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The amazing and powerful gift of sex has been distorted. Teens unhealthy perspective on sex is dangerous and WILL cost them… Is S E X killing our kids?

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Presentation on theme: "The amazing and powerful gift of sex has been distorted. Teens unhealthy perspective on sex is dangerous and WILL cost them… Is S E X killing our kids?"— Presentation transcript:

1 The amazing and powerful gift of sex has been distorted. Teens unhealthy perspective on sex is dangerous and WILL cost them… Is S E X killing our kids? How can we help???

2 Straight Talk Parent First Choice Womens Resource Centers Presenter: Sandy Bober Redeemer Montclair, May 15, 2010

3 Why are you here? What has caused you to spend a few hours of your weekend with us? In other words, what are you looking to get of this workshop? What are some experiences you have already had with your teen that has brought you here today?

4 Your child wants to hear from YOU! ALL studies have proven that kids want to hear the truth about sex from their parents first. Then it follows with friends, teachers and media. YOU are your childs best teacher!

5 Gods Role in Sex Sex is Great! Creation Genesis Genesis 1:26-27 states, then God said, Let us make man [the word translate mankind or humans] in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So God created Man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 2:18-22 It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found (that fit him). So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the mans ribs closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

6 Gods Role in Sex Genesis 2:23-35, The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. 1 Corinthians 6:12, Everything is permissible for me"but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Corinthians 6: 18-20, Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. Song of Solomon: Tells a love story between two lovers.

7 Satan Makes Sex Bad Sex is a wonderful part of a committed, marriage relationship. Sex is something special between a husband and wife that bonds them together creating one flesh. Satan wants to separate that bond and works feverishly to destroy marriage through infidelity. Satan distorts and perverts sex through molestation, rape and incest. Satan has tempted many to be sexually active before marriage leading to emotional and physical consequences.

8 Pregnancy Statistics 1 in 4 sexually active teen girls will become pregnant by age 20 in the US In magazines, movies, music, books and TV, the message seems to be that all teens are or should be having sex. But research shows that the real majority of teens are choosing abstinence. More than half of teenagers in 9 th - 12 th grade are not engaged in sexual activity, declining from 53 percent in 1995 to 47 percent in (CDC, Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Study, YRBSS, 2005).

9 STD Statistics STD = Sexually Transmitted Disease. Last year there were 18.9 million NEW reported STD cases 48% of those new cases occurred in people ages in 4 sexually active teenagers contract an STD What are some STDs that you have heard of before?

10 Teens and Sexually Transmitted Diseases Why are STD rates so high? * Many cases do not show symptoms * Diseases spread easily and are hard to protect against * You have to rely on the honesty of infected people * People are not using protection * The more partners the more risk there is * Media sends the message that casual sex with multiple partners is common and acceptable

11 THE SPREAD OF STDS Genital Activity: Intercourse Dry Sex Oral sex Anal sex Hand to genital contact (HPV)

12 Sexually Transmitted Diseases Bacterial - Can be treated Viral - Only treat the symptoms

13 Major STDs Bacterial Viral (Treatable with antibiotics) (Untreatable w/ antibiotics) Chlamydia HIV - AIDS Gonorrhea Herpes Syphilis HPV ( Human Papillomavirus)

14 Syphilis 70,000 new cases annually in the US Bacterial- there is treatment Can increase susceptibility to HIV by 2-5 times the norm Spread via direct contact with a sore during vaginal, anal or oral sex

15 Gonorrhea 700,000 new cases annually in the US Bacterial- there is treatment Drug resistant strains of gonorrhea are increasing internationally Infectiousness of HIV carriers and susceptibility of uninfected persons both rise with gonorrhea Can lead to PID Spread via genital contact- ejaculation is not necessary

16 Chlamydia About one third of sexually active females aged 12 – 19 have chlamydia. 1 27% of American women who have undergone in-vitro fertilization are infertile due to chlamydia. (CDC/ASRM 1999) 1 Longitudinal study, Baltimore Maryland, Journal of the American Medical Association, August 12, 1998 Infertility occurs in 1 out of 10 chlamydia cases.

17 Chlamydia 2.8 million new infections annually in the US Bacterial- there is treatment Can increase susceptibility to HIV by 5 times the norm 40% of untreated cases lead to PID Spread via vaginal, oral or anal sex

18 HIV- Human Immunodeficiency Virus 40,000 new cases annually in the US 800,000 people currently infected Viral- there is no treatment 70% of infections occur among men and 30% among women 75% of infections are from sexual contact and 25% is credited to injected drug use

19 Genital Herpes 1 out of 5 Americans over the age of 11 has genital herpes, a viral disease. 45 Million Americans are living with Genital Herpes There is no medical cure ~ only treat symptoms. Cells are shed even between outbreaks. Along with numerous other STDs, it has been shown to increase the risk of HIV infection.

20 HPV is the most common STD Most Americans are totally unaware of HPV Of 100 Strains, 30 are sexually transmitted. Some cause genital warts. Some cause cancerous changes. Others are not seen to be as dangerous

21 Human Papillomavirus (HPV) They cause 99.7% of all cervical cancers, 1 and have been found in penile, anal and oral cancers. 2 ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 1 Journal of Pathology, C.S. Herrington, 8/24/99, 189:1-3 2 New England Journal of Medicine, J Mork, et al, 4/12/01, Vol. 344: 15 When dangerous strains are persistent, they are very serious.

