Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Definitions of Pornography Clinical Definition Any image that leads a person to use another person for their own sexual pleasure. It is devoid of relationship, love and intimacy. It can be highly addictive.
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Definitions of Pornography Catechism of the Catholic Church Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. Cont.
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Definitions of Pornography Catechism of the Catholic Church - cont. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants, since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials. CCC, 2354
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Pornography Time Statistics Every second - $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography Every second - 28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography Every second - 372 Internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines Every 39 minutes: a new pornographic video is being created in the United States
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Revenues The pornography industry earns over $97 Billion every year $13 Billion comes from the USA Earns more than the top technology companies combined: Microsoft, Google, Amazon, EBay, Yahoo, Apple, Netflix and EarthLink. Child Pornography generates $3 Billion
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Breakdown of Revenues Adult Videos$3.62 Internet$2.84 Cable/PPV/Phone Sex$2.19 Strip Clubs$2.00 Novelties$1.73 Magazines $.95 Total $13.33 billion
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Internet Pornography 4.2 million pornographic websites 420 million pornographic WebPages 68 million daily pornographic search engine requests – Google 25% of all search engine requests 4.5 billion average daily pornographic emails 100,000 child porn websites worldwide
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Adult Internet Porn Statistics Men admitting to accessing pornography at work: 20% US adults who regularly visit Internet pornography websites: 40 million Promise Keeper men who viewed pornography in last week: 53%
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Adult Internet Porn Statistics Christians who said pornography is a major problem in the home: 47% Adults admitting to Internet sexual addiction: 10% Breakdown of male/female visitors to pornography sites: 72% male - 28% female
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. How Porn Enters the Home Television Computer/Internet Video Games Cell Phones Print Media Advertising Popular Music Clothing
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. The Addictiveness of Porn Men are visually stimulated Viewing an erotic image releases Dopamine in the brain. When mixed with Testosterone, it can affect the brain like a drug Creates a feeling of excitement Excitement + Sexual Arousal + Orgasm = The desire for more! This is where an addiction can develop
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. The Addictiveness of Porn Soon a tolerance develops More of the substance is needed to achieve the same effect – soft porn is not enough The man moves onto hard-core porn, which can include violence, children, fetishes, etc. Dependence develops after this. The man craves porn physically and emotionally.
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. The Addictiveness of Porn Eventually viewing sexual acts in pornography is not enough The addict will want to engage in the sexual acts he has seen in pornography He may seek out prostitutes or anonymous sex partners This can result in contracting sexually transmitted diseases and even death
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Sexual Dating, Escort, and Chat Room Websites When viewing pornography is no longer satisfying, some men will turn to these sites to find people for the purpose of having sex Often done with escorts/prostitutes Can lead to heavy amounts of dangerous, anonymous, and/or promiscuous sex No different than an extramarital affair Can go on for years
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Damage to Men from Porn and Masturbation Turns men in upon themselves thereby damaging their self-giving as spouses and fathers Prevents men from being the leaders, providers and protectors that God has called them to be Damages male confidence Harms the ability to see and to respect the true beauty of ones wife/of women
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Damage to Men from Porn and Masturbation Loss of respect in women with increased tendency to control, dominate and overreact in anger Harms the ability to communicate Leads to reclusiveness and to an escape from reality Perpetuates lies and deceit Increases guilt,shame Harms faith that strengthens men Harms the relationship with the Lord
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. My Genes Made Me Do It! Its easy to simply blame porn use on the fact that men are wired to be attracted to it. God wants us to rise above our base attractions. Authentic manhood calls us to live virtuously and to overcome weaknesses. He calls us to love women as beautiful human beings, not as sex objects.
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Causes of the Porn Plague Selfishness Loneliness Male insecurity Poor body image Marital conflicts Excessive pressures Weak spiritual life
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Causes of the Porn Plague Sexual utilitarian philosophy Accessibility Mistrust of women/men Lack of a sense of fulfillment Lack of sexual confidence These conflicts feed five core cognitive distortions:
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Core Beliefs that Fuel Pornography Addiction 1. I am unworthy of being loved. 2. If people really knew me, they would reject me. 3. I cannot trust anyone, including God, to meet my needs. 4. I must find something that I can control to meet my needs. 5. Pornography/sex is my greatest need and source of comfort.
