Presentation on theme: "Putting It All Together: Practical Strategies for Making and Keeping the Habits We Desire Presented by: Dr. Caren Baruch-Feldman Website – www.drbaruchfeldman.com."— Presentation transcript:
Putting It All Together: Practical Strategies for Making and Keeping the Habits We Desire Presented by: Dr. Caren Baruch-Feldman Website – - Scarsdale Library April 12, 2013
A Little Bit About Me BeforeAfter
Goals for Today 1. Quick review of the latest research in habit building and willpower (based on 4 books). 2. Help you to develop your own positive, new habits. 3. Teach you the secrets of how to maintain these new habits by being more mindful and less impulsive.
Four Books Serve as Inspiration
BAD News/ GOOD News 1. Our brains are lazy. 2. Stress makes us more susceptible to fall into bad habits. 4. Willpower is a limited resource. 5. Glucose/sugar refuels willpower (ugh). 6. We tend to be short-term as opposed to long-term hedonists. 1. You can build willpower. 2. Since willpower is limited – need to make into a habit so willpower is not used. 3. Pick gateway habits (write it down, meditation, and exercise). 4. Develop beliefs that will inspire you, focusing on long term goals as opposed to the immediate gratification.
Putting It Into Practice 1.Pick a bad habit to change. 2.Change your beliefs so that you are more mindful and reflective, focusing on the long term goals as opposed to the immediate gratification. 3.Identify ways to be proactive and mindful. 4.Give yourself credit along the way. 5.When you get off track, and you will, learn how to get back on track with limited damage through using response cards.
Lets Put Our Ideas Into Practice: Bad Habit 1.Write down one bad habit that you would like to work on. 2.What is the cue, routine, and reward for this bad habit? 1. Bad habit to change? Eating cookies after 9pm. 2. What is the cue, routine, and reward for this old habit? Cue = feeling entitled or having a craving. Routine = go into the kitchen for just 1 cookie, but eat many more. Reward = dopamine rush and pleasure from taste of cookie.
Lets Put Our Ideas Into Practice: New Habit 1.Write down one new habit that you would like to work on. 2.What is the cue, routine, and reward for the new habit? 1.New habit? Staying out of the kitchen after 9pm. 2.What is the cue, routine, and reward of this new habit? Cue = feeling entitled or having a craving. Routine = go into bedroom and drink decaf coffee. Reward = continue to fit into my size 4 pants.
Bad Habit/Good Habit 1. Bad Habit to Change? Getting frustrated with my son when he loses his jacket. 2. What is the Cue, Routine, and Reward of this Old Habit? Cue = Son loses his jacket. Routine = I get frustrated that he has lost another Northface coat. Reward = Get it off my chest and feel better as Im yelling. New Habit? Staying calm when my son loses another Northface jacket. 2. What is the Cue, Routine, and Reward for the New Habit? Cue = Son loses his jacket. Routine = Stay calm and see if we can brainstorm to find it. Reward = Better relationship with my son. Good role model for dealing with frustration.
Changing a Habit is Not Enough: Need to Change the Belief Sabotaging Beliefs Focuses on the here and now. Emotionally charged. Distortions/Delusions EXAMPLES Stay away from- what the heck phenomena. Stay away from thinking your are doing good. Your future self, is no better than your current self. Helpful Beliefs Focuses on the long-term. More thoughtful and rational. Less emotionally charged. EXAMPLES Stand firm. No wavering. Remind yourself of the whole story, not just the beginning. Seek to be consistent.
Whats Your Sabotaging Beliefs? Whats Your Rational, Helpful Beliefs? Common Sabotaging Thoughts Its ok to eat this just one time. Since I cheated a little I might as well eat whatever I want. Im upset, I should be allowed to eat. Ive been so good, I deserve it. Im annoyed its ok to be nasty. Im right so who cares how I come across. Helpful Beliefs No its not ok to eat something I didnt plan for. Each time I do, I strengthen my giving-in muscle instead of my resistance ones. If I want to be thin, then I cant eat when Im upset. I get only a few seconds of pleasure for eating unplanned food, but then I feel bad afterwards. I want to lose weight more than the few seconds of pleasure. I deserve to be truly happy, eating cake out of the box is really not going to make me happy in the long run. Ultimately does it really matter than Im right. Is my relationship more important or is being right more important?
Setting Yourself Up For Success: Being Proactive Write down the steps to achieving your goal (goal setting and self monitoring). Make it easy to be good and hard to be bad. Avoid triggers. Identify and pick a distraction or a replacement activity.
Be mindful Meditation m/watch?v=0fcdv0kFV Ms m/watch?v=0fcdv0kFV Ms Builds resistance muscles and weakens the giving in muscles.
Give Yourself Credit. Give yourself credit for engaging in helpful eating behaviors. Write down CREDIT. What is your MAZEL of the day?
Response Cards A response card is a tool that helps you change your mindset and overcome sabotaging thoughts. Read the card everyday and when you are struggling with a craving, temptation, or sabotaging thought. By reading everyday you make this into a habit. Response Cards to get you started: 1. Advantage Card 2. Its Not Ok Card Response Cards to keep you going and when you fall off track: 1. Oh Well Card 2. Get Back on Track Card
1st Response Card: Advantage Card My Advantage Card for Watching My Weight Ill look better. Ill be able to wear a smaller size. Ill be in better health. Ill feel better physically. Ill feel more in control.
Its Not Ok Response Card Its not ok to go in the kitchen after 9pm. Its not ok to eat crumbs. Every time I do so I wind up eating more or something that I am not supposed to. I also feel bad afterwards. Even though it does taste good for a few minutes, it is not worth it. Its not ok to be nasty with my son. I wouldnt want anyone to talk to me that way even if the other person was right.
Be Accepting:Oh Well Saying, oh well means I dont like it this, but Ill accept this and move on. True acceptance allows us to relinquish the struggle and allows us to have the energy to focus on what we can control rather than on what we cant control. I really feel hungry. Oh well. This is too hard and not fair. Oh well. I wish I could eat what I wanted all the time. Oh well. My son keeps losing his Northface Oh well.
Get Back on Track Response Card Okay I shouldnt have eaten that… I made a mistake… This one mistake is certainly not going to make me gain weight this week. Its a million times better to stop now than to allow myself to eat more. I deserve credit for stopping.
Change that Habit Form by Dr. Caren Baruch-Feldman 1. Gateway Habits (exercise and write it down)? ___ 2. Stand Firm? ___ 3. Meditate? ___ 4. Seek Social Support and/or Make It Public? ___ 5. Give Myself Credit/Mazel of the Day? ___ 6. Change My Belief(s)? ___ 7. Use an Advantage Card? ___ 8. Make It Easy to Follow My New Habit and Hard to Follow My Old One? ___ 9. All of the Above? ___
Last Thoughts Make it a habit!!! Not enough to just think about these matters. Need to do it so eventually it will become a habit and muscle memory will be formed. Feedback for me. Small group/individual session forming: weight loss; other habits – reach out to me at: for more