22 HPV 6.2 million new cases annually in the US It is estimated that 1 of every 2 sexually active people will contract HPV by 2020 Viral- there is no treatment Many of the carriers show no symptoms Spread via skin to skin contact- penetration is not necessary

23 Pregnancy and Condoms How effective are condoms at preventing pregnancy? 97%- 2-4% condoms will slip or break Study with consenting adults show 86% effective. Difference between consenting adults and teenagers

24 Summary of Condom Effectiveness STD Condom Effectiveness Gonorrhea Males: 50% - 100% Risk Reduction Females: No Clinical Proof HIV/AIDS 85% Risk Reduction Syphilis 30 – 50% Risk Reduction

25 Summary of Condom Effectiveness STD Condom Effectiveness Genital Herpes 0 – 50% Risk Reduction Chlamydia0 – 50% Risk Reduction HPV0 - ?

26 The Emotional STD Sex does not just effect the physical body Sexual activity also has emotional consequences Sexually active teens are more likely to be depressed than non sexually active teens The emotions and memories from our past sexual experiences will stay with us for our entire lives

27 First Choice Womens Resource Centers Our services include: * Pregnancy Tests, Ultrasounds, STD screenings, Counseling, Post Abortion Counseling, Support Services and Referrals * All of our services are free and confidential * Our three centers are located in Morristown, Montclair, and Jersey City

28 Medias Influence Now we will look at the medias message to our children. We will meet back together in 5 minutes

29 Mixed Messages God has entrusted your kids to you- He will help you know what to say! All kids need boundaries and respect having boundaries What message are you sending if you do not create boundaries? Media knows that sex sells and knows that teens have money to buy!

30 Movies Movies often push the rating system in order to make it PG 13 but also have sexual references or acts in it. will help you understand the will give you a better idea of why a movie has been given the

31 Television There are many suggestive ads on t.v., radio and in magazines. Talk about the ads together as a family. What shows are popular among your childrens friends? Watch some of those shows as a family and talk about them. maybe your child is not watching but chances are they have heard of these shows- talk about

32 Music Your child is listening to music throughout the day! Online, radio, phones, ipods, etc… The messages are often sexual will help you understand the lyrics. Talk about what the songs are The music videos that go along with these songs are often pornographic! Be aware!

33 Cell Phones Sexting is a huge problem for teens Monitor your childs text messages, pictures and videos. Be aware they can delete things from their phone! Many teens are using phones over night- it is okay to keep their phone over night!

34 Computers Pornography will find your children on the internet even if they are not looking for it! DO NOT LET YOUR CHILD HAVE A COMPUTER IN THEIR ROOM. Facebook is very common- keep tabs on your children. It is useful to learn more about your kids friends. Be aware your child can delete things before you see them.

35 Your Role as Parent Protect Be Prepared Help Prepare

36 The 3D Method is a resource for 3D Method asks parents to work with their child to *Discover- What is the message? *Discern- How does it stand in light of the biblical message? *Decide- What do I do with it?

37 This concludes our media portion. We will now take a 5 minute break.

38 Communication Why is it so difficult to talk to your kids about sex? Its embarrassing You think your teen wont listen You think you dont know as much about sex, development and STDs as their health teachers and school nurses Youre overwhelmed with the responsibilities of parenting and feel like you cant do it all You worry your teen will think youre being judgmental Maybe you made different choices when you were young and dont want to seem like a hypocrite.

39 Kitchen Table Conversations Talk to your kids early and often about sex Each talk can be casual and answer specific questions Make the topic of sex something your children feel comfortable bringing up with you The more comfortable you are with talking about sex the more comfortable your children will be in talking to you about sex

40 What Parents Need To Do Use Our Power To Empower Our Teens

41 PARENTS WHO C.A.R.E. C ourage to speak the truth A wareness of whats really going on in their world R ights and responsibilities guide thought and action E ngage and connect

42 Not all about SEX Remember that all discussions do not have to be just about sex; you should also talk about character, values, and making good decisions in all aspects of their lives. character values Making good decisions sex

43 Share your values! Your beliefs are some of the most powerful reasons for the sexual choices teens make. Values about education, marriage, and trust are more easily caught than taught You and your behavior are the most valuable values educators! Dont assume your child knows how you feel

44 Creating a Healthy Home Environment Protect your Child- answer the question Am I loveable? Dont Pack your Calendar- keep time available for your kids Take your Kids on Dates- focus on your child the way you focus on other important parts of your life Learn to Speak Your Childs Love Language- encourage their passions Evenings and Mornings- ask your child what their day looks like and follow up with them at the end of the day Model a Healthy Sexual Relationship with your Spouse- your children will look at your own relationships and determine whether or not they want the same Purity- stress and emphasize the importance of not just sexual abstinence but also purity

45 Early Communication Be Honest- let your values, goals and beliefs be known to your children Answer their questions, but dont give too much information- keep your answers age appropriate Ask questions to see what exactly your child is asking- this will help you judge how much information to share Let your child know that their concerns matter to you- if you shut down little times of communication you will have a harder time later addressing bigger issues.

46 Question and Answer Thank you for coming today! I would like to spend some time covering any questions you may have Please feel free to contact Sandy with any questions/comments. Contact information: x.

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