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Porn Problem vs. Addiction Pornography Problem Viewing pornography at least once a month Usually view the same porn Often not premeditated Little or no craving for pornography Little or no marked increase in porn use
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Porn Problem vs. Addiction Pornography Addiction Viewing pornography daily or binging Craving porn – needing it to deal with stress, anger, anxiety, etc. Intensity of porn has increased - Soft Core Hard Core, Fetish, Bondage, Violence, Child Porn, etc.
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Porn Problem vs. Addiction Pornography Addiction, cont. Tempted to act out the scenes viewed in porn Becoming difficult to find anyone sexually attractive other than the women in pornography
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. How Wives Feel About Their Husbands Viewing Porn It is as serious as an extramarital affair They feel deeply hurt and betrayed Makes them feel unattractive and sexually undesirable They cannot compete with the young women in pornography
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. How Wives Feel About Their Husbands Viewing Porn View their husbands as untrustworthy and as weak role models for children Some women experience symptoms of severe trauma Leads to severe marital problems and even divorce
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Damage to Marriage/Family A delusional belief that fantasy is better than authentic love Growth in selfishness, the major enemy of marital love, with severe harm to ones spouse Failure to understand and appreciation the beauty and sacredness of marital love Lack of refinement in self-giving to the romantic, friendship, and spousal love Diminished communication with one's spouse
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Damage to Marriage/Family Sadness, anger, weakened confidence, diminished ability to trust in offended spouse Harms marital intimacy Increases loneliness and anger Creates a disordered view of beauty, goodness, the human person and sexuality Increases vulnerability to adultery Leads to marital separation & divorce Weakens the spiritual life
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Warning Signs in Marriage 1. Neglecting the romantic aspect of the marriage 2. Neglecting the marital friendship 3. Loss of interest in the intimate relationship 4. Going to bed several hours after the wife 5. Intuitive sense that he fails to appreciate his wifes beauty and goodness
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Warning Signs in Marriage 6. Preference for masturbation over marital sex 7. Difficulty with sexual performance with wife 8. Minimizes the seriousness of porn 9. Attempts to isolate from spouse with the computer 10. Preoccupation with oral/anal sex
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Damage to Young Men Involvement in the fantasy world undermines their ability to communicate and relate to women in a healthy manner Interferes with the development of a healthy personality Harms their ability to understand and want to make a loving commitment in marriage Fosters the Sexual Utilitarian Philosophy
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Damage to Young Men Can lead to severe loneliness, depression, social anxiety and profound weaknesses in confidence Given the severe harm caused by pornography in marriages, premarital programs should address this issue. If the person is unwilling to address and resolve this conflict, a young woman should reconsider marriage. The Church should consider not allowing such a person to marry.
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Enabling the Porn Plague Permissive parenting style with an abandonment of emotional and spiritual leadership Fathers who use pornography Contraceptive mentality Those who fail to appreciate the beauty and sacredness of marital love Those who fail to communicate the fullness of the Churchs teaching on sexual morality
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Enabling the Porn Plague Lack of awareness of the harm caused by porn and masturbation Media Educators Cultural animus against Judeo-Christian morality Societys refusal to address the issue
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Role of the Church Be committed to the Churchs teaching on human sexuality Dont be afraid to teach and preach about it Communicate the beauty and sacredness of sexuality within the sacrament of marriage Warn of the dangers of pornography and compulsive masturbation Criticize the sexual utilitarian philosophy
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Role of the Church Criticize permissive parenting Strengthen Christian fatherhood Teach that true manliness is measured by ones character Consider starting a church support group for men and teens who struggle with pornography
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Role of the Church Groups that offer support, accountability, and community for men: The Kings Men That Man is You St. Joseph Covenant Keepers Knights of Columbus Promise Keepers Everymans Battle
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Role of the Church Suggestions for what to tell men who confess struggling with pornography: Thank God for your strength in coming forward and admitting you have a problem. This is the first step in your journey to recovery. Youre not alone. Thousands of men struggle with compulsive pornography use. Do you want to be free from this sin? Are you willing to pay the price?
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Role of the Church Suggestions for what to tell men who confess struggling with pornography, cont.: Healing and freedom from sin is possible, but know that you cant do it alone. It requires Gods grace, professional help, and support from other men who understand your struggle.
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Role of the Church Suggestions for what to tell men who confess struggling with pornography, cont.: Here is a list of helpful resources. If youre serious about overcoming pornography use, I urge you to explore them. Know that God, the Father of Mercy and Love, will provide the grace to overcome this affliction.
Copyright 2011 Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. Comprehensive Counseling Services 100 Four Falls Corporate Center Suite 312 West Conshohocken, PA 19428 610-397-0960 www.MaritalHealing.com