Presentation on theme: "Is S E X killing our kids? How can we help???"— Presentation transcript:
1Is S E X killing our kids? How can we help??? The amazing and powerful gift of sex has been distorted. Teens unhealthy perspective on sex is dangerous and WILL cost them…Is S E X killing our kids?How can we help???
2Straight Talk Parent First Choice Women’s Resource Centers Presenter: Sandy BoberRedeemer Montclair, May 15, 2010
3Why are you here?What has caused you to spend a few hours of your weekend with us?In other words, what are you looking to get of this workshop?What are some experiences you have already had with your teen that has brought you here today?
4Your child wants to hear from YOU! ALL studies have proven that kids want to hear the truth about sex from their parents first.Then it follows with friends, teachers and media.YOU are your child’s best teacher!
5God’s Role in Sex Sex is Great! Creation GenesisGenesis 1:26-27 states, “then God said, ‘Let us make man [the word translate “mankind” or “humans”] in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth , and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’ So God created Man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”Genesis 2:18-22 “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found (that fit him). So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.”
6God’s Role in SexGenesis 2:23-35, “The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.’ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”1 Corinthians 6:12, “Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. “1 Corinthians 6: 18-20, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”Song of Solomon: Tells a love story between two lovers.
7Satan Makes Sex BadSex is a wonderful part of a committed, marriage relationship. Sex is something special between a husband and wife that bonds them together creating one flesh.Satan wants to separate that bond and works feverishly to destroy marriage through infidelity.Satan distorts and perverts sex through molestation, rape and incest.Satan has tempted many to be sexually active before marriage leading to emotional and physical consequences.
8Pregnancy Statistics1 in 4 sexually active teen girls will become pregnant by age 20 in the USIn magazines, movies, music, books and TV, the message seems to be that all teens are or should be having sex. But research shows that the real majority of teens are choosing abstinence. More than half of teenagers in 9th-12th grade are not engaged in sexual activity, declining from 53 percent in 1995 to 47 percent in (CDC, Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Study, YRBSS, 2005).
9STD Statistics STD = Sexually Transmitted Disease. Last year there were 18.9 million NEW reported STD cases48% of those new cases occurred in people ages1 in 4 sexually active teenagers contract an STDWhat are some STDs that you have heard of before?
10Teens and Sexually Transmitted Diseases Why are STD rates so high?* Many cases do not show symptoms* Diseases spread easily and are hard to protect against* You have to rely on the honesty of infected people* People are not using protection* The more partners the more risk there is* Media sends the message that casual sex with multiple partners is common and acceptableRead slide.I repeat, “one out of four.”
11THE SPREAD OF STDS Genital Activity: Intercourse Dry Sex Oral sex Anal sexHand to genital contact (HPV)
12Sexually Transmitted Diseases Bacterial- Can be treatedViral- Only treat the symptoms“Today we have both bacterial and viral.”“Bacterial can be treated with antibiotics.In the case of viral diseases, we only treat the symptoms.Most of the viral STDS stay in your body for the rest of your life. ”
13Major STDs Gonorrhea Herpes Syphilis HPV (Human Papillomavirus) Bacterial Viral(Treatable with antibiotics) (Untreatable w/ antibiotics)Chlamydia HIV - AIDSGonorrhea HerpesSyphilis HPV (Human Papillomavirus)Here are the major diseases:Read each disease name.Bacterial ones we can treat IF we know they are present.But many times there are no overt symptoms so they don’t get treated.For the viral STDs, we treat the symptoms, which can recur throughout life.
