfing

7 Shame Core Circle

8 Normal Development

9 Feelings Chart Rage ANGER Terror FEAR Despair PAIN Mania JOY
Carried Feelings Adult Feelings Gifts from Feelings Rage ANGER Assertiveness Strength Energy Terror FEAR Preservation Wisdom Protection Despair PAIN Healing Growth Awareness Mania JOY Abundance Happiness Gratitude Hopelessness LONLEY Connection Intimacy Spirituality Worthlessness SHAME Humility Containment Humanity Shame GUILT Values Amends Containment

10 Shame Binds A shame bind happens whenever a codependent begins to have a feeling and immediately has shaming messages go through the mind about how bad or wrong having that feeling is. This stops the original feeling and a shame attack takes over as the predominant feeling.

11 Learn to practice the 3 step
Get your history straight – have your feelings about it. Nurture the child ego states that are stuck in you. Affirm and protect. Meetings, step work, service work, sponsorship to strengthen the healthy adult self that is being formed.


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