14Syphilis 70,000 new cases annually in the US Bacterial- there is treatmentCan increase susceptibility to HIV by 2-5 times the normSpread via direct contact with a sore during vaginal, anal or oral sex
15Gonorrhea 700,000 new cases annually in the US Bacterial- there is treatmentDrug resistant strains of gonorrhea are increasing internationallyInfectiousness of HIV carriers and susceptibility of uninfected persons both rise with gonorrheaCan lead to PIDSpread via genital contact- ejaculation is not necessary
16Chlamydia About one third of sexually active females aged 12 – 19 have chlamydia.1Infertility occurs in 1 out of 10 chlamydia cases.“Chlamydia is bacterial and can be treated with antibiotics. But most frequently there are no symptoms and therefore no treatment is sought. Meanwhile, silent Pelvic Inflammatory Disease can scar the fallopian tubes, close them completely and potentially cause life threatening ectopic pregnancy.”Read slide.When you get to the stats, repeat for emphasis:“29.1% that’s nearly 30% had this infection!”Bottom of slide:….are infertile due to Chlamydia. “27% nearly 1/3!”“When I was growing up if you had an infertility problem you went to a doctor in New York City for care. Today, infertility has grown to such a problem just open your yellow pages, it is filled with doctors who deal with this issue.”27% of American women whohave undergone in-vitro fertilizationare infertile due to chlamydia.(CDC/ASRM 1999)1Longitudinal study, Baltimore Maryland, Journal of the American Medical Association, August 12, 1998
17Chlamydia 2.8 million new infections annually in the US Bacterial- there is treatmentCan increase susceptibility to HIV by 5 times the norm40% of untreated cases lead to PIDSpread via vaginal, oral or anal sex
18HIV- Human Immunodeficiency Virus 40,000 new cases annually in the US800,000 people currently infectedViral- there is no treatment70% of infections occur among men and 30% among women75% of infections are from sexual contact and 25% is credited to injected drug use
19Genital Herpes There is no medical cure ~ only treat symptoms. 1 out of 5 Americans over the age of 11 has genital herpes, a viral disease.45 Million Americans are living with Genital HerpesThere is no medical cure ~ only treat symptoms.Cells are shed even between outbreaks.Read slide.Repeat stat: “1 out of 5! Do people know this? Do we hear about this?”“No, we don’t have people telling us this because it’s so personal and private and emotionally painful. How does it impact a teenager when they know they will have this for the rest of their life and will bring it into their future marriage?”Read the rest of slide.“The medication we see advertised today on TV, you know, the lovely girl riding her bike alongside a lake with her boyfriend at her side? They make it look easy. Well, she will always have genital herpes, the medication that they’re selling can’t cure herpes. What it does do is decrease the frequency and the duration of the outbreaks. Anyone she becomes intimate with is still at risk for contracting the disease.”“There’s a huge emotional impact with these viral diseases that is usually not addressed.”Note for your information:Second bullet on screen refers to what is now known; cells are shed even during the time the carrier has no symptoms.The medication frequently seen on TV is Valtrex.Along with numerous other STDs, it has beenshown to increase the risk of HIV infection.
20HPV is the most common STD Most Americans are totally unaware of HPVOf 100 Strains, 30 are sexually transmitted.Some cause genital warts.Some cause cancerous changes.Others are not seen to be as dangerousRead top heading.Read entire slide.Last line “We know that condoms do not reduce the risk of HPV infection because it is a regional disease of the entire genital area and it is transmitted by skin-to-skin contact. Not in just the area a condom covers.”Note for your information:Chlamydia is the most common bacterial STD, HPV is the most common overall.In the US:- 13,700 cervical cancer cases in US per year- 4,100 deaths from cervical cancerRegarding the results of PAP Smears (in US):50 million annually45 million normal1.5 million inflammation or infection – these are unrelated to HPVTHESE ARE HPV RELATED:2.0 million ASCUS (Atypical Squamous Cells of Undetermined Significance) Of those ASCUS cells:1.2 million LSIL (Low-grade squamous intraepithelial lesions).3 million HSIL (High-grade SIL)The above 3 (ASCUS, LSIL, HSIL) are not cancer by may lead to.
21Human Papillomavirus (HPV) When dangerous strains are persistent,they are very serious.They cause 99.7% of all cervical cancers,1 and have been found in penile, anal and oral cancers.2____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________1 Journal of Pathology, C.S. Herrington, 8/24/99, 189:1-32 New England Journal of Medicine, J Mork, et al, 4/12/01, Vol. 344: 15Read slide.“We now know that cervical cancer is caused by a virus.”
22HPV 6.2 million new cases annually in the US It is estimated that 1 of every 2 sexually active people will contract HPV by 2020Viral- there is no treatmentMany of the carriers show no symptomsSpread via skin to skin contact- penetration is not necessary
23Pregnancy and CondomsHow effective are condoms at preventing pregnancy?97%- 2-4% condoms will slip or breakStudy with consenting adults show 86% effective.Difference between consenting adults and teenagers
26The Emotional STD Sex does not just effect the physical body Sexual activity also has emotional consequencesSexually active teens are more likely to be depressed than non sexually active teensThe emotions and memories from our past sexual experiences will stay with us for our entire lives
27First Choice Women’s Resource Centers Our services include:* Pregnancy Tests, Ultrasounds, STD screenings, Counseling, Post Abortion Counseling, Support Services and Referrals* All of our services are free and confidential* Our three centers are located in Morristown, Montclair, and Jersey City
28Media’s InfluenceNow we will look at the media’s message to our children.We will meet back together in 5 minutes
29Mixed MessagesGod has entrusted your kids to you- He will help you know what to say!All kids need boundaries and respect having boundariesWhat message are you sending if you do not create boundaries?Media knows that sex sells and knows that teens have money to buy!
30MoviesMovies often push the rating system in order to make it PG 13 but also have sexual references or acts in it.will help you understand the ratingswill give you a better idea of why a movie has been given the rating
31TelevisionThere are many suggestive ads on t.v., radio and in magazines. Talk about the ads together as a family.What shows are popular among your children’s friends? Watch some of those shows as a family and talk about them.maybe your child is not watching but chances are they have heard of these shows- talk about them
32MusicYour child is listening to music throughout the day! Online, radio, phones, ipods, etc… The messages are often sexualwill help you understand the lyrics. Talk about what the songs are saying.The music videos that go along with these songs are often pornographic! Be aware!
33Cell Phones Sexting is a huge problem for teens Monitor your child’s text messages, pictures and videos. Be aware they can delete things from their phone!Many teens are using phones over night- it is okay to keep their phone over night!
34ComputersPornography will find your children on the internet even if they are not looking for it! DO NOT LET YOUR CHILD HAVE A COMPUTER IN THEIR ROOM.Facebook is very common- keep tabs on your children. It is useful to learn more about your kid’s friends. Be aware your child can delete things before you see them.
35Your Role as ParentProtectBe PreparedHelp Prepare
36The 3D Method www.CPYU.org is a resource for parents. 3D Method asks parents to work with their child to*Discover- What is the message?*Discern- How does it stand in light of the biblical message?*Decide- What do I do with it?
37This concludes our media portion. We will now take a 5 minute break.
38Communication Why is it so difficult to talk to your kids about sex? It’s embarrassingYou think your teen won’t listenYou think you don’t know as much about sex, development and STDs as their health teachers and school nursesYou’re overwhelmed with the responsibilities of parenting and feel like you can’t do it allYou worry your teen will think you’re being judgmentalMaybe you made different choices when you were young and don’t want to seem like a hypocrite.
39Kitchen Table Conversations Talk to your kids early and often about sexEach talk can be casual and answer specific questionsMake the topic of sex something your children feel comfortable bringing up with youThe more comfortable you are with talking about sex the more comfortable your children will be in talking to you about sex
40Use Our Power To Empower Our Teens What Parents Need To DoUse Our Power To Empower Our Teens
41PARENTS WHO C.A.R.E. C ourage to speak the truth A wareness of what’s really goingon in their worldR ights and responsibilities guidethought and actionE ngage and connect
42Not all about SEXRemember that all discussions do not have to be just about sex; you should also talk about character, values, and making good decisions in all aspects of their lives.charactervaluesMaking good decisionssex
43Share your values!Your beliefs are some of the most powerful reasons for the sexual choices teens make.Values about education, marriage, and trust are more easily “caught” than “taught”You and your behavior are the most valuable “values” educators!Don’t assume your child knows how you feel
44Creating a Healthy Home Environment Protect your Child- answer the question “Am I loveable?”Don’t Pack your Calendar- keep time available for your kidsTake your Kids on Dates- focus on your child the way you focus on other important parts of your lifeLearn to Speak Your Child’s Love Language- encourage their passionsEvenings and Mornings- ask your child what their day looks like and follow up with them at the end of the dayModel a Healthy Sexual Relationship with your Spouse- your children will look at your own relationships and determine whether or not they want the samePurity- stress and emphasize the importance of not just sexual abstinence but also purity
45Early CommunicationBe Honest- let your values, goals and beliefs be known to your childrenAnswer their questions, but don’t give “too much” information- keep your answers age appropriateAsk questions to see what “exactly” your child is asking- this will help you judge how much information to shareLet your child know that their concerns matter to you- if you shut down little times of communication you will have a harder time later addressing bigger issues.
46Question and Answer Thank you for coming today! I would like to spend some time covering any questions you may havePlease feel free to contact Sandy with any questions/comments. Contact information:x